by Nix, Imogene
“Xavier… Oh, God… Xavier…” She gasped, and burnt beneath him, but he continued onward.
The liquid heat pooled inside her. He stopped sucking to look up. “Do you want more?”
“Please, Xavier. I just want you.” The words were incoherent and he gave one last lick, removing his finger and watching her, then he placed it in his mouth. Letting his lips settle around it, he sucked. The carnal act stole her breath.
Once more, he teased her slick and wet core, slipping within to pump gently, while he positioned himself, and only then did he move his hand away. Then he slid, slowly, within her body.
She sighed at the feel of him embedded fully within her. He moved, and she met his thrust carefully.
Xavier reached over her, grasping a pillow from the other side of the bed. He slid out of her and she mewled at the loss of his weight, his touch, but he looked up, his eyes glittering with need. Then he positioned his hand under her, pulling the pillow under the cast, and swiftly returned to her. Once more, he filled her to the hilt.
She wound her good leg around his hips, levering into him, and pulling him as close as possible.
“Don’t want to put any pressure on your break.” His words whispered against her mouth, then their mouths met. She met his thrusting tongue with her own, and let it dance against his. She could taste the muskiness in that sweet wet cavern of his—her taste.
He pumped her slowly while he worked her nipples into tight buds, as she let her hands roam his body.
“Oh, Xavier, more. Please!” She moaned. He shoved harder and faster within her. She writhed beneath him, feeling the increase of pressure building, low and deep in her belly.
He pushed her on, as she felt her body tightening. Glorying in the feel and weight of him above her, and how he moved within her quickly, she orgasmed. A keening sound erupted from her throat.
The rhythmic spasms of muscles clenching and releasing flashed through her body like quicksilver. He flexed one more time, and she felt him stiffen, gripping tightly to her hips. The feeling of his pulsing release, deep within her, filled her with satisfaction.
Their bodies stilled, locked together. She opened her eyes to see his dark hair pillowed on her breast, where he had slumped against her.
Breathing slowed, as did beating hearts.
She closed her eyes. Dear God. There was no way she could give this up. Not the sex, but the sense of connection she felt with him. Of rightness. But he was the Master vampire, and she was what? His girlfriend? His lover? She loved him. A trickle of tears seeped out of the corner of her eye, as the truth occurred to her.
She. Loved. Him.
Oh, Lord. Please don’t let that be right. Please no! Don’t let her have made that mistake. But even as the thought flashed through her, she knew. She had tumbled into love with a Master vampire.
Her.
The one the bad guys wanted.
The one her parents didn’t want.
“Hope? What’s wrong? Did I hurt you?” He lifted his head, touching his hand to the trails of tears on her face. “What? Do I need to call the doctor?” He was half rising, as she grabbed his hand.
“No. Nothing is wrong. I’m just being silly is all.” She swiped at the tears, sniffing inelegantly. “I just have never made love with someone like that before. I want to thank you for that.”
Inside, though, she screamed out her frustration. I want to tell you I love you, but can’t. It wasn’t a fair burden to share, and she knew he had taken on the responsibility of keeping her safe. So instead she leant forward, touching soft lips to his. “Thank you.” Keeping control of her emotions, though, left her stiff, and she saw the questions in his eyes.
But knowing you are a fraud offers no peace. Her honest assessment of her actions left her feeling cold and lost.
They settled down, with Hope caught up in Xavier’s strong arms. She listened to the sound of his breathing, evening out as she lay still, looking at the wall, hoping for the welcome oblivion of sleep.
* * * *
The dream came again, this time darker and more intense than before. The thick fog lifted as they appeared in front of her, the atmosphere both chilling and foreboding. She shivered. Everything seemed muted and tinged in grey, like old photos. Men dressed in black trench coats stepped out of the fog, but she couldn’t make out their features. On an instinctive level, she knew smiles adorned their bloodied faces, but she couldn’t see them clearly. The drips of blood trickling down their chins chilled her to the bone. The building behind them, a hulking mass, continued smoking, as remains littered the ground. Bodies. Blood. Everywhere.
