by Krys Janae
It was then that the threshold was crossed, and for Ray, it meant no turning back. He sobbed, louder than she’d ever witnessed. She wouldn’t judge him, though. She’d already been through so much, and he the same. It was necessary for him to let it all out. It was clear Ray had been overworked from the start; he dove into the Family Insurance casting right off of his gig in Toronto and didn’t have any time to sleep. Between the kids, spending time with his husband, the premiere, coordinating meetings and other things, playing referee at Alex and John’s bachelor parties … it was a wonder he was still living and breathing. The worst Alisa had done was smoke a cigarette with him to calm her own nerves, and that was weeks ago.
As uncharacteristic as that was, Alisa knew that probably didn’t help his case either. His heart was already weakened, and when he collapsed, it gave everyone a scare.
She leaned down and pressed her lips to his forehead. “Please rest, sweetie.”
***
It was Alisa’s shift at the hospital. Ray had already been in for a week and was due to be released in a couple of days. David was back at home with the kids, Dawn and Jean were running errands for David, and Alex and John were going to take the next shift. She spent some time in the cafeteria with her laptop, communicating with her editor about her book submission and answering numerous emails for work, which helped pass the time. When she finished up, she parked it outside of Ray’s room while he was sleeping then tucked herself into her hoodie in the hopes of taking a nap.
She must have dozed off for a bit. When she woke up, there was someone sitting beside her.
“Morning, sleeping beauty.”
“Evan, hey.” Alisa was surprised to see him there and not Alex.
“Ron filled me in on what’s happening. I hope it’s all right I came by. Figured you might need company, and this.” Evan presented her with coffee, and she gratefully accepted it.
“I was thinking we could go get some food? I think you need your energy restored before the next scene we gotta film. I got the script …”
“Evan.”
“…it’s the last one we have before the mid-season finale, and—”
“Evan.” She said again, firmly this time.
“Hmm?” Evan’s baby blues swung over to her when he heard his name.
“I told David I’d stay here until Alex and John show up. Someone has to be here if Ray needs them. I’ll read later.”
While Evan understood the importance of her task, he didn’t look satisfied. “Come on, Lis. You need to get out of here for a bit. You can’t stay cooped up in the hospital all day. Ray’s stable, and you know he wouldn’t want you being cooped up in here either.”
“Is that really why you want to get me out of here?”
“Excuse me?”
Before she knew it, Alisa had unleashed words she’d been thinking for a long time, ones she’d never thought she’d actually say. Her assumptions weren’t too far off, she imagined, because every word she spoke looked like it stung. “I get the need to get me up and running, to get me laughing and entertained so I don’t end up like some coke-ball entertainer who needs rehab or something. Look, the wounds are still fresh, Evan. My friend is laid up here, and I promised to keep watch. I’m sure you haven’t missed the fact that I just left my husband, and I can’t just dive back into the dating world after a week. I mean, we’re still technically married. I can’t just go out and—”
“What, be seen with me? Are you embarrassed or something?” His tone sounded playful; his look was anything but. “Give me some credit, Alisa. I’ve pretty much respected your marriage since I met you. If you didn’t want to grab a bite to eat and discuss work, all you had to do was say so. Don’t act like I’ve got the plague, though. If you’re ashamed of me, just say it.”
The whole situation was embarrassing, though it had little to do with Evan. Still, she was slightly appalled by his attitude and was not about to tolerate his selfishness at this time. Also, what was it about men on the defensive with her lately? She sat up.
“Evan, I don’t think I can make this round to New York, at least not now. I know it’s a two week run. Right now, Ray needs me here to help with everything, but I should be able to get out there next week. Maybe hop a red eye as soon as I can?”
He was watching her closely as she spoke, smiling over at her.
“What?” She arched an eyebrow.
Evan kissed her. Square on the lips with his finger under her chin. This time it wasn’t predetermined. She could tell it was a spur of the moment decision. It was different from his on-screen kiss as Aaron and Theresa, and it was very different from New York. It was brave, she gave him that, but no matter how much she wanted to give into it, she refused. Alisa knew better, or at least, she thought she did. She couldn’t fall into that media trap, and she didn’t want to give in to her vulnerability. It was dangerous, and there were so many red flags flying in her head.
