Never Forget Him: Never Forget #1

by Lorraine, Tracy

  I grab the pyjamas and throw them in my suitcase. We’ll get separate rooms, it’ll be fine, I think as I pull my savings card from my desk. I’ll pay for my own room. It’ll be safer that way.

  “Hey, you ready?” Bax asks when he pokes his head into my room as I’m zipping up my suitcase.

  “I think so.”

  “Let’s hit the road then.”

  * * *

  “Where are we going?” I ask when we’ve been driving for twenty minutes. After spending all day at Arthur’s garage getting Peggy ready for her road trip, the sun is already setting.

  “I found this in my room.” Bax reaches behind my seat before dropping a bottle full of two pence coins in my lap. “I thought we could have some fun with those,” he says, pulling away when the lights change.

  “Oh my god, are you serious?” I know I’m acting like an excited child but I don’t care. My dad used to take me to the pier in Weston-Super-Mare when I was little. It’s one of my best memories with him.

  “I’ve been collecting them for years. Now seems like as good a time as any to spend them. I need food first, though.” Arthur made us a sandwich earlier but it’s definitely starting to wear off.

  Bax parks the car on the side of the road in front of a row of B&B’s. “Let’s find somewhere to sleep for the night, then dinner.”

  I follow him into the first B&B to be told it’s full, then the next, and the next. At this rate, we’re going to be sleeping in his car. It’s a nice car, but it’s not good enough to be our bed for the night.

  Thankfully, the forth B&B has a room left. I lose the argument about paying for it and Bax hands his card over after trampling any point I tried to make about why I should foot the bill this time.

  “Up the stairs, right at the end of the corridor, then it’s the door on the left,” the lady behind the counter says, pointing us in the right direction. “I would take you but I’m here on my own and trying to make dinner for some guests.”

  * * *

  Bax opens the door and gestures for me to enter. I take two steps into the room before I stop. Bax isn’t paying attention and crashes into the back of me, his arms coming around my waist to hold me up.

  “Shit, sorry. What’s the…oh,” he says when he sees what I’m looking at—a giant four-poster bed. “We can try somewhere else,” he offers.

  “We might not find anywhere else.” We drove past loads of no vacancy signs and I don’t fancy spending the night trawling the streets hoping to find something. This place is nice and clean, unlike where we spent last night, and although it’s only one bed, it looks pretty comfortable.

  “I’ll sleep on the floor.”

  “You don’t have to do that.”

  “Anything to make you happy.” I swoon a little at his words.

  After dumping our stuff, we head out to find a restaurant for dinner. There’s a bar and grill not far down the street, and we grab the last empty table.

  “So what do you do in the army?”

  “Recovery mechanic.”

  “You fix vehicles?”

  “Not really. We recover them when they’ve broken down or got into trouble.”

  “Oh, I thought with your car and everything you’d be working on them.”

  “I wanted excitement and my job definitely gives me that. The mechanics are usually at camp fixing vehicles whereas I’m out in the thick of it rescuing our men. I love it.” I can see in his eyes how much he enjoys his job, even if the thought of him being somewhere dangerous makes my stomach flip.

  “What about you?”

  “I’m doing business and marketing at uni.”

  “I thought with what you were doing earlier you’d have said art or something.”

  “No,’ I answer sadly, making his eyebrows raise in question. “My mum has a gift shop, it hasn’t been doing so well since the recession so I went with business in the hope of helping bring it back to life.”

  “You don’t sound like you enjoy it.”

  “It’s okay. I just want to help. The shop’s getting the better of her at the moment, it was her dream and she refuses to let go of it. If she carries on the way she is I’m convinced she’ll put herself in an early grave.”

  “You can’t do everything for her, Skittles. You’ve got your own life to lead and she shouldn’t be holding you back from that,” he says. It’s not the first time I’ve heard similar words. Frankie’s always going on at me.

  “I’m not doing it because she tells me to,” I snap.

