Today, Mr. Stanton asked me to stop by in the morning. I don’t know what he wants, but I agreed. When I climbed out of bed today, my stomach rolled. The little bean in there has been terrorizing me. Most days I spend my mornings in the bathroom on my knees in front of the toilet; today wasn’t any different. As I make my drive to the Stantons’ though, my little sleeve of crackers goes with me.
It’s a short drive, and when I pull in Max’s truck is there. I climb out, and shield my eyes from the blinding late summer sun as I make my way to the front porch with my crackers in tow. “Around here!” Jack, Max’s father, calls from the side of the house.
I turn and begin following in his wake as he leads me to the office attached to their barn. When I step inside, I’m soothed by the cool air of the window unit on the wall.
“Thanks for coming.” Jack smiled as he offered me a seat. I’m not showing yet, but I’m tired all the time.
“No problem. What’s up?” I leaned back and nibbled a saltine.
“I wanted to offer you a job.” Jack leaned against the desk in the corner. “Max tells me that you’ve been looking, and I know Jared’s job was supporting you guys. I need the help, and you have the expertise, so it’s a win/win for both of us.”
“What exactly are you wanting me to do?” I glanced around. My degree in AgroSciences wasn’t exactly conducive to being pregnant.
“I want you to manage the stand until the baby comes, and then you can help me with the bigger projects. I know that the heat, and heavy lifting aren’t going to work right now, but they will in the future. Once you give birth, you’ll have Corinne here to watch the baby while you work.”
“You’d do this for me?” Tears welled in my eyes, but I pushed them back.
“You’re like a daughter to us, Hailey. We want to help.” Jack stood. “I don’t need an answer right now; just think about it.”
“Thank you.” I nodded as I sat there still stunned. I mean, I knew they cared about me, but not enough to go out of their way like this. I hadn’t been around much, and Max and I had just reconnected.
“Don’t mention it. I need to get back to this tractor repair I’ve been working on. Give me a call when you decide.” He pushed off the desk as he made his way to the door. Our eyes connected as a silent understanding passed between us. He knew that my renewed friendship with Max was still unstable. He knew that hurt still consumed me. What he didn’t know was the confusion I felt. I loved Jared with all my heart, and if he were still alive, I know that I wouldn’t even be entertaining these ideas, but seeing Max’s sweet side again and remembering the way we used to be has me completely confused. I know I shouldn’t feel like this, and every time I do, I berate myself, but I can’t help but think that Jared would want me to be happy.
oooooooo
“I don’t know what I should do.” I sighed as I sat in my Mama’s kitchen snapping green beans in a giant bowl. I’d come over here after I’d left the Stantons’ to get some motherly advice.
“Well, I don’t know why you’re even thinking that you shouldn’t do this.” Mama glanced over at me. She was cooking jam on the stove, and the entire kitchen smelled like peaches.
“What if there’s some hidden meaning behind all this?” I mused as I tossed another bean in the bowl. “I mean, what if they’re expecting more than what was said?”
“What are you talking about, child?” Mama turned with her hands on her hips and stared me down. I knew this look all too well. This was the look I’d get when she just wanted me to spit out whatever was bothering me so I could get over it. The thing was, it was going to take a lot more than pie to get over what I was dealing with. I think she knew this too, but was trying to get me to talk to her nonetheless.
“What if it was Max’s idea?” I nibbled my lip.
“Ok?” She furrowed her brow. “I’m not seeing what the problem is here.”
“What if Max thinks that me being around means something that it doesn’t? What if he gets upset about that and it ruins everything?” I covered my face with my hands. I sounded like a teenager.
“Wait.” She paused. “Has he said anything to you?”
“No,” I murmured.
“Has he been anything other than a friend to you?” Her head tipped to the side.
“No.” I sighed as I threw a bean hard enough into the bowl that it almost bounced out.
