by Trisha Leigh
“Come here, Althea. Don’t be scared of her.”
Wonder blooms in my belly, and the joy on his face brings me closer to the animal. I go slowly, sensing her hesitance, until I stand next to Lucas. He hands me a carrot and I cup it, stretching my arm out until my open palm sneaks under her face. She could bite my hands off, but I don’t think she will.
Breath fills up my lungs and I hold it there, standing like a statue as her kind face dips down. The air whooshes out as her lips whisk the carrot out of my hands. She’s so perfect, so utterly pure. My heart feels ripped open; the stitches I used to close it up when I left Portland and the only semblance of an actual family I ever knew are busted and gone. This animal, with no effort at all, makes me care again. Makes me feel alive and a solid part of the world, instead of like a stranger shimmering on its edges.
In this instant, I think I understand the real reason the Others separate us from the animals.
Lucas shatters the moment when he extends a hand to touch her side. At the first feel of his fingertips on her flank she pulls back, carrot forgotten as it falls to the earth. Her eyes flick in fear and she bounds away, tail disappearing into the trees before either of us utters a sound. Lucas turns back, his eyes moist. “She was so soft. Scared of us, though. Wonder why.”
“You shouldn’t have done that.”
“Why not? Did she look violent to you? Or like a million germs crawled over her?” His defensive tone raises my hackles.
“No. I meant scare her. You shouldn’t have tried to touch her without…”
“What? Without her permission?” He quirks a smile my direction.
“No. I was going to say until she was comfortable.”
“So, what do you think now, about the animals?”
I consider as we continue deeper into the trees, offering a smile of reconciliation. The answer is nothing the Others have ever told us. “I love her, and I love it out here.” A sad sort of loss sweeps through me. I’ll never see her again. “But deer eat plants, you know, not people.”
He laughs; the sound relaxes me even more. I check my watch after a few more minutes and am startled to see we’ve been moving for well over an hour. We emerge from the thick trees and stare not at the collection center, but at the park boundary. We went in a circle.
“Well, that didn’t work.” Lucas’s wry tone makes me laugh.
“We’re going to have to try again tomorrow.”
A huge oak tree to our left has a triangular cutout near its base, almost like a little cave. Lucas kneels and unloads the contents of his backpack, shoving them into the hole.
“What’re you doing that for?”
“Easier than sneaking them back out tomorrow, right?”
The walk home is slow; for once we have plenty of time. Neither of us talks, and my mind wanders back over the horrors of our recent lives, irritation at missing a chance to talk to the woman depressing me. We hide in the trees as a Warden passes by in front of our houses on his 2 a.m. patrol.
When the coast is clear Lucas catches my lips with his, surprising me, then turns and sprints inside. I follow his lead and drag myself up to bed.
***
The next morning a funny feeling captures me and holds me tight in its clutches. The past several days contain both infuriating and wonderful memories. They jumble inside me, resulting in nausea more than anything. The odd mood persists through breakfast and follows me out the front door. Lucas waits on the sidewalk in front of the house in between ours, his smile a little awkward. It hasn’t dawned on me to feel weird about kissing last night. He sort of looks like he feels weird though.
“Hey.” Lucas pecks my cheek, sounding normal.
We make small talk on the way to Cell, avoiding a rehash of our failed attempt last night. A heaviness settles over me as we part ways for our morning blocks.
Deshi, looking and smelling like a corpse, accosts Lucas at lunch so they sit alone instead of with us girls. I can’t say this upsets me, but it makes me nervous for Lucas. He acts pleasant and chatters away to Deshi during the period. The performance looks good from here.
In chemistry, the Monitor appears on the screen and calls our attention to her lesson. It might be possible for my Cellmates to focus, but for me it’s out of the question. All I can think about is how little time we have left to figure out what we’re going to do alone in a room with a Warden.
After block, Lucas leans over to whisper in my ear, his cool breath tickling my neck. Tingles work their way up and down my body, delicious and long lasting.
