by J. L. Beck
“Liam. Let’s go. She has six months,” the blue-eyed man said his voice so full and boastful.
“See you in six months, babe,” the other man said as he stepped over the threshold. They both turned around smiling before walking away. I sat very still, not even moving an inch until I could no longer hear their footfalls on the wood floor.
Then I cried. For the love I had lost and the death that would soon be my own.
Chapter Three
Devon
Present
“Agent Mitchell, my office NOW!” Frank practically yelled for the whole office to hear as he pushed through the room.
“Fuck…” I mumbled under my breath as Zerro smiled at me across the room. Zerro was my partner. He was a bad guy turned good guy. He used to be a part of the Mafia but decided he wanted to run with the good guys.
Bringing myself back to the present, I realized I needed to be heading toward Frank’s office. God, the fucker (Zerro) probably told on me for something stupid again. If so, my biggest mistake was bringing him into the force. He was lucky we were in the office finishing a case. Otherwise, I would’ve dropped him off on the side of the road somewhere.
“Boss?” I questioned, hiding my expression. Never own up to it, unless you have a reason to.
“Come in and have a seat, Mitchell.” Frank’s voice resonated authority and immediately, I was finding a chair to plant my ass in. Shuffling papers around on his desk, he threw a folder open. Its contents couldn’t be seen from where I was sitting, but something told me it wasn’t good.
“I take pride in my men, Mitchell. You have been one of those men for three years now. The youngest on the force and you continue you to amaze me.” There was a ‘but’ coming somewhere… “But…” See, there it is.
“But, you’ve been acting strangely. In all the years you have been here, you have yet to take a vacation or a three-day weekend. Hell, we can’t get you to leave for even twenty-four hours. Why is that?”
Suddenly, my mind was drifting to a place long ago. To a place when I had something to live for.
“You say you want to be in the FBI, son?” Frank had asked me. He was smiling, but his eyes looked sad. I wondered what it was that caused the sadness.
“Yes, sir,” I spoke loud and clear. He scratched his head for a second as if he were pondering something. I had the whole thing planned out. I would marry Tegan and push for a case that was closer to home. Frank knew why I wanted to do this. Why I had to do this.
“Listen to me when I say this, son, and take it to heart because I never did. If you have someone in your life who you love, that you would do anything for, then I think it would be best if you’re honest about your future plans now.” I looked at him confused. What did he mean?
“I have been honest with her. She knows what I want to do with my life.” I expressed hiding all emotions from my face. Frank was a bit of a hard ass, and I didn’t want him to know whatever it was he was saying was getting to me.
“She does, does she? Let me tell you something… My wife left me for the simple fact I was never home. I always had cases somewhere else, and I always ended up being gone on an assignment for months, sometimes years. I missed a lot. Including the birth of my daughter. One day, I came home and she was gone. Now none of that really pertains to you, but here is what does. That could be your life. She might think she knows what she’s getting into, but she doesn’t. So if you love her, if your heart beats for her, it’s best to let it go. It’s best to remove her from your life before she removes herself.” From the way he spoke, and the emotions written on his face, I could tell he understood every word he had said. He had lost so much because he thought he understood what it was like to be in the FBI.
“I don’t think I can do that…” My voice was gruff, and my chest was simply aching at the mere thought of hurting Tegan. She was my one and only, the thing that held me together when all else failed.
“Then you might not be able to do this, son. The FBI isn’t made for everyone, and it will break you before it brings you back up. There will be no time for love or loss with your job. If you want in, you have to leave her behind.”
Leave her behind? Break her heart and make her hate me? Would it really be worth it to rip her from me now rather than later when I couldn’t be the man she wanted me to be? Didn’t she deserve better than that?
“If you do it for anyone, do it for her. In the end, it’ll hurt a lot less,” Frank said, walking away from me to think about my choices. In reality, there was no choice. The choices had already been made for me. It was Tegan’s heart hanging in the balance.
“Devon…” Frank commanded pulling me from my thoughts.
As if remembering what we were talking about, I shrugged my shoulders. I didn’t have an answer for him, and even if I did, I wasn’t going to tell him I had no family to go home to. That was a lie. I had a family to go home to if you wanted to call it that. I just didn’t care to. He knew that though, so why was he asking?
“Don’t know, Frank. I simply love the force more.” I smiled, winking at him. Instead of a smile showing back, a frown took its place. He wasn’t messing around, and I didn’t have answers for him.
“We know about your home life, that much is obvious. We wouldn’t hire someone to work for the FBI without a thorough background check.” Frank stated the obvious as if I hadn’t been working here for the last three years.
“There isn’t anything going on, Frank. I have—” My words were cut off as he stared at me sternly. I was so going to kill Zerro.
“You have been stressed out more than usual, and it’s starting to show in your work.” Stressed? Huh?
“Oh, really? How so?” I sat back, acting as if I had won the argument already.
“This isn’t a contest, but so you understand—how about those men you brought in the other day for questioning. All four had bloody noses and huge knots on their foreheads.”
“Hey, I was doing my job…” I held up my hands innocently. In reality, I was taking my frustrations out on them. They had answers I needed.
