Chapter 32
Kat stood in the bathroom wrapped in a white, cotton towel and placed her toothbrush back in its holder. The stereo in the bedroom played lightly in the background. Humming softly to the music, she leaned forward against the vanity letting it support her. She struggled with her emotions, tried to sort them out. All evening her feelings had been changing like a kaleidoscope, one moment she experienced fear and trepidation the next she would feel protective, and then worried and sad. It was a confusing mix that somehow did not quite feel like her own. She shook her head, in an attempt to shake the latest feeling of apprehension away.
She walked out into the bedroom and found Stephan sitting on the bed. He patted the mattress next to him.
“Come sit please, Katrina. I need to talk to you.”
She sat beside him on the bed, the mattress barely registering her weight.
“I have been wanting to talk to you too, Stephan.”
Stephan covered her hand with his. “You first, schatz.”
“I’ve been feeling so strange lately. I get these sensations, feelings. They don’t seem like my own.” Confusion thickened her voice. “I’ve been feeling conflicted, and then fearful and protective, and now sad.”
Stephan’s eyes widen slightly. “And love,” he added. Kat nodded. “I believe you are probably feeling my emotions. It’s from the blood exchange. My blood is now a part of you. It has permeated every cell and what you are feeling are my emotions. I’ll forever be a part of you.”
“Oh,” Kat murmured her eyes down cast. “I didn’t know that was possible.” Stephan gave her a moment to digest what he had said while he placed his arm around her shoulders.
“It’s okay, Kitten. You’ll get used to it. Eventually you’ll be able to know which feelings are mine and which are yours. Don’t let it scare you.”
Katrina’s mind turned that bit of information over. Knowing how someone else felt, especially the man she loved, might not be such a bad thing. She would never have to wonder if he told her the truth. Most men had a hard time discussing their feelings, at least this way she would always know what Stephan felt whether or not he spoke them aloud. This definitely had advantages Katrina decided.
She looked at him from beneath her long lashes. “You said you wanted to talk to me,” she reminded him, when she remembered he’d initiated this conversation.
Stephan took a deep breath before he spoke. “Kat, I love you, and I want us to spend the rest of our lives together…” His voice trailed off as if he waited for her to absorb what he said.
“But…” she prompted.
She watched him swallow, seemingly to gather his courage to continue. “No buts. I love you, and I want to spend the rest of our lives together.”
“Oh Stephan!” Kat wrapped her arms around him and gave him a tight squeeze. “I love you too. Of course I want to spend the rest of my life with you!”
He pulled back slightly and looked into her eyes. “I’m relieved to hear you say that.”
“You’re relieved? But I can feel you are still troubled.”
Stephan dropped one arm to the mattress. “Sweetheart, I need to talk to you about something. I can’t imagine watching you grow old and die. It would break my heart. When I speak of being together for the rest of our lives, I want that to be centuries. I need to know if you would be willing to convert.”
“Convert? You mean like become a vampire?” She worried her lower lip between her teeth.
“Yes.” His face remained expressionless. “Yes, I mean become a vampire. Would you be willing to do that?”
She thought for a moment, her mind racing. “Tell me how it is done.”
He turned toward her on the bed, and took both her hands into his much larger ones. “The way to convert is for me to take your blood from you as you take mine from me, creating a transfusion of sorts. Slowly the virus that causes vampirism would ease into your blood. It would be absorbed by your body and cause changes in your DNA.”
“Will it hurt?”
He squeezed her hands before continuing. “Kat, I won’t lie to you. The changes will be painful. It will hurt a lot.”
“But you have taken my pain away before?”
“Yes. I would be here with you, taking as much of your pain as I can, but when I have eased your pain in the past, it was because I healed you. As your wounds mended the pain went away. This process is different. I cannot heal you from this. There will be no wounds. Every cell, muscle, even your organs will change from the virus and that I cannot heal. I will shoulder what pain I can, but there will not be much I can do. There will be much pain.”
