by Lux Zakari
That knowledge both excited and terrified her. The closest she’d come to sex was reading the dog-eared bodice-ripping novels on library shelves, the informative but perplexing Cosmopolitan articles and the secondhand play-by-plays Shannon gave her after her own encounters with her boyfriend, Rick. Virginity, which was something her peers had outgrown long ago, was not something she wanted to give to just anyone. Therefore, she could never keep up with Michael.
But a little part of her wanted to try. A little part of her wanted to have the courage to find out how those lips of his tasted. A little part of her wanted to slide her hands down his broad back and into the back pockets of his jeans.
A little part of her wanted to do a whole lot to Michael Vartanian.
* * * *
“What am I doing here?” Michael grumbled, primarily to himself, as he looked around at the throng of people gathered on campus for the One Down bonfire, a tradition at Kenton College marking the end of the fall semester’s first day. A gust of night air blew through his hair, and he breathed in the smoky scent of the fire and grilled hotdogs.
Breeze laced her fingers with his and tugged him through the crowd. “This is where Lisa said she’d be.” She squinted as she stood on her tiptoes to peer over all the bobbing heads. “She’s dating the treasurer of the Student Activities Council. It’s practically required for her to be here. But good news for us—she said if we show up and keep her company, she’ll treat us to a car ride.” She entwined her arm with his and gave his bicep a meaningful squeeze. “During which certain illicit activities may occur.”
Michael narrowed his eyes. “Yeah? How good’s her herb?”
“Better than ours, seeing as we have none.” Breeze skimmed the faces again then her grip on his arm tightened. “I see her! She saved us a place on top of the hill. Come on.”
“You go. I don’t feel like dealing with this mob now. I’m waiting until everyone sits their asses down.”
“Baby, it’s a bonfire, not the opera. People don’t sit down.” She unlinked her arm from his and gave his ass a squeeze as she nodded to the hill with a wink. “See you on top.” She merged into the writhing crowd and disappeared.
Alone, Michael heaved a sigh as he glanced around, rubbing the back of his warm neck. He debated getting a soda, or just getting in his truck and driving home by himself—Breeze would find a ride. Still, the idea of cruising the back roads of Kenton with smoke in his lungs sounded like the perfect way to end the first day of school, even if that meant putting up with Breeze and her roommate, Lisa. The two of them always became giggly and shrill when they smoked together.
His gaze drifted to the bonfire, where several people waited while the musicians in the local band tuned their instruments on the makeshift stage before a row of bleachers. He noticed the brunette from his history class, her endless legs disappearing beneath the same short skirt and looking warm and inviting in the fire’s glow. She stood with another girl, both deep in conversation, and delicately tucked a strand of her long dark hair behind her ear. His gaze traveled over her soft, feminine features, illuminated in the firelight.
A few rowdy, slightly drunk students pushed past him, jostling him out of his reverie. Annoyed by the company surrounding him, Michael turned his attention away from the girl as he shoved his way through the bodies and blankets scattered on the hillside to where Breeze sat with Lisa Melane.
“There’s my little storm cloud!” Breeze said in a syrupy voice when Michael sank down on the grass next to her. “Looking cheerful as always.”
“Hi, Mike.” Lisa wrapped her thin lips around the straw held fast in the lid to her soda cup and took a sip. “Why do you look like somebody just kicked over your sandcastle?”
“Yeah, what’s the matter, baby?” Breeze picked up a French fry from the paper container on Lisa’s lap and traced Michael’s lips with it. “Here, maybe a little snack will fix that sour mood of yours.”
Michael wordlessly snatched the fry out of Breeze’s hand and threw it, causing the girls to laugh. He ignored them, extending his legs and leaning back on his hands. He stared at the bonfire as the band finished its sound check and the lead guitarist squawked a quick countdown into the microphone, the shouted numbers followed by the school’s anthem set to rock music. The music incited the already enthusiastic audience, and Michael watched as the brunette looked around at the eruption of energy, laughing and clapping in time to the beat hammered out by the drummer.
