And now she feared that no matter how wonderful it was, it would still leave her wanting. Still leave her longing for Jesse.
Jesse stood within the night shadows beneath a tree near the front porch. He hadn’t planned to come to Amelia’s party.
He’d been one of a half dozen ranch hands selected to show the arriving guests where to park their buggies. In his whole life, he’d never seen so many fancy-looking men.
He could tell that Mitch had been disappointed to see all these gentlemen arrive. Amelia certainly wasn’t going to lack for suitors—or dance partners.
After Jesse had given oats to all the visiting horses, compliments of the judge, he’d gone to the bunkhouse and stretched out on his bed while the other men had gussied themselves up for tonight’s event. He’d thought he might suffocate on the smell of all the hair oil they’d been using.
It wasn’t until after they’d left that he’d decided he wanted to take a bath. That had led to his shaving, trimming his hair, and putting on the white shirt he’d stored in the small trunk beside his bunk after the trip to Fort Worth with Amelia.
He’d decided that since he was spruced up, he might as well just mosey on over. Now he stood there, trying to gather his courage to step inside.
Light spilled out through the windows. He heard a cacophony of sounds: laughter, voices, music.
The door was open, inviting folks in. Every now and then he’d see people pass through the entryway. But he had yet to see Amelia. It was her special night. With so many guests, he doubted he’d be noticed.
All he wanted was to catch a glimpse of her.
Shoving his hands into his trouser pockets, he walked into the house. He felt self-conscious, but he was also enthralled. Jovial voices and laughter echoed around him.
In the judge’s library, men smoked cigars. He’d never seen as much food and drink in one place as he did in the dining room, where people stood around holding plates and eating while they talked.
He thought the men far outnumbered the women. His suspicions were confirmed when he wended his way through the crowds and finally entered the parlor. Young men lined the walls, while those fortunate enough to have claimed a woman were dancing to the music provided by several older men with violins.
Candles flickered in the gilded chandeliers, illuminating those who waltzed in the center of the room.
Jesse’s gaze was immediately drawn to Amelia—as though no one else existed. He’d always thought she was pretty. Tonight she was stunning.
Her hair was piled on top of her head. Curling tendrils bounced along the nape of her neck. Her green dress revealed her alabaster throat and shoulders.
But her appeal went beyond her clothes. Her eyes sparkled like emeralds held up to the sun. Her smile dazzled with its brilliance.
Her obvious joy radiated around her—around her and her partner.
She was dancing with Mitch Monroe.
Amelia was having the time of her life—and yet she felt as though something were missing. No matter with whom she danced, her gaze kept darting beyond her partner to take in the men standing along the walls, to see who was there—and who wasn’t.
She’d never before danced continuously; she’d never before had constant attention paid to her. She knew she should have been warmed by the flattery that each gentleman bestowed upon her.
But no one was truly able to hold her attention. No one made her heart kick up into an excited beat. No one made her palms grow damp. No one made her ache with longing when he kissed her hand before passing her on to the next fellow for a dance.
Every now and then her gaze would fall on Robert and Colleen. He’d obviously convinced her to dance with him, and just as obviously he wasn’t willing to allow anyone else a turn—if anyone had been foolish enough to ask.
It was so incredibly apparent watching them that they had eyes only for each other. Their gazes were locked. Neither was distracted like Amelia was—always looking for something more.
She envied them their contentment with each other. She wished she could feel satisfied with the evening. She knew she had no reason to be disappointed. The night was wonderful, the gentlemen were charming and handsome, and her father was beaming with pride.
But then she caught sight of the reason for her discontent. For the span of a heartbeat, she saw Jesse in the crowd. Her heart kicked up its tempo as it rejoiced because he’d come after all.
And just as quickly he disappeared, and she couldn’t have been more disappointed.
“Amelia, did you hear what I said?”
She returned her attention to Mitch. “What?”
He laughed lightly. “I was wondering if you might like to take a walk with me outside.”
A walk sounded wonderful. More time spent with Mitch, however, didn’t. And she couldn’t explain why. He’d been working for her father for three years now. She’d always enjoyed his company, knew he had an interest in her. He was handsome, fun.
She also understood that he wanted more than a walk. He wanted to take her somewhere private for a kiss. She could see the desire reflected in his eyes. And she simply wasn’t interested.
“I’m sorry, Mitch, but I promised Thomaston the next dance.” Although she suspected the young banker would be willing to step aside.
The music drifted into silence.
“Perhaps later,” he said, then kissed the back of her hand.
True to her word, she danced with the banker, and then she waltzed with her father.
“Are you enjoying yourself?” he asked.
She smiled brightly. “Of course. Aren’t you?”
“Not really. It’s difficult to watch all these men showing such a keen interest in my daughter,” he admitted. “Makes me realize that before long I’ll be losing you.”
“Oh, Papa, you’ll never lose me. I’ll always be your little girl.”
“Perhaps. But you’ll be some man’s wife, some child’s mother. Choose wisely, Amelia,” he cautioned.
“I’m not in any hurry, Papa. As a matter of fact, I’m contemplating attending a university.” She took a deep breath and confessed, “I think I’d like to become a lawyer.”
