by Sandy Hall
“Unnecessary correction, Jane,” their dad said.
“To Illinois,” their mom continued. “To pick up Teo. What were you thinking?”
“Don’t you think we should talk about Margo’s thing for a while?”
“I think there’s plenty of time to do that later. Right now we need to understand what you were thinking the past few days,” their dad said.
“We weren’t thinking,” Jane said. “Or Margo wasn’t. She was just along for the ride. I needed help, and I persuaded her to come along.”
“No, I wanted to go,” Margo said. “It’s not like Jane brainwashed me.”
Their father scratched his head. “So take me through this. What exactly happened?”
Jane explained the whole story for her parents. She was getting a little tired of telling it, but she knew she needed to get through it at least one more time, because she owed them an explanation. Maybe they would lighten the sentence when they realized she’d been trying to help Teo out.
“Too much information,” their dad said, shaking his head.
“Jane,” their mom began, clearly disappointed. She was like a caricature of disappointment. “Lying? Driving across state lines? Just to pick up Teo? He was in enough trouble on his own. There was absolutely no reason to get involved.”
“He wasn’t going to come back,” Margo said, stepping in. “Jane was really worried that he wouldn’t come back on his own. And I’m not surprised she was worried. He’s kind of a mess.”
“But there was no reason for you girls to get involved!” their mother yelled.
“I like him,” Jane said, her voice even, trying to keep things from escalating. “A lot. Enough to risk getting into trouble. I wanted him to come back. I knew he had to come back. And I knew that if I went and got him, he’d see that there really wasn’t any other choice.”
“You should have left this to Connie and Buck,” their mom said through gritted teeth.
“Maybe or maybe not,” Jane said. “Did you know Teo’s dad is dead?”
Their mom started to answer, then stopped short and glanced at her husband. “Yes.”
He put two fingers to each temple and rubbed. “What is going on in my life right now?” he asked, closing his eyes.
“I know, Pops. It’s a lot to take in,” Margo said.
“So many secrets.” He sat up. “I kind of wish I had one to share.”
He looked at his wife for a second, sharing some kind of silent conversation, and then they turned their attention back to their daughters.
“Thank you for telling us about yourself, Margo. We appreciate it. We love you and we support you, no matter what,” their dad said. “We can’t condone what you did, and you will have to pay back the charges on your credit card, which Jane will help with, but that’s the end of it. How can we ground a twenty-year-old? It’s ridiculous.”
“Thanks, Dad,” Margo said.
“Jane,” their mother said, shaking her head. “This is unacceptable. I think it’s fair to ground you for as long we deem reasonable.”
“What’s reasonable?” Jane asked.
“Your mother and I still need to discuss that,” their father said.
“Can I at least talk to Teo? Make sure he’s okay?”
Their parents looked at each other. “We’ll have to talk about that, too. You can’t just run off whenever you like,” their dad said, looking at Jane.
“I know,” she said. “This was important, though. I swear it was. I thought it was the only way to get Teo back.”
Margo nodded in solidarity. Looking at their mother’s set jaw, she decided not to get more involved than that.
Their mother shook her head slowly. “Definitely no seeing Teo.”
Jane’s eyes narrowed.
Their dad put his hand on his wife’s shoulder. “Jane,” he said, “I know this is tough. The older you get, the more you think you’re smart enough to make all your own decisions. But I promise you still need us. We’re not useless. You should have come to us. And that’s why you’re in trouble. Not only for making us worry like crazy for the past two days, but because you didn’t give us the benefit of the doubt.”
“Maybe you need to give me the benefit of the doubt, too,” Jane said. “I deserve to have some say in my own life.”
“Why? You’ve barely shown any interest—” their mom began.
“Because it’s my life and you need to trust me,” Jane said, cutting her off.
Their mother whipped her head up to look at Jane. “What you need to realize is that you’re not the adult here. You need to spend more time deciding your future and worrying less about Teo.”
“How can you tell me in one sentence that I’m not an adult, but in the next sentence tell me that I need to make adult decisions? Why does no one else see the flaw in this logic?” Jane asked. The anger she had been trying to keep at bay started to rise.
Their dad’s jaw dropped, but their mother was right on top of Jane’s question. “This is adolescence, Jane. This isn’t adulthood. You need to make decisions now, while we can help guide you, and while there is still time to make changes if those decisions don’t work out.”
“If anything can be changed later, why do I have to make these decisions now? Can’t I just do what I want for now?”
“And what is it you want?”
“Not to go to college. Not to waste my time and your money on some useless degree in a subject that I’m not very interested in.”
“What are you interested in?”
“I don’t know,” Jane said. She didn’t understand why that was so difficult for her parents to grasp. “I don’t know what I want to do. I just know a few things that I don’t want to do. Why can’t I explore for a while? Why can’t I take my time?”
“What does that even mean?” their mother asked, rubbing her face with her hands.
“I can find a job and roommates and figure things out. I don’t want to go to college just because everyone is supposed to go to college.”
“This is the wrong time for this conversation,” their mother said.
“Then when’s the right time? You’ve been trying to push me into this discussion all summer. I’m ready now. When’s the right time, Mom? When you say so?”