Kat stilled, tension tightening her shoulders. “So once I became a vampire, I would have to drink blood like you and Marcus?”
“Yes, you would. The virus changes our muscles, causing them to grow stronger by creating more muscle fibers. Those muscles require more blood so it enlarges our hearts to pump the extra blood throughout our bodies. Our bodies do not make enough blood on their own to sustain the changes so we must consume the blood our cells and tissues require. The virus will also shrink your stomach to make room for your larger heart. The smaller stomach makes it impossible to eat large quantities of food. Therefore, the blood you consume will also help provide the nourishment you will no longer get from food.”
Kat pulled her hands from Stephan and wrung them nervously in her lap. Her heart rate increased, stomach tightened.
“And you would have to drink from me, to convert me?” she asked nervously, her voice but a whisper.
“Yes, that is how it is done.”
Kat once again became pensive, her eyes downcast. Stephan stilled beside her, awaiting her decision. Could she become a vampire? Not aging, a plus. Extra strength, also a plus. Allowing him to drink from her? The thought of it turned her stomach. Bile pushed into her throat. Her heart raced, panicked breaths left her body in short bursts.
Decision made, she looked back up at him from under her lashes dark with unshed tears threatening to spill from her eyes. “I’m sorry, I just can’t. I can’t have anyone drink from me, even you, Stephan. It’s too scary.” Her tears burned her eyes as the lump formed in her throat. “I want to be with you, but I don’t want to be a vampire.” The tears began to fall.
“I could give you more time to consider this,” he kindly offered. “You don’t have to answer tonight.”
She loved him dearly, but she didn’t need more time. Time wouldn’t overcome her fear. They would have a human lifetime; that would have to somehow be enough.
“All the time in the world wouldn’t matter. I can’t do it. I’m so sorry.” Tears streaked down both her cheeks.
“It’s all right, Kitten,” He gathered her into his arms. After he placed his chin on top of her head, he stroked the long silken strands that flowed down her back. “It’s okay, you don’t have to convert,” he whispered.
Slowly Stephan’s eyelids lowered to contain the emotions that suffocated him. If she wouldn’t convert, that left him only one choice. He would have to keep her safe the only other way he knew, he would have to send her away. With her memory wiped, it would be easy for her to live away from him, only he would have to suffer. And he loved her enough to willingly suffer any torment to keep her safe.
Katrina pulled back and gently cupped his chin in the palm of her hand. “Look at me, my love,” she said gently. “I can feel your sadness. We will be okay. I promise. Who knows, maybe in a few years I’ll feel differently.”
Stephan opened his eyes slowly, realizing that she would not understand why he felt so distraught. He pushed into her mind to glean her thoughts. Kat’s only concern was for him. She wanted to make him happy, wanted to erase the internment of the emotions consuming him. She may not fully understand the reason behind his dark mood, but she was determined to ease his suffering.
As the song, In the Air Tonight played sultrily in the background, she began feathering soft kisses in a trail up his neck. By the time she reached
his lips, his mouth met hers with a fiery passion. He poured all of his love for her into that kiss. His emotions were too raw. He couldn’t be gentle. He needed to be fierce, almost punishing, and Kat reveled in every second of the kiss.
He allowed his emotions to engulf her, consume her, igniting her own fiery passion. His emotions flowed into her until he could not tell where his ended and hers began. They became one and the rest of the world melted away.
One hand slid up her thigh under the towel while the other grabbed the corner and pulled it from her, letting it pool on the floor. Her hands worked his clothing. In their frenzy, together they unbuttoned his shirt so she could slide it off his shoulders before she helped him from his pants.
She slid down his body coming to rest before him on her knees. His erect shaft jumped when she took it into her hand and leaned forward. Kat licked the length of him, swirling her tongue around his sensitive tip while her hand worked up and down in a tantalizing rhythm. Up and down, in and out. The combination nearly drove him out of his mind. She worked him masterfully, making his body burn each time he plunged into the scalding cavern of heat and fire. She built speed. The combination of suckling and rubbing caused him to throw his head back and growl with need.
