I hold her until her sobs quiet to tears. Curiosity stirs thoughts about my mom and the story behind how I ended up with the McIntyre’s. I make a mental note to talk to Raven. Blood work should prove whether or not what Dominick told Gia was true or if he was just trying to make her crazy. I’m buying Raven whatever the hell she wants as a thank you for ending the pathetic life of that motherfucker Dominick.
Her cheek rests against my heart, my arm draped over her torso as it expands with every breath. She’s alive and I absorb every one of her breaths, thankful that she survived her parents, Dominick, and my pushing her away.
For the last six months, I’ve played the victim, the one to suffer a hideous crime. But I lived nightmares in the place of memories, while she had vivid memories that gave her nightmares. Her entire life she felt responsible, fought for justice, and brought herself to the brink of murder in my name for the sake of revenge.
What kind of life is that?
The doorbell rings and Gia jerks in my arms.
I kiss her head. “Shh, it’s okay. Food’s here.” Unwinding our bodies, I leave her in bed and pull on a pair of track pants. She’s watches me, and I glance at her naked beneath my dark gray sheets, the color playing off her perfect skin. I reach down and grab the comforter from the foot of the bed and pull it up to her neck. She snuggles into the warmth but looks at me with questioning eyes.
“No walls. Not givin’ Mr. Delivery Boy an eye-full of my girl.”
She giggles and the sound knocks the breath from my lungs. It’s the first glimpse I’ve gotten of Mac since before she left. Butterflies explode in my chest.
The doorbell rings again.
“Stay put.”
She nods. “I will.”
I move to the door, pulling money from my wallet, and picture Mac sitting on a barstool eating Chinese food wearing nothing but my bed sheet. Blood rushes down my body to between my legs.
Yeah, it’s definitely time to send this delivery guy home. I swing open the door, but rather than being greeted by a dude with a bag of takeout, I’m faced with the accusing blue eyes of Emma.
“Oh! Hey, Em.”
Not good.
~*~
Gia
Rex has been at the front door for longer than I would think it takes to pay for some takeout. I peek over the thick down comforter he threw over me and see him standing in the open doorway. He’s shirtless, and by the sound of the voice of the person on the other side, I’m sure the delivery girl is stalling to gaze at his impressive build.
I grind my teeth and jealousy burns my stomach.
“Em, please, calm down.”
Em? As in Emma?
“Why won’t you let me in?”
Let her in? If she’s asking, that means she’s surprised that he didn’t ask her inside. My stomach drops and I swallow hard. She’s been inside his condo before, and by the sound of it, I’d guess often.
Rex’s muscular arms are crossed at his chest, legs firmly planted wide enough that he looks like a big X.
“So now that we’ve broken up I’m not allowed in your house?” Emma practically screeches, the sound bouncing off the walls.
Broken up, as in . . . they were a couple. My fists ball tight into the bed cover.
“You’re the one who said you wanted to be friends,” she says.
Without thinking, I slide off the bed and, keeping the sheet wrapped around me, move to the door.
“Emma, now’s not a good time. It has nothing to do with—”
I step up to Rex.
“Oh shit.” He moves to step in front of me, and I halt just as my shoulder hits his.
It’s Emma, his beautiful neighbor, and right now she looks furious.
Her eyes rake up and down my body, and then she glares at Rex. “Is this where you’ve been for the last two weeks? Shacking up with her?”
He exhales hard. “It’s not what you think.”
“Well, then what is it? You wouldn’t let me sleep over, but you’ll have sex with her.” She thrusts her hand at me.
“This conversation’s over.” He shuts the door halfway.
“I was right; you are a man whore!”
Memories of him crying on the other side of the door, reassuring him that he’s a good boy, come flooding in. My body tenses.
“Hey!” I grab the door and pull it open. “Don’t call him that. You know nothing about us.”
Rex cages me to his chest from behind.
