“Sure,” I agreed, nodding my head at the unfamiliar name.
“Have you ever heard of them?” he asked.
“No.”
He glanced up at me and smiled wide before brushing his long hair back with his hand.
“Wow,” he said as he slipped the CD in. “You really have been sheltered.”
The theater was old and rundown. Rocky Horror Picture Show flyers were tacked to the vintage ticket booth. William paid our admission without question, even though I offered to pay for my own. We decided not to stop and get snacks at the neglected concession stand to save room for dinner. The theater only had one projector screen in a room that seated nearly forty, so I expected to see at least some people, but the place was empty. The walls were wooden with carved patterns of angels and peeling white paint. It had a musky smell and a dingy look that only added to its authenticity. It looked like it might have been an actual acting theater in its prime.
“I used to come here a lot,” William said. “It’s been sort of neglected, but it was a really beautiful place once.”
“How do you find these kinds of secret places?” I asked.
“People with secrets need places to keep them.”
I stared into him, like maybe if I looked hard enough I’d be able to figure things out on my own. “I wish you would just tell me what’s going on.”
“I told you I’d tell you everything, but you still owe me half a date.”
The lights went down almost as soon as we took our seats even though we were still the only two in the theater. Since it was just us, we could have talked, but we didn’t. I wasn’t sure where William’s mind was, but mine was all over the place. In between playbacks of our night in the library, my thoughts picked up on the feel of his arm against my own or how his knee seemed to drift toward the bare skin of mine. Although my eyes stared in the direction of the movie screen, they were not watching.
“This is my favorite scene,” he whispered into my ear. We were alone, so there was no need for the intimacy, but I liked it.
The whole experience seemed to flicker by in a matter of seconds, and I wished I could bargain with time for just a few more precious minutes. When the credits began to roll, I was reluctant to leave such close proximity—closeness that made my skin tingle. I waited until the very last words left the screen before I dared break away from it.
“Hungry?” he asked.
Jose’s Mexican Food was written in red letters on the front of the building. A sombrero hung off the hook of the ‘J’ and a set of maracas was painted on the end. The place had character, making me think it probably wasn’t a chain restaurant. It had simple brown stucco, a red roof and Spanish tiles. Inside, the walls were painted pastel green and pink, and the Mexican flag hung proudly in the entryway.
“Do you want a margarita or something?” he asked me after we seated ourselves in the corner booth.
“Not twenty-one yet.”
“Right,” he answered with a chuckle. “Me either.”
“Hey kids,” said a heavyset Mexican woman greeting us. “What can I get you to drink?”
“Just some waters. Is that okay?” he asked me.
“Yeah, water is fine.” I’d probably drink straight cod liver oil just to sit next to him.
“All right. Here’s some menu’s. I’ll be back,” the waitress said, excusing herself.
“So what do you do for fun when you’re not being forced to go on dates?”
I laughed. “Yeah, because that happens every day.” I practiced looking away from him, something I found extraordinarily hard to do. “I don’t know. I like to write poetry, do crosswords, boring stuff.”
“Sounds like you need to get out.”
I shrugged. “Well, what about you? What’s your idea of fun?”
“A night out with the one and only Miss Elyse Ellen Adler, of course.”
I looked away again. He knew my full name. I hadn’t expected that. My gaze stayed down, but I noticed how his eyes tended to fall intently on me when he thought my attention was elsewhere. Luckily our waitress came back fairly quickly with our drinks and flipped open her note pad.
“Okay, here’s some chips and salsa with two waters. You ready to order?”
William nodded for me to go first.
“The grilled chicken burrito for me,” I answered.
“And some carne asada tacos,” he added.
“All right. Let me take these,” she said picking up our menus.
As soon as she left, William started back up with the questions. I liked his questions. As pathetic as it was, it made me feel like he really was interested in me, and I let myself indulge in the feeling, something I might never feel again.
“Have you noticed anyone else following you? Any new friends since you’ve moved here?”
“Aside from Kara? No, and as new friends go, you’re pretty much the first,” I answered truthfully.
“Good.”
As long as we were asking questions, I had one for him.
“How did you know my name?” I asked.
“I’ve always known it.”
I grabbed a chip and began nibbling nervously.
“How? Do you work for the government or something?” The question sounded ridiculous. He was too young, too casual to be anyone official.
“Oh yeah. I’m a super spy,” he said with a straight face. Then his expression cracked. “No, I don’t work for the government, but you’re right to be cautious. You shouldn’t be so trusting of people.”
“Of you?”
“Luckily, I’m the one person you can trust.”
I found myself immensely curious about him.
“I’m just glad I found you first.” He took a drink of water, staring at me over the brim.
“Here we go. A grilled chicken burrito and carne asada tacos,” our waitress announced, breaking the intense moment. “Anything else I can get for you?”
“No, I think that’s it,” William answered.
I kept my eyes on him as he spoke to our waitress.
“Can I ask you something else?” he asked, turning back to me. “Getting back to our date.”
“Sure,” I shrugged, biting into my burrito.
