“That’s what I’m hoping.” She shook her head, making her curls dance. “But I’ve got a lot to finish up here before I can leave, so …”
He got the hint. “Sure. Finish up. I’ll—I’ll see you later.”
He fled to his desk and sat down, fighting the urge to bury his face in his hands. “It’s okay,” he mumbled to himself as he punched the computer keys to open the budget log. “The campground is big. Lots of people. You’ll hardly see her.”
“You say something, Ben?”
Philip’s curious voice brought Ben’s head up.
“Huh?” He hadn’t realized he’d spoken loud enough for anyone to hear. Shaking his head, he forced a grin. “No. No, just thinking aloud.”
“Oh. Okay.” Philip gave him a light pat on the shoulder. “Well, listen, if you need to leave now, I can look over the books.”
Ben scooted his chair back and rose. “That’d be great. I do have some things I could do to get ready for the weekend.”
Like pray for strength to make it through this weekend with Angela only a dormitory away.
“Fine.” Philip plunked himself into Ben’s chair. “See you Tuesday. And have a great weekend.”
Ben yanked his car keys from his pocket. “Yeah, great …”
Angela trotted to her car, her steps light and her heart singing. Ben had talked to her! After nearly two weeks of silence, he’d walked up, called her name, and talked to her. The joy that had washed over her in those moments still bubbled under the surface. How she had missed his companionship!
Her constant prayer had been for a restoration of their friendship. She knew she had disappointed him by meeting with Janine and the others at the Ironstone and having that beer on the table. But she’d been working so hard ever since to stay true to her Christian convictions and not do anything that would give anyone the impression that pleasing Jesus was not important to her.
Surely he’d noticed. That’s why he’d spoken to her today. She couldn’t stop the smile from growing on her face as she considered an entire weekend of activities with Ben. Pastor Joe had indicated the opportunity for building friendships existed. She mentally moved Ben to the top of her “support system” list.
She climbed into her vehicle, humming. Now that she knew Ben would be there, a feeling of security struck. As much as she had anticipated the weekend, an underlying nervousness had held back full-blown excitement. Being with strangers was never comfortable. But Ben’s would be a familiar face, an island of recognition among a sea of strangers.
And with all the opportunities for interaction and joint activities, surely their friendship would grow. When they first met, she’d felt a spark. She longed for their relationship to be as it was before Ben knew about her drug use conviction. This weekend could prove to be a healing time for both of them. Oh, please, Lord! Her heart beat in hopeful double beats.
Since she had said good-bye to Aunt Eileen and put her bag in the car this morning before leaving for work, she drove straight to the church. Several other cars were already there, and two large vans waited by the sidewalk, the back doors yawning wide. People milled around the vans, some with bags in hand.
She parked her car with the others and got out, waving when a couple of people beside the vans waved at her. After retrieving her suitcase, she trotted to the vans. “Hi! Where do I put this?”
A dark-haired woman greeted her with a smile. “We ladies are going on the first van and the guys in the second, so you can put your suitcase in the back of the first one. Here, I’ll take it.” She took the suitcase from Angela then headed toward the first van. Peeking over her shoulder, she said, “I know I’ve seen you in Sunday school, but I’ve forgotten your name.”
“I’m Angela.” Angela trotted along beside her benefactor.
“And I’m Stephanie.” Stephanie put Angela’s suitcase with the others then held out her hand. “I’m glad you decided to join us.”
Angela shook Stephanie’s hand. “Thanks.” She walked with Stephanie back to the milling group of women, her brain buzzing. Something about Stephanie was familiar, but she couldn’t place it. She stayed in the group, learning everyone’s name and chatting, while more cars pulled into the parking lot and the backs of the vans filled with suitcases.
Not until she saw Ben’s pickup pull in did she remember where she’d seen Stephanie before. At Bible study two weeks ago, huddled in a corner with Ben. Jealousy smacked hard, and Angela felt her breath catch. Could it be that Ben had avoided her recently for more reasons than her past mistakes?