His hand fisted in her silky strands, hips worked in time with her hot mouth. She swirled her tongue around his shaft and settled into a fast rhythm of licks, nibbles, and forceful pulls that made him harden further. His stomach tightened with his need as the climax started to build. He pulled from her scorching mouth before he embarrassed himself.
Stephan grabbed her under her arms and raised her to her feet before him. Taking control, he bent and suckled at her breast. Her nipple pebbled against his tongue as he slid one hand slowly along her stomach. He traced the lines of each hip bone before resting his hand at the juncture of her thighs. She opened her legs for him, pushing against his hand as if needing the contact. He found her ready and wet for him. Two fingers glided into her velvet folds and he rubbed tiny circles with his thumb on her sensitive nub. When she began to writhe, his free hand grabbed her buttocks, holding her still for his ministrations. She clung to his strong shoulders. It felt good having her nails digging into his flesh, and he welcomed the pain as an expression of his inner turmoil. He gently nibbled her nipple, causing her to thrash her head from side to side from the pleasure, a small mewing sound escaping her throat.
“Please,” she breathed, pleading for more. He willingly gave it to her, wanting to make this evening perfect for her. He brought her over the edge for the first of what he knew would be many times that night. She trembled in his arms when the spasms racked her body.
In the blink of her eye, he had her up on the bed on her hands and knees with him behind her. He sat back on his heels, running his hands roughly along the sides of her body until they rested on each hip. Kat looked over her shoulder at him, her eyes dark with passion.
“Please, take me,” she whispered.
He did not need a second invitation. Stephan happily obliged, entering her with one swift thrust that made her arch back toward him. A delicious moan escaped her kiss-swollen lips as he drove into her. Their flesh pounded, the sound drowning out the music playing in the background.
She met him thrust for thrust, their intensity increasing as did the pressure in her. He brought one hand around and began once again rubbing tiny circles on the most sensitive spot between her folds. She straightened, leaning back against him, the angle changing the pressure where they were coupled. He felt another orgasm take her, those velvet folds gripped him like a silken vice.
While she cried out his name, he released her hips and ran both hands up her body until they found her breasts. Slowing the rhythm, he began to knead her breasts in time to his thrusts. He leaned his head and whispered, so his hot breath would ghost over her ear. “You’re so beautiful.”
He kissed a sultry trail down her neck. When he reached the spot where her shoulder met her neck, his teeth slid down from his gums. His mouth watered as he carefully kissed her pulse, feeling it beat under his lips. His body wanted desperately to taste of her, just a small taste would be enough to know if she was his heartmate. Every instinct in him screamed for him to take her properly and bite into her, but instead he separated their bodies and willed his teeth to retract, for knowing she was his heartmate would not make what waited in their future any easier.
He lay down on his back, and brought her to rest astride him, the sensuous sight taking all other thoughts from his head. Her golden hair enveloped their heads, veiling them from the world. Everything became about her. Every thought, every sensation. Her. She surrounded him until he no longer knew where he stopped and she began.
She braced herself with her hands on his chest as she slid up and down his thick shaft. Each slip brought a new sensation of pleasure racing through his body. Their breath came faster now as he leaned up and captured one of her ample breasts in his mouth. She increased their pace, making him buck beneath her. His hand bit into her hips, and she rode him like a rodeo bronco. Her silken folds tightened around him, indicating she was close to tumbling over the edge once again. She pushed off his chest, arching back when the next orgasm took her. He growled and continued pumping wildly into her, letting her slick muscles milk him into his own release.
Completely sated, Kat slumped over him. They lay together, still joined, trying to catch their breaths. Neither spoke. They simply lay together until Kat fell asleep. Then Stephan gently separated their bodies and rolled her off to his side. He covered them both with the smooth cool sheet as he gazed down on her thinking how much he wished there was another way to keep her safe.