“Ha!” Her eyes go from his hold on me to my face. “It doesn’t take much to see what’s going on here. Did he tell you that less than two weeks ago he was with me?”
“Emma.” Rex’s growls her name, his patience clearly waning.
“No, he didn’t tell me that, and to be honest that’s not something I’m excited to hear, but it doesn’t change the fact that he’s not a bad boy, er . . . man. He’s a great man.”
“Gia—”
“No, Rex.” I shrug out from under his hold. “I know what you’re thinking, and I’d be thinking the same thing if I were in your shoes. But I’ve known Rex since I was eight years old and loved him every day since. He’s a million different things, but the one thing he absolutely is not is a man whore.” My hands shake with the need to defend him. “Now, I realize you two have history, and again, it’s not something I’m interested in hearing, but I won’t just stand here and listen to you call him names.”
She studies me for second, and the anger in her eyes is replaced by a softness that leads me to believe she not only heard what I said but that she agrees.
“Well, as fun as this is for me, ladies, I’m going to have to say”—he looks at his neighbor—“Emma, goodnight. We’ll have to talk later, as you can see now’s not a good time.” He throws his arm over my shoulders and pulls me to his side.
“Right.” She shakes her head. “Forget it. It’s not worth it.” With wave off, she turns and walks away.
He shuts the door and folds me to the front of his body, wrapping me in his arms. “Damn, that was sexy as hell you going all alpha female defending my honor.” There’s humor in his voice.
I take a shaky breath. “I don’t know what happened. It was like I was eight-years-old again.”
“Mountains to overcome.” He mumbles the words, and I wonder if he meant for me to hear them.
I tilt my head back to look up at him. “What?”
His hands run up and down my back. “Us. We have a lot to get through, but, baby, we can do this. We can.” He’s trying to convince me?
“I know.” Hell with Rex is better than heaven without him. “You should know, when we overcome those mountains, I’ll still never be okay with anyone talking bad about you.”
“Shit, so bringing you around the guys is out of the question.” He kisses my forehead, chuckling against my skin. “That’s all I need is to be breaking up fights between you and the boys.”
I shake my head and breathe easy, knowing that the guys he fights may tease him, but he’d told me they all had his back when he came looking for me, so I know they love him. “Now that there’s a good chance that you’re related to one of them, I think they’ll take it easy on you.”
He huffs out a long breath. “Yeah . . . that.”
I squeeze him tighter and pray that he knows no matter what the future brings I’ll be there to support him. “Guess you’ve got a lot to do tomorrow, huh? Make peace with your neighbor, meet Raven at the clinic for a blood test, and break the news to Jonah that you’re Sadie’s uncle.”
“All in a day’s work, baby.” He sounds so relaxed, but the way his body tensed in my arms at the mention of blood work makes me think his easy humor is more for my benefit.
Thinking about it now, ever since he found out that Dominick claimed him as his son, he’s seemed . . . fine—a little distant, thoughtful, but all around okay. I was expecting furious, irritated, even crabby would’ve been more appropriate, but fine? I can’t help but wonder what’s going on in his head.
“So . . . you and Emma.”
He kisses my forehead. “Yeah.”
My stomach plummets, hearing the affirmation from his lips. “How long?”
“A few months.”
I have no right to be jealous. After all, I wasn’t exactly in a platonic relationship with Hatchet. And if what Emma said about him refusing to have sex with her is true, then what I was doing with Hatch was the furthest thing from platonic.
The doorbell rings and we both stare at it, wide-eyed.
“You gonna get it?” I ask.
“I’m afraid of what’s waiting for me on the other side.”
“I’m starving. Maybe for Chinese food we take our chances?”
He smiles down at me. “For you, I’ll take my chances.”
And that’s what we did. We took a chance on each other, knowing that things will be hard, that our future is unclear, and that we have a lot of work to do. But nothing good comes from running away from the difficult times. Turning your back on the pain doesn’t make it go away; it just saddles up on your shoulders and slowly drives you into the ground.