  “I know, but it seems to me that because you’re nice and caring, she doesn’t need to tell you. Hell, I doubt she even needs to ask—she already knows you’re going to do it.” I hate that he can see right through me. I didn’t realise I was quite so transparent. He can tell there’s something off, because he reaches across the table and grabs my hand. “It’s not a bad thing, Skittles. You just need to make sure people don’t take the piss, and I can’t help but think your mum is, but probably without knowing it. Did you want do a business degree?”

  “Of course.”

  “Honestly, if you had your pick of anything, you’d have stayed in Bristol and done business?”

  I stare into his eyes for a bit as I roll the real answer to the question around in my head. “No.”

  “I didn’t think so. You’re too talented to be doing business.”

  “You’ve seen one drawing.”

  “All I needed to see.”

  We’re silent as we eat. His observations about my life choices hit a little close to home and have shaken me a slightly. I always dreamed of moving away from Bristol and doing something where I could be creative every day. Unfortunately, I never even got the chance to look at possible courses because I got sidelined into business. Bax is right; Mum never told me to do anything, but things were hinted, and as he says, I’m too nice and I went along with it all because it felt like the right thing to do. It leaves me with the question I try to keep pushing to the back of my mind. What am I going to do when Mum’s shop inevitably goes under? I’m left with a degree in a field I’m not interested in, and no qualifications in the field I want to go into.

  “Erin?”

  “Huh?” I look up to see Bax at smiling me and a bored looking waitress stood next to him with her hand on her hip.

  “Would you like pudding?”

  “Oh sorry, no I’m fine, thank you.” I smile politely but she still huffs as she walks off. “Sorry,” I say again.

  “Are you okay?” Bax’s eyebrows are drawn together in concern.

  “Yeah. It’s just what you said about my life.”

  “I didn’t mean to upset you.”

  “I know you didn’t, but you’ve nailed it. Everything you said is true, and it makes me wonder where it leaves me.” It also freaks me out that he has my life pegged when he’s only known me for a day, but I don’t voice that.

  “You’ll be fine, Skittles. I think you’re stronger than you give yourself credit for.”

  “You don’t even know me.”

  “I don’t think that’s true. One look at you in the club last night and I knew everything I needed to know.”

  I open my mouth to respond but nothing comes out. How can he say that? I’m a stranger to him.

  “Come on, let’s go have some fun. There’s plenty of time to deal with the serious stuff.”

  I can’t argue with that, so after paying the bill, we head off towards the pier. It’s so modern compared to the memories I have with Dad. I kind of like it though, because it makes me feel like I’m making new ones with Bax and not overwriting the old ones I’m so fond of.

  “How long do you think this lot will last?” Bax asks with a laugh as we stand just inside the arcade.

  “Two hours, tops.”

  “Let’s see.”

  We don’t get to find how long the two pennies would’ve lasted because we end up getting kicked out when they close for the night. We walk back down the pier hand in hand with wide smiles on our faces.
I feel light for the first time in a long time.

  “Walk on the beach?”

  “Sounds perfect.” And it is. The sun has set and there are a million stars twinkling above us. Amazingly the tide’s in and the only sound is the waves crashing onto the sand.

  We walk with our hands intertwined for a long time before Bax stops. He takes me closer to the water and we sit on the last bit of dry sand.

  “Do you ever worry you’re not going to come out of some of the situations you get put in?” I ask.

  “Of course. I’ve been in the middle of some very hostile situations, but that’s what I signed up for. It’s also what gets my blood pumping. I feel alive in the middle of it all, and like I’m really making a difference.”

  “My dad was in the army,” I admit. “He died in service when I was little.”

  “I’m sorry.”

  I give him a small smile and shrug my shoulders. What’s done is done. “I’ve always told myself I’d never fall for a soldier. Mum fell apart after he died. It’s an image I’ve never been able to rid from my head.” When I look up, Bax has a shit-eating grin on his face.

  “What?” I run through what I just said in my head and then panic. “Oh no, no, no,” I say adamantly, shaking my head.