Stephan slid from between the silky covers leaving Kat to her dreams. After dressing, he padded downstairs on soundless feet to discover Marcus sat alone in the dark living room. He slumped down onto the couch across from his fellow Alpha.
“Well,” Marcus asked, hope widening his eyes, “how did it go?”
“She won’t convert,” Stephan replied. The agony washed over his face when the full weight of that simple statement fell heavily on his shoulders.
“How did you present the conversion?” Marcus inquired, alarm raising the tone of his voice.
Stephan efficiently relayed the story of how he had asked Kat to convert. Marcus nodded his head silently when Stephan finished his tale.
“Tell me what you are going to do,” he demanded wearily.
“I only see one thing I can do. The only option is to wipe her memory of us and send her away.” Stephan sighed, a look of resignation clouded his face as he crossed his arms across his wide chest.
“When are you going to do it?”
“Tomorrow evening.” Marcus opened his mouth to protest when Stephan cut him off explaining, “There’s no point in waiting. It won’t hurt any less if we wait.”
Marcus sunk into himself.
What are you thinking, Marcus?
You are in my mind. I don’t need to say it.
He didn’t. It was all there for Stephan to see. Marcus loved Katrina dearly, cared about her deeply. He couldn’t imagine his life without her shining face and bubbly personality to bring him happiness. She was his friend, his confidante, and he loved her in his own way, perhaps not as much as Stephan, but he loved her none the less. The thought of losing her, never seeing her again, ripped out his heart. But he also knew Stephan was right, it would only hurt more the longer they waited.
Stephan pulled from his mind, no longer able to bear his friends feelings which so closely mirrored his own. He watched Marcus in silence. The downtrodden look on his face reflected the one Stephan wore. Both males radiated hurt and sadness as they thought about the inevitable. Stephan knew neither of them wanted to do what was necessary to keep Katrina safe. It was only the knowledge that she would be safe that even allowed Stephan to contemplate such an atrocity.
But Stephan knew they could not be selfish. They had to have the courage to let her go. At least she would be alive, wi
thout them, but alive none the less. And her safety had to be put above all else, no matter how much it hurt them to do so.
Stephan looked at Marcus and asked, “Do you have your cell phone on you?”
“Yeah. You need it?” Marcus dug it out of his pocket and tossed it to Stephan.
He flipped open the phone and punched in the memorized number. After a few rings, a familiar voice picked up.
“Hey Alex, it’s Stephan…Yeah unfortunately it looks like we’re going to need your friend…You’re sure it will be safe? …Thank you, that would be great…tomorrow evening. I’ll arrange to have her brought to the ranch…And Alex, thanks again.”
Marcus said, “So I take it she is going there tomorrow?”
“Yes. Alexander is going to make all the necessary arrangements with his friend for us,” Stephan said solemnly snapping the cell phone shut and tossing it back to his friend.
Marcus easily caught the phone and placed it back into his pocket. “I can’t believe this is happening so soon.”
“I wish it didn’t have to happen at all, but it is for her own good,” Stephan countered. After swallowing the lump in his throat, he continued, “For tonight, I just want to hold her.”
Marcus nodded. “I know what you mean,” he agreed.
“I know you do, my friend. You understand better than anyone else how difficult this decision is. I realize this is hurting you as much as it’s hurting me.”
Marcus nodded his head. “It’s killing me.”
With nothing more to say, the two warriors went their separate ways to retire for the day, Marcus to his room and Stephan up the stairs. They parted in silence, each consumed by their grief at the loss that was to come.
Back upstairs, Stephan grabbed Kat and brought her against him, squeezing her tightly as he realized this would be their last day together. Kat groaned.
“Stephan,” she whispered, pushing back slightly, her hands against his chest. “You’re squishing me.”
Alpha Mine (The Alpha Council Chronicles) Page 22