“If you could sum up your whole life into a single flavor, what would it be? What do you think your life would taste like?”
I laughed. “I don’t know. That’s a strange question.” I thought about it though. It would have to be something bitter, but still sweet in a way, something that looked better than it tasted.
“Maybe . . . semi-sweet chocolate?”
“Only semi-sweet?” he observed.
“I have my reasons,” I defended. “What about you? Something sugary and delicious?”
“Hmm, I have to rethink it. It’s definitely changed since I met you.”
He smiled at me, and I recoiled a little into the cushion seat of the booth, throwing my eyes immediately in a different direction—away from his.
“Peanut butter,” he decided.
“Why peanut butter?”
“I have my reasons,” he mocked.
“It’s not very sweet.”
“No, but it goes well with chocolate.”
“Oh,” I said as my face flushed with heat and I took another bite to try and hide my obvious smile. “I like peanut butter.” I wasn’t used to these sorts of flattering comments.
“You know,” he said. “I might have to change it to carne asada tacos . . . these are pretty good.”
It was already dark outside when we left the restaurant, even though it seemed like we had just come from my house. The hours had flown by unaccounted for.
“I just want to make one more stop,” he said, putting on new soothing music. Every once in a while I’d glance over at him, tapping his hand on the steering wheel and bobbing his head to the beat. It was hard not to enjoy myself. I didn’t really care where we went, but I wasn’t expecting it to be the grocery store.
“I’ll be right back,
okay?”
“Sure,” I said. At least this would give me some time to think.
I needed to decide what to do. The earlier I ended things the less it would hurt, so I would have to say something tonight. The knot formed in my stomach again. It wasn’t fair. I felt tears of frustration begin to form, and the constant battle between head and heart raged through me. I had no choice. I would tell him at the end of our perfect night—I would be the one to ruin it all. At least it would be done, and I wouldn’t be tempted to continue things after the morning.
“It’s not semi-sweet or anything, but I hope you actually like chocolate,” he said opening the car door with a box of ice cream cones in his hand.
“Who doesn’t like chocolate?” I answered cheerfully. His charm was revitalizing. All the conflict seemed to melt away with a single glance and a smile.
“So what now?” I asked. “Where should we go?”
“Feel like stopping by Cearno’s?”
“Are there a lot of people there?”
He seemed excited. “Yeah, I’m sure there are.”
“I don’t know,” I said, hoping to get out of mingling with people I’d have to avoid befriending.
“Okay. Then, I have another secret place I want to show you.”
We found ourselves at a park, left neglected in the night. The jungle gym and picnic tables were the only company it kept. The moonlight filtered down through the clouds lighting the ground with a peaceful glow.
“Do you want to get out?” I asked.
“Yeah, let’s crack open the ice cream before it melts.”
The large rooted trees that hovered over the weathered picnic tables and swings had littered the ground with dried leaves that crunched under my feet. William handed me a chocolate dipped cone, and I sat on the worn tabletop letting my legs dangle off the side.
“So, aside from working at Cearno’s, do you go to college or anything?” I asked.
“I guess you could say I go to school,” he answered.
“San Francisco State or what?”
“No, you haven’t heard of it. It’s more of a private institution.”
“What are you majoring in?”
“Greek Mythology,” he answered, trying not to smile. Maybe he was embarrassed about it. At least now, last night’s reference to the Homeric Hymns made more sense.
“I’ve had a lot of fun tonight. For not being a people person you are pretty easygoing.”
“For a bribe, yeah,” I teased. “It’s actually been a good time.”
“Hey, at least I’m winning you over.”
“We’ll see.” Winning me over wasn’t an option. “Once you’ve delivered on your side of the bargain.”
“The suspense is killing you, isn’t it?” I could tell he was having fun with this. “Come on, I’ll drive you home.”
I worried about our goodbye all the way to my apartment. I had to draw the line, cut him off, or shut him out. This was the first and last wonderful night we would have together. After tomorrow morning, I would make a point to avoid him. He walked me to my door. This was it.
“Listen William, I just want to say that . . .” When I turned to look at him, his eyes were piercing, as if his gaze could penetrate all boundaries. All of a sudden a sense of euphoria clouded my judgment, and I felt completely vulnerable. My eyes shifted quickly to his mouth as the edges curled into his dimpled cheeks, and my heart began to race making my body warm. The warmth was overwhelming, not like heat, not like anything I could describe.
Something was happening. He is doing this to me, I thought, but all the confusion seemed to drift away as the euphoric feeling spread. I hadn’t looked away from his lips, still wearing a faded smile. I couldn’t. I imagined brushing them with my own. I wanted to be closer to him. The warmth had spread to my head, leaving an empty feeling in my chest. I needed him. The emptiness was a hole that only he could fill. He was the relief. It pulled from every direction, this yearning for him. All he needed to do was speak the words, “kiss me,” and I would obey.
I found his eyes again, that penetrating gaze. I was desperate, searching for any sign of reciprocation. His expression fell, but it was there. He felt it too. I knew it.
