by J. L. Beck
I was a smidge away from losing my shit. Hell, my patience left the moment I saw her face. “Listen up, and listen very carefully to every single word I fucking say,” I barked, leaning across the table and into her space. “I ask the questions, you give me the fucking answers. Being my mother means nothing to me when you didn’t give two fucks about me when I was growing up. Now, put your selfish fucking needs to the side and give me the answers I need. I won’t be telling you what the information is for, so don’t even think about asking. It wouldn’t matter anyway though because you’d be in jail long before you find anything the fuck out. So less beating around the fucking bush and more telling me what it is you know. You have ten minutes before I call the cops and tell them all about the ‘family business.’”
“Devon Mitchell, how dare you threaten me?” Her voice was whiny, maybe even needy. I would be lying if I said I didn’t contemplate putting a bullet in her head myself at that second.
“It’s not a threat, it’s a promise. So do as I say. By the way, you’re currently down to nine minutes. Tick, Tock,” I declared.
She mewled around, looking for something, before pulling out a cigarette and lighting it. The smell of smoke immediately overwhelmed my senses as she took a huge puff off the tip.
“You know all about the drug dealing, son. The same men who did that when you were here currently own Diamond Royale. Now, I haven’t been able to get into the higher ups, but the word on the street has it they do a whole lot more than just drug selling. Money laundering, gang related stuff, prostitution, and human trafficking.”
That explained a lot. These were all things I knew or suspected at the very least. A casino of that size and of that magnitude had to be using dirty money.
“What else?” I nudged her on.
Her face wrinkled up in distaste as she blew out a tower of smoke.
“What more do you need to know?”
“Maybe who the fuck owns it?”
Another laugh escaped her lips, as well as a ragged cough. “Son, I told you who runs it. The drug dealers who we all used to work for. Your best bet is to start there on the streets and work your way up to the casino.”
I rubbed a hand down my face, reminding myself how fucking stupid it was to come here.
“Thanks, mother dearest,” I said in a condescending tone. I shoved myself up from the chair. I was barely out of my seat when I felt her touch on my arm.
“You have to promise to protect me, Devon. Your father is still out there dealing and we can’t get caught. They’ll kill us if they find out I told you anything.” Her voice was pleading. It’s funny when she needed something from me, we could negotiate.
“I won’t tell anyone who gave me the info. Just stay the fuck off my radar. I don’t need any more trouble than I already have.”
Her eyes glided over my face for a moment and then slipped down to the floor as she nodded. I pulled open the front door with ferociousness and headed out to my car, not even caring that I didn’t get all the answers I needed. One could only hope Tegan got something out of Tony.
Chapter Fourteen
Tegan
Devon frightened me.
Not in a ‘scare the ever loving shit out of me’ way, but in a way that caused my blood pressure to rise and my mind to fly out the window. He forced me to let go of the past with one look and because of that, he was dangerous.
Dangerous to me and for me.
I ran from the Tahoe, not wanting to stop for a second until I was sheltered and unseen by him. When he grabbed me in his truck, my body immediately responded as he threatened me with his harsh tones that sent my mind into overdrive as the memories of him slipping his cock into me entered my mind. I wanted to strip myself bare, climb over the console that separated us and ride him. Hard and fast. Right there, in broad daylight for anyone passing by to see. What the fuck was wrong with me? In one night, he had turned me into a wanton creature full of fire, desire, and passion.
“Jesus Christ, Tegan. I have been looking everywhere for you.” Tony’s voice broke through my thoughts as I turned from the window of the diner to face him.
“Well, here I am. In real life form. Breathing, talking, you know, alive.” I laughed softly.
“That man told me he was taking you home, but when I stopped by your apartment to talk to you and make sure you were okay, you weren’t there.
“His eyes examined me for wounds that he was sure I had. Anxiety showed in every pore of his face as one of his hands continuously ran through his hair like a nervous tick or something.
“Well, as you can see, I’m alive and well. No need to worry,” I reassured him. The look on his face said it all. You’re crazy. Which I already knew. I was one fry short of a happy meal.
“Just because you’re breathing doesn’t mean anything. What did that man do to you?” he questioned apprehension in his eyes. Was he that worried about Devon?
“Nothing, he is just someone I used to know. Anyway, that’s not why I am here. I actually came here to talk to you about something,” I said, uneasy. When I left this place, it was a disaster. Looking at it now, you’d never be able to tell that a shootout took place in it.
“What do you want to talk about?” he asked, leaving me by the front door as he headed behind the counter. I followed behind him, taking a seat at the front counter. Before I could force the questions out of my mouth, there was a piping hot cup of coffee set in front of me and with it, two creams and sugar. I tilted my head up, smiling softly, startled by the fact he remembered how I liked my coffee. Especially, when I had only ordered coffee a time or two before.
“Well, as you know, Jamie owed those guys that came here a lot of money. I had been making payments to them and thought everything was okay since I still had several months left to get them their money. But after everything that happened here, it seems worthless to continue doing. I mean, it’s obvious they’re over the whole getting their money back thing. Now all they want is me dead,” I exclaimed. Only I could talk about my own death like it wasn’t a weird thing.
