by Dane Bagley
***
“I think that she has a stomach ache,” Bob said as he turned to Danny.
“It looks like it. I think that we should tell Tammy.”
“Tammy was exhausted, and she wanted us to take care of things,” Bob explained.
“Yes, but she will be furious if something happens to her ‘specimen.’”
“I’m more worried about her; she looks really uncomfortable,” said Bob genuinely.
The woman in cell had turned away from them slightly, and was looking in the air, as if she didn’t know what to do. She started to bend her knees up and down a little, almost unconsciously. She turned back to the men, and gave them the same gesture when she wanted a glass of water. Bob thought, “Oh that might help with a stomach ache, I’ll get her another glass of water. I wonder if there are any Tums in here.” He started to go for another glass of water, but he saw her shake her head at him in a strange way. He stopped and looked on again. She showed him the glass of water gesture again, and then the hand on the stomach and the grimace of the face expression.
Finally she lifted up her eyebrows and looked at him as though to say, “Get it?”
Bob didn’t get it. The woman started bouncing again, and this time with a little more urgently.
“I think that she has to pee,” said Danny.
“Oh, I think you’re right. Oh, oh. That’s not good.”
“What do we do?” asked Danny. “We can’t take her out of her cell. That was our most important instruction.”
“Do we have a bottle or container or something?” asked Bob.
“Will that beaker fit through the bars? It looks like it’s big enough to hold it.”
“Hand it to me, I’ll try.” Bob walked with the beaker towards the cell. The alien woman looked at him with a very concerned expression on her face. He reached it up to the bar, and saw that it fit—barely. He then pulled it back and gestured to the woman by holding it in position and gently squatting. The woman looked at him in utter dismay. First her face whitened, and then it turned a bright crimson. Bob tried to hand it to her, but she did not reach for it. Instead she wrinkled her eyebrows, and shook her head adamantly. “She definitely has got to pee. But I don’t think she wants to do it in front of us.”
“Maybe if we turn our backs,” offered Danny. The two men turned their backs to her momentarily and then Bob reached up the beaker again. The woman lowered her head and looked up at Bob, with her dark eyes penetrating. She shook her head slowly but assertively. Bob was mesmerized again. They clearly understood each other. He was communicating with this beautiful alien woman. Even though she was the captive and she was in the cell, she had him in the palm of her hand.
“We have to get her to a bathroom. She’s got to go, and she isn’t going to do it like some kind of animal,” expressed Bob.
“I am not going to disobey orders.”
“I’m calling Captain Jenners,” said Bob.
Steve and Mike were talking together when Bob interrupted them over the intercom. “We’ve got a situation in the lab…with the woman—the alien.” Steve and Mike looked at each other alarmed, and sat up straight.
“What’s going on, Bob?” asked Steve directly.
“Uh…this woman, uh…she has to go.”
“What! Go where? She’s not going anywhere. Are you talking with her?”
“No, Captain, she’s trying to talk, but I can’t understand her. I mean she has to go, as in, she’s got to pee.”
Mike’s face turned into an instant smile, and he bowed his head and started to chuckle. Steve smiled from ear to ear as he and Mike exchanged a look.
“Bob, this alien is not leaving the cell. Remember, this is an intelligent creature. That is the oldest trick in the book. Even they know that trick out here.”
“No Captain, she really does have to go. I gave her four glasses of water, and I can tell it’s for real,” said Bob in all seriousness.
“Captain,” Danny came on, “I think it’s the real thing.”
“Well, give her something to go in. She’s not getting out of the cell.”
“Yeah, um, we tried that. But she said that she wouldn’t.”
“I thought that you couldn’t understand her?”
“I can’t understand her words, but I understood that.”
Mike was starting to laugh uncontrollably.
“Captain Jenners,” Danny was still speaking with as much seriousness as possible. “She understands that we wanted her to pee in the beaker, but she won’t. I think that we are going to have to do something.”
Steve looked at Mike, and rolled his eyes. “What are we going to do?” he asked Mike.
“If she has to go bad enough, she’ll go in the beaker, I suppose,” suggested Mike.
Something inside of Steve began to eat at him. “Look, we captured her, and she didn’t put up any fight. We have weapons and more tranquilizing darts. We’ve got plenty of us. Maybe we could give her an armed escort to the bathroom. We could be like the Secret Service.”
Mike shook his head and chuckled slightly. “If she really has to go, she’ll go in the beaker.”
“Come on, Mike, let’s go. We’ll bring all the arms, and make sure there is no funny business. There is a bathroom in the lab, so we won’t have to compromise the air lock.”