“I have to use the wasteroom. Meet you out front.”
I imagine turning my head toward him, our mouths touching. My eyes close and I lick my lips, nodding my understanding. He lingers a moment, breath skimming loose strands of my hair against my skin. We’re frozen. Like we’re stuck together, each unable to move. Lucas finally straightens up, but when our eyes meet his tell me moving wasn’t easy for him either. His lips tip up, making my heart go even faster. He has to get out of here before I die. This day has been hard enough on my heart and my nerves without him smiling at me like that.
My way out of the Cell is unobstructed with no Deshi to intercept me. Come to think of it, except for at lunch today, I’ve barely seen him around lately. I bounce from one foot to the other, having trouble standing still while there’s so much to figure out. A few minutes later Lucas strides toward me, his face ashen. Terror melts out him and puddles in my queasy stomach. “What happened to you?”
He doesn’t answer. “Just walk.”
It takes an eternity to walk beyond Cell grounds. My knees tremble hard by the time we leave everyone behind. Lucas stops walking and bends over, putting his hands on his knees and gasping.
“Lucas. Lucas! You’re scaring me. Tell me what happened.”
“I saw something.” He stops, swallowing hard before he continues. “I was using the wasteroom like I told you, and Deshi came in while I was in the stall. I knew it was him because of his death cologne. It’s nauseating, worse than the last time we smelled it. Much worse.”
“And?”
“I stood on the disposal so he couldn’t see my feet. I don’t know why. So he did his business and went out to disinfect his hands and I peered out through the crack in the door. His face—” Lucas stops, paling further at the memory.
Patience isn’t easy right now, but he rewards mine by picking up the story again when he’s ready.
“The reflection in the mirror wasn’t his face. It was an Other. Deshi’s an Other.”
CHAPTER 23.
“No, he isn’t. He can’t be an Other, Lucas. We’ve spent time with him, talked with him. He’s a human Barbarus.” My voice climbs to a higher and higher pitch. Defeat washes through me even though part of me has known it since the night I Broke Mrs. Morgan.
“I’m telling you what I saw, Althea. He’s an Other hiding in human skin.”
A dark, unbidden realization slithers into my conscious mind. It makes me gasp out loud and grab Lucas’s arm for support.
“What is it?”
“What do you think it means that an Other chose to make his body smell like springtime? That his eyes are blue like ours but all wrong in his face? That he sought us out to latch onto, kids who are different, too?”
If possible, even more color drains out of his face, until he resembles a snowy winter day. My thoughts become his and my fears register.
His voice echoes the one screaming inside my head. “They know about us: how we smell, how old we are, that we’re Terms. The Others are here looking for us.”
“Why?”
It’s the biggest question of all and neither of us has the answer. We separate in front of the Crawfords’ house, parting ways with more ease than usual because we have another attempt at reaching the collection center scheduled. This time I have a plan to keep us from going in circles.
Back outside the boundary later that night, I point up at the sky. “How good are you at astronomy?”
>
“As good as anyone else who’s been taught that crap for two hours a day for ten years.”
“Me, too. So, the sun goes east to west, and the Archivist said walk into the afternoon sun. West. We just need to get our star bearings and make sure we walk in the right direction.”
Lucas nods, studying the winking lights smeared across the midnight sky. Finally he lets out a relived chirp. “I’ve got it. If we keep Regulus in front of us, we should go the right way, and straight, too.
“You’re a genius. Let’s grab some waters and get moving.”
We find the huge tree without any trouble and I squat down to retrieve the items Lucas stowed in the trunk last night. A squeak emits from inside and I pull my hand back, but not fast enough. A furry black-and-white animal runs through a wet, cloudy stench and escapes into the blackness.
My eyes sting and water as a racking cough rattles my lungs. Fire licks its way down my throat, burning pain searing the tender tissue.
This is it. I’m going to die.