The copper tang filled the air, souring her stomach. The scent of blood was making her feel ill.
She could see them once more. Xavier, with his blood seeping into the sidewalk, his eyes blank. Javed, a few feet away, lying still on the ground, his eyes dull in death. She rushed forward, but strong arms caught at her. One of the black trench-coated men. No! She screamed, her heart breaking, as she surveyed the surroundings, her heart splintering. The carnage before her, the scenes of the dead and dying and the sounds of anguished moaning overwhelming her. The blond man stepped forward. The one she knew was Estersham.
“It is time.” He moved closer, and she knew she was about to feel the sting and tear of his teeth…
“Hope? Wake up. Come on. It’s just a dream.”
She thrashed as the remnants of the dream filled her with sickness. The tang of bile present in her mouth and on her tongue, while her throat burned.
She was clammy and cold, even as Xavier held her close, hauling the covers around her.
“It was the same dream, but different. I don’t know why, but it was.” She shivered uncontrollably while she thought of Xavier, lying dead on the concrete. “He shot you. Outside that building. There was smoke and bodies, and I am sure I know that building… I don’t know why!” She wailed the last words, hands raised in supplication.
Gently he rubbed up and down her back. She hiccupped, and gratefully accepted the warmth of his body touching hers. His kissed the back of her neck, reassuring and warm.
She slumped back against him, and the nightmare receded. “It’s trying to tell me something, and I don’t know what. I don’t dream like this a lot anymore…and it was never like this.”
She shuddered as her mind cleared. “I did up to the point when the nest was breached. But not much since then. Now they’re back and I can’t interpret them. The only thing I know is they can’t have you.” She gripped his hand, brought it up to her mouth and kissed it softly.
They stayed together while the day wore on. Eventually they dozed off, still wound around each other.
Chapter Eight
Xavier watched as Hope picked at her breakfast. She was pale, her eyes tired, and dark circles ringed her eyes. She hadn’t slept properly since the last nightmare, spoke little and seemed lost, her movements listless and painful for him to watch. He wanted to do something for her, but just didn’t know what and the frustration rose once more.
Yet, even for that, she turned to him in the night, soundlessly seeking his embrace. The longer she suffered, the more difficult it became for him to watch. He breathed deeply, letting his lungs expand in preparation for the discussion he was about to open. This could be his last chance, and it frightened him as much as the knowledge that her dreams were tearing her apart.
“Are you going to eat that, or just play with it?” He used a languid hand to point to the meal, while his efforts to continue to act unconcerned tore at him. Watching her push and play with her food had become a daily occurrence. He wanted to jump up and pull her into his arms, but he held himself in place. This had to be done.
She jumped at the blunt words. If it was possible, she paled further.
“I’m really not hungry.”
He felt as much irritation as worry. She pushed the plate away. “Actually, I think I have some work to complete…” She started to rise from the table, manoeuvring the crutc
hes into place.
“Stop. Hope, we need to talk, you and I. Need to work out where this situation is going and what needs to be done.” He’d been thinking it over, balancing the issues inside his head.
In the half standing position, she waited. Head bowed, and he felt like a heel, kicking her while she was down.
She quivered, then stood waiting. In the last few days, nothing else had worked to make her understand she wasn’t to blame for any of this, and he knew he needed to get through to her. This has to work.
“I really don’t want to talk about it.” Her voice was uneven.
He felt worse, as the knot of uneasiness grew in his breast, but she had to work through the issues, otherwise she would become ill from lack of sleep and food. If nothing else more sinister, he told himself.
“Hope, you have to talk about it. Bottling these sorts of issue will tear you apart. I don’t want to see that happen.” He injected as much warmth and concern into his words as he could.
The look in her eyes was wild in the half-light, then her face hardened with anger. “Why? Why don’t you want to see that happen, Xavier? Because then you might lose the warm body in your bed of a night? The sex on tap?” The bitterness in her voice shocked him, as her chest heaved brutally.