She watched him cross the parking lot, duffel bag in hand. He tossed his lumpy bag into the back of the last van, his T-shirt pulling taut with the swell of his muscles. When she glanced at Stephanie, she observed the other woman’s gaze following Ben, too.
Lord, guard my actions. The prayer came automatically, a recognition of behavior that wasn’t pleasing to her Savior. The simple prayer settled her ruffled feathers, and she took a big breath, managing to smile when Ben turned in their direction.
When his gaze fell on her, she saw his steps falter, his grin fade. Then he seemed to shift his gaze to Stephanie, and the smile returned. A pain stabbed through Angela’s heart.
Her earlier hopes of establishing a closer friendship with Ben melted beneath the early September sun. Reality crashed around her, reminding her that someone like Ben—strong, steadfast Ben—would never be interested in someone whose past was so shaded.
When he stopped in front of Stephanie, Angela took a step backward, forcing a smile she didn’t feel. “I—I’m going to get in the van now. See you all in a few minutes.”
“Okay, Angela.” Stephanie’s bright smile did little to ease Angela’s discomfort. “I’ll join you in a minute or two.”
Angela paused long enough to see Stephanie lift her smile to Ben’s face; then she turned and fled to the van. Inside the vehicle, alone with her thoughts, she hunkered into the seat and closed her eyes tight, trying to shut away the image of Ben with Stephanie.
The two had looked right together—both with their longtime Christian lives. Who was she fooling, thinking she was worthy of someone like Ben? She fought tears as shame once again filled her chest, bringing a stifling weight of regret. She allowed herself a few minutes of mourning, of whining silently to God over being stuck in an emotional roller-coaster ride. And when she’d finished, she straightened in the seat and dashed away her tears with the insides of her wrists.
She would not spend this weekend moping. Pastor Joe had said she would find Christian friends who would accept her. So Ben didn’t accept her. So what? Ben wasn’t the only person who would be at the campground this weekend. There would be lots of other people. She’d just have to set her sights elsewhere. It was time to broaden her horizons, to stop looking at Ben as the only answer to her loneliness.
Lord, I’ve prayed for friendships. Pastor Joe has prayed for friendships for me, too. I trust You to meet that need this weekend. Thank You for the people You will bring into my life.
“Hi.”
The greeting startled Angela out of her prayer. She jerked her gaze up to find a smiling young woman standing in the van’s open doorway.
“Mind if I join you? I’ve been on my feet all morning, and I’m ready to sit down.”
Angela scooted over and patted the seat. “Sure. By the way, I’m Angela.”
“I’m Robyn.”
“Nice to meet you.”
Robyn grinned, dimples flashing. “You, too.”
They began to chat, and thoughts of Ben thankfully slipped into the background as the groundwork was set for establishing a new friendship.
fifteen
Angela swung her suitcase and, with a grunt, managed to plunk it onto the mattress of an upper bunk.
Sitting on the bunk below, Robyn grinned. “Wow! I think we’ll call you Muscles from now on!”
Angela looked at the other woman and laughed. Rubbing her shoulder, she said, “I don’t think one lucky swing is
enough to earn that title. And I hope I’ll have enough room to sleep up there with the suitcase, because I’m not willing to wrestle it down until it’s time to leave on Monday.”
On the bunk next to Angela’s, Stephanie stopped rolling out her sleeping bag and said, “If you sleep all coiled up like a roly-poly bug, you’ll be fine with that suitcase on the end. Or you could stretch out and use it as a footrest.”
Although Angela had tried her best to dislike the dark-haired woman—after all, she had Ben’s attention—she just couldn’t maintain the feeling. Stephanie was so sweet, Angela found herself drawn to her. On the drive over, with Robyn between them, Stephanie had repeatedly leaned forward and included Angela in conversation. Angela couldn’t make herself rebuff Stephanie now.
Forcing a laugh, Angela said, “I think I’ll have to sleep with my head on the suitcase. I just realized I brought sheets, but I didn’t bring a pillow.”
