by Lucee Joie
“I still hurt but it is a different feeling,” I finally say. “I feel like I am getting better, as if I might survive. And, it’s all thanks to you.”
I want to reach out, to touch her face, which is hanging close to mine. I can see concern etched in her furrowed brow and want to smooth away her anxiety. Plus, her skin fascinates me. I want to run my fingers across the warmth of her, to see how differently she feels to my own skin. Her coloring is different, a warmer glow of peach than our green hue will ever be and she tends to redden quickly. Whereas, our own skin is more even, more tempered, less likely to color except when we are deprived of natural light, such as when we are onboard spacecraft for any length of time and we bleach out to a sickly grey color.
There also appears to be a different texture going on with Danika’s skin. I imagine that her skin will be softer as opposed to the density of my own. There is less shine as well, and I wonder how that will feel under my fingertips. My mind wanders and I wonder about the other differences that human women might have compared to my own kind.
Already, I know that they only have two breasts, unlike Brux women, who have three and I wonder how hers would feel under my touch. Are they as soft as how I think her skin might be? My thoughts go lower still and I wonder about what she is like without any clothes on at all. I know, from evidence of the Galactic Union breeding program that they likely have the same sort of appendages as both the Ochek and my own kind. However, I find myself desperate to discover just what she looks like fully naked. Does she have tight curls down there? A springy mat of hair like my own kind. Or, perhaps she is nude like the Urlin are supposed to be.
Glancing up, I see that Danika is watching me, her face now further away from my own. I wonder if she has read my thoughts in my facial expression and feel ashamed that I am having such wanton feelings when all this woman is here to do is to heal me.
She has taken her own abundant kindness and offered to assist when she really didn’t have to. I wonder about how she has suffered under the control of the Union. I dread to think about what brute she had been assigned and just how thoroughly he used her. No, I need to temper my desire because there is certainly some attraction going on. Well, at least from my side, Danika’s thoughts are closed and I can’t tell what she thinks of me. Instead, I need to sympathize with her, allow her to understand that I will not take advantage of her, even if I desperately want to. Oh, how I want to join with her, to feel our skin melded together as we make love…
I try to distract myself once more.
“Have you traveled here before?”
It is a stupid question. Of course, she hasn’t been anywhere. The Ochek are not so partial to allowing their captives to see the universe. Although, there is a small group that travels with their human breeders. Perhaps, she has been here before, after all. Although, she doesn’t seem the type that usually gets to travel here. Mostly, they are arrogant women, the exact type that suits the Ochek, themselves an arrogant breed. Those who do travel here on vacation are those that are completely controlled by the Ochek, even in spite of their arrogance. Danika doesn’t seem that type at all. She is quiet, so completely reserved, that I can’t imagine an Ochek ever being enamored by her. Of course, she hasn’t been here before. And, that thought makes me sad. I want to be well enough to show her the sights, to let her see that not all aliens are brutes.
In fact, I want to woo this woman.
“I have never been anywhere except my home planet and the Leonida,” Danika finally replies and I see the sadness in her eyes. She gets a faraway look, as though remembering something that she wishes were still real.
“When I am well, I want to show you around here,” I reply. “There are heat pools that are amazing.”
“I would like that,” she replies as she reaches out to touch my forehead. She does this regularly as she fusses over me and I am used to it. In fact, I relish every time it occurs. For the briefest of moments, I get to feel the heat of her skin against my own. “However, I am not sure how long I will be here. My group will be back as soon as they can and then, I guess, I will return with them.”
She grimaces and I can’t help but reach up to smooth away her tension. I hear a small, sharp intake of breath and immediately take my hand away, worried that I have scared her.
“Sorry,” I mumble.
“It’s okay, you just startled me is all.”
“I will never hurt you.” I bear my soul with this statement, wanting her to believe me. However, I suspect that I have a lot of work to do to finally prove to her that not all alien species are out to hurt her.
I hope that I have enough time to prove it.
Chapter Five: Danika
I take a closer look at Bivir. His features are strange to me. Although, at the same time, somewhat human. Besides the color of his skin and the strange antenna on his head, the rest of him is all male.
I stop myself from thinking any further about how his muscles ripple when he stretches out to take the glass of water from my hand. His skin has a strange sheen that human skin doesn’t and I ache to feel it, to rub my thumb over the luminosity of it.
I got to feel it quite a bit when I was doing my minor surgery on him. However, I was preoccupied as I cut and stitched. His life had hung in the balance then and my priorities were elsewhere. But there was a moment when I did pause briefly, to touch his skin and revel in the strange sensation.
Once more, I block myself from dwelling on Bivir.
Beth may have fallen for her breeder, and Shirley may be well on the way there as well, but I was not going to submit. I had been forced here, against my will. My breeder had been a monster, using fists for fun and I will not forget it.
Aliens were cruel. They were not like us and I was not going to fall for one.
Even if Bivir is entirely different from what I have encountered before. Even if he was kind and treated me with complete reverence. Marir had explained the term, Magni, that he always used on me. Not only was it the term for a celestial being but a sign of respect. To call someone a Magni was never done lightly.