Lucas runs to my side and kneels on the wet earth, holding a hand over his nose and mouth as he inspects me. The coughing subsides and he hands me a water bottle out of the now unoccupied tree trunk. I pour the clear liquid over my face, and use a blanket to gently rub it around my burning eyes. After several minutes my eyes and throat have recovered, but the stink clinging to me isn’t fading, not a single bit.
I’ve never, ever smelled anything like what that thing sprayed on me. I’ve never heard of such an animal, don’t know what it’s called, but I wish it would come back so I could kick it. It gives me none of the warm fuzzies offered by last night’s deer encounter.
Lucas watches my self-cleansing from a few feet away, his eyes sparkling and merry. “Are you okay?”
“Oh, what, you think this is funny? What if it kills me!?”
Lucas dissolves into laughter, working hard to stay on his feet. I get up, snatch another water bottle, and crash through the brush.
He catches up but keeps his distance. “I’m sorry, Althea. It’s not funny.” He has to wait until his stupid grin is under control before continuing. “I’m sure you won’t die, but if you’re worried let’s go back.”
“We can’t go back. The woman is only going to be there one more day. If I’m going to die from animal poisoning, I’d rather do it out here, anyway.”
Lucas speeds up and leads the way, staying a step or two ahead of me. “Sorry. Gotta stay upwind.”
He settles down after about a half an hour and I forgive him for laughing. Now that it appears I’m not going to keel over dead, I suppose there is humor in the situation. It would be a lot funnier if it had happened to him, though.
This makes two animals we’ve encountered, and neither one tried to kill us. In fact, they both exhibited fear—the deer running and the little furball tonight spraying me with his foul odor in order to escape. My opinion continues to change, little by little, experience by experience. These animals, so free and wild and uncontained, seem to be doing nothing more than living their lives. I even forgive Stinky. I must look pretty scary to him.
If we opened the boundary, they’d probably choose not to come in.
The Others’ determination to separate the uncontrollable speaks volumes about what they might do to Lucas and me, two creatures also outside their influence in so many ways.
“Althea, what else do you think we can control?”
“What?”
He sighs, exasperated at my lack of attention. “You know, we can control hot and cold. We can get around the veils or whatever controls human minds. I was just thinking…what if we could stop traveling? Or only do it when we want to?”
The idea swishes into the recesses of my mind, forcing me to look at my life in a different way, a way in which I’m in control of what happens to me. Not traveling at all would be my first choice, but if we could do it ourselves we could get out of autumn, escape Deshi and the Wardens and our interviews. My shoulders sag at a memory. “The day after the Gathering, Sarah’s father said Wardens were at the Upper Cells in all of the places we travel. We can’t get away. Besides, traveling has hidden us before because they’ve never been aware of us. But Deshi’s an Other and he certainly isn’t going to forget about us if we disappear. If anything it will prove beyond all doubt that we’re worth looking for.”
“But as a last resort, maybe. We can’t avoid them forever, but jumping seasons could buy us some time.”
“You think we could do it the same way we use the hot and cold—by focusing our emotions and pushing?”
“The big problem is figuring out how to stay together when we try it. I mean, we could pool our emotions together maybe, if we were touching.”
The suggestion immediately makes me wary. “We might hurt each other.”
“Especially you, with those fire hands.”
“Funny.”
We walk on, checking the sky every ten minutes or so to maintain our direction. My watch says twelve-thirty when Lucas stops, stretching out an arm to block my path. Up ahead, lights filter through the forest.
We creep forward, taking care to make as little noise as possible, and stop at the edge of the clearing. A small clapboard building rests in the center, spotlights directed outward on all four sides. No sound or movement suggests anyone is around and no lights glow in the windows.
Lucas pulls me back into the trees, pushing a finger against his lips as he gags at my nearness. Worry tinges my excitement and adrenaline pumps through my blood. His breathing and the pounding of my heart fill the silence, but nothing else. Then I hear what Lucas does. Squishing noises like the ones our footsteps make in the leaves.
