"Yes," she blurted, trying to ease the tension between them. "Yes, we need to talk."
He seemed to relax slightly; the set of his shoulders less rigid. This wasn't easy on either of them. She had so many questions but she didn't know where to start, or even if she should even ask them. Maybe it was far too late and it didn't matter anymore.
It matters to me.
She waited for Noah to say something but he seemed to be having a difficult time finding the words he wanted to say. It was in her nature to be uncomfortable with silences, but she forced herself to stay quiet while he organized his thoughts.
"It was a surprise to see you at my door last night," he finally said, his gaze on the wooden planks at their feet. "Frankly, it was a shock and I've barely recovered. In a way, I still keep thinking that I'm going to wake up and all of this was some crazy dream."
It was a shock for me, too.
His gaze swung up and their eyes met, sending a jolt through her system. Intense. That was the only way to describe it.
"I'm guessing you were shocked, too. Neither of us knew..."
Liz finally found her own voice. "It was a surprise. I never thought I'd see you again."
He turned his body so he was facing her, his arm on the back of the bench just inches away from her shoulder. The craving for his touch was real. So close.
"Did you ever think about me?" he asked, but then jumped up and began pacing, his movements jerky. "No, don't answer that. It's not fair to ask that without me telling you first. I've thought a lot about you over these last two years. I've never been able to get you out of my head completely and believe me, I’ve fucking tried."
This was Liz's cue. She should say something. She should tell him that she'd thought about him, too. Far more than she should have. But he wasn't done yet.
"That morning...I was awake. Shit, I know you know I was awake. I wanted to argue with you. I wanted to tell you that we should try. That it was worth it. I regret not saying it. I let you walk out of my life and I've regretted that ever since."
Liz had known that Noah was awake. She'd heard the change in his breathing, but she hadn't said anything to him. It was so painful to leave him. She'd kept telling herself it shouldn't hurt because she barely knew him. It had only been a few hours, but it felt like her heart was being ripped from her chest with someone's bare hands. She'd cried the entire way out of the hotel and in the cab to the airport, all the time feeling like a fool.
Because he hadn't said anything. She'd assumed he hadn't wanted her to know that he was awake. That he didn't want to do the "morning after" thing with her. If he'd pushed that morning, she would have given him her phone number.
"I feel like we're being given a second chance, Libby. I feel like the universe is sending us a message. I don't want to let this pass us by. I've never forgotten you. Did you ever think of me?"
She opened her mouth to reply and then snapped it shut again. She had so much to say and she didn't know how to express any of it. So much had happened since she'd seen him last.
She'd never forgotten him. She'd thought about him often. But she wasn't Libby anymore. She wasn't that person and he didn't know that. She was messed up and had a truckload of emotional baggage, but she couldn't deny the chemistry between them.
Honestly, she'd never felt anything like this with another man. Only him.
And that universe was a crafty son of a bitch, sending her here just when she'd been frustrated and restless with her life. She wanted...more. More than she'd allowed herself in a long time. Noah was more. Her head was telling her to turn away but her heart... It wasn't going to listen and for the second time in her life, she let it run the show.
"I've never forgotten you, either."
10
Liz didn't have the words to describe the changes she'd been through since she'd last seen Noah.
It wasn't that she hadn't told her story before. She had, multiple times to family and friends. To the police, as well...afterward, although she hadn't known what all she had to look forward to. The trial was the worst. She still had nightmares sometimes about that. Not as much as in the beginning, but every now and then when she was stressed and tired.
"Will you drive me back to Dizzy's house? There's something I want to show you."
It was easier this way. He could see the evidence for himself.
He glanced back at the women sitting on the porch. "Do you need privacy? They can't hear us."
"I know that. No, it's more than that. Please?"
"Of course, I'll take you back. I can imagine that you're exhausted. My family can be overwhelming."
From this moment, honesty had to be the policy.
"Your family is wonderful. It's you that's overwhelming."
His brows shot up and for a moment she could see uncertainty cross his features. She'd expressed herself poorly. She probably would again.
"I mean overwhelming in the best way. Not the worst. The whole situation has me off kilter."
His expression relaxed into a smile. "Me too. But in a good way. Let's go inside and I'll tell Mom and Dad we're going to head out."
"Will they be upset? We can wait until later."
She liked the Andersons and she didn't want to be rude.
"They'll be fine with it. Just give me a minute and then we'll go."
It took almost twenty minutes to actually make their exit, after thanking her hosts and then saying goodbye to everyone there. Mallory gave her a smile of encouragement and the thumbs up sign. It helped knowing that her friend was in support of what Liz was about to do. When they were done, Noah bundled her into his humungous truck and drove toward town.
I'm beginning to get my bearings around here.
"I've never seen a truck this big."
"It is big," Noah agreed with a laugh. "It's for working on the ranch. I have a regular car but I didn't bother with it today. Do you think I'm trying to cover up some feeling of inadequacy by having a big ass truck?"