He slumped back heavily into the seat. As soon as the words were out of her mouth, she stopped. The shocked look on her face coincided with a pain in his chest. Her ugly words sliced into him sharply.
Did she really think that of him? That he thought so little of her? That emotionally and personally she wasn’t important to him? The words flew around in his brain. He’d both proven and told her that she was essential to him. So, what had he done wrong?
“Oh, my God!” She closed her eyes and crumpled into the chair. “I can’t believe I said that.” Hope dropped the crutches to the floor, the clatter echoing through the silent room. Her head dropped forward slightly, but he could still see one hand clapped over her mouth, and she grabbed at her stomach. “I didn’t mean that. Honestly.” She lifted her head as the words tumbled forward. A red tide climbed her porcelain skin. Her eyes shone with tears, and she blinked furiously, dismissing them, he thought. Her face was a picture of shock and horror.
He hurt in the region of his heart, and wanted to rub it, but knew it would offer no surcease from his anguish. He ached for her in a way he had never before experienced. It had been him, alone for a long time. He’d had friends, some closer than others. Estersham had been significant in his second life as a vampire, at least until he’d gone rogue. Yet, no-one had meant quite so much to him as Hope did. He was confused about how to deal with the emotions that swamped him.
Before him sat a broken woman, her hands shaking and her skin parchment white as she struggled to deal with her fears. Xavier’s heart squeezed once more at her pain.
“I don’t know what I’m saying anymore. I can’t sleep. I can’t eat and I feel like I’m going mad! I go to sleep knowing what I am going to see. Knowing that they are there, waiting for me. Ready to show me something I don’t want to happen. Something I don’t want to see. And most of all, I don’t want to see you dead.” Her voice broke, and she shook.
This time he rose, going to her.
Xavier knelt on the floor beside her before pulling her into his arms. “Hope. None of us can change what has happened, but if we can work it out, we may be able to change the future. You said, after the last dream, it had changed. If we could work out why, we might be able to change the outcome. To do that, though, we need to know what happened, and be able to break it down. I know it’s difficult, but we can do this. Together.”
His words were soft, but he was sure they had got through to her. The sounds filtered through the room, and gradually the violent paroxysm passed.
Her sobbing eased, and only an occasional hiccup sounded, while he waited. She gripped him tighter, as if trying to crawl inside him, and he held her tight. But the horror and fear in her eyes haunted him.
“Okay. I’ll try.” Once more, Hope sniffled, rooting in pockets, probably seeking a handkerchief. The words were broken, but there was purpose and commitment in them, and they soothed the ache inside him a little, as he gave her the cloth he had taken to keeping in his pocket. She turned away, wiping her eyes and blowing her nose.
Something moved through the air. A change in himself, skittering just beyond the reach of his mind and senses, but he felt an uneasy ripple in the back of his mind. Something indefinable.
Her eyes stung, and all the while her stomach cramped. Had she really said those horrible things to Xavier? The look on his face when she had said them haunted her. She felt sick just remembering.
He had wanted her to talk about the dreams, not about their situation. God help her, she just wanted to forget the nightly horror. Each time she closed her eyes, though, she could see the scene in front of her. Smell the smoke and copper tang from the blood. Her stomach churned harder, and the sick taste of bile rose in her throat. The unpleasant sensations were her constant companion these days and she knew her lack of hunger could be attributed to that. Her refusal to share the constant churn had been out of concern for Xavier’s piece of mind.
“Xavier, I have tried to make it go away when I’m awake. But it won’t. It’s always there, and I don’t know what to do. The images are there, haunting me.” She closed her eyes, scrubbing at the itchy, aching orbs with the heel of her hand. Felt the lump in her throat, constricting her and burning.
“I can’t understand what you are going through. But I can say with certainty that something you or we did changed the future. The future you saw in your dreams the first time.”
She waited for him to continue.
