Tears fell onto my paper, and I leaned back in my chair and clutched my ring, curling my arms around my body. I gazed down at the paper, then at the journal, re-reading the damn prophecy about the Unholy Trinity. On top of everything, I had to worry about the three strongest demons in Hell rising up and starting a war with the Heavens.
Shit was too much. I needed a damn release. Another soul. Not another soul. Someone to devour, someone like Eros. No, not Eros.
After closing my eyes and shaking my head, I heard the office door open. I expected to see Eros walk in and save me. But when I opened my eyes, I saw my worst nightmare walk through the door with a smirk on his lips and wrath blazing in his maroon eyes.
Javier.
My eyes widened at him, and I shook my head, unable to believe that he was real. He closed the door behind him and sauntered into the room, his taut chest bare, a mere sheet hanging off his hips.
Big, thick horns. Swollen muscles. Lips that would’ve melted me, if I didn’t know better. I stood, listening to my chair roll and hit the wall behind me, and dug my claws straight through the pages of Dad’s journal. What the hell was this?
“What’s wrong, Dani?” he asked, stepping toward me. He smelt like peppermint, that alluring scent of peppermint that I had inhaled the day I killed him. And when I looked into his eyes, I felt that same surge of power. It rushed into me, consumed me, became me.
“Is it too much for you?” He drew his finger against my desk and walked all the way around it until he stood directly in front of me. His lips parted, fingers so close to mine. “All you have to do is surrender all your power to me and we can rule all the kingdoms in Hell.”
I swallowed hard. “No.” I pressed my hands to my ears. “You’re not real. You’re not fucking real.” I shook my head from side to side, my brown hair whipping into my face.
He stepped even closer to me and snaked his hand around my throat. Though his touch was gentle, there was something overwhelmingly evil about it. It struck fear right into my bones.
“Get away from me! Get away from me now!” I screamed at the top of my lungs and stumbled back into the wall.
“Dani… Dani!” someone said. The voice sounded distant, yet so close, like it was just out of reach.
Javier took another step toward me. Damn him. Damn him. Damn him. I curled my hand around his throat, squeezing and pushing him away. “I said to stay away from me!” I shouted, staring at the man who had tried to fuck me. From my core to my breasts to my lips, I felt the lust and wrath clawing its way up my body, desperate to consume his lonely soul yet again.
My hunger reawakened.
He collapsed to his knees, and I collapsed with him, wrapping my other hand around his neck. When he closed his eyes, I could feel him gasp for breath. He lifted his fingers and brushed them against my forehead.
My mind suddenly cleared, and I saw nothing but… Eros.
Eros knelt in front of me, his cheeks a light pink. My hands were wrapped tightly around his throat. I gulped and loosened my grip slightly, but I didn’t know what was real anymore. This could be another one of my visions. Javier could just be fucking with me again.
“Dani,” Eros whispered. “It’s me.”
“Prove it,” I whispered back, tears welling in my eyes. “Prove to me it's you.”
Eros closed his eyes, and a wave of pleasure surged through my body. All of his memories rushed through my mind. Him holding me outside of Ollie’s in the pouring rain after I had puked, me staring up at me as he wiped off all my makeup after the Halloween party, the smile on my lips when I had taken my first bite into a Fervor Crips. They were memories that Javier could never have.
I took a deep breath, tears streaming down my cheeks, and dropped my hand. Eros… it was only just Eros. “Eros,” I breathed, watching him catch his breath. “I-I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean for that to happen.”
He sat me on Dad’s chair and crouched between my legs. “What’s going on?” he asked me, pushing away my tears with his thumb. “What have you been keeping from me?” From the look in his eyes, I could tell that he had known something had been going on for a while now.
I didn’t want to tell him. I didn’t want him to hurt.
I hugged my arms around my body, my chin quivering. “I’m having visions and hallucinations of… of…”
“Of what, Dani?” His voice was so tender, and I hated breaking his heart.
“Of Javier,” I whispered.