“Isn’t this cute?” Breeze clamped her hand around his chin and turned his face toward her. “Michael’s checking out the chicks right in front of me.”
“Shame, shame.” Lisa’s smirk revealed just how much she was really enjoying the unfolding drama. “He still hasn’t learned his lesson?”
Michael gritted his teeth. “If you’re bringing up the incident from two years ago for the millionth time, you can just shut the fuck up, thanks.”
“That, and others.” Breeze sniffed. “Although, maybe she was referring to the one that happened on my birthday.”
“You forget you’d dumped me earlier that day.”
Lisa narrowed her eyes at the crowd, her forehead wrinkling. “I wonder who he’s got his eye on now.”
“The fat brunette from high school,” Breeze replied without pause, popping a French fry in her mouth, and Michael rolled his eyes.
“Who?” Lisa asked. “Which one is she?”
“Valerie Mercer,” Breeze said. “Only to be fair, she’s not fat anymore. She lost all this weight during the summer and now everyone wants to bone her, including my boyfriend.”
Michael shook his head. “Whatever.”
Breeze leaned toward Michael and dropped her voice. “Admit it. You want her, don’t you?” She turned to Lisa. “You should’ve seen him this morning in US History. He acted like a complete ass, trying to get her attention and everything.”
“Will you stop talking about me like I’m not here?”
“Why should I? I was sitting right there in class, and you didn’t give a damn about that.” Breeze shot him a haughty look. “You don’t have to sound so pissy, baby. I just thought Lisa should know how you made a fool out of yourself over some chick today.”
Lisa dragged a French fry through a blob of ketchup. “Doesn’t he do that with you every day, Breezy?”
“Ha-ha.” Breeze turned her attention back to Michael, her hazel eyes looking black in the darkness. “You can just forget about fucking her. She’s not your kind.”
Michael heaved a sigh. “You know, Breeze, if I wanted your opinion—”
“From what I remember, she’s a meek little mouse, and she always has been,” Breeze interrupted as if she hadn’t heard him. “It’s a small town, Michael, and I’ve never heard about her with anyone. I doubt she ever stuck her own finger in her cunt, let alone let someone else do it.”
“Cute, Breeze.” Michael snorted. “Very cute. Very ladylike too. You’ll have to tell me which charm school you went to so I can write a letter commending their efforts.” Still, he grew excited at the thought of the brunette—Valerie—shyly opening her legs to him and him sliding a finger into her moist center, all the while knowing he was the first to do so.
Breeze ignored his comment. “Besides, she’s going places. She’s a brain. After graduation, she’ll probably go to Harvard or something. I doubt she’s going to want to hang around and wither away in this boring town with your dumb ass.”
“You don’t have to either,” Michael snapped.
“I know,” Breeze said, putting an arch in her voice, “and maybe I won’t.”
Lisa pushed the now empty container of fries off her lap and onto the grass. “Is there ever a time when you two aren’t fighting? I swear, you make me feel like I’m a kid in the middle of a divorce.”
“Then get the fuck out of here,” Michael all but snarled.
Lisa put a hand to her open mouth, feigning surprise. “Such language.” She stood, dusting her hands off on the back pockets
of her bellbottom jeans. “I’m going for a fry run. I’m sure you two will have moved on to dry humping, like always, by the time I get back.” She hurried down the hill toward the snack stand.
Breeze let out a long, sad sigh. “Why did you talk to my friend like that?”
“Are you serious?” Michael groaned and lay down, the grass tickling his ears. “Shut up, Breeze.”
Breeze reclined next to him, outlining his nose with her fingertip. “Baby, I don’t want to fight. Look, I honestly don’t even care about you checking out that girl today. Do what you want.” She took a deep breath. “The reason I’m being so testy is... I don’t know. I just know what I would do for you, no matter what, and so I just want to make sure I have a place in your life in the years to come.” She reached for his hand. “When you think about the future, am I in yours?”
“I don’t think about my future.”