We still have so much to learn, obstacles to overcome, but blessings don’t come cheap and I refuse to allow a demon from our past or hurdle in our present to rob me of a single second of our future.
Thirty
Beware of what you pray for because you just might get it.
And once the truth is revealed, it can never be forgotten.
--Gia
Rex
It’s ten a.m., and I’m sitting in Jonah’s living room. Gia’s at my side, her body curled into mine with one hand on my thigh, grounding me.
I hold her there, communicating how badly I need her, especially now.
Raven’s tucked into Jonah’s side while she explains to her mom, Milena, why we’re all here today. The woman who doesn’t look much older than Raven with long black hair and big brown eyes wide with shock, stares at me. She’s sitting upright, and her hand grips her neck as we wait for a reaction.
Wait for answers.
And hopefully hear the truth.
“. . . and because of all that, Gia believes that Rex is Dominick’s son.” Raven finishes off the story that Gia told me last night and we shared with the Slade’s this morning.
Milena’s eyes, dark and comforting, find mine. They narrow as she studies my face for so long I fight the urge to look away. “I can see the resemblance. As awful as Dominick was, he was very handsome. Your eyes, mouth”—she tilts her head—“jawline, you could very well be his.”
Jonah clears his throat, his face still registering disbelief from when I told him this morning. “Milena, Rex is three years older than Raven. Do you remember anything about Dominick having other children?”
She knots her fingers in her lap and then looks up at Jonah. “Dominick was the most egotistical man I’d ever known. I wouldn’t be surprised if he had several illegitimate children.” Her eyes find mine. “What was your mother’s name?”
Emotion burns my throat. Her name and her medical records are all that I have. Even when my memories came back, not a single one of my mom resurfaced. “Sofia Marie Carter.” My voice cracks at the last word as all that I’ve lost crashes over me. Gia squeezes my leg.
Milena squints, her gaze moving from me to just over my shoulder. “Sofia . . .” Silence hangs in the air while we wait.
Is it possible that Milena might have known her? Nothing in the paperwork said anything about her being a prostitute. As far as I know, she was employed as a cleaning lady. Not the most glamorous job, but it was honest. Legit. None of the bullshit a man like Dominick was messed up in.
“Is there anything else you can tell me about her?” Milena says.
I shake my head, and the hope of learning something new about my mom slips through my fingers.
Gia shifts at my side and leans forward. “Sofia committed suicide when Rex was five. She was found in her car, not far from her apartment, with a self-inflicted gunshot wound.”
Milena’s face pales, and she slowly covers her mouth with a shaky hand. “Oh God.” Her eyes go distant again. “Mary.”
Gia and I look at each other quickly, and Raven rushes to her mother’s side.
“Mom, who’s Mary?”
Milena’s eyes clear, and she studies me as if she’s seeing me for the first time. “Mary was one of Dominick’s housemaids.”
My heart explodes, hammering away and rejuvenating my hope. “Yeah, she was a cleaning lady.” I nod for her to go on.
“I didn’t know her well, but I remember her. She was so beautiful. Dark hair. Dominick loved being surrounded by women with dark hair. When I was pregnant and in Dominick’s home, she was there. She always looked sad, and I would catch her absently wiping things down while she was transfixed on Dominick.”
“Why transfixed?”
“My guess? Unrequited love.” Milena shakes her head. “Dominick had a way of making a girl feel as if the earth began and ended at her feet. He poured it on so heavy you couldn’t see through it if you’d tried.” Her expression sobers. “But when he took it away, decided you weren’t worth it, the rejection was crippling. You’d go from queen of his world to less than the scum beneath his foot.”
That would make sense. All the hospital reports said that they found medication for depression all over my mom’s apartment. She was alone, raising a child that she probably thought was conceived in love and then abandoned—rejected and cast aside like garbage.
Something clicks deep in my soul, and in this moment, I know this is the answer I was looking for.