Eros’s calm demeanor changed into a tense and shielded one in less than a second. “Of Javier?” He reiterated his name in disbelief and in pain. His fingers dropped from my face.
I grasped his hands, desperate to feel him. “I’m sorry,” I whispered. “He’s taking control of me and… and I can’t do anything about it. I’m sorry for not telling you sooner. I just… didn’t want to hurt you.”
Eros paused for a few moments, his eyes flickering back and forth. Then he picked me off the chair and walked with me out of the room. “Come on, Dani.”
“Where are we going?” I asked, tucking my head into his chest.
“Lucifer’s kingdom.”
“Lucifer’s kingdom? Are you… are you taking me to The Chains?” I asked, because I didn’t want to go to The Chains. Not after what I had seen happen to Trevon. I didn’t want that pain on top of the hurt I already had.
“No, I’m taking you to one of Lucifer’s healers.”
Chapter 21
Just outside Lucifer’s Castle, there was a small building made almost entirely out of ice. Eros led me inside. My gaze traveled from the azure walls, watching the light permeate through the edges, to the grand white chandelier in the center.
Demons from all kingdoms waited on booths of ice. Eros pulled me under a large parabolic arch to a man with small ice horns. “Do you have an appointment?”
“She needs to see a healer as soon as possible,” Eros said, nodding toward me. It was the first time I heard him speak since we had left Lust. On our way here, all he had done was grasp my hand tightly, and it was making me nervous. Maybe this was worse than I originally thought, or maybe I just made Eros more angry that I thought I would’ve because I didn’t tell him sooner.
“We don’t have any open appointments today, Lord Eros.”
“She’ll see him next,” Eros said without room for argument. He took my hand and pulled me to a booth. When we sat, some demons looked over at us and whispered amongst themselves. My demon wanted to break free and kill each one of them for talking poorly about me yet again. But, instead, I gazed down at my legs.
God, Dani, control yourself. Not here and definitely not now.
I took one glance up at them, my claws lengthening and cutting right through my palms. If I had the chance, I would dig my claws right into their necks and kill them a—
Eros growled, and they quieted down. He placed a hand on my thigh, fingers digging into my exposed skin. He still didn’t say anything to me, just sat there with a clenched jaw.
He was mad. Scratch that, he was furious that I hadn’t told him about Javier sooner. But… could he blame me? I didn’t want him to believe all those nasty things his parents had told him about not being a true incubus because I was sleeping in his bed yet dreaming of another man.
“There you are,” Lucifer said, sauntering into the room. “Didn’t think you two would actually be here.” He cocked his head to the side, a slight smirk on his face. “This place is for the lowly peasants, if you ask me.” He sat in the booth across from us, wrapping his hands around the back of the seat and kicked one leg over the other. “So, what has Dani here today?”
The vein in my neck pulsed with rage, Javier sensing the tension. “I’m here to see an actual doctor. Not you, Luci.” My words came out harsher than I expected, and suddenly my entire body felt like flames. I could feel the blaze of Wrath, the fire under my skin, crawling it’s way through each layer of muscle, making me burn even in the coldest kingdom in Hell.
I sat there
and stared at the blue wall, trying not to see red. But the color blurred my vision, my fangs ached for blood, my soul needed more, needed another soul to bind with, to consume, to devour.
“What’s gotten into your woman’s panties?” Lucifer asked, arching a brow at Eros. “Certainly not you, if she’s acting like this.”
Eros’s fingers dug lightly into my inner thigh. “Javier,” Eros said. Though his voice was low, Javier’s name rolled off his tongue with so much distaste, like even when he was dead Javier was still hurting him.
Lucifer’s grey eyes turned a shade lighter and widened. He sat up and chuckled. “Oh, Dani, now we’re talking.” With his lips curled into a smile, he said, “The heir to Wrath. You’ve got yourself into some trouble.”
Before I could respond, a pretty young woman with chocolate brown hair and small icicle horns peered from a doorway. “Commander Asmodeus? Dr. Xiexie will see you now.”