Stephanie picked up one of the plump pillows from her bed and tossed it over. “There you go, with my compliments.”
Angela picked it up and hugged it. “Are you sure? You brought two. You must have intended to use them.”
With a grin, Stephanie folded the remaining pillow in half, thumped it onto the mattress, and rested her head on it. “This’ll work fine.”
“Well, then … thanks.” Angela swallowed the lump in her throat. It had been a long time since she’d been treated with such unconditional acceptance and kindness by virtual strangers.
Robyn bounced up from her mattress, her eyes sparkling behind the round lenses of her glasses. “Well, now that we’re settled, let’s head to the cafeteria. Supper starts in another fifteen minutes.”
Several others were already heading for the door that led to the hallway. Angela, Stephanie, and Robyn fell in with them. The group laughed and talked as they made their way across a grassy courtyard that separated the dormitories from the main buildings. Angela found herself feeling at ease, and peacefulness washed over her. Thank You, Lord, for bringing me here.
Outside the cafeteria doors, a table was set up beneath a green canvas pavilion, and a smiling woman distributed plastic-sleeved name tags printed with each person’s name and church of attendance. Each tag also had colored stickers in the upper left-hand corner.
Angela found her name tag and examined it. A blue cross with a yellow rose sticker at its base was on her tag. Robyn’s tag had a rainbow in clouds instead of the cross, but she also had a yellow rose. A glance at Stephanie’s tag showed a green cross and white daisy.
The three women clipped their tags to their shirtfronts then got in line to enter the cafeteria.
“I wonder what these are for.” Angela wondered aloud, pointing to the stickers.
Robyn shrugged. “Decoration?”
A woman in line ahead of them turned around. Her name tag read: Charlene Scott, Calvary Church, Ccott City, KS. She tapped her own symbols. Her flower sticker was a pink carnation. She also had a rainbow, but unlike Robyn’s, hers had no clouds. “They’ll use these to break us into groups. Sometimes they’ll use one of the symbols, sometimes the color. It helps us get to know everyone who is here instead of staying in our own little groups.”
Angela nodded and thanked her for the explanation. That made sense. And she liked the idea. The more people she could meet, the greater the opportunity to build her support system.
Once everyone had crowded inside the cafeteria, a man at the front of the room spoke into a microphone. “Welcome to Camp Fellowship, folks. We’ve got a great weekend planned for you, starting with our opening worship service right after supper. For the moment, check your name tags. We’re going to make a seating assignment for tonight’s meal.”
A murmur went through the waiting crowd as people consulted their name tag stickers.
The man used the microphone to call out symbols while pointing out different areas in the cafeteria. Everyone moved to his or her directed location as the symbols were called. Angela smiled a good-bye to Robyn and followed Stephanie as she made her way through the crowd to the long tables indicated for those with cross symbols.
A couple of people squeezed between the two women, slowing Angela’s steps, and she became separated from Stephanie. Most of the chairs were filled by the time she reached the tables, but an end seat was open at the second table. She stood behind it then looked across the table.
Her heart seemed to forget its purpose when she realized Ben was right across from her. Their gazes met, and Ben’s shoulders stiffened. For several long seconds they stared at each other, and Angela found herself wishing he would smile, engage in conversation, treat her the way he had before she had confessed her sinful past. But he remained silent while a bustle of activity continued around them.
“Shall we bow our heads for prayer?” asked the man with the microphone.
Relief welled when she could break eye contact with Ben. The man led the group in grace. Head bowed, Angela added a quick postscript to his prayer: Let me have a good weekend of growth and friendship building, Lord, and if it’s Your will, please let that friendship list include Ben.
Chairs screeched on the painted concrete floor as the retreaters seated themselves. Paper plates at each setting held sandwiches wrapped in aluminum foil, a cluster of green grapes, a small bag of chips, and a cup of pudding. Simple fare, but Angela didn’t mind.