“We have other things to deal with right now. We need to talk about your poor choices and what happened. If you would just try to get into a good school, like Margo did, we wouldn’t have to deal with this.”
“What? So I can make mistakes like getting involved in a pyramid scheme?”
“Hey!” Margo said. Jane grimaced at her.
“Oh, that’s old news, Jane. Margo has grown so much since then,” their mom said.
“But you always take her side! Margo never does anything wrong.”
“This isn’t about Margo. This is about you.”
Jane was so frustrated she could scream.
“No,” Jane said, shaking her head. “I think this is about you, Mom.”
“What?”
“This is about what you want and what you think I should do. You want me to make decisions about my future, but only ones that you approve of. This is about your double standard.”
“There isn’t a double standard,” their mother said.
“Maybe not from where you’re sitting, but definitely from where I’m sitting.”
“This is ridiculous.”
“The only thing that’s ridiculous is that you won’t let me make my own mistakes.”
“I need to save you from terrible choices and poor decision making.”
Jane felt her nostrils flare. In that moment she wished she could breathe fire.
Instead, she stood up from the table, held her head high, and walked out the front door.
Chapter 28
Jane and Teo were so stuck in their own thoughts that they almost walked into each other on the sidewalk.
“Stormed out?” Jane asked.
“Yup,” Teo said.
“Me too.�
��
They started walking in the direction of the park. When they were halfway there, Jane’s hand found Teo’s and held on tight.
“So is your mom literally going to kill you?” Jane asked.
“I have no freaking clue,” he said.
“Are you guys going to be okay?”
Teo shrugged.
“We don’t have to talk about this right now,” Jane said.
“Good idea.”
“My mom talked to Uncle Matt. He called her this afternoon.”
“Oh, so Mateo tattled on us.”
“Yup, he’s the one. Him and the credit card company.”
Jane smiled into the darkness as they got to the park. The only light came from a streetlamp reflecting off the surface of the pond as they took a seat on one of the bench swings nearby.
Teo pushed off with his toes, making the swing sway gently. “I think I might apply to the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign. I want to get to know Mateo and that whole side of the family. I hadn’t settled on a school anyway, and I actually think I have a really good shot of getting in.”
“I still have no clue what to do about college, but I’ll figure it out.”
“You could always come with me.”
“You’re just saying that because you need someone, not because you want me there.”
“Jane, you’re not a placeholder. You’re so much more than that to me.”
“Were you serious today when you said I was smart?” Jane asked, leaning back and putting her head on his shoulder.
“Of course I was serious. You’re brilliant, even. You’re so levelheaded,” Teo said.
“I just needed to hear it.”
“I’ll tell you every single day until you believe me.”
“I wish we didn’t have to go home.”
“I know. I’m still not sure how to deal with my mom. She’s been lying to me for years. How can I trust her?”
“Maybe you need to stop listening to what she’s saying and try to read between the lines,” Jane said.
“Maybe.” Teo stared at the ground.
“She’s smart, your mom. She might have done some shitty stuff and maybe didn’t make all the right decisions, but she’s smarter than I am. I know that for sure. And if you trust me, then maybe you should trust her.”
“I used to trust her. Now I’m not so sure. Now I don’t know who to trust.”
“Me. Probably Ravi. Margo in a pinch. Your sisters. Your mom. Maybe even Buck.”
“I get it,” Teo said. “I just need a little longer to believe it, I guess.”
“I can help you with that.”
“You’re going to tutor me?”
“Sure thing. I’m a genius according to you,” Jane said.
“Okay, smarty-pants, what are you going to do about your parents?”
“Accept that I’m grounded forever and take my punishment like an adult. After all, I did leave the state without their permission and dropped a trail of lies in my wake.”
“Yeah, you do sound smarter than me.”
They were quiet for a minute after that, watching the ripples of water in the pond and enjoying what would likely be their last few moments of freedom.
“We should probably get going.” Jane sighed.
Teo nodded and they stood up, heading in the direction of home. He put his arm around her shoulders as they walked.
“It’s funny.… Just as my parents were getting ready to really start yelling, Margo tried to rescue me by coming out of the closet,” Jane said.
Teo stepped back and looked at her, confused. “Margo was in the closet?”
Jane put a hand over her mouth. “I don’t know if I’m supposed to tell people that. Maybe only Margo’s supposed to tell people.”
“The cat’s kind of already out of the bag.”
“True,” Jane said, thinking it over. “So yeah, Margo’s bisexual.”
Teo slapped a hand to his forehead. “I thought I saw her making out with Kara Maxwell behind the pool one day, but I wasn’t sure it was her. I didn’t recognize her.”
“She never told me she made out with Kara Maxwell behind the pool!”
“She totally did.”
As they approached Jane’s house, they saw two people talking on the front steps. Two people who just so happened to be their respective moms.
Teo squeezed Jane’s hand, and Jane squeezed back.
“Well, look who decided to come back,” Connie said.
“Sorry,” Jane said.
Connie stood up. “It’s okay, Jane.”
