oooooooo
Hailey
Tonight was one of the first nights I’ve truly had to relax. It was nice hanging out with the guys, and it was even nicer snuggling up to Jared on the couch when we got home. I invited him in, and we curled up together to watch some TV and snuggle, at least that’s what I told myself. I think we probably would have had sex right there if my Mama hadn’t walked in on us. I’d never been caught before, so I didn’t really know how to react. Jared kissed me goodnight, and I went to bed to dream about what almost was.
Most of break consisted of going over to Jared’s parents’ house or hanging out back with Max as he worked on his car. Our breaks didn’t line up exactly, he went back to school before me by a few days.
ooooooooo
Today is the end of my break and while I’m sad to be leaving home again, I’m ready to get back to my normal schedule. I miss coming and going when I want to, and I miss falling asleep next to the man I’m falling in love with. I never thought I’d say that. I always thought that it would eventually be Max that held my heart, but as I grew up so did my wants. I saw that my friendship was far more important than anything else I could have with him, and I think he saw it too.
Our time together over break proved that we were still best friends. We laughed at each other, and spent several nights just talking into the wee hours of the morning. He told me about school, and how his dad keeps pressuring him to come back home. He seems to like it. I didn’t ask about Melody, but he didn’t talk about her, so I’m thinking that they aren’t together anymore. I don’t know if he’s found someone new. Part of me hopes he has. He deserves to be happy like me.
“You ready?” Jared came this morning to pick me up. We’ve been loading the car, and now he’s just waiting for me to say my goodbyes. This is the last time I’ll see everyone until the summer. Jared and I are going away for spring break this year.
“Almost.” I turned to hug my daddy one last time. “I miss you guys,” I whispered.
“We miss you too, pumpkin.” He wrapped his arms around me one last time as he kissed my cheek. “Call when you get in so we know you got there ok.”
“I will.” I stepped back. “Love you.” I waved one last time before I climbed in the car. When we turned out of the driveway, I turned around to wave one last time before they disappeared from sight.
“I miss my family too.” Jared reached across the console and squeezed my thigh. “I’m glad to be getting back though.”
“Me too.” I sighed. “You think you could stay over tonight?” I smiled at him.
“You don’t ever have to ask me that.” He laughed. “I’d move in if I could. Summer is not that far away, you know?”
“I know. It’s just… everything seems so different every time I come home. It’s like everyone moves on without me,” I mumbled.
“You mean Max.” Jared sighed. It sounded like he was a little annoyed, but I pushed it out of my mind.
“I mean everyone, Max included.” I placed my hand over his. “I love you.” I put as much conviction in it as I could. “I’m looking forward to our spring break getaway.” I grinned.
“Me too.” He grinned back. “I’ve got big plans for that trip.” I didn’t know what plans he was talking about at the time, but when the time came to find out, I was just as shocked as everyone else. Jared’s plans were something I never saw coming.
Chapter 8
Max- age 22
Ever have that moment when you think your life it too perfect? You think nothing could be this good, and you’re just waiting for the bad to come? The weekend after my college graduation had to be that moment for me. I worked my ass off, and it paid off. I landed an accounting job at one of the top companies near school. I would be able to keep my apartment, since I lived off campus, and make the easy transition. My dad wasn’t too happy, but Micah had expressed interest in taking over the farm. As much as I thought the idea would bother me, it didn’t. I never really wanted the farm to begin with, and now I didn’t feel guilty staying away. I wasn’t too far from home; Anson was only a two-hour drive.
I’d been working at my new place for a little over a week, when the first stone was thrown at my glass house. I came home from work in a good mood. I’d finished early, and was planning to go out with some friends for a few beers. I stopped by the mailbox at my complex, and there it was. A large cream colored envelope that was addressed rather formally to Mr. Maxwell Stanton. No one called me Maxwell aside from my grandparents. I flipped it over to look for a return address, but I couldn’t find one. I flipped through the pieces of mail, finding a few bills, and some junk inserts as I walked to my building.
As I climbed the steps to get to my unit, the cream envelope burned a hole in my pocket. Something told me it was important, but a voice deep inside me told me by looking at it I was going to change everything. As I entered my apartment, I tossed my jacket on a nearby chair, placed my keys in a dish near the door, and then absently made my way toward my dining table. I shifted through the mail until the cream envelope was on top. After setting the other pieces aside, I slipped my finger under the large flap to tear it open. Inside was another cream envelope, this one just said ‘Max and guest’. My stomach sank as I opened it. There in fancy script across the front read: Mr. and Mrs. Charley Sullivan request your presence at the marriage of their daughter, Hailey Elizabeth to Mr. Jared Andrew Benton on July 16th, 2013 at four pm. The ceremony will take place at St. Ann’s Church with a reception to follow.
I stood there staring at the words, willing them to change. She was marrying him. How did I not even know they were engaged? I guess this is what happens when you don’t go home often. Someone comes in and takes your place. I stumbled over to the armchair in my living room, and sank down. Visions of Hailey and Jared flashed through my mind. How could she marry him? Did she really love him? I remember the few times I saw them together. She seemed happy, but I never thought he’d be the one.