I glanced briefly at Eros who still didn’t say anything, then I patted his thigh. “Don’t wait for me. I might be awhile. I’ll find you back at the castle.” Then, without sparing Lucifer another glance—because I knew that if I did, my demon would snap—I followed the nurse into another room.
Though I expected the patient room to have a granite cauldron, a plethora of healing potions, and glass crystals hanging from the ceiling, the room looked like one back at Lust. With a grand bed, done up with the finest red-silk blankets, and small candles burning in the corners, the room had an almost sensual feel to it.
“Commander,” someone said from behind me, placing their hand on my shoulder. I jumped up in surprise and turned around to see a man towering over me. Blue eyes, chillingly cold fingers, horns about a finger-length long, he stared down at me. “Sit.”
I sat uncomfortably on the bed. My feet didn’t touch the floor, so I kicked them back and forth and twirled my ring on my finger. I gazed around the room some more, hoping to find something to keep my mind sane. If I snapped here and lost control and—I furrowed my brows at the doctor who had started removing his pants. “Why’re you taking off your clothes?”
“You’re here to relax, aren’t you?” He paused for a moment. “Lucifer—”
“Probably told you I needed to be fucked, didn’t he?”
I drew my tongue against my fangs. Taking this man’s soul would be so easy. He was almost inviting me to do it. And his neck… his neck looked oh-so-inviting for me to just plunge my teeth into, to suck his soul right out of his bloodstream, to lie there in a puddle of his blood and drink him dry.
But I wouldn’t do that because I had control.
“Put your damn clothes back on,” I said, clenching my jaw.
He smoothed out his pants and stood across from me with his head bowed. “My apologies, Commander.”
“Don’t apologize. I just need help.”
“What can I help you with?”
I paused for a long moment and swallowed hard. Would admitting this to him make me look weak in the eyes of yet another demon in Hell? Would this secret break me? What if word got out to everyone around that I was this crazy half-angel, having hallucinations of demons?
“Everything we say here is confidential?” I asked, making sure that while the room looked nothing like Dr. U’s, the rules were the same and that nobody would find out about this secret that I’ve been hiding for so long.
He parted his lips, as if he was thinking about it. “If—”
“No ifs, unless you want me to tell Eros about what you thought this little meeting was really for.” I raised a sharp brow. “Or I could just take care of you myself.”
He bowed his head again. “Information here is private, Commander.”
“Good,” I said. “Because if it’s not, I’ll be back to finish you off.”
And, then, I laid back on the bed with my hands over my face and told him about all these disturbing visions that I kept having of Javier, how they weren’t going away, and how he was slowly taking over my mind.
Dr. Xiexie paused for a moment, brows drawn together. “This is a common symptom of soul taking. The consumer will feel some of the same intense emotions for a few days after they take the soul because that victim’s soul binds to yours.”
My brows furrowed. “Are you saying that once I kill someone, I will never be free of them? I have to carry around their souls for the entirety of my life?” And why the hell didn’t Eros tell me this?
“Usually demons become desensitized to it, and it rarely takes such a heavy toll on someone for more than three days.” He paused for a moment. “I’ve seen it common among humans… but half-human and half-demons rarely have this strong of effect for this length of time.”
I pressed my lips together and lowered my voice. “I’m not half-human. I’m half-angel.”
His eyes widened, and a chilling gust of wind hit my exposed flesh. “You’re Fatima’s daughter, aren’t you?” He hurried over to the window and closed the blinds, peeked his head out the door to look for bystanders and then locked it. “You can’t tell anyone that you’re half-angel. Nobody. Do you hear me.”
“I haven’t told anyone besides Eros and Lucifer.”
“Those who supported the previous leaders in Lust will hunt you down and kill you. They hated that Asmodeus was with an angel. They slaughtered the poor man for it and hung his horns as a warning in the center of Chastion.”
They hung Dad’s horns in Chastion? Were his horns still there? Could I get them back, so I could have a piece of him too?