“Fine.” Breeze took her hand back. “Then I won’t think about ours, either. Okay?” She got to her feet. “I can see this conversation is boring you, so let’s just wrap it up with the conclusion that whatever happens, happens.”
“Breeze.” Michael squeezed his eyes shut. “Don’t be like this.”
“I’ll be like whatever I want.” She stepped over Michael so her feet were on either side of his waist and leaned down to whisper in his ear, her voice liquid and low. “There’re going to be some changes around here, and I don’t think you’ll be happy with any of them.”
Michael kept his eyes closed, even as he felt Breeze move away and leave him alone on the hill, surrounded by spectators. He took a deep breath in, his chest rising as he felt the bass drum send vibrations through the ground and then his body. The guitar was so loud he felt every note in his veins. His mind wandered back to Valerie Mercer. He wondered if she was still clapping and smiling by the fire, and if she was as angelic as Breeze claimed.
He opened his eyes and drank in the sight of a black-blue sky pinpricked with stars. How hard was it to make an angel fall?
Chapter 2
Friday
October 18, 1974
Valerie stood in front of Kenton College Library’s meager poetry collection, tapping her fingers on each books’ spine, as if by doing so she could best determine what next to read. Her attention lingered on a Tennyson anthology, and then she felt a sharp tug at the hem of her skirt. Startled, she whirled around to see Shannon’s smiling face, then relaxed. “I should’ve known. Aside from five-year-olds, you’re the only one who gets my attention like that.”
“I like the shock factor, what can I say?” Shannon said. “What are you doing here? I told you to meet me downstairs. The second floor gives me the creeps. Some kid apparently shot himself up here after flunking finals. Now it’s supposed to be haunted.”
“Sorry, I forgot.” Valerie, yanked from the magic of privately selecting her book, hitched her tote bag higher on her shoulder and followed Shannon out of the aisle.
“Are you okay? You’ve been in La La Land lately.” Shannon’s voice dropped even lower in the quiet environment. “All that attention from horny boys distracting you?”
“Ha,” Valerie said, but a frown twisted her mouth. “The truth is there is no attention from horny boys.”
Shannon’s brow furrowed. “What’re you talking about? I see guys checking you out all the time. And isn’t that Daniel Travato guy practically stalking you?”
“Daniel isn’t stalking me.” Valerie slowed to a stop near the metal water fountain by the exit. “We’re just friends. And I never see any guys looking at me.”
“Yeah, right.” Shannon leaned against the wall next to the fountain and propped a hand on her hip. “I think the problem is no guys who matter are looking at you, right?”
Valerie wordlessly bowed her head and pressed the button on the water fountain. Her mouth parted as the cool water flowed over her lips and she drank several slow mouthfuls, willing the tears stinging her eyes to go away by the time she straightened again.
“Have you ever thought maybe you aren’t putting out the right vibes?” Shannon reached behind her head for her ponytail and eyed the ends of it. “If I was a guy and I didn’t know you, I’d think you were too smart and cool for this whole scene and you didn’t want to get to know anyone else, let alone date any of the guys who go here.”
“But I do!” Valerie stood and wiped her mouth with the back of her hand.
“Good, that’s a start. Who do you want to get to know? And don’t you dare say Mike Vartanian.”
Valerie’s eyes grew wide. “Why would you say him?”
“Because I see how hard you try not to notice him checking you out every freaking day when you leave your history class, and you haven’t complained to me how it grosses you out, so you must not mind it.” Shannon groaned as she slapped her palm to her forehead. “It is him, isn’t it? This is worse than I thought.”
“I never said that.”
“That blush of yours said it all.” Shannon put an arm around Valerie’s shoulder and gave it a squeeze. “Why do you have a crush on a boy we went to high school with? You were supposed to have gotten over him the day you graduated.”
Valerie had no answer. It seemed ridiculous to her as well. Since seeing him in her history class the first day of the semester, however, the feelings she’d harbored and tried to forget about during the past few years came back in a rush, fueled now by hope.
“Not that I blame you, of course. If I had him scoping out my legs every other morning, I’d be tempted to make some bad decisions too.”