“Hailey.” She moved the pot of peach jam off the stove, wiped her hands on her apron, and moved closer to me. “That entire family loves you. They would do anything to help you. Just like we would do anything. Don’t read so far into it. Max is a grown man now. He understands what you’re going through. I’d like to think that he’s matured over the years.” She smiled as she leaned down and kissed the top of my head just like she used to when I was a little girl. “Sides…you taking that job means I’ll see you more often.” She smiled softly and then moved back to start pouring jam into jars.
“I’m sorry I don’t come around as much, Mama” I grimaced.
“You tell Jack that you’re taking that job, and that I’m watching this baby, not Corinne. You do that, and I’ll forgive ya.” She winked, causing me to laugh lightly. “I miss that.” She smiled.
“What?” I set the bowl of beans that was in my lap, on the table.
“Hearing your laugh. It’s been a long time since you’ve laughed.” Her eyes looked sad and unsure as if reminding me would make me break all over again.
“I’m not as fragile as you think, Mama” I hugged her as I dipped my finger into the jam and then licked it clean.
“Hey.” She swatted at me. “I see some things never change.”
ooooooooo
Max
“So, what did she say?” I glanced up at my father as he came back into the barn. We’d pulled one of the tractors into the main aisle, and I was currently elbow deep in grease.
“She’s thinking about it.” He shrugged as he moved to stand across from me. “How’s this going?”
“You got a bad carburetor.” I sighed. “When’s the last time this thing had a tune-up, Dad?”
“Been a while. I’ve been busy with the stand, and Micah’s been dealing with this day to day stuff. You know, I’m getting old, son?”
“Do not try and guilt trip me on this, Dad.” I glared at him. “If I wanted the farm, I would have taken it when you offered it to me years ago.”
“I just think you and your brother would make a good team, is all.” He shook his head in disappointment.
“I get it, Dad. I didn’t do what you wanted me to do.” I rolled my eyes as I leaned back down and tightened a clamp on a hose. “That should do it. Crank her up,” I called to where Micah was sitting atop the tractor.
Dad and I stepped back as Micah turned the key. After a few sputters and pops, the tractor came to life. “Hey!” Micah fist pumped as if he’d done any of the work. “Sure you don’t want a job here? I could use a good mechanic.”
“I didn’t go to school for four years and get a degree in accounting to come work on tractors for you.” I narrowed my eyes at him. “I’m actually afraid to look at your books.”
“Mama does those for me still.” Micah shrugged.
“Oh geez.” I shook my head. “You need to stop relying on Mom and Dad, and get it together.”
“Says the man who came back home.” Micah cut the engine and jumped down from his perch.
In the corner of my eye I could see my father slowly backing out of the barn. He’s seen Micah and me go at it before, and it seemed he was leaving us alone this time. “I came home because my best friend needed my help.” I turned to face him. He grinned at me, standing there in his clean shirt. I was covered in grease from head to toe, and sweating. My shirt was soaked through, and my jeans were slightly uncomfortable.
“Your best friend, huh? Don’t you mean girlfriend?” His lips curled in a knowing smile.
“It’s not like that,” I murmured.
“Oh, I remember hau
ling your ass out of here when she slapped you for being an idiot at her wedding.”
“Micah?” I warned. Those days were over. Hailey didn’t need a boyfriend. She needed a friend, and I was going to be that friend.
“What?” He continued to smirk at me. “Tell me you don’t still want her.”
“It doesn’t matter what I want,” I growled. “Her husband just died, asshole.” I stormed up to him until our chests brushed together. Micah may be four years younger than me, but we’re equal in size. He may even have me a little in the build. I mean, I go to the gym but I also sit at a desk most of the day. He’s out here doing manual labor, day in and day out.
“You wanna hit me, don’t you?” He snickered.
“I’m not going to hit you. Just drop it, ok?” I turned to walk away, running my hand through my sweaty hair at the same time.
“You know I’m right!” he called out, causing me to stumble to a stop. I was better than this. I didn’t need to prove anything, but something about my little brother calling me out made me want to deck him.