Alisa pulled away. “I’m sorry, Evan. I just can’t …”
“Alisa …”
“Evan, please. There’s so much shit hitting the fan right now, for lack of a better description. My friend almost died, my life is a mess, and I am being pulled in every direction right now. My heart is not … it’s not in the right place. I can’t do this right now.”
“This?”
Gesturing with her hand, Alisa signaled between the two of them. “I’m still married. I can’t just run off with you into the sunset like nothing is wrong with any of this.”
“Hmm.” He huffed, standing up. Evan seemed exasperated as he wiped his face with his palm.
“I’m sorry.”
“Stop apologizing.”
“What do you want from me, Evan?”
For a moment, he lingered, looking at her with those piercing baby blues. Finally, he nodded. “One of these days you’ll realize that you need to let yourself be happy.” He turned and left. There was nothing else to it; he was gone.
Evan had left her speechless. Looking down the long, pale hallway at the back of the man who just took his leave, she felt her phone vibrating in her pocket. It was Logan. He’d called her twice before that, but she’d ignored it on accident. She hadn’t heard her phone ringing. This time, she ignored it on purpose. She took a seat and started to dwell on what just went down a few moments ago with Evan.
“Unbelievable.” Alisa whispered to herself, leaning her head back against the wall.
Another call came through, and before she could ignore it, Alisa caught sight of the caller ID photo on her phone. It wasn’t Logan’s. She reluctantly swiped to answer.
“Joann?”
“Okay, took you long enough to answer. What is going on? Is Ray all right?” Joann sounded slightly panicked.
“Sorry, yeah, he’s resting now. Should be out soon. The doctor says he’s going to be okay; he just needs to take it easy.”
“Oh, thank God.” Joann breathed a sigh of relief.
“I know.”
“Well, listen, have you checked Facebook recently? Twitter?”
Alisa rolled her eyes. She wanted to stay as far away from that as she could, considering everything going on. “Come on, Jo, you’re more into that than I am, remember? I would rather not—”
“No, you really need to see this.”
“Please just tell me what’s going on?” Alisa leaned back, resting her head against the wall behind the bench.
“I think you need to see it for yourself.”
“Joann.” She barked.
There was a huff on the other end. Joann must have been pouting again. “Lis, it’s…it’s about Kirsten.”
Alisa’s eyes rolled at the sound of the name. She was so tired of seeing and hearing it. “Yeah, what about her?”
“Are you sitting down?”
“Joann!” Alisa snapped at her friend.
“Lis, she’s pregnant.”
The room should have been spinning but instead, it remained still. Everything went still when Joann dropped
the bomb. It was at that moment Alisa decided the hospital was a good enough hiding spot as any. She wanted to hide for as long as possible.
Epilogue
“Hair and makeup!”
“We will have that ready for you tomorrow.”
“Everything in wardrobe?”
“Let’s get going, guys. Tomorrow is go time!”
The hustle and bustle of the set was a whirlwind around her; Alisa watched as the lights were set up on the stage. The crew on hair, makeup, and wardrobe were running from place to place making sure the actors were ready for their scenes. The director hadn’t taken his place yet, but his right hand person was already in place, going over her notes in the assistant’s chair.
“Here’s your coffee, Mrs. Rider.” A voice called from her left.
“Thank you so much.” Alisa took the cup gratefully, and it warmed her up. Mid-January had snuck up on everyone, and it was still very chilly in New York City. “I’m going to run upstairs for a little while.”
She was thankful that the set wasn’t too far from her hotel. It was just a block or so down, at least for the parts they were currently shooting, but some of the other stages were also nearby. The movie was being filmed mostly in Canada, but they wanted to get the New York scenes out of the way first. Alisa was not complaining, though she hadn’t spent this much time away from Los Angeles since she’d moved there.
“All right, but if you’re not out by four thirty…” One of the production assistants was pointing her pen at Alisa with a suspicious eye.