“We were just about to go after you,” Jane’s mom said, her voice sounding lighter than it had in months, particularly considering the circumstances.
Jane snuck a peek at her mom. “I’m sorry I left.”
“Me too,” Teo said, addressing both moms. “I’m sorry about everything.”
Jane’s mom looked at her. “We’re sorry we didn’t listen, and we’re going to work on that.”
“Yeah?” Jane asked.
Her mom nodded, and Jane could see tears in her eyes.
“Connie and I talked about it. You’re both still in a lot of trouble—even more because you ran away in the middle of your sentencing—but we’ll have plenty of time to discuss it all while you’re both under house arrest until school starts.”
Jane and Teo sighed in unison. There wasn’t even anything to protest.
“And we’ll even give you a minute to say good-bye,” Connie said.
Jane’s mom slipped into the house, and Connie walked in the direction of hers.
“So,” Jane said, “how do we make the most of this?”
“I don’t know,” Teo said.
There was too much to say and do and not enough time for any of it with their moms keeping tracking of the clock. It seemed like a second later when Jane’s mom knocked on the window to let them know their time was up.
“I guess I’d better go,” Teo said.
Jane nodded and turned to go inside. Teo leaped into action, catching her from behind and spinning her around, pressing his lips to hers and drinking her in.
“Now, why didn’t I think of that?” Jane asked into his mouth.
Teo smiled. “You were just letting me be the brains of the operation for once.”
“For once,” Jane agreed as Teo backed up and started toward his house.
Jane stood on her front walk and watched Teo until he was at the corner. Before he was out of sight, he turned back one last time.
He cupped his hands around his mouth and yelled, “Can you ask your Magic 8 Ball if you are my girlfriend?”
“Signs point to yes,” Jane called back.
Acknowledgments
First of all, mega thanks to Holly West. Through every draft, every obstacle, every brainstorming phone call, and every terrible idea, she was there to guide me back to the point. This book would not exist without her encouragement and optimism.
Tons of gratitude to the Swoon staff as a whole: Jean Feiwel, Alison Verost, Kathryn Little, Caitlin Sweeny, and Lauren Scobell have made this a truly amazing experience. And to my favorite travel companions, Nicole Banholzer and Brittany Pearlman: Thanks for making seven cities in eight days much easier to deal with. To my fellow Swoon authors: I love how much this group has grown, and I’m so glad we’re in it together!
To my friends at the Morristown & Morris Township Library: Thanks for not making me feel too guilty about leaving. To the kids in the tenth- to twelfth-grade book club during the summer of 2014, thanks for all your help! Without you guys, this story would have never even seen the light of day and Teo wouldn’t be a lifeguard.
Endless amounts of appreciation to Lauren Velella, who holds the title of being the only person besides Holly to read every single draft of this one. Next time I talk to you, I will whistle the theme song to The Golden Girls in its entirety as a show of thanks.
Sometimes all you need is a kind ear, so thank you to Michelle Petrasek and Chrissy
George for always listening cheerfully even when I’ve rambled endlessly about absolutely nothing. And to Kate Vasilik, Katie Nellen, Chelsea Reichert, and Melanie Morritt for lots of things, but particularly for reminding me that I shouldn’t send a character named Margo on a road trip to Florida for fear of people drawing comparisons to a different book.
A great big heap of thanks to my aunt and uncle, Brenda and Bill Bankos, who have been unbelievably excited and genuinely wonderful through this whole experience.
The niblings already got their moment at the beginning of the book, so I’ll skip them this time, but thanks to my siblings, Karen, Scott, and Sean, and my siblings-in-law, Bill and Sandra.
I would need to make a whole new word to accurately express how thankful I am to my mom, Pat, who’s been so supportive and understanding as I dive into my writing career, so we’ll just leave it with thanks, and I’ll work on the new vocabulary before the next book. And to my dad, Wayne, who I know would be so proud.
Jane’s List of Doctor Who Episodes that Teo MUST Watch
(Some of these are two-parters and NO I do not think that’s cheating.)
1. Blink
I insist that you watch this episode. No one can resist this episode. Even the staunchest anti-Who lobbyists would be willing to watch this episode, mostly because the Doctor is barely even in it.
2. Vincent and the Doctor
This episode is one of my favorites because it’s not just about how the Doctor is helping Vincent van Gogh OF ALL PEOPLE, but also because he’s really helping Amy. She’s so sad, and he really does take her mind off it. Also all the incredible art you get to see. And Bill Nighy! I love that guy.
3. The Angels Take Manhattan
A WORLD OF CREEPINESS. When the Statue of Liberty starts walking around, you know you’re in trouble. I love River Song in this episode. And I’m hoping when you see River Song you’ll have enough questions to make you want to keep watching.
4. The Empty Child/The Doctor Dances
“Are you my mummy?” I think I’m really drawn to the scarier/weirder episodes. This one is both scary and weird. But it has a happy ending! Oh, and Captain Jack Harkness! I love him and I think you will, too! Side note: I do hope that by the time we get to these two episodes you’ll be willing to watch the whole series, but if not, I’m ready with more choice examples, so that at the very least you can discuss certain things with me.