I turned around, bull rushed him and tackled him to the ground, causing him to land right in a pile of compost. When he figured out where he was, he thrashed to get up as I pinned him down. “Let me up, asshole!” He squirmed.
“You may be as big as me, but I’ll always be the bigger brother.” I chuckled. “You need to go shower now, pretty boy. Your nice clean clothes have dirt on them and you stink too.” I laughed as I stood, and let him up.
He brushed himself off, and as he walked away, he had to get in one last shot. “I won’t tell her.” He paused as he glanced over his shoulder.
“What’s that?” I grumbled.
“That you’re still in love with her.” He winked and then began to jog toward the outdoor shower.
Did my brother know me better than I knew myself?
Chapter 14
Max
It’s been three months since I came home. Things have been odd to say the least. Not with work; work has been great. It’s the other stuff that’s been confusing as hell. Hailey took the job, and seeing her every day has been painful. I told myself when all of this started that I could be the friend she needed. If you’ve ever been in a situation like mine, you know that’s a lie. She’s everything I ever wanted, and then some, but I was too stupid to do anything about it back when I could. Now, it’s too late. I want her to be happy though, and it seems that time is doing that for her. She seems to be happy most of time, and if loving her from afar is all I ever get, then I’ll have to be ok with that.
This weekend is the town pumpkin festival. I took a few days off to help my dad. We’ve never grown a pumpkin patch in the past, but this year Micah decided that we should try. Lo and behold, he’s actually good at it. We had enough pumpkins that we added them to the stand, and I’ve been helping since Hailey can’t lift them.
Hailey… today seems to be one of the good days. She’s been smiling since she got here, and as I watch her talk to customers, I can see how natural she is with this.
“Can you carry that out for Mrs. Foster?” She motions to a giant pumpkin sitting on the ground by our display. I’ve been wondering when it would sell.
“No problem.” I nodded at her as I made my way over, and hoisted it up on my shoulder. I followed Jan out to her car, and loaded the pumpkin into the trunk. “Have a good day.” I waved as I made my way back inside the stand.
Our stand has grown over the years. When I was in high school, it was a little more than a wagon sitting in the yard by the road. Now, we have a building. It’s wooden, and about the size of two small bedrooms. It’s framed out, and has a tin roof. There’s no door, just an opening, and a few small windows placed sporadically around to let a breeze through. Every night, I have to come out here and move the goods to the barn, and Hailey counts the drawer. In the winter, we sell wreaths and if it gets as cold as I think it will, I’m going to have to look into a way to heat this place. She can’t be sitting out here in the cold while pregnant.
When I made my way back inside, Hailey was standing up stretching. “You ok?” I moved a little faster than I should have, and she stared at me wide-eyed.
“I’m fine. Just a little back pain.” She grimaced as she rubbed her lower back.
“You don’t look fine.” I stepped closer as I watched her dig her fingers into the muscle. “Let me help.” I stepped around the counter, and stood behind her. “Right here?” I rubbed small circles on her lower back.
“Yes. Harder.” She groaned. I can’t tell you how many times I fantasized about hearing those words come out of her mouth when she was talking to me, but it didn’t even register at the moment. As I pressed harder, she bent forward, and grabbed onto the counter. “Something’s wrong.” she whimpered.
“What? What’s wrong?” I started to panic. I didn’t know anything about human babies. I’d helped deliver calves before, but with an animal you rarely had to do any of the work. Most of the time nature did it for you.
“I don’t know. Normally these pains go away, but this time it’s not.” She whimpered again. “It’s getting worse.”
“Ok, stay calm. Let me call Micah and tell him we need to go.” I pulled my cell from my pocket, and motioned for Hailey to sit down. “Hey. I gotta go. You need you to come down here and cover for us.” Micah started in with his questions; the guy never took me for face value. He always thought I had an agenda. Most of the time I did, but not today. “I gotta take Hailey to the hospital.” I hung up, not waiting for him to answer, and then turned to where she was now gripping her small baby bump. “I’m gonna get the car. Stay put!” I wagged my finger at her as she turned her face up to mine.