I took a deep breath and pushed those thoughts to the back of my mind for now. “I don’t plan on telling anyone.” I swallowed hard. “But would this have an effect?”
“Yes, this changes things. This changes many things.” He paced back and forth, tapping his foot. “I know very little about angels, but I have vast knowledge about demons. I can tell, based on what I do know, that Javier’s mind—if he is strong enough—could control you. He feeds off both lust and violence.” Xiexie gazed right at me. “You can’t help feeding off of lust yourself, so—whatever you do—don’t feed into his violent side.”
“Do you have a potion or something that could fix me?”
“There’s nothing I could do for soul-taking. Demons usually know what they’re getting themselves into when they take a soul. The best I could recommend is to surround yourself with friends and… I don’t say this often… but go out and do something good.”
“Should I repent?”
Though his expression was serious, his lips curled into a smirk. “You don’t repent in Hell, especially not for Javier. These hallucinations started after you killed him, correct?” he asked. I nodded. “Then, you must follow these instructions… hold on to your lust, it is what will keep you alive down here. But don’t let go of your goodness, because it will keep you sane.”
Chapter 22
When I walked out of Dr. Xiexie’s office, I took a deep breath. Though I still didn’t have this entire thing under control, it was a relief to understand what was happening to me, to figure out a cure, and to tell someone else about my angelic side.
After pulling myself together, I passed the demons in the waiting room who were still giving me that side-eye and found my way to Lucifer’s castle. The two blue suns blazed against the white horizon. I squinted my eyes and stared up at the tall castle and even taller glaciers surrounding it.
The guards opened the palace doors for me, and I wandered into the grand foyer. The interior was a unique cross between white granite and cold, dark stone. Soft voice echoed through the empty castle, and I followed them up the stairs until I reached the top floor.
Apples and cinnamon drifted through the air. I brushed my fingers against the walls and walked toward the voices, inhaling the alluring mixture.
“This is a good thing,” Lucifer said from the room at the end of the hallway.
There was a long pause. “How is it a good thing?” Eros asked, his voice tense.
“This is what Dani needs.” Lucife
r paused, and I leaned against the wall next to the open door and listened. “Isn’t it, Dani?”
Damn it.
I peeked into the room to see Eros and Lucifer sitting on one of the large leather couches, Eros’s arm was draped against the back of the seat, his body turned toward Lucifer. His arms, painted with dark tattoos, were flexed. Lucifer whirled a drink of Vemon in his hand and smirked at me. They were closer than I had ever seen them.
When Eros met my gaze, he pulled his arm away and turned toward me. I walked into the room and sat next to him, placing my hand on his thigh. “What do I need, Lucifer?”
“Javier.” Lucifer placed his drink down on the glass table. “This will give you just the edge you need to make everyone fear you.”
“This is not what I need to make them fear me.” I arched a brow at him. “I can do that all by myself.” Not that I actually wanted to make anyone fear me… I already feared this power.
“You can’t suppress it,” Lucifer said, the words coming out as if he knew that they were true. He walked around the couch until he stood directly behind me, placed his hands on my shoulders, and squeezed lightly. “You want more souls,” he said into my ear. “It felt good to take Javier’s, didn’t it?”
“Lucifer, don’t,” Eros said, staring back and forth between us, his eyes slowly growing black. There was a tenseness in his eyes and in his demeanor that I had never seen. Something about it made me uneasy, as if he was worried about me.
I tensed and swallowed hard, my heart pounding against my chest. Lucifer’s cold lips brushed against my ear. “But you’re afraid of the power you hold because you don’t know how to control it. You think about drinking people dry, stealing their soul, letting it bind to yours. Once you start, you don’t know if you’ll be able to stop.”
“Lucifer,” I said, my voice wavering. My insides tightened, and I tried hard to control myself. But it seemed like all the doctor’s advice went right out of the damn window because when the Devil talked into my ear, I listened. Not because it was good advice, but because deep down it was exactly what I wanted to hear.
Demonic Desire (Becoming Lust Book 2) Page 10