Still, I was not prepared to open my heart to this creature and to submit willingly after how I had ended up here. Nothing could erase the fact that I could never return to Earth, that my fiancé was a distant memory and my future was stranger than any fiction I could ever read.
No, to find love out of all this was not on my agenda. I may instinctively want to help those who are injured but it didn’t mean that I was soft on the inside. My abduction had changed all of that. It has frozen my heart and locked my sentimentality away deep inside and I am not even sure I have a key for it anymore.
I scoff at myself. I was thinking about love when all I was here for was to heal Bivir and to help forge an alliance so that other women did not suffer the same fate as I had. Love was not on the cards. Peter had been my one true love and I wasn’t prepared to open my heart merely to have it broken again.
“What are you thinking?” Bivir asks and I am startled by the low sound of his voice.
“Just, my past life,” I say, not entirely lying.
“Tell me what your planet is like. Do you have advanced technology or is it more like Bruxland?”
I cock my head a moment, my hands instinctively smoothing out the sheet to distract myself while I ponder the question. My fingers accidentally brush against Bivir’s and I flinch slightly before guiding myself away from his touch, hoping he doesn’t notice my initial reaction.
“I guess Earth falls somewhere in the middle. We are not as advanced technologically as, say, what is on board the Leonida or Prennia. However, we have cars and trains and other modes of transport unlike here. I can’t believe you don’t have anything like that.”
“We prefer a simpler life,” Bivir says and he and reaches out to touch my hand. I watch as he traces a line along my index finger, my breath held lest it should spoil the moment. I glance briefly at his face and can see the wonder there. To him, my skin is probably just as inte
resting a texture as his is to me.
“There are people like that where I’m from,” I finally say, my words cutting through the air and severing the moment. Even still, Bivir continues to rest his hand on mine and I try to ignore the warmth growing between our touch.
Perhaps he is just exhausted. He still has a lot of healing to do, after all. The warmth that is starting in my chest has nothing to do with anything, I try to justify.
“Some people go ‘off-grid’ in order to have a simpler life. I have never tried it, though. When you work as a nurse, you realize just how important technology is in order to fix people…” My voice trails off as I realize what I have said. “Oh, I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean to be insensitive.”
“Never mind,” Bivir replies. His fingers enclose mine, and he gently squeezes my hand. “We used to have access to services that would help the injured. We even had some hospitals that were high tech. However, the Union took all of that away. It’s not our choice anymore.”
I smile weakly at him. My eyes tear up at the idea that the Union could be so completely insensitive to an entire race regarding their health. It amazes me just how ruthless some people can be.
I think of Ece, and of how he appears to have broken free from his father’s clutches, from his spiteful control that sees people like Bivir, a man who truly cares about those around him, have to suffer in such a manner. I wonder if he has truly parted ways with his father. To me, Ece and, in particular, Horgeer, appear to be the exceptions to the rules when it comes to the Ochek. Many of the women I had contact with once I was placed in the women’s cells told stories of their breeders that were more akin to my experience with the race.
The caravan rocks gently from side to side and I feel my eyes drooping from the rhythmic motion. It was only mid-morning but I feel like I could curl up and go to sleep.
“Can I open the curtain?” I ask, merely to stop myself from drowsing off. “Or, are you still sensitive to light?”
“I guess there is only one way to find out, huh?” Bivir replies and my lips quirk up into a smile.
Reaching forward, I lean over Bivir and tug at the curtain ties. Sunlight streams in as soon as I do so. He flinches, covering his eyes as he does so and I drop the curtain back.
“No, give it a moment,” he says and I tug at the curtain once more. I do it slowly this time and watch Bivir closely as I do so. He squints at first but, eventually, his brow smooths out and he opens his eyes fully. Finally, he sits back, relaxing into the cushions once more.
“Your hair is so strange,” Bivir says and I sit back quickly. I hadn’t noticed it blanketing him as I leaned over.
“Sorry,” I say, raking my hair up and twisting it quickly into a bun.
“No, leave it down, it’s lovely.”
I pause in what I am doing and smile weakly at Bivir. Grabbing the hair tie between my teeth, I quickly flip it off my wrist and finish tying the bun. Bivir frowns out his answer.
“I have never felt hair so soft,” he finally says.
His kind has springy hair. Well, the women do anyway. The males of his kind on this planet all seem to have dreadlocks and I wonder if that is a way of dealing with what looks to be constantly errant hair. Onboard the Leonida, they preferred to deal with it differently. All of the Brux there had their heads shaved. However, I much preferred Bivir’s dreadlocks over that style.
I have no reply for what is obviously a compliment, so I turn my head and gaze outside. My eyes have adjusted to the brightness and I can see the distinct blue-leaved trees outside.
When I first arrived on Bruxland, the landscape had been broad open plains surrounding the town to which Bivir was confined. I could see the strange trees off to the distance but now they were closer, closing in on us and I felt comforted by that for some strange reason.
