by Lux Zakari
“You’re on the pill, right?”
“Oh. No.”
“That’s right, why would you be?” A sloppy grin appeared on his face. However, the smile vanished as soon as it appeared, annoyance creasing his forehead. “Shit, I hope I have a condom. With Breeze, I don’t have to use anything.”
Valerie’s face fell at the mention of Breeze’s name, and a moral war raged inside her as Michael reached over and opened the glove compartment. She wondered how she could possibly consider having sex with someone who was so emotionally entangled with someone else. She wasn’t even sure if Michael cared about her.
Michael let out a shout of triumph and fell back in the seat, a foil package in his fingers. “Fortunately my motto used to be ‘always be prepared.’” He shifted her back on his lap and kissed her again, and she attempted to lose her doubts in the feel of his lips on hers as he tore open the condom and rolled it to the base of his cock. “All set,” he murmured against her mouth. “Now you’re gonna fuck me, and you’re gonna love it.”
As soon as he said those words, Valerie suddenly believed them wholeheartedly, especially when his fingers rubbed a brief, lazy circle over her clit. She closed her eyes, and her head lolled back as she let the sensations buzz through her body.
Michael grabbed hold of his cock and positioned himself at her wet entrance. He inhaled sharply. “I bet you’re gonna be so tight.”
The head of his cock eased inside her, and her head snapped up and her mouth fell open. “Oh my God.” Her legs shook as she felt him slide halfway inside her.
He paused. “Am I hurting you?”
“No.” She shook her head, but her short fingernails dug into his shoulders through his coat.
“Do you like it?”
“I think so.”
“Good.” He slid all the way inside her, and she couldn’t help but cry out. His eyes closed halfway. “Fuck, you feel unbelievable.” He drew in a deep breath. “How’re you doing?”
“I’m okay.” She squirmed, trembling.
He grabbed her hips, holding her in place. “You’re in the driver’s seat now.” She knew it was a lie and suspected he did too. “I want you to fuck me just how you want to.”
“But I—”
“Just do whatever you want, whatever feels good.”
She swallowed hard. Her fingers curled around the collar of his coat as she raised her hips slightly, conscious of how he felt sliding partially out of her. Then she slowly sank back down on him and let out a whimper. He had been right: despite the initial uncomfortable and unfamiliar feeling, she was beginning to love having his cock inside her.
Michael seemed to love it, too, judging by the expressions flickering on his face. As she raised her hips and slid down the length of him again, he watched her and bit his lower lip, his features revealing he was desperately trying to stay in control of himself. A rush of satisfaction and pride washed over Valerie as she realized she was the one making him bite his lip, making him feel good. The starkness of the revelation made her clit buzz. Again she felt powerful, and she moved faster.
“Easy.” His grip on her hips halted her, and he took control once again as he slowly guided her up and down on his cock “Just like that. Jesus, you feel so fucking tight. And wet.” He stroked her clit. “Are you wet for me?”
She nodded, too wrapped up in pleasure to blush at her confession. She looked between them and saw his cock plunging inside her, and she cried out as what felt like electricity zipped through her.
“You like fucking me?” He continued to rub her clit as he arched his hips toward her, pushing all of himself inside her and causing her to gasp.
“Yes,” she panted, maintaining her death grip on his jacket. Her eyes fluttered shut. “Oh my God, yes.”
“Open your eyes.” When she obeyed, he grabbed her chin and forced her to look downward. “I want you to watch what I’m doing to you. I want you to watch me fucking you.”
She let out a moan as she watched him slide in and out of her while his hand manipulated her clit. Her walls started to twitch around his cock.
“That’s it.” His one hand dug into her hips and his other returned to her clit as he slammed inside her. “I want you to come.”
Then he leaned forward and took one of her hardened nipples in his mouth, and that was enough to push her over the edge. She came, crying out his name. He followed as soon as her pussy clamped around him.
She collapsed against him, burying her face in his coat and wrapping her limp arms around his neck as she struggled to breathe normally once again. He took a few gulps of air, his hands resting lightly on her thighs.