Coal black eyes poke around a thick tree and the terror abates. It’s not some version of threatening wildlife, but her. The Other we trekked out here to find.
“Hi.” Pleasure fills her eyes, now the color of midnight. “It is so nice to see you two together, I…what is that smell?”
She leans toward me and takes a delicate sniff before retreating several steps and laughing, a tinkling sound more pleasant than anything I’ve ever heard. She reaches out to Lucas but he pulls back, closer to me.
The not-Other sighs. “I’m happy you decided to come. It’s good you don’t trust me; Ko did an excellent job with those notes. If you’ll come inside we can talk.”
A squeak slips through my lips and Lucas’s breath slides out of his lungs in a gurgle. She is connected to Ko.
“Who are you?” Lucas demands.
“A friend to Ko. And a friend to you, whether you know it or not. I’m Cadi.”
Enticing us out here could be a trick, but in all honesty, that doesn’t make much sense. The Others have incredible technology and mental capabilities at their fingertips. If they did know for sure Lucas and I are the ones they’re looking for, they’d just come and take us. They can change everyone’s memory back to normal afterward and it will be as if we never existed at all.
Jitters bounce through my insides, half excited, half nervous. The woman, Cadi, starts toward the little building, and I meet Lucas’s eye.
He shrugs. “This is why we walked all the way out here. You ready?”
“We don’t have to trust her all the way yet, right?”
Lucas’s face tightens before he gives a curt shake of the head. “No way. Let’s just see how we feel after we talk to her.”
He takes my hand and we step into the clearing.
Cadi glances back and a small smile tugs at the corners of her pink lips. “I must say, I’m impressed the two of you have the nerve to leave the city boundary.”
Pride fills her voice and my curiosity grows. Anticipation speeds my heart at the prospect of learning more about my life. A million questions infuse my thoughts and fight to get out of my mouth first, but caution still holds me back.
She stops at the front door and faces us. “Why don’t we go inside and get you cleaned up, Althea. That smell is impossible. Lucas, if you don’t mind, please t
urn around and close your eyes while she gets out of those clothes. I’ll come back and get you once she’s soaking.”
Lucas hesitates and I know he’s worried about losing sight of me. Normally I’d agree with him, but cleaning this stench off is worth a small risk, an opinion I communicate to him with a look.
Cadi notices our silent conversation and smiles. Lucas walks ten paces away and turns his back. I strip off all four layers of clothes, my limbs trembling more and more violently each piece I remove. Bumps decorate my pale skin and my teeth chatter. When nothing but my bra and underwear remain, Cadi tosses the rest in a pile, takes my hand, and leads me inside. My thoughts are frozen into a complete blank.
We pass a small living area and an even smaller kitchen before entering a mint green tiled cleansing room. A huge, white basin with clawed feet takes up more than a quarter of the room. Candles flicker on the edge of the tub and sink, casting shimmying shadows on the walls.
Cadi leans over and turns on the water, plugging the bottom when the liquid starts to steam. “This part is going to be unpleasant, I’m afraid, but that smell isn’t easy to get rid of.”
“Do you know what did this to me?”
“It’s called a skunk. Scared little things, really. Nearly sightless but they have a good defense mechanism, wouldn’t you agree?” She raises an eyebrow at me, humor lighting her face.
“Sure,” I respond dryly. “Am I going to die?”
“No. Goodness, how I hate what the Others have done to this planet. Let’s go out back.”
“Out back? Why?” The thought of going outside, into the freezing wind, hurts my head.
“I need to hose you off and scrub you down with a solution that will break down the scent.”
I have no idea what she’s talking about and honestly don’t care. If it will get rid of the smell, fine. I follow her out of the cleansing room, casting a longing look at the steaming water, and try to prepare myself.
Ten minutes later icy water droplets cling to every inch of me as Cadi leads me back inside. A glimpse in the mirror reveals blue lips and frozen strands of hair. I strip the rest of the way and sink into the tub. Steaming water stings my frosty skin at first, but feels better than just about anything, ever.