Tony’s face looked impassive for a moment as he leaned down over the counter. His eyes roamed over my face, not stopping until his eyes were on my lips. From there, he stared for what seemed like an eternity. It looked as if he had been contemplating something, but then suddenly decided against it.
“I know the shit Jamie dragged you into. I don’t know how he could be so fucking stupid. Now he’s gone without a trace while you’re being held responsible for something you knew nothing about. If you want me to, I could talk to my parents and see if I could get some information about those guys who came in here. Maybe I could tell you where to go or who to talk to?” It sounded like he cared, and I wanted to believe he did, but it was getting hard to tell who your friends and foes were.
“Umm…” I nibbled on my lip for a moment. Did I want Tony getting involved in all of this? His family? Dragging them all into this shitstorm like Jamie did to me? Did I want him digging for secrets for me?
From simple looks he would give me here and there, I could tell he was invested in being more than a friend. I didn’t want to ask him for this favor if he expected something to come from it. Then again, my options were seriously fucking slim. It all boiled down to finding out what I needed or just waiting until they came to end my life.
“Here’s the deal, Tegan. Let me just see if I can find something out. I promise I won’t bring up your name or anything. I’ll simply see if I can get some names and maybe some phone numbers. Then you can make the phone calls and do the arrangement.” He was so convincing, his voice filled with concern. How could I say no to someone who wanted to help me? Someone who could help me because of his family ties? I couldn’t, not with my life on the line.
“Mmm... Okay, but I don’t think it really matters if you bring my name up or not. They already came looking for me so obviously, they know who I am. They won’t stop until my blood is on their hands. Hopefully, I can get them the money Jamie owes
before that happens.” I sounded defeated and with every hour that passed, I felt like it as well.
A lingering of strangeness seemed to follow me as anxiety filled me. I stared at Tony and for a slight second, I contemplated the idea that he could be lying to me.
“I just didn’t want to make it worse for you. That’s all,” he said with ease. He didn’t look guilty of anything, not one single thing, but it was always the quiet ones who never did. It was the guiltiest people, the sneaky bastards who failed to look like monsters.
“I understand and no worries. I honestly don’t think you could make it worse for me.” I faked a smile at him and glanced out the window. A chill ran down my spine, reminding me that truthfully, I was safe nowhere but in Devon’s arms.
“Okay. Anyway, you going to tell me who the guy was who took you out of here and how you know him?” he questioned as I sipped at the coffee he had sat in front of me.
“We dated when we were in high school. He broke up with me, left and I thought that was the end of everything until he came into the restaurant.” My cheeks grew red at bringing up Devon and I, and I wondered if Tony thought I was lying.
“Hmmm... Why did he have a gun then?” His question could come off as an innocent one I suppose, but something told me it wasn’t.
“He carries it with him for protection,” I lied, straight through my teeth with a smile on my face. He carried that gun to take down the bad guys. That’s why. But I wasn’t about to tell him that. I had known Tony for a while and had grown to confide in him, but there was something in the pit of my stomach, something in the back of my mind, something telling me I couldn’t fully trust him when it came to information about Devon.
“Yeah, I don’t blame him. Especially with all the fucked up people in this town,” he agreed before heading into the back of the restaurant. Every once in a while, his eyes would glance up to meet my own, but what I found strange was the unknown presence lingering in his eyes that I couldn’t quite put my finger on.
Sitting in the diner, I realized I didn’t have my cell phone, wallet, or even the keys to my apartment. Without any of those things, I couldn’t do anything but sit here and wait patiently for Devon to come back, hopefully providing us with more knowledge than I could. With the exception of being rather interested in Devon, Tony was a lost cause.
I picked up my cup and headed to one of the booths in the back, grabbing the paper along my way. On the front in big, bold letters, it said ‘Diamond Royale Casino Planning Expansion.’ Fantastic. Just what we needed, a bigger casino that would without a doubt draw more trouble into this town.
As the minutes ticked by, two or three people walked through the door while my mind drifted back to the place it had when I first entered the diner. Devon. Last night.
He had done some elicit things to my body, made me feel sensations I have never felt before. Just thinking about it caused my core to ache in need and my blood to pump wildly throughout my veins.
Snapping out of the memories constantly invading my mind from last night, I looked down and it was then my eyes caught on the article about the casino again. My fists clenched in anger as I dared to think that Jamie would still be here if they hadn’t built that piece of shit in this town.
The rage I was feeling was completely abnormal to how I should be feeling. I love Devon, always have, always will, and I would be lying if I said it wasn’t always him, but Jamie didn’t deserve this fate. He didn’t deserve to be tangled up in the dirty ties of that casino. Bad things happened to good people sometimes, and I would like to think Jamie was a good person. After all, he had been there for me when I needed someone the most.
“More coffee?” Tony startled me, causing me to rip the newspaper straight down the middle. His eyes scanned the paper, lingering on the article I had newly shredded.
“Uhh…” I paused, getting myself together. Something was very off with me. Either that or Tony was off.
“Yes… Umm, please.” I stumbled over my words as he slowly poured coffee into my cup. I diverted my attention to the torn newspaper as a feeling of uneasiness trickled into my bones.