“No, Mitchell. Your job is to protect this nation, serve its people, and beating the shit out of people isn’t doing your job. Therefore, I’m giving you a month’s paid vacation. In the event you come back in a month, and you’re not doing any better, I’ll give you another month.”
No. No. No. This couldn’t be happening. Time off meant thinking, thinking meant anger and aggression, and without my job as an outlet, I was liable to fall off the truck.
“That’s nice of you, sir, but I don’t feel that—”
“Listen, Devon, I don’t want to be a dick, but you need a vacation, and if I have to order the men to take you somewhere and drop you off to get you out of this building, then I will. Listen to me when I tell you to take this time off.” There was no questioning Frank. His word was all, and even if I hated what he had to say, I had to respect it and follow through.
“Looks like I’m taking a vacation…” I muttered my jaw clenched tight with every word. I was going to hate the next thirty days more than anything in my life.
“Yes. You’re to do absolutely no work while gone. None. I will give your work to Agent King. Keep in touch,” is all he said while smiling at me. Keep in touch? I knew exactly what that meant. Don’t step foot into this office until you have fixed your shit.
As I closed Frank’s door, I zoned in on Zerro. He had a smirk on his face that told me he was the accomplice.
“What the hell, man?” I questioned, walking over to my desk. I pulled the rolling chair out and threw myself into it.
“What do you mean?” He smirked some more. Two years ago, I had saved his ass and had given him the chance to start over, to have a clean break. This is the thanks I get? I was starting to think he wanted to be a bad guy again. Asshole.
“Frank’s making me take a month off. What the hell am I supposed to do during that time?” I raked my fingers through my hair, frustrated.
“
You could learn how to cross stitch. Bree is all over that shit,” Zerro mumbled as he typed away at his computer. He was so mundane compared to the person I had met when I was just starting out.
“Really funny. I’m serious though.”
“What are you so worked up about…? I mean, it’s just a vacation. I would die for some alone time with Bree.” His eyes met mine as he peered at me over the top of the computer screen. I bet you would.
There was no way of him knowing… I had royally fucked up a long time ago, and to this day, the memories were still haunting me. Funny how when you made one wrong decision, life always decided to remind you of it.
“I just don’t want all the time off…” That was a lie. I did want the time off. I just didn’t want the thinking that came with it. There was a reason why I never took vacations or weekends off. It always resulted in memories of her.
“Shut up and stop being a pussy. Enjoy your time. Come and visit Gia. You know how much she loves her Uncle Dev.” Zerro baited me with his precious daughter. She was a mix of beauty and brains. After Zerro and Bree had gotten married, they ended up pregnant right away. Sometimes, his perfect life made me jealous. Or maybe I just longed for something similar.
“Yeah, yeah. I’ll stop over there a time or two,” I muttered. My eyes landed on the paperwork before me. There were at least twenty cases that needed some digging into. I know Frank said no working, but he never said I couldn’t investigate as a civilian.
I picked up the piece of paper before me. I could feel Zerro’s eyes on it as well.
“What is this?” I asked, not really sure what I was reading. It was a police statement. Actually, it was quite a few. People had made numerous complaints about this particular diner. The weird thing was none of the complaints had been followed up.
“I don’t know. I was going to ask you the same thing. Since you aren’t going to be around, we should hold off on this one. It looks like a two-man investigation and you’re my partner. No going in alone.” His voice held a warning I all but ignored. I was a rebel. I lived my life on the edge. If I didn’t, I wouldn’t have shit to live for.
“All right, boss…” I mocked grinning at him.
“I’m not your boss yet,” he mocked back. Even though we were both full of happiness, I knew it was one-sided. He had everything in the world to be happy for and I had nothing. He might say not to go out and do this investigation alone, but I was doing what I wanted to anyway.
There was no stopping Devon Mitchell from doing whatever he wanted to do.
Chapter Four
Tegan
“You look so beautiful, Tegan.” His voice purred in my ear and my insides turned to mush. He knew exactly what to say to get me to melt. He was my one and only weakness.
“Hey, wake up, bitch, I need more coffee over here,” a greasy looking man yelled. Sigh. This was now my life. I hurried behind the counter getting the coffee, wondering for a slight second what would happen if I just poured this whole pot of coffee on this man’s head. Bet he wouldn’t call anyone a bitch again.
Instead, I poured the coffee nice and neat, gritting my teeth the entire time. Not a peep was said on my part. This was a tough part of town, a tough part of life. I took the job here six months ago.
“Tegan, table ten needs toast,” Tony said behind the grill. I could hear the sizzle of bacon and eggs on the griddle.
“Yeah, yeah,” I mumbled busying myself. No work meant thinking, and thinking meant my mind would wander to a time when life was good—when it was worth living for. I quietly folded silverware as I waited for the toast to pop up, and then I buttered the two pieces as I sat them on a plate and took them out to the table.