If he meant penis-inadequacy, then...no. He had no deficiencies there.
"I just never pictured you with a truck like this."
"How did you picture me?"
She could only inwardly roll her eyes at her own stupidity. He was going to think she was an idiot.
"On a horse. You said you worked on a ranch so..."
Now he was laughing harder than before. At least she could say that she was amusing.
"I guess you were picturing the classic cowboy. We do have horses and sometimes we use them, but most of them time we use trucks or ATVs. Do you like to ride? We can do that if you like."
"I've only been once," she admitted. "It hurt to sit down for three days."
His sidelong glance could have steamed up the cab of the truck if she hadn't already rolled down the window to let in the fresh air.
"We don't want you to be sore from...riding. We'll see what we can do."
They'd gone from friendly to hot in less than three seconds. He had a dirty mind and damn, if she didn't as well. She could practically see the filthy images from that night in the hotel that were running through his head. She ought to know. They'd haunted her many of times.
So...that tension was back. It had been gone for a few minutes but the awareness between them had ramped up even higher than before. Every cell in her body was acutely aware of him, sitting only inches away. She couldn't help but study his profile as he concentrated on the road.
He was just as handsome and sexy as she remembered. She'd assumed that she'd built him up in her mind, but no, he was gorgeous. His jaw was firm, his cheekbones impossibly high, and his nose was slightly crooked but it didn't detract from his movie star good looks. If anything, it made him more approachable, more human. Imperfections made art more beautiful, and so it was with Noah as well.
His dark brown hair was slightly longer than before and there were a few curls at the nape of his neck that her hands itched to reach out and touch. She had vivid memories of running her fingers through
those silky strands as she rode...
Whoa. Just...whoa. She needed to get ahold of herself. The temperature in the truck had risen about twenty degrees and she almost asked Noah to turn on the air conditioner. What she needed was to turn off her libido. Sex had never been that important to her in a relationship but something about this one man had her panting after him.
They had chemistry, an intense physical attraction. Did they have more? They'd talked for hours and she'd genuinely felt an emotional and intellectual connection to him that night, but it was two years later. While their bodies hadn't forgotten did their hearts and heads have a chance of catching up? Was she even capable of a relationship with another human being anymore? If her last boyfriend was allowed to weigh in, the answer would be no. He'd left her in no doubt that it was her, not him that was the problem.
Noah pulled into the driveway next to her own car and killed the engine. Quickly jumping out, he rounded to the passenger side and helped her out the truck. It was a hell of a long way down and falling was a real possibility. She wasn't always the most graceful. Luckily, Noah's strong hands wrapped around her waist and literally lifted her from the seat onto the pavement. He heart fluttered in her chest at his show of chivalry and she chided herself at being impressed in the least.
It's not that big of a deal.
But I liked it.
From habit, she looked over shoulder and then around the perimeter of the home. Mallory had left a light on in the front window and also locked the doors, although she had mentioned that few people in Tremont even bothered with that. Liz couldn't even imagine that. Even in the before of her life, she would have always locked up her house.
Using the key that Mallory had given her, Liz opened the front door and ushered Noah inside, closing and locking the door behind her and then sliding on the chain. If he thought any of her behavior was strange, he didn't say so out loud.
"Would you like something to drink?" she asked as she placed her oversized purse on the coffee table. "We have iced tea, wine, milk, or water."
She and Mallory had made a trip to the grocery store to stock up on essentials. They'd need to go again before the other bridesmaids showed up.
Noah shook his head. "I'd just really like to talk. You said that you wanted to show me something."
The time had come. There was no more delaying the inevitable. She'd known she would tell him the moment he'd opened his front door and stood there like God's gift to women.
She wanted him to understand. Everything. Even the crap that she didn't yet understand about herself. Maybe he could explain it to her.
"You're right. I did say that. Give me a minute. I need to get something from my room."
Slipping into her bedroom, she retrieved the item she needed and then rejoined him in the living room. He'd taken a seat on the couch, which was perfect as she planned to place her display right in front of him on the coffee table. She arranged her items, retrieving the last two from her purse, and then sat down on the cushion next to his.
"This. I wanted you to see this. It surprised Mallory and she asked me about it."
This was her self-defense kit. Pepper spray, stun gun, and handgun. Her friend had been appalled, but Noah didn't appear nearly as bothered.
"What about this is supposed to surprise me? Okay, I think the stun gun is sort of a surprise but a handgun and some pepper spray don't seem like a big deal, especially as you drove here by yourself, but then I'm no stranger to guns. I have a rifle in the truck box and I've been shooting since I was a kid."
Sighing, she reached out and ran a fingertip over the handle of the stun gun. "Would you believe that not long ago I was sort of anti-gun? I didn't want to take guns from people or anything, but I didn't understand why anyone would want to own one unless they were a hunter. I thought people who bought them for self-protection were delusional. I didn't think the world was all that dangerous. What were they scared of?"