He gave her a speculative look. “Anyone in particular you’re looking to defend?”
She laughed. “It’s a little late to defend Jesse, if that’s what you’re thinking. But the more I get to know him, the more he seems like an unlikely person to be an outlaw.”
“He admitted it, Amelia. For whatever reason, he stole.”
“I’m not saying what he did was right. I just think things are a bit more complicated than we realize. And if you didn’t feel the same way, you wouldn’t have given him this chance to finish out his sentence here.”
He grinned. “Maybe you should study the law. You always did like to argue.”
The music came to an end, as did the dance with her father.
Then there was Robert. “I’d like a dance with my sister,” he said.
When the music began again and they were dancing, Amelia said, “I’m surprised you’d give up a dance with Colleen.”
“David wanted one dance with her, and I wanted to thank you for convincing her to come.”
She smiled. “You like her a lot, don’t you?”
He nodded. “More than a lot, actually. She’s given me permission to court her.”
“Oh, Robert, that’s wonderful!”
“I’m pretty happy about it, and I intend to see that she’s happy, too. I’m sorry I couldn’t talk Jesse into coming.”
But he had been here, for only a moment.
“I don’t know what to make of the outlaw,” Robert said quietly. “He broke the law, but he seems like a decent enough fella. I actually think under different circumstances he and I could have been friends.”
Amelia couldn’t help but wonder if under different circumstances she and Jesse could have been sweethearts.
The music drifted into silence.
“I need to get back to Collee
n,” Robert said.
Amelia watched him walk away. She was so incredibly happy for her brother and Colleen.
A gentleman quickly approached. Amelia smiled at him and shook her head. “I think I’m going to sit this one out.”
“Would you like me to get you something to drink?” he asked eagerly.
“Thank you, but I’m going to step outside for some air.”
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
On the back porch, Amelia looked out on the night. A full moon sent its silver beams over the landscape. A warm breeze toyed with her hair.
She took a deep breath and smelled the honeysuckle her mother had planted years ago. At special moments like this, she missed her most of all.
It seemed as though she’d waited her whole life for this one night, this moment when she was allowed to step over the threshold into womanhood. She’d anticipated its arrival, and although it was far grander than she’d imagined it would be…it still left her wanting something more.
She saw a movement out of the corner of her eye. Turning slightly, she spotted Jesse leaning against the house, a silhouette outlined by shadows, his white shirt in stark contrast to the night.
She stepped off the porch and walked over to him, voicing what she knew she wanted more than anything else. “Come inside and dance with me.”
“You don’t want to be seen dancing with an outlaw, Amelia,” he said quietly.
“Maybe not, but I wouldn’t mind being seen dancing with Jesse Lawton. I saw you inside earlier. Why didn’t you stay?”
“Because it hurts.”
Concern furrowed her brow. “Your ribs are aching?”
“No. It hurts to see all the things I’ve never had, everything I’ll never have.”
“You could have it all, Jesse. As soon as you’ve finished serving your time, you can do anything, be anything you want,” she said earnestly.
“You really believe that, don’t you?” he asked quietly.
“With all my heart. You robbed a few banks. You shouldn’t have done it, but you never hurt anyone. Papa believes there’s good in you, or he wouldn’t be giving you this chance. And I know there is or I wouldn’t be standing here with you now.”
“You’ve got a passel of men inside the house wanting to court you.”
“I know, and not one measures up to you.”
“Amelia, you don’t even know me.”
Taking his roughened hand, she threaded her fingers through his. “I know you’re gentle with animals. They’re not easily fooled, Jesse. But they trust you.
“I know you’ve had a hard life. It doesn’t sound like anyone ever treated you fairly. Maybe you got lost for a while, but with a little guidance it seems to me that you could travel a road that would take you to grand dreams.
“You’ve run away from so many people in your life, Jesse. I think you could run from here and my brothers wouldn’t find you. No matter how good they are at tracking. You’re better at running.”
She lifted her gaze to his. The darkness didn’t prevent her from seeing the blue in his eyes. The color was written on her heart. “Don’t run from me,” she pleaded softly.
“You don’t know what you’re asking, Amelia,” he rasped.
“So many people have hurt you, Jesse. Trust me not to.”
“But what if I hurt you? My past—”
“Is your past. Let it go.”
Music drifted out of the house, soft and low, lyrical and sweet. “Dance with me.”
“I can’t. Not inside,” he said quietly.
“Then dance with me here.”
“Amelia, I’ve never danced,” he said. “I watched the couples inside, but I don’t know if I can do it.”
Her heart ached at the shame that she heard reflected in his low voice.
“It’s not that hard, Jesse.”
Sensing his hesitation, she tightened her hold on his fingers and placed her other hand on his shoulder.
“Put your free hand on my waist,” she told him.
When he did, she said, “Simply step back and I’ll follow.”
His steps were awkward, slow, hesitant, not the movements of a true waltz, not taken in beat to the music. But she didn’t care.
At long last, she was experiencing what she’d expected to feel all night: anticipation, a thrill, absolute joy.