“I’m not tempted to make bad decisions.”
“You are if you’re hoping he’ll ever ask you on a date. It’s just not in his nature. According to my sources, his style is a drunken, delicious screw then never calling you. That’s been the score for years. And you’re a girl who deserves moonlight, roses, respect...you know, the whole shebang.”
“Good to know.” Valerie again felt the beginnings of an ambush of tears as she shook off Shannon’s arm.
Shannon sighed as she trailed Valerie into the stairwell and down to the first floor. “Then again, I could be totally wrong about him. These stories are just rumors, after all. And even if they aren’t, maybe he’s a changed man. High school was a long time ago. That’s got to count for something.”
“Maybe.”
“You never know.” They reached the stairs’ landing, where Shannon bent down to give Valerie’s skirt another tug and offered her friend a playful smile. “I’m sure you’ve heard he and Kim Breza are on the outs.”
“Yeah?” Valerie forced the hope from her voice.
“Yep, she apparently cheated on him. I heard that Lisa girl talking about it this morning.” Shannon shrugged. “I mean, it’s not the first time those two have been at each other’s throats, but it could be the last. People can only take so much.”
* * * *
That afternoon, Michael paced the length of Breeze’s cramped apartment she shared with Lisa, his hands tangled in his hair. “I can’t believe this.”
“Well, believe it.” Breeze gave her curled hair a flippant toss. “I’d already told you I plan on doing whatever I want.”
“Yeah, which you do every day of your life,” Michael spat. “I just didn’t realize this new plan of yours included fucking Karl Seegan.”
Breeze propped up her feet on the ottoman with the striped wool covering, a fashion magazine dangling between her fingers. “I don’t see what the big deal is. You act like neither of us has ever cheated on the other before.”
Michael shook his head. “I can’t believe we’re even having this conversation.”
“I’m just amazed we’re even having a conversation, period.” Breeze glanced back at her magazine as she turned the page. “You’ve never been a big talker.”
Michael raked a hand through his hair again. It was all he could do to prevent himself from shaking her. “How are you just sitting there, saying all this to me like it’s no big deal?”
> “It isn’t a big deal. It’s not like we’re exclusive anymore.”
“Are you seriously kidding me? What the hell were the past few years then?”
“You tell me.” Breeze shrugged, scrutinizing a lipstick ad like Nancy Drew would a clue. “You made it clear last month you were all about keeping things loose.”
“I never... Oh, fuck it.” Michael shook his head. “First you put words in my mouth, like always, and then you don’t even have the decency to admit what you’ve done to my face. Rooney had to tell me Seegan was going on and on in the parking lot about the blow-job you gave him.”
“Really?” Breeze put a hand to her heart. “What did he say? Good things I hope.”
“Breeze, fucking focus. This is Karl Seegan, the guy who breaks wooden boards with his head for laughs.” He sucked in a deep breath. “His number one party trick is seeing what he can fit in his dick hole. I watched him stick the top of a Q-tip up there for laughs one time. Did he show you that one? Did he show you anything like that before you blew him?”
“Baby, would you just relax? It’s not like I’d planned it.” Her pink tongue darted out to lick the pad of her thumb. “We were at the same party, we got a little drunk and one thing led to another.” She turned the glossy page. “It was all in fun. It’s not going to happen again.”
“Really?” He hovered over her, putting his hands on both armrests of Breeze’s chair. “So you didn’t plan it. And here I thought all you cared about were plans and strategies.”
“Not anymore.” She gave him a tight smile that was anything but genuine. “Let’s just say you showed me the light.”
He exhaled an irritated breath he didn’t know he’d been holding. “So what’s all this mean? We’re done? We’re over, just like that?”
Breeze lowered the magazine with a sigh. “No, baby.” She reached up and stroked his face. “You know I love you.”
“I don’t think you do.” Michael moved to stand, but she placed her hands on either side of his face and pulled him back, giving his lips a soft kiss. “Now what’re you doing?”