Something in Liz's tone must have snagged Noah's attention, because he was gazing intently at the coffee table and then at her. His forehead was furrowed and she could almost see the wheels turning in his head.
"You say that you didn't think that the world was dangerous. But you do now?"
Her throat threatened to close up and she had to swallow hard to keep speaking. "I do."
He didn't reply, leaving the ball in her court. She wasn't sure where to begin so she might as well start where she left him.
"After I left you at the hotel, I got a taxi to the airport. My flight was on time and I was able to make it to the office by early afternoon. The important meeting I needed to attend started at two in our main conference room. I grabbed a soda and made it in plenty of time. There were about five of us in the meeting, and about ten minutes in we heard a scream."
Images from that day, some sharp and others fuzzy crowded her head. Her stomach twisted in her abdomen and the delicious food she'd just consumed at Sunday dinner threatened to make another appearance. She had to pause and take several deep breaths to calm her racing pulse. She could still hear that scream in her nightmares.
"The scream came from one of our newer and younger tellers. She had a gun pointed to her head. That's why she'd screamed."
Liz hadn't allowed herself to look directly at Noah since she'd began speaking, but she couldn't help but take a peek at his expression now.
Troubled mixed with fear. He was afraid of what she was going to say next.
That made two of them.
Placing her shaking hand on her knees to steady them, she went into automatic mode, reciting facts. Facts were easier to deal with. Her emotions were far messier.
"Our bank was being robbed. Three armed gunmen had taken over the bank and wanted all the cash on hand. I'd never been in a bank robbery before, but from what the police told me later is that most of the time they get their money and they leave. They're there as little time as possible. That didn't happen."
She had to pause for a moment to take another breath and swallow the bile that had been creeping up her throat. To his credit, Noah hadn't interrupted but she could feel the tension in his body even a foot away.
"This particular bank robbery team had hit a few banks and gotten away with it. This time, they didn't realize they were being monitored by the police. The cops had somehow figured out where they were going to hit next and they were right on their heels. Shots were fired and it got ugly fast. Everyone they could find were taken as hostages and they herded all of us into the vault area and kept us there at gunpoint. Our lives were threatened several times and we heard them threaten to kill us one by one if their demands weren't met. We were all terrified."
Her voice shook slightly and her legs and hands were trembling. She could still feel the fear that had crawled inside of her that day and had never left, her constant companion.
"And do you know what I thought about while I was sitting there, Noah? It was all I could think about." She turned, their gazes colliding. His normally soft blue eyes a stormy gray. "I kept thinking that if I had just stayed with you in the hotel room that I wouldn't be sitting there. If I had just called in and told my manager I was sick and that I could conference call into the meeting, I could have stayed in that warm bed with you. But I hadn't and it was too late. I was going to die and I was never going to see you again. And you would never know that I regretted my decision."
Noah had his head in his hands, his fingers scraping through his hair. "God, Libby–"
She hadn't been Libby in a long time. She'd tried to put that person completely behind her.
"Please, I need to finish this before I lose my nerve. Unfortunately, my story isn't over. That was really only the beginning."
Her voice was hoarse, like sandpaper and the tears were beginning to burn the backs of her eyes, but she had to keep going. She had to keep her emotions under control. After all this time, she was damn good at pretending that she was fine in front of other people.
He nodded, although it was clear he
wanted to speak. He sat back in the cushions of the couch, his shoulders braced as if waiting for a blow to the ribs.
"The standoff went on for several hours, but eventually they gave up and the police came in and arrested them. After I gave the cops my statement, an officer drove me home. He said that I'd been brave, but I didn't believe him."
Restless, she stood and walked over to the window overlooking the front yard. The residential street was quiet, no cars or people in sight.
A cold began to creep over her, chilling her right to the bone. She couldn't take the emotions swirling inside of her so she ruthlessly pushed them away. Not now. Maybe later. It was funny how later never seemed to come around.
"You see, I didn't feel brave, and that feeling only got worse as time went on. I went back to work two days later–" She laughed at his incredulity but not because it was funny. It was because her action had been stupid and ill-advised. "Yes, I went back to work right away. The bank was open and I had a job. Most people went back, except that young teller that had screamed. She didn't ever go back. We all thought she was being dramatic but I think she may have been the smartest of us all."
"The bank executives brought in counselors for all us so we could work through what had happened. It was clear to me in the first ten minutes of talking to her that she wanted all of us to say that we were fine. So that's what I told her. I think I might have even believed it at the time. Of course, I couldn't have been more wrong."
She heard him move and then he was standing behind her, not touching but she could feel the urgency without him having to say a word. He wanted to comfort her but he didn't want to be pushy, either.
"I promise I'm not going to break down." If anything, she was numb. It was a protective mechanism that she used at times like this and she'd almost perfected it. Until yesterday when she'd seen him in that doorway. It had ripped away at the facade she'd been wearing. Everyone thought she was fine. "Really, I won't. I can't do this unless you give me some space."
Dancing With Danger (Danger Incorporated Book 10) Page 7