I reached into my pocket and pulled out my phone. Before I even realized it, my brother was picking up on the other end. “You got the invitation, didn’t you?” Micah sighed through the phone.
“Did you know about this?” I could hear the disbelief in my voice.
“Yes.”
“How did I not know they were even engaged?” I could feel a tightening in my chest, the same feeling I got all those years ago when Hailey told me that Jimmy wanted to sleep with her.
“You’re never here.” Micah seemed so unaffected. “She said almost two years ago they come home for every school break. Last summer they started making plans for this.”
“And you didn’t think to call me?” I barked.
“Why is it my job to tell you things about your best friend? Maybe you should have come home more.”
I opened my mouth to fire back a retort, but he was right. I stayed away because seeing her with someone, someone who was once a good friend of mine, hurt. She had found happiness, and I hadn’t. I’d been too stubborn when we were kids to act on my feelings, and now I was too late. Hailey was going to marry him, and all I could do was watch.
“You know, you could tell her how you feel?” Micah murmured. I’m guessing he wasn’t somewhere private and he was trying to keep our conversation on the downlow.
“No, I can’t,” I growled.
“Yes, you can. They’re not married yet and if you wait too long, it will be too late.”
“I’m not ruining what they have. She loves him. She wants to be with him. I won’t get in the way.” I glanced down to look at the invitation again.
“Are you coming to the wedding?” Micah sounded hopeful.
“I have to. As you said, she’s my best friend,” I grumbled as I thumbed through the rest of the contents in the envelope. There was an RSVP card, and then a small card with directions to the reception. It was then that the universe decided to kick me in balls one more time. “Micah,” I growled low and menacingly.
“You just figured it
out, didn’t you?” He sighed as he twisted the proverbial knife he’d put in my back. “Bro, she asked and I couldn’t very well tell her no. You know Mom and Dad love her like a daughter.”
“Our place? Really?” I scoffed.
“Correction, my place. You don’t live here anymore. She wanted to use the barn. She practically lived here as a kid. Why should I have told her no?” I could hear the disbelief in his voice.
“Because you knew. You knew what this would do to me.” I squeezed the phone tighter in my hand. When I was a kid, I always thought Hailey and I would get married someday. Our parents teased us about it, until we were about eight. As I got older and started seeing her as more than a best friend, I became somewhat afraid of changing our dynamic. Every time I thought about telling her that I wanted more, something would stop me. One of us would be with someone, or something would be going on in our families. When she left for school, I was determined to not hold her back. I wanted to her to go out into the world and decide what she really wanted from it. Apparently, that isn’t me. I haven’t talked to her for any real amount of time since we were both home for Christmas two years ago. We emailed each other, but even those dropped off as she grew closer with Jared. Now, I’m too late. She’s happy, and I would never wreck that.
“I’m sorry,” Micah whispered into the phone. “I know what this feels like.”
“The fuck you do!” I roared. “I love her!”
“Finally!” he shouted, exasperatedly. “You finally admit it. Now do something about it.”
“I gotta go.” I hung up the phone before he could tell me how crazy I was. I would do something. I’d tell her how I felt. I’d tell her I always wanted her, and she just needed to give me a chance. I’d make her see that we were the ones who were supposed to be doing this, not her and Jared.
ooooooooo
Hailey- age 22
“I can’t believe he said yes.” I glanced at the card held tightly between my fingers as I looked up at Mama.
“Why wouldn’t he? You kids have been friends most of your life.” She smiled softly as she made notes in the wedding binder on the table between us. I’d been staying with my parents since graduation while Jared lived in what would be our apartment nearby. I’d be moving in with him after the wedding. We still had two more months of this, but I was ready.
“I just thought…” I trailed off. “I mean, he hasn’t come home in over a year. We used talk at least once a week, and now I can’t even remember the last time I heard his voice. I figured maybe we’d outgrown our friendship.” I stared off into the distance.
“Nonsense.” Mama patted my hand. “Did he happen to list whether he was bringing a guest or not?”
“Nope.” I scanned the card. “Nothing mentioned on here. You think he will?” My heart sank a little. I was happy with Jared, but a small part of me always thought it would be Max standing with me at the altar.
“I don’t know,” she mused. “His parents haven’t said anything to us about him having a girlfriend. I don’t think there’s been anyone serious in a long time.”
“Wonder why,” I murmured.
oooooooo
“What do you think?” I twisted from side to side on the pedestal. We’d come to the bridal shop for my dress fitting. The next time I came here, I’d be able to take it home.
“You looked so pretty.” Mama wiped at her eyes as she tried to hide the tears. It was just the two of us shopping. I’d seen the disasters on all those dress shopping shows where brides brought a huge group of people. In the end, mine and Mama’s opinions were the only ones that mattered.
“Don’t cry, Mama,” I sniffed. “You’re gonna make me cry.” I pressed my lips together.
“Do you think you want to try some veils this time?” The sale clerk smiled beside me. “You need to make a decision soon.”
“Sure. I guess.” I tossed my hands in the air. This was the one thing that Mama and I had disagreed on. I didn’t want a veil, she did. We’d compromised with wearing a veil in the church, and taking it off for the reception.