“We need to work out what, so we can stop it from happening. You need to tell me everything you know and saw. Every detail, no matter how small or insignificant it may seem.” He grabbed her hands.
She realised just how cold she was. “Do we have to do it now?” Her voice was strained, as if she had been screaming. Her throat ached, she wanted a cool drink to clear it away. “Can I grab a drink first?”
Hope watched as Xavier checked his watch. “You know what? It’s going on four in the morning. I think we should try when we wake up tonight. I am also going to try to arrange a visit upstairs for you tomorrow. Maybe that will help a little. I know you’re feeling stressed with everything, and being down here for weeks.” Hope knew Xavier was seeking some way to relieve her distress.
He smiled, and she saw the strain lines bracketing his mouth and eyes. “What is it they call it? Cabin fever?” She laughed, knowing her answer to his question was quivery and damp sounding. “I’ll have your parents lined up for nine—that way we can do them first, then come back down here and go through your dream. Does that work for you?” His voice was soft and coaxing, and she found herself nodding agreement to his plans.
She knew he was humouring her, and she worked at pasting a smile on her face. He slipped soft arms under her legs. “Xavier? What are you doing?” He hefted her in his arms.
“Taking you to bed. To sleep.” The words were firm, but caring, and she had to swallow the feeling of inadequacy and guilt that filled her.
She had been so wrong with her accusation, and she needed to understand her apology was sincere. Sometimes facing up to being more than just rude was difficult, and this was no exception.
“Xavier? I was wrong. I shouldn’t have said that before about a warm body. It was low of me and I didn’t mean it. Not really.” Her chest hurt as she pushed the words out. God, I hope he understands what I am trying to say. She could only hope that she hadn’t damaged what they had growing between them beyond repair.
He stopped in the doorway. “You may not mean it now, but maybe you did at the beginning. You wouldn’t say those words if at some point you hadn’t thought them. I’m sorry if I ever gave you the impression that you weren’t important to me.” He stopped, closing his eyes and swallowing.
She searched his face, t
he sensation of guilt pulsing stronger than before. “Hope, I don’t know what to say, other than I don’t make a habit of sleeping around. Those who do share my bed are valued and important to me. You are important to me.”
The words were said slowly and she thought they were rather like a vow. He looked at her with eyes that glittered, and she could read the sincerity in those deep green pools. He leaned his head forward and softly, achingly, kissed her on the lips. Light, but full of what she hoped was promise.
* * * *
She woke with a start. The room was quiet and she was on her own. Her lips trembled. I am so dumb. Xavier is pissed off with me, and I’m here on my own. If only I had kept my mouth shut, instead of running off without thought. A tear trembled as her eyes burnt. It plopped onto her cheek, before running down her face. Hope sniffed, scrubbing the silent tear away. “You are such a fool, Hope. Xavier is a good man and you had to speak without thinking, spewing your angry and thoughtless words.” She mumbled the words, as she pulled a pillow over her head, hiding from herself and the emptiness in the room.
“Who are you talking to?” Xavier’s voice filtered from the bathroom, and for a moment she lay still.
Her body froze in shock at the sound of his voice, and she let the pillow fall to the bed.
He hadn’t left. He was still here. Triumph roared through her system. Energising and cleansing and she smiled, wiping the last of the teary remnants away.
But that feeling was swiftly followed by remorse, that he had heard her comments to herself. She closed her eyes. “I was just talking to myself.”
Soft fingers trailed up her arm and she jumped. “Hope, you aren’t a fool.” She looked up at him, surprised by his words. She hadn’t heard him approach, but in the weeks they had been together, she should be getting used to that.
“You are one incredibly sexy lady, holding up in an impossible situation that very few people would even understand, let alone have to endure.” She watched him as he smiled, grabbing her hand and pulling her upright. “Now, incredibly sexy lady, it is time to dress. Tell me what you want and I will be your personal slave.” He grinned at her, the infectiousness in his grin catching her, making her heart skip.