It was then that I saw the fear. She was scared, and I was the only one who seemed to be able to hold her together. I rushed out of the stand, and took off in a sprint towards my truck. I’d parked it in my parents’ driveway when I arrived. After climbing in, I weaved through the parked cars and patrons as I attempted to get as close as I could to the door. When I climbed out, Micah came rushing down the grassy path that led from the barn. He leaned over, and put his hands on his knees for a few seconds before he glanced up at me.
“What are you doing?” He squinted at me. “Take her to the hospital.”
“I was waiting for you!” I barked at him as I shook my head, and rushed inside to see Hailey attempting to stand. Her eyes were filled with unshed tears as she rubbed her belly.
“I can’t lose this baby, Max.” She panted. “I can’t. It’ll destroy me.” Her lip quivered. I knew what she meant. This was the last physical piece she had of Jared.
“You won’t. I’m gonna make sure of it.” I wrapped my arm around her back, and started helping her out to my truck. When she let out another groan and started to double over, I reached behind her legs and lifted her into my arms. “I’m gonna do everything I can to help you. I promised you that. Just trust me.” I rushed to my truck, and Micah opened the door just in time for me to set Hailey on the passenger seat. As he helped buckle her in, I ran around to the driver’s side, and climbed in.
It didn’t take long to get to the hospital, at least it seemed that way. I was probably breaking the sound barrier with the speed I was going. I came to a screeching halt at the emergency door, and tore inside for a wheelchair. Once I garnered a nurse’s attention, we got in and seen almost immediately.
ooooooooo
Hailey
Today is not going how it was supposed to go. I woke up this morning feeling happy. I know that sounds like something so minor, but when you’ve suffered a tragedy like I have, happy is a huge accomplishment. The annual pumpkin festival is this weekend, and the Stantons’ Farm Stand has been busier than ever. This is the first year that they’ve sold pumpkins, but with their low prices and family friendly atmosphere, they’ve attracted quite the crowd. I even bought a cute shirt to wear.
When I got dressed this morning, I smiled at my reflection in the mirror. I was starting to
do that more and more— smile. When I found the pumpkin shirt in the local maternity store, I knew I had to have it. It was orange, and right where my little bump was sticking out was a black jack-o-lantern face. It was a good choice because I’ve gotten lots of compliments.
The weather is slowly cooling off, and when you’re not in the sun you need a jacket. Not me though, I’ve already started feeling the effects of pregnancy. I’m hot all the time. I mean All.The.Time.
“You’re going to be fine.” Max smiled down at me. A nurse was wheeling me into the emergency room and Max rushed right along beside me holding my hand and reassuring me.
“I can’t lose this baby.” I’d been holding back tears since we left, but the longer the pain went on, the harder it was. This was Jared’s child. This was all I had left. This baby had to be ok. I didn’t even know if it was a boy or a girl yet.
“Let’s get you in a gown and on a monitor,” the nurse offered a sympathetic smile. “Can you step out for a just a moment, Dad?” The nurse glanced at Max.
“I’m not the father, just a friend.” He backed up toward the door. “I’ll be right outside. Call me if you need me, Hails.” I watched as he disappeared behind the curtain.
As the nurse helped me change, the pains seemed to lessen slightly. She strapped the monitor onto my lower belly, and the room filled with a whooshing sound. “Your baby has a strong heartbeat.” She smiled at me as she pulled the curtains up.
“That’s good, right?” I turned panicked eyes on her.
“The doctor will be right in.” She patted my thigh before turning to leave. As she stepped out, Max stepped back in. Right on his heels was a woman in scrubs.
“I’m Dr. Adams.” She smiled as she looked at the tape running out of the monitor. “It seems things are slowing down, but I’ll like to keep you here for a while just to make sure.”
“Ok.” I sighed. “Why did this happen?”
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