The man on her left tapped her shoulder. “Could you pass the mustard, please?”
“Sure.” She picked up the bottle and handed it over.
The man smiled and glanced at her name tag. “Thanks, Angel.”
Angela burst out laughing. Grabbing the corner of the tag, she angled it so he could read the whole thing. “That’s Angela. I’ve never been called an angel before.”
The man laughed, too, and Angela heard Ben’s soft snort from across the table. She refused to look at him and held out her hand to the man. “And you are?”
He took her hand, giving it a slight squeeze. His eyes were blue, although not as deep in color as Ben’s. She liked the length of his blond hair, a little long over his collar and wavy across his forehead. He also had a dimpled smile, which he used to good advantage. “I’m Elliott. Great to meet you.”
“You, too.”
“I’m a member of Calvary Church in Scott City. How about you?”
Angela glanced at Ben. He held his sandwich in both hands, watching her over the top of the layers of wheat bread and ham. She turned back to Elliott. “I attend Grace Chapel in Petersburg. I’m not a member, though.” Another quick glance at Ben. “Yet.”
Ben turned his attention to his potato chips.
“So …” Elliott squirted his sandwich with mustard. “Have you ever been to one of these retreats before?”
Angela popped a grape in her mouth. “No, this is my first time. But I’ve been looking forward to it.”
Elliott nodded. “Oh, you’ll have a great time. These retreats are very well planned. The activities, the speaker, the music … And of course, The Course.” He threw back his head and released an ominous bwa-ha-ha-ha that brought a round of laughter from the table.
Angela shook her head, her lips twitching with a smile. “And what does that mean—?” She imitated his menacing laugh perfectly.
His grin held approval. “Have you ever been someplace where they’ve had ropes courses set up?”
Chewing another grape, Angela shook her head. Her curls tickled her cheek, and she pushed the hair behind her ear. “No.”
Elliott glanced down the length of the table and raised his voice. “Hey, everyone! Who all has done the ropes course?”
Five people, including Ben, held up their hands. Ben was the closest person with a hand raised, and Elliott turned to him. “You want to tell her all about it?”
His gaze on his plate, Ben said, “Not particularly.”
Angela felt color flood her face, and even Elliott paused for a moment, seeming put off by Ben’s blunt reply. But he recovered quickly, gave a shrug,
and turned back to Angela.
“Well, the most important thing you need to know is all the people who’ve done The Course are still here and breathing. In other words, they survived.” He smirked. “And you will, too.” He consulted her tag again. “Hm, blue cross, yellow rose …” He looked at his own tag. “Green cross, orange leaf.” A pretend pout puckered his lips. “Well, Miss Angel, we probably won’t be in the same group for the ropes course, but”—he winked—”I’ll be sure to look you up and see how you liked it.”
Angela laughed. “You be sure and do that. Hopefully I won’t be the first person to not survive The Course.”
As she turned back to her plate, she glimpsed Ben scowling at her. Suddenly he planted his hands against the edge of the table and pushed, his chair screeching against the floor. Without a word, he dropped his napkin beside his half-full plate and headed for the exit.
Ben stepped outside the cafeteria and sucked in a big breath of evening air. The chatter of voices was filtered by the closed door, but the laughter and teasing could still be heard. He needed silence, privacy, solitude. A chance to convince himself that Angela’s flirting with Elliott was no big deal. It would be a very long weekend if he allowed himself to get upset every time she talked to some other man. Half the people here were men, and someone as pretty as Angela would certainly garner attention. And she sure knows how to respond to it!
He stomped across the ground, jealousy filling his chest so fully he found it hard to draw a breath. A bench waited beneath a huge elm in the middle of the courtyard. He headed in that direction, determined to sit down and have a serious talk with himself about getting his feelings under control.
When he was halfway across the grass, someone called his name, and he nearly groaned. Spinning around, he spotted Angela trotting toward him, a determined look on her face. He folded his arms over his chest and waited for her to catch up.
Promising Angela Page 11