“I’ll be here.” Alisa responded as she looked at her phone. It was three. “I’m just running up for a bit. Going to catch up on some emails and whatnot. I’ll be here.”
Taking the stairs, she found herself upstairs and in her room in an instant. All Alisa really wanted to do was splash cold water on her face to wake up. She had been running on approximately ten hours of sleep in the course of the last five days, since production was just now starting to roll. She’d been more involved with this movie than she had with the first. The work was taxing, and the exhaustion was setting in.
She used moisturizer after drying her face with a towel and heard a knock at the door.
“Surprise.” John was standing there with a vase filled with beautiful white lilies in his hand. The arrangement was gorgeous, and the vase was also her favorite color which made it all the more attractive to her.
“John!” She pulled her friend into a tight hug, careful not to smash the flowers. “Please, it’s only been a month. Did you miss me that much?”
“Very funny. Though, the house is a little quieter without you.”
“Ha ha.” She gestured for him to enter and eyed the flowers. “You really shouldn’t have.”
“Aw, honey, you know I love you, but they’re not from me.”
Alisa narrowed her eyes. “What?”
John nodded, “Front desk said they were sent for you. I was on my way up, so I figured I would bring them to you. They’re gorgeous.”
“Yeah, there’s a card. Check it out.” John gestured at it as she took the vase from his hands and set the fresh bouquet on the table.
“What are you doing here, anyway?” She asked.
“Rude.”
Alisa laughed, “You know what I mean.”
He shrugged and took his coat off, hanging it properly over the hook by the door. “You’re going to need an assistant, aren’t you?”
“Assistant? Wait, isn’t the wedding …”
John also had a bottle of red wine tucked under his arm, and he promptly went for his keychain to open it up. “Well, after Ray got sick and we were getting settled into the house and helping David, Alex and I decided to move it to this summer, giving us time to plan it a little better. It’ll give everyone a little more time too. Alex can go nuts with the planning, Ray can get better, and you can knock out at least two of your projects and slow down.”
Alisa hugged her friend again. “Sweetie, that was nice of you to do that, especially David and Ray.”
“Ray needs the rest, and I think Alex really wanted to move it back too. No cold feet or anything, just budgeting, timing, and planning. I hope by the time this movie is done, you better be ready to get your ass in gear as our planner. Be warned, Alex is quite a bridezilla already.”
“I’ll be ready.” She poked him in the side, “Welcome back, Mr. Damien.”
John groaned, “Enough of that.”
“Aren’t you writing a new movie?” Alisa cut the tie wrapped around the stems and started to separate and spread out the flowers. She continued to shift them until something fell and landed face up on the table.
“Yeah, I figured I could slip in some writing time when we’re not running around. Maybe if we’re lucky I can get this filmed this year?”
Alisa laughed, “We’ll see. From now until the movie is done, you’re mine.”
He laughed, “Yeah, yeah.”
“Well, then after that you better be on a honeymoon and not working.”
“Coming from Miss ‘writes in the shower’?” John laughed. “Okay, okay, excuse me, I’ll write here when I’m not running around getting you coffee.” He snickered.
“Great.” She replied.
There was indeed a card with the flowers. It was handwritten, though she barely recognized the scrawl on the envelope. She took after her dad when it came to opening envelopes; Alisa liked to make sure the card itself wasn’t damaged in the process of opening it, so she carefully tore through it and retrieved the note.
Remember to let your hair down every once in a while, all right?
Looking forward to this movie.
Next time we’ll get some breakfast, my treat.
Que sera, sera.
-“Gordon”
“Well? You just going to leave me hanging?” John called to her from the other room. He was already prepped with two glasses of red wine in his hands.
Mystery solved. Alisa knew exactly who’d sent them.
“Don’t you dare ignore me…” John’s voice lowered into muffled chatter as he continued on, trying to get her attention.
The flowers were beautiful. She tucked the card into the book she’d been reading that was now sitting beside the vase.
Que sera, sera. Alisa thought to herself. That saying wasn’t that bad after all.
She smiled.