I had never been a country girl. Instead, I was raised in suburbia and moved to the city as soon as I could. I liked the bright lights and the clutter of closely confined spaces. But, mostly, I liked the anonymity of city living. I could go days without talking to anyone unless I was at work, and I liked that immensely. People were overrated, in my honest opinion.
However, here, it was lovely. I could see the attraction of getting away from it all. There was no constant hum of cars or chatter of people. Instead, all I heard was the clomp of footfalls from the Urqos and the occasional call of distant animals. The faraway wind whipped up, creating a hum of what sounded like the ocean through the treetops as we headed towards the base of the mountain range.
“How long until we get to Fakkat?” I ask my gaze still firmly on the landscape. Not because I was hesitant to look at Bivir, to turn to more personal talk but because I was riveted by the alien landscape. I wanted to open all of the curtains so that we would get a broader view but knew I also needed to think of Bivir and what he needed.
“We should reach it by nightfall.”
This news made me happy. I could literally just watch the world go. I had always been an overachiever and never had much time for stillness. Instead, I always hurried everywhere, through life, through my degree, through my day-to-day activities. This was the first time in my life that I remember looking forward to just sitting, of stopping and enjoying what is around me. I was never even a fan of sitting still long enough in order tong enough in order to binge-watch television. So, the sensation was strange and filled me with wonder.
“It is so beautiful out here,” I whisper before turning to Bivir. “It must have been wonderful growing up here as a child.”
“It was. Until my parents got taken away into servitude, at least.”
I frown at the notion. “The Galactic Union are a bunch of cunts.”
I cover my mouth as soon as I say it. On Earth, I am known for my potty mouth but it has been some time since I have really let one rip since being onboard the Leonida. There was no point, no one was listening to me anyway.
Bivir frowns at my action and I realize that he probably has no idea that I just swore.
“What is ‘cunts?’” he says and I laugh at him.
“It is a swear word, a bad one,” I say with a smirk. “It is a word for the female anatomy, but it is used in a derogatory manner.”
Bivir nods at me but I can see the confusion there.
“Yeah, I don’t get it either.”
Chapter Six: Bivir
I sit up, wanting to stretch, feeling like it has been an age since I have been capable of the action. Slowly, I reach my arms up and the sheet falls back, baring my chest. I look down at the bandages and for the first time in some while, there is no blood seeping through. I smile at the small miracle.
Looking up, I catch Danika gazing at my chest and smirk. I swell at the thought that she might find me attractive. Scratching at the bandages, I wonder when they will be removed so that I can see the full extent of what Emperor Thahars did to me.
Marir pops her head through the door. She beams at me before jumping up inside the caravan.
Danika moves to one side as Marir squeezes in between us. Already, I am missing her closeness and wish that we were still traveling and that I could curl up with Danika and watch the countryside pass. Instead, we have arrived at Fakkat and the bustle of people greets my ears rather than the solitude of the open road.
“How are you feeling?” Marir asks.
“Much better, Danika is a wonderful Magni.” I smile at Danika but she is organizing her bag of medical supplies.
“What’s your opinion?” Marir asks as she turns towards Danika.
“Bivir is very lucky,” she says. “The infection is responding to the medicine but I will not be happy until we have a further supply. The last thing I want is for the infection return.”
Marir hands Danika a bag.
“Lucky I have already grabbed more medicine for you then.” Danika beams her response. “Tents are being set up and food is being heated for dinner. You can join us when you are ready.”
“What about radio contact?” Danika as
ks. “I need to speak to my people.”
“That has been organized, also.”
She scampers out of the caravan and I smile as she leaves. Marir is always efficient, quick to voice her opinion, quick to move onto the next thing that needs organizing.
“Do you need help getting out?” Danika asks and I shake my head.
Grunting, I pull a shirt over my head and wince as the action pulls at my stitches. I hiss through the pain as white light shoots across my vision, causing me to stop what I am doing.
“Actually, yes.” I finally concede and Danika rushes to my side and helps me finish my task.
“Do we need the stretcher again?” she asks
“No, I think I can manage.” That is my pride talking.
“Let me climb out, maybe I can help you from there?”
She is out the door before I can respond and I crawl across the small space. Each movement pulls at my wound and I feel the dull ache of sliced tissue deep inside. I huff as I reach the opening and pause to catch my breath. I hate being this incapacitated.
Danika reaches in, her arms imploring and I find the energy to keep going. I start to crawl again and swing my legs around once I am at the door. It is a slow process and Danika is ever patient until I am seated on the edge.
Luckily Urqos are not tall beasts, so there are only a few steps down a makeshift ladder to reach the bottom. My body complains, though, and I have to stop more often during the process than I like to admit.
Danika wraps her arms around my waist as soon as she has access and offers support. I don’t want to lean too much on her, though. She is so tiny, so petite, that I figure she won’t offer much by way of help. However, once I am standing, I realize that I am much weaker than I first thought and finally give in.
Gently, I lean into her and her arms tighten around my waist. I close my eyes briefly as sweat prickles. Opening them again, dizziness threatens and Danika stands still while I compose myself, while the black holes in my vision threaten to take me out.