“One afternoon Dominick stopped by the house where I was living with Raven. He was in a bad mood. I could tell by the way he stomped up to my front door. I didn’t ask, but he’d taken a call. I’ll never forget it. He told whoever he was talking to that Mary died. Her son needed to be taken care of until he could figure out what to do with him.” She shakes her head. “I didn’t know Mary had a son, but looking at you now, Rex, you’re the spitting image of her.”
I drop my chin to my chest and breathe, trying to keep breathing and not give in to the lung-constricting truth.
My mom was in love with the devil.
They made a baby.
Me.
Half evil, half beauty.
“Rex,” Raven says and I nod, but don’t look up. “We’ve got an appointment to get the blood test today. Don’t get upset until you know for sure.”
I shake my head. “I’m not upset. I’m processing.”
Gia squeezes my thigh, but I keep my eyes to my lap and think about my mom. Dominick thieved her love and abused her devotion. And because of that she’s dead. The information settles like a brick in my gut.
“What time is the sibling test?” I’m ready to get this over with, get my answers, and move on.
“Two, but the lab we’re using is the same that the UFL uses, so I was able to pull some strings to get us in and give us results while we’re there. Nothing says that if we show up they won’t take us early,” Jonah says.
I nod. “Let’s go. I want answers. I think I’ve waited long enough.”
~*~
“The purpose of the sibling test is to see if Raven and Rex have shared genetic markers. If they do, that will result in a positive, meaning they share a parent.” The guy wearing the white lab coat explains the science behind the test as if I care. I don’t. I’m just ready to find out so I can move on.
“The test is completely painless.” He holds up a long Q-Tip. “The swab will collect a DNA sample from the inside of your cheek.”
He goes on and on talking, but I tune him out and concentrate on the woman at my side. Gia hasn’t let go of my hand all day except to hop into my truck, but as soon as I climbed into the driver’s seat she snatched it back into hers. I pull her hand into my lap, and she turns to me with a small but reassuring smile.
“Rex, open up.” The lab guy gets the sample first from me and then Raven.
It’s si
lent as he ushers us into a large waiting room furnished with comfortable chairs to wait for the results.
Raven and Jonah sit across the room with Sadie asleep in the stroller.
Gia and I sit down next to Milena, who insisted on coming with us. She hasn’t spoken at all since she told me everything she knows about my mom.
“Milena, thanks for giving me back a little piece of her,” I say.
She looks up and nods.
“As of about six months ago, I didn’t remember my childhood. When I remembered, none of the memories of her came back. If you remember something about her, anything at all, will you call me?”
“I’ll try, but don’t get your hopes up. I remember very little from my childhood as well.”
Laughter bursts from my lips as I consider the group of misfits in this room. Parentless, raised by strangers, or conceived under horrible situations, we all found each other.
My entire life I’ve felt like the outsider hiding the shameful feelings that I couldn’t explain, but not anymore. In this room, with this group of individuals, we’re equals, sharing in the struggle life set before us and similar in our circumstances. It’s as if God brought us together to normalize our feelings and give us each other to lean on, confide in, and support in return.
She shrugs one shoulder. “You know, looking back on it, Dominick had a type.” Her gaze meets mine. “Mary was a very beautiful woman. And Dominick loved to break the beauty in all things.”
“My mom, from what I’ve read, was very broken.”
“I’m sorry for your loss, but as a mother speaking for another mother, I can say she would’ve been very proud of you, Rex.”
I swallow the knot that forms in my throat at hearing those words. “Thank you.”
Sadie’s soft cries come from the stroller. “I’ll get her.” Milena takes the baby and Raven pulls out a blanket and a bottle.
The door swings open. “Mrs. Slade and Mr. Carter, we have the results.”
Gia looks at me, her warm gray eyes offering a mix of anticipation and comfort.
“Rex?” Raven’s standing beside me. “Would it be all right if just you and I go back?”
Fighting to Forget Page 29