Suddenly his lids closed, and the fog began to lift. Only fuzzy remnants of the feeling lingered as proof of my short-lived intoxication.
“Sorry,” he said in a low voice. I waited for him to continue, but he turned to leave instead, and rushed off down the street.
“William?” I asked after him, but he didn’t look back.
I wanted to chase him down or scream after him, what was that, but my head, now clear of his strange hypnotic hold, told me to be smart and go inside.
As I lay in bed that night, I relived each moment over and over again, hoping to pick up on something I might have missed, but always, it was the same inconclusive ending with his unexplainable goodnight. I tried considering the idea that maybe I had caused the strange euphoric rush that made me need him more than the most addictive of drugs, that had me willing to do anything he asked in return for his approval, but the vivid image of his intense eyes made me certain it was him.
I wanted more than anything to be straightforward and simply ask him what happened. Maybe there was a perfectly good explanation for the incident. I imagined how the conversation would go: “So, last night when you cast some sort of debilitating love spell on me . . . what was that?”
Realizing the absurdity of my question, I pictured his puzzled expression as he thought, this girl is crazy.
It was too risky. I was curious, but not willing to make a complete fool of myself. Maybe he’d explain in the morning. If not, I would have to be subtle, not come off too insane.
5.
IT WAS STILL DARK outside when I woke up to the sound of somebody in my apartment. The noises were faint, someone’s unsuccessful attempt to keep quiet. My mind immediately became aware and defensive, like an animal that knows it’s being hunted. Careful not to make a sound, I quietly crept out of bed and tiptoed my way to my desk, hoping to find something to use as a weapon. Without much luck, I grabbed the only thing that seemed somewhat feasible, a heavy square edged jewelry box the size of my palm. Deciding I could throw it at the intruder or maybe use it to pack a heavier punch if there was no chance of escape, I grabbed the piece and clutched it tightly in my trembling hand. My heart began to stutter, stumbling unevenly with each beat as the thuds became so loud I was sure they would give me away.
I moved on to the door, turning the knob soundlessly with gritted teeth hoping that the hinges would refrain from their sporadic creaking. They did, but even so, the panic began to take hold of me as I inched along the hallway wall that led from my bedroom. The noises had stopped.
There were only two viable scenarios. The first, it was a burglar, and with this place being so small, he would eventually find me, and then who knows what? The second and most probable thing that crossed my mind made me seize up with fear as I considered it. I was being followed, and whoever was behind it had sent someone to collect whatever it was they wanted, maybe even my life.
There was no telling what would come of me. I breathed quickly and silently, trying to decide whether I should wait or run. Sweat began to stick to my cotton pajamas as I listened for any hint of a sound. Nothing.
I moved closer, almost ready to make my move when a hand covered my mouth from behind, and my whole body tensed up from the inside. With a finger to his lips, William let go and moved to peer around the corner. I held my breath as he turned toward the kitchen and out of sight, leaving me alone in the hallway.
One second the place was silent, the next Kara was diving into William, knife drawn and ready. They rolled and scuffled on the floor of my living room, while I watched, too stunned with shock to scream.
She had him pinned beneath her, the blade pressed up against his neck.
“Wait,” I shouted, but she didn’t acknowledge me. Seconds passed, minutes. Then with a careful hand, Kara ha
nded the knife to William and kissed him on the mouth.
“What the hell?” I said aloud.
“Jesus, Kara,” he said, shoving her off. She huddled shyly against the wall.
“What’s going on?” I demanded. “She was trying to kill you and then . . .”
“I wasn’t trying to kill him,” Kara answered defensively. “He was going to attack me. It was self defense.”
“Well if you weren’t creeping around her apartment, I wouldn’t have to attack you.”
“Look who’s talking. What are you doing here?”
“Don’t turn things around. You know why I’m here. Answer the question.” William paced back and forth between the two of us, like a wolf guarding its den.
“I was looking for proof,” she answered. “I want to know if she is who you think she is.”
William glared at her. “Get out of my head, Kara.”
“I know you’re curious. Let’s see her prove it.”
Kara stood and William took a defensive step toward her. “I don’t need her to prove anything, and neither do you.”
She ignored him and kept her eyes locked on me. “OK, so I’m curious. I want to see it with my own eyes.”
“Careful,” he warned her. “Don’t test me.”
I waited in silence for one of them to make a move.
“Do they know?” he demanded.
She shrugged. “They know what I tell them.”
“So, what have you told them?”
I had no idea what they were talking about, but the way Kara looked at me had me ready to defend myself.
“Nothing. Yet.”
“Told who what?” I spoke up with force. “I’m tired of being talked about like I’m not here.”
That’s when the tiny blade went flying through the air, sticking me in the leg. I let out a cry of pain, and grabbed my right thigh. William had seen it coming, and pinned Kara to the wall in a matter of seconds.
“Not okay,” he seethed through clenched teeth.
She didn’t struggle, but her words were fierce. “Let me go.”
“Do yourself a favor and keep it to yourself.”
“Don’t threaten me,” she choked.
Oppression Page 4