“Expansion on the Royale, as if it’s actually needed,” Tony said under his breath. I could feel it hot against my ear as he leaned in closer filling my cup to the brim.
“Yup.” I agreed with him.
“Jamie got caught up in some bad shit because of that fucking casino and now they want to expand. If anything, it should be dwindling away to nothing. I swear, ever since they built that thing, all that’s ever come from it is trouble.” It was as if he took the words right out of my mouth. Tony and I had never discussed the casino simply because it wasn’t something that could be talked about with his parents around. Nor did I want to bring up anything that had to do with Jamie.
Unsure of what I should say, I remained quiet.
“Stay away from the casino, Tegan. It’s nothing but bad fucking news. My parents work with the owners, so I know for a fact they aren’t the people you want to go up against. You know the kind of shit that comes in and out of that place. Drugs, money laundering... the fucking list goes on and on. Hell, there’s even prost—”
“Enough.” A deeper male voice interrupted him, causing a different kind of anxiety to form. An anxiety filled with want, desire, and primal need to feel him, just to know he was real.
Tension grew like the San Andreas Fault in three point five seconds flat. Tony must’ve sensed the change in the air because he pulled away, and with a sneer on his face, he took a step back and then another until he was slowly but surely walking away.
Once he was out of earshot, Devon slid into the booth seat across from me. He looked exhausted and lost as he stared into my eyes. His hair was a sandy fucking blond mess that looked as if he had been running his hands through it in frustration.
“Anything?” I questioned as I leaned onto the table. Weird how just days ago I was running from him, fearful of my feelings. Now, I would run anywhere to be within touching range of him.
“Nothing good.” He sighed as his biceps flexed and my mouth watered. I didn’t care that I was in deep. Instead, I wondered what it would be like for him to hold me against a wall and pound into me.
“Tegan.” I heard him call my name, but I didn’t want to leave my vivid imagination. I didn’t want to pull myself from the one place where I felt safe. My mind.
“Huh?” I accidentally said revealing I hadn’t been listening to a word he was saying. Darkness descended into his eyes. What did I say?
“You make me want to be something so much more than I am. That was the problem with us all along. You made me want to be something I knew I couldn’t be.” He was talking about the past or had to be.
“Lies,” I said softly, my hands wanting to reach out and touch him. He was like a magnet, pulling my emotions out of me. I didn’t know which way was up or down. I didn’t care about the danger surrounding us, or how we could die at the end of all this. No, nothing mattered nearly as much as his beating heart next to mine.
A soft non-humorous laughed escaped his lips. “Lies?” He repeated what I had said. “It’s not a lie, Tegan. I was never the good guy. I wanted to be for you, but I couldn’t. You are so damn perfect, always have been. Whenever I closed my eyes, I pictured you. I love you, you know that, but it doesn’t mean I’m right for you. It doesn’t mean what’s happening to us is okay or what I’ve done in the past is okay. It just means I’m over trying to stop the inevitable from happening and to do that, I have to be honest with myself. I’m not the man for you, but I am too fucking stubborn to let you go. I will show you our love is clearly invincible of everything, even the inevitable.”
I stared at him, my eyes full of lust and fury. I wanted to beat the shit out of him for talking so low of himself. He wasn’t right for me? I was perfect? If only he could see himself the same way I saw him... the way he saw me.
“That’s not true at all,” I whispered looking around the room to see if there were any pryin
g eyes. “You have always been the strong one. You always did the right thing. Letting me go…” I couldn’t even finish the sentence.
“Just stop looking for the good in me, stop trying to find something that isn’t there. You’ll be grasping at nothing for the rest of your life if you do that,” he whispered back to me before clearing his throat and continuing. “We need to talk about what I found out and what we’re going to do.” His posture was stiff now, his fists balled together. He looked as if he was on the verge of shattering, a splinter of who he was breaking away. It was fracturing him.
“I didn’t find anything out.” My voice was neutral as I felt the rift growing between us. My heart ached as I realized what it was he was doing. He knew something. Something that could cause us both great pain and once again, he was trying to protect me—us.
“I did. It’s nothing big, but everything I found out is leading straight to the casino.” He sounded conflicted and the more I thought about it, I wasn’t okay putting my life in his parent’s hands. They weren’t loyal people, and I didn’t know if I could actually trust them. After all, trust was earned— never given. I wasn’t going to give them the knife that could kill me.
“Explain,” I said sternly, watching him look around the room just as I had done minutes before. His eyes lingered on something behind me for a brief moment. I held my breath, praying nothing was about to go down again.
“She basically said we find the dealers and we find the casino owners. Sounds easy enough, but even I know it isn’t. She wouldn’t tell me who is in charge—as if she doesn’t know who the fuck she works for. Just kept repeating that the same people who are running the drugs are the owners. I know she’s hiding something though, but I didn’t want to push anything further. We’ve ruffled enough feathers today,” he said with a chuckle. “I need a way into the casino. Like a reason for being there. I am sure they know who the regulars are so if I don’t have a reason, and I am just in there peeking around, it will definitely draw attention.” He looked frustrated as a hand ran down his face and through his hair.