  “We’ll see about that. Now tell me, Skittles, when was the last time you did something wild?”

  “Uh…” I think he already knows the answer is probably never.

  I watch as he rises to his feet before pulling his hoodie over his head. “Come on, get up.”

  “Why?” I ask sceptically. I have only one idea as to what he could be planning on doing, and I’m fairly adamant I’m not up for it.

  “We’re going for a late night swim,” he says.

  “You can. I’ll watch from here.”

  “Don’t be so boring,” he says as he toes off his shoes and drops his jeans.

  He throws his discarded clothes up the beach a little before running full speed into the sea. He doesn’t even flinch, and I know for a fact it must be fucking freezing. He splashes water everywhere and makes a right show of himself. Thankfully, it’s dark and there’s no one around to witness his antics.

  “Come on,” he encourages. “It’s lovely.”

  “Nope.”

  “Strip and get your cute little arse in here, or I’ll come and get you myself and you’ll end up in here fully clothed.”

  We stare at each other for a full minute having a silent argument, him trying to convince me to join him and me standing firm with my refusal. It’s not until he starts moving towards me that I cave, because as much as I really don’t want to join him, surely being able to get out to dry clothes is preferable.

  “Fuck’s sake,” I scream at him as I start unzipping my jacket.

  “That’s more like it! Strip for me, Skittles.”

  My face flushes red. It’s only Bax who can see me but I think his eyes on my almost naked body are going to be worse than a stranger’s.

  The second my jeans hit the sand, I run into the sea, not wanting his eyes on me for too long.

  “Holy fucking shit, Bax, it’s fucking freezing,” I squeal as the cold assaults my body.

  “Keep moving, you’ll soon warm up.”

  “I can’t believe you convinced me to do this.” I try to slap his shoulder but he’s too quick and my wrist ends up trapped by his fingers. He gives my arm a quick tug and in a second I’m pressed up against his almost bare body. A shudder runs through me when I feel his heat against me.

  “You need to let your hair down more. You’re young, remember that.”

  “You’re not,” I say, pointing out the fact that he’s clearly older than me for the first time.

  “Hardly.” His eyes flash as he lifts me up so my belly button is in line with his nose.

  “Bax, no,” I squeal in a panic. “Please no, Bax, please,” I beg. I may be okay with water but I have a huge fear of my head going under.

  “Okay, okay,” he says softly as he lowers me slightly.

  When I look down, he’s gazing up at me but he looks lost in his own thoughts.

  “It’s Jay.”

  “What is?”

  “Me. My name’s Jay. Well, Jayden really. Bax is what the boys call me. My surname’s Baxter,” he says.

  “Why are you telling me this now?”

  He loosens his arms and I slowly start to slide down his chest. It’s not until our eyes are level that he answers my question.

  “You’re not one of the boys.”

  “Who am I then?” I’m too lost in his eyes twinkling in the moonlight to put much thought into what I’m asking.

  “Definitely not one of the boys.” As he says it, his hands slide down my back and grab on to my arse. He pulls me tighter to him and I feel something press into my stomach.

  I clear my throat, the sudden tension taking me by surprise. “No, I’m not.”

  “No, you’re not,” he repeats before running his nose against mine.

  As I stare into his eyes, with our lips milometers apart, all I can think is how badly I want him to kiss me again. The memory of our kiss by the harbour yesterday isn’t enough.

  He stops moving and we stand stock still in the water with him holding me tightly, my feet a few inches from the seabed. He looks deep into my eyes and that saying about someone being able to see into your soul suddenly doesn’t seem so stupid.

  It feels like an eternity but eventually he leans forward and presses his lips against mine. I moan the second I feel their heat and he must sense my approval because he opens his mouth and runs the tip of his tongue along my bottom lip. I don’t waste any time in responding.

  What started out as something soft and gentle soon turns into something much, much more. I lift my legs so they wrap around his waist, and my hands alternate between running over his short hair to gripping on to his shoulders. It’s not until I feel the vibrations of his groan that I realise I’m moving my hips. Oh shit.