“I’ll be right back.” The sales girl smiled as she turned and weaved between some racks of dresses in search of the perfect veil.
“You look beautiful.” His voice came from behind me, causing me to jump. “Absolutely beautiful.”
“What are you doing here?” I turned to face Max. I haven’t seen him in over a year, and now he’s standing in front of me. He’s dressed in a pair of jeans and a plaid short sleeved button down. A pair of silver aviators are tucked into the front pocket, and his hair is neatly styled. He doesn’t look like the farm boy I remember, or the grease monkey I saw at Christmas. He’s more polished now, and looks every bit the successful man.
“What, I can’t come see my best friend as she gets ready for her wedding day? Thanks, Hails.” He smirked at me.
“It’s not that,” I whispered as I fisted my hands at my sides. I was itching to touch him, but I didn’t know if I should. “I just didn’t expect you to be here. You haven’t come home in forever.” I smiled as I watched what looked like pain ghost across his face.
“Haven’t really had a reason to,” he mumbled as he moved closer. Before I knew it, his arms were wrapped around me in a giant bear hug. “I missed you, Hails,” he whispered in my ear before he kissed my cheek.
I stiffened in his arms before pulling back. Max had never done that before, and I had no idea what it meant. Before I could decipher it, he released me and moved to take the spot my Mama had been sitting in. Within minutes the sales girl reappeared with several veils, and Mama caught sight of Max. They began a cheerful reunion while I stood there stunned and confused by the whole situation.
Chapter 9
Max- age 22
Today was one of the hardest days of my life. I sat in the back of St. Ann’s Church and watched my best friend marry another man. I was dressed from head to toe in black as if I was mourning something. The truth is, I was. I was mourning my heart. It cracked the day she sent me the invitation, it split a little further when I saw her in her dress, but today… seeing her pledge her love to Jared in front of all of our friends… that completely obliterated it.
I’d tucked a small flask of bourbon into my suit pocket, and had spent most of the prewedding time out front sipping away. I’d thought I could lose myself in the alcohol, and it wouldn’t hurt, but I was wrong. I’d blown my chance, and as Hailey and Jared said their vows, I knew things would never be the same.
“You ok, bro?” Micah lowered himself into the chair beside me. We were back at my parents’ house in the barn. They’d really made the place beautiful for the reception. White lights were twisted across the beams in the roof, large round tables were along the edge with white tablecloths and Mason jars with sunflowers for centerpieces. A small dance floor was on one end with a DJ booth, and a long table ran along the wall which held the food. One of the local restaurants brought a smoker out and roasted a pig. The entire thing was picture perfect, and Hailey was a beautiful bride. The only thing that wasn’t right was the groom.
“It should be me up there,” I mumbled as I lifted my glass and sipped more bourbon.
“You can’t change that now,” Micah gripped my shoulder as I started to stand. “Don’t ruin this for her,” he warned.
“I just want to dance with her.” I stepped around him.
I stumbled slightly as I attempted to get my footing, and make my way over to where Hailey was talking to some guests. She was smiling and waving her arm animatedly. “Can I have a dance?” I smiled at her as I offered my hand.
“Sure.” She grinned as she took it. I led her onto the dance floor, and wrapped an arm around her back. “Thank you for coming, Max. I’m really glad you’re here.” She peered up at me. Her eyes twinkled in the light as one side of her mouth curved up. She looked so young in that moment.
“You’re my best friend, Hails. I could never tell you no.” I spun us and moved into a corner away from most of the crowd
. “Are you sure you’re with the right guy?” I whispered near her ear.
“What are you talking about?” Her head snapped back as she blinked up at me, her feet stalling slightly.
“Jared’s not the guy for you.” The words fell from my lips before I could stop them. My alcohol-soaked brain was addled, and my broken heart was leading the charge. “You made a mistake.” That got her. She froze in my arms as her body went stiff. Before I could react, her palm flew out, smacking me right across the cheek.
“Screw you, Max!” Her eyes blazed as her face reddened. “I don’t know what’s wrong with you, but you need to leave.” She pointed at the door.
“Something wrong?” Jared rushed to her side, and she folded into him. “I think you should go, Max.” He nodded toward the door as Micah appeared beside me.
“I got it.” He sighed as he ushered me outside and away from the party.
I’d like to say that I moved on, found someone else who meant as much to me as Hailey, but that would be a lie. I found others, but they weren’t her. I didn’t just lose the girl I’d fallen in love with that day, I lost my best friend, and it was going to take me years to get her back.
oooooooo
Hailey- age 22
I couldn’t believe he said that. All those years, I wanted him to want me. I wanted him to look at me the way I looked at him, but no. He always kept me in the role of best friend, and now I’m happy. I found happiness with Jared, and that’s when he decides he wants me?
I spent most of the reception replaying my conversation with Max. I don’t know why he waited until then to tell me all of those things. I don’t think he truly wanted me, I think it was more of the fact that he didn’t want anyone else to have me. He made those feelings pretty clear back in high school. No one was ever good enough for me in his eyes. He never stepped up, but every time someone else did, he had plenty to say.
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