She had danced with bankers, lawyers, businessmen, cattle owners, and cowhands. She’d danced with wealthy gentlemen and men whose greatest gift to her would be their hearts.
Yet none of them touched her as Jesse did. None made her soul sing, her heart pound, or her body tingle.
What was it about him that drew her in? His soulful eyes? His tragic past? His undetermined future?
She couldn’t really say. She knew only that when she was with him, she felt as though she was truly becoming the woman she’d always imagined she could be.
In time Jesse began to move with a poetic rhythm, holding her close as though she were as precious as hand-blown glass. In the faint moonlight, she could see that his gaze never wandered from hers. It was as though they were alone in the world, and at this moment, she had no desire to be anyplace else.
The music wafted into silence, but she still heard the strains echoing around her as she and Jesse ceased to waltz.
He bent his head and touched his mouth to hers. Within his kiss she sensed all the loneliness he’d held at bay, all the hurt that haunted him, all the love he dared not hope to find. He poured himself into the kiss, and she could do no less.
Rising up on her toes, she wrapped her arms around his neck and returned the kiss with equal yearning for all that might be: for dreams promised, but as yet unfulfilled.
For all they might share if only they were both willing to take the risk.
Walking toward the bunkhouse, Jesse realized that for the first time in his life he felt like whistling a joyous tune. Amelia believed in him. Believed in his goodness. Thought he was worthy of her affections.
He was sure of her feelings. The warm way she’d looked at him while they’d danced. The manner in which she’d melted into that kiss.
When she’d spotted him beneath the tree watching her, she could simply have gone back into the house. Instead she’d approached him.
She made him think that he could do anything he wanted. He could raise horses, as he’d often dreamed. Breed them, train them, and sell them. Make a decent living.
But more than that, she made him believe that maybe he could acquire all the things that so many folks took for granted. A house that carried the scent of a woman, that rang with laughter. A place where people could feel good about each other and not hurt each other.
A place where maybe other boys without parents could come and work. Jesse would never beat them or make them feel worthless. He’d praise them for their efforts and encourage them as he’d never been encouraged. The way he saw Tanner telling the men when they did a good job.
He’d never realized how important words were. More often than not, the back of a hand had told him when he was doing wrong. Or the booming voice of a judge in a courtroom.
Amelia was right. He could travel down a different road and give himself a life he could be proud of. And maybe, eventually, he could share that life with her.
He almost laughed out loud. He was getting way ahead of himself here. First he had to finish out his time, and then he could see about pursuing some of his dreams.
But until he’d met Amelia, he’d never contemplated truly following them.
He neared the bunkhouse. Not a glimmer of light escaped from the windows. He figured most of the men were still at the house, vying for Amelia’s attention. He practically wanted to shout with the joy bubbling up inside him. He’d never in his life been this happy.
As though anything was possible. All things were achievable.
From out of the shadows someone lunged toward him. Before he could react, a hand clamped over his mouth and an arm wrapped around his chest, pinning him against a
hard body that was dragging him deeper into the night.
He tried to buck free.
“Stop fighting me, boy!” a harsh voice demanded.
Recognizing the voice, he did as instructed. But his heart pounded unmercifully and the blood thrummed between his temples, making him dizzy.
It couldn’t be. It absolutely couldn’t be.
The man removed his hand from Jesse’s mouth and quickly spun him around. Jesse could barely see the face clearly in the shadows, but he didn’t need to. He recognized the scent of whiskey and stale cigar smoke.
“Pete, what are you doing here?” Jesse asked.
He saw the familiar grin take shape in the distant moonlight. Pete was a big man with a thick neck that had saved him from the hangman’s noose.
“Heard you was out of prison,” Pete said in a voice that sounded as though he still had a rope pressed against his throat. “Just wanted to see for myself.”
“How’d you hear that?” Jesse asked.
“Me and the boys was passin’ through Fort Worth. Stopped in a saloon. You know how I enjoy a good saloon and an interestin’ poker game.”
Jesse nodded. “Yeah. I remember.”
“Well, now, I was playin’ with a couple of fellas this evening. One kept exercisin’ his jaws, tellin’ us about this big celebration that a judge was puttin’ on for his girl. Judge Harper.
“Then the fella went on to say how the judge had made arrangements to have an outlaw serve out his time at his ranch. Dang it, boy, my glass eye ’bout popped out of its socket when he said your name. And I knew I had to come see you.”
“I’m glad you did, Pete, but I’m not sure it’s wise for you to be seen around here.”
Pete chuckled low. “You ain’t changed much, have you, Jesse? Still worryin’ ’bout ol’ Pete.”
“It’s just that the judge has all these rules—”
“Rules don’t bother me, boy. They never have. I figure they were made to be broken.”
“Yeah, but—”
“No buts about it. Now, I want you to listen careful, ’cause I got us a plan.”
Jesse’s stomach started to tighten. Pete’s last plan had landed him in prison.
“Pete—”
“Shh, Jesse. I need you to listen now. My hearin’ ain’t what it used to be. I’ve lost my talent for opening safes, so me and the boys have had to turn to other means to make our money.”
Amelia and the Outlaw Page 13