  I pull back and immediately avert my gaze from him.

  “What’s wrong?” he asks, slightly breathlessly.

  I try to let go of him but he holds me too tightly to be successful.

  “Erin?”

  I look up at the moon as I try to pull together what to say to him. “It’s just…I haven’t…uh…I don’t…”

  “Hey,” he says as he nudges my cheek with his nose. He clearly doesn’t want to let go of me in case I run. Reluctantly, I turn to him. The look on his face takes my breath away. His eyes are dark and hungry but he has this sexy smirk playing on his lips. “It’s okay,” he reassures. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have pushed you. We can take this at your speed. This,” he says, flexing his hips, making me gasp at the sensation, “isn’t what this is about.”

  The look on his face is so sincere I have no reason to doubt him. “Thank you,” I whisper. I lean forward slightly when I realise how badly I want to resume our kiss, but instead of doing the same, like I expect him to, Bax, or Jay, pulls back.

  “Maybe we should get out.”

  “Oh.”

  “Trust me, Skittles, it’s not because I want to, it’s because I have to. We stay like this and I can’t promise I won’t do something I shouldn’t.” To prove his point, he flexes his hips again, pressing his hardness into me.

  “Okay,” I mutter as I unwrap myself from him and begin heading towards the shore.

  It’s not until I’m out of the water that I realise how cold I am. Jay had successfully distracted me but now my teeth are chattering, and try as I might, I can’t get my skinny jeans up my damp, sandy legs. Jay doesn’t seem to have the same issue; when I look up, he’s almost fully dressed.

  “Here,” he says, handing me his hoodie.

  I pull it on and just like his shirt last night, it almost comes down to my knees. “Thank you.”

  “Our B&B isn’t far.”

  Once we’ve got our shoes on, we make our way back for two hot showers. Being the gentleman he is, Jay tells me to go
first and I’m too cold and sandy to argue, so I grab what I need and head into the bathroom. I intend on being as fast as possible but once the powerful jets of water hit me, that goes out the window.

  I spend longer than necessary putting moisturiser on my face and faffing with my hair, even though it will always dry exactly the same: straight as a die and falling just past my shoulders.

  I give myself a once over in the mirror. My cheeks are still rosy red from the chill of the sea, and my eyes are still alight with the feelings Jay brought to life when he kissed me. I look down at the silky cami and short set I’m wearing. I feel completely exposed with my breasts only just covered and what feels like the bottom of my arse hanging out. If it’s possible, I feel more naked than I did in just my underwear on the beach earlier, even though there’s more fabric.

  I take a breath and square my shoulders as I grab the doorknob. I am confident, I say to myself as I pull the door open. I’m a grown woman with a body I shouldn’t be ashamed to show off.

  The second I step into the doorway, he looks up. His eyes pin me to the spot and I stand there as looks over every inch of me. I might be barely covered in floral silk but the way he’s staring at me right now, you’d think I was naked. My heart pounds as his eyes burn into skin, leaving tingles in their wake.

  When his they come to a stop, staring at my tits, I manage to remember how to speak. “Your turn.” I don’t even recognise the sound of my own voice.

  I move to sit myself on the edge of the bed, and eventually he gets up and disappears into the bathroom. He doesn’t say anything—not that he needs to, because his eyes say it all, and I’d be lying if I said it didn’t freak me out. It’s not often I think this, but I wish I could be more like Frankie right now and be able to embrace what’s happening between us, to put all my insecurities and fears to one side and enjoy everything Jay’s offering, because I want it—of course I do. The feeling of his hands on me is incredible, but I’m scared to take it further.

  He doesn’t spend as long in the bathroom as me, and when he emerges, he’s just wearing a clean and dry pair of boxers. I’ve got myself into bed and pulled the covers up to my neck in a pathetic attempt to hide from him. It doesn’t stop him running his eyes down my body. He knows exactly what it looks like, how it feels, even with the duvet covering me.