The look of disgust on the man’s face wasn’t a shocker to me. No, I had gotten used to the sourpuss faces. No one here was nice, at least not customer wise. I shuffled across the floor, mentally planning my day out. I needed to stop at the grocery store on the way home, and I had a stack of homework about two stories high. Oh, and then there was that new book that just came—
“Ma’am?” a man questioned as he took a seat at the counter. His voice was deep and robust causing vibrations in my chest.
Turning around, I said, “Yes?”
Who called people ma’am? My eyes lingered over his black suit. It was perfectly tailored and his face was that of a Middle Eastern man. His dark blue eyes reminded me of someone. He looked rugged, rough around the edges, but slightly handsome. Too handsome. A handsome that screamed wealth. Did I know him? I scrambled for something in my mind to give me a hint. There was a name on the tip of my tongue. Then it dawned on me… They were here to collect the debt. Fear trickled down my spine. Didn’t I have a few more months?
“Menu, please,” he asked politely though there was a violent look in his glare as I gripped the menu in my hands before handing it to him. Even after he took it and opened it, I stood staring. His mere presence had frozen me in my spot, I couldn’t move. Fear and a deep-rooted curiosity held me to the floor. He didn’t come into this restaurant for food. No, he came in for me.
“Is Tony here?” he asked, his eyes trained on the menu. What did he want with Tony? A tumbling ball of emotions erupted in my belly. If he wasn’t here for me, then why was he here?
As I stood there trying to find my voice, I realized he had to be testing me. He already knew the answers to every question he was going to ask. He simply wanted to see if I would lie through my teeth or be honest. In that fleeting moment, I chose honesty.
“Yes, he is. Would you like me to get him?” I asked as politely as I could between clenched teeth. This moment right here reminded me of why I had to work such a shit job. I was working for my very right to breathe.
“No. I’m sure your expertise could be used instead.” The way expertise rolled off his tongue had my knees quaking. This man was fluent in exotic things including sex. I was sure of it. All I knew was I didn’t want to be the next item on his list.
“What is it that you want?” I stumbled over my words. Maybe I had thought wrong. Maybe this whole thing was a trick. Maybe asking for Tony was a cover up. Racking my brain for a name to the face before me, my mind flicked over a memory.
Liam. His eyes. His smile. The charm that exuded from him.
“See…” He dropped the menu and leaned into my breathing space as I got my notepad out to take his order—as if he would be ordering anything but my death. The way his eyes lingered on me had me hoping it was only my death he was here to order. He was watching me as if I were his prey.
“You know why I’m here…” His tone was tight as he wrapped his hand around my arm, squeezing to the point of pain. Biting on my bottom lip, I stifled the cry that was begging to be released. I knew I had more time. What I didn’t know was why he was here before my time was up.
“I know and I’m trying, okay? I still have time to get your boss his money.” My tone was above pleading as his grip on my arm tightened. I was sure once he let go his fingers would be imprinted on my skin serving as a reminder of the power he had over me.
“Tegan, you’re a beautiful woman. I don’t care for hurting women as alluring as you... but, if you try to fuck me over, your beauty will be the least of my worries.” His breath was hot on my face as his eyes lingered on my lips. It was then I knew, when he looked at me, he saw one of two things—dollar signs or a sex object. Both of which I wanted no association with.
“I’ll… I’ll have the money…” There was nothing more for me to say to him. There wasn’t even a point in crying. Tears wouldn’t bring me the money I desperately needed.
It would just add more self-loathing to my plate, eventually slowing me down.
Damn you, Jamie. Loving someone had once again brought me to my knees, except this time, it could very well cost me my life.
“Good…” He smiled, releasing my arm with a shove. I stumbled back pulling from his touch, only to hit the counter behind me. The space between us was a welcoming feeling. In a flash, my notep
ad fell to the floor as I gripped the edge of the counter until my knuckles turned white. It was as if I were trying to push my way out of the room.
I hated the situation I was forced into and I wanted to lash out, yell, scream but being defiant would do me no good.
Defiance would only break me. I couldn’t handle anymore breaking. I simply wanted to pay the debt and move on with my life.
“Now, is Tony here?” The finalization in his voice told me he wouldn’t be asking again. Our conversation was now over. He was dismissing me.
“Uhh…”
“What the hell is going on in here?” Tony’s voice drowned out my own, interrupting me before I could even answer. His face said it all as he looked between the two of us. I kept my face downcast as to bring less attention to myself. The tension in the room was so thick you could choke on it.
Immediately, my thoughts shifted. Was Tony working with this man, too? Tony had given me this job, but was there really any way I could trust him? My instincts said no, and before things could spiral out of control, I ran. Pushing off the counter, I ran to the nearest exit. I headed through the door into the kitchen and out the back door running as if my life depended on it.
The cold air hit my skin, reminding me I was outside away from the monsters lurking in the light of day. I gulped in the fresh air, praying he had left by now. After all, wasn’t the whole reason for him being there was to frighten me, to remind me of the debt that was to be settled?
“Are you okay?” Tony’s voice reached my ears, and I whirled around clutching my chest. Was I okay? That had to be a trick question if I ever heard one. The fact that Liam was there only served me right. Tony had to be working with them.
“Yeah, I’m fine,” I lied sucking in another breath. I felt as if I were starved of oxygen.