After a few moments, Valerie drew away to look at him. He had never looked sexier to her than right then, his eyes clouded with pleasure and his cock still inside her. She kissed him softly on the lips, enjoying the warmth of his breath against her face as the cold of the season reappeared and caused her skin to prickle.
He shifted beneath her, and she rolled off to sit beside him. She already missed the feeling of his body against hers. Her lower half felt sore, used and empty.
Michael quickly rolled the condom off and cracked the door just enough to drop it onto the pavement of the parking lot. “There, that should be a nice surprise for the Sunday school kids.”
She smiled. “It was a nice surprise all around.”
He zipped his jeans and grabbed her sweater, then handed it to her. “I better get you home.”
“Oh.” A knot suddenly formed in her throat. “Okay.” Valerie slowly pulled her sweater back on as Michael settled against his seat and tugged a hand through his tangled, slightly damp hair. She noticed his eyes again had a troubled look in them as they tried to stare a hole right through the steering wheel. She put a hand on his shoulder. “Are you okay?”
He stiffened at her touch and straightened in the seat. “Why wouldn’t I be?” He turned to her and gave her a smug grin. “I just got laid, didn’t I?”
Valerie forced a weak smile, even though a vague panic was spreading through her. “Right.”
“So how can I complain.” His voice was flat as he started the truck and shifted it into drive.
“Wait!” She stretched her sweater down her body as far as it would go. “I don’t even have my pants on yet.”
“So? No one said you can’t put them on now.” He steered the truck out of the parking lot and onto the dark highway. “It’s not like you’re the one driving.”
She let her protests die as she reached down as modestly as she could and scooped her pants off the floor of the truck. As she struggled to put them on in the moving vehicle, she glanced at the speedometer and noticed how fast Michael drove. One look at his face told her his mind was on everything but her. She finished dressing as quickly as she could, her teeth clamped on her bottom lip in an effort not to cry.
The town flashed by like an old dream during the drive and they remained silent, even though Valerie’s mind screamed for them to speak about what had just happened and what it meant. But she didn’t know how to communicate with him, and feared if she tried to speak, she would lose him for good. She’d read in a magazine last month about women who inadvertently chase off men by being too needy. She didn’t want to drive Michael away—not again.
He stopped in front of her house exactly seven minutes after they’d left the church, and kept the engine running as he drummed his fingers on the wheel. “I guess I’ll be seeing you.”
Valerie felt like her heart and head were about to explode. She crossed her arms and turned her entire body to face him. “Are you going to call me?” The moment the question blurted from her she hated herself, but she hadn’t been able to resist. She needed to know.
His face softened and his shoulders dropped. “Of course.” Some of the tension drained from her body as he leaned over to kiss her gently on the mouth. “It’s just been a weird night.”
“Okay.” She nodded. “I understand.” A small smile danced on her lips as she reached fo
r the door handle. “I’ll see you soon then.”
“You got it.” Michael gave her a lazy salute with two fingers and pushed in the cigarette lighter as she climbed out of the truck.
Valerie shut the door behind her and stood on the corner to watch Michael’s truck roar down her quiet street. She trudged up her front walk only when his taillights disappeared into the night.
“Hi, honey,” her mother called from the living room as soon as Valerie stepped inside the house. “Back so soon?”
Valerie stood in the doorway of the living room and saw her parents lying with their heads at opposite ends of the couch, their legs languidly entwined as the TV flickered before them. Her father snored softly, an open book balanced on his chest while her mother held a glass of water in her hand, swirling the ice around in her drink. Valerie’s unnamable fears came rushing back to her at the comforting sight. “Yeah, I’m just tired.”
Her mother looked at her watch in surprise. “Already?”
Valerie nodded. “I have to get up early tomorrow to go over my notes for my physics test.”
Her mother smiled. “That’s my smart girl.”
Valerie tried to smile. She felt anything but smart.
Chapter 5
Tuesday
December 31, 1974
Valerie collapsed on a bed of snow in her front yard, the metal shovel dropping with her. She squinted in the blinding afternoon sun and concentrated on the cold sting in her cheeks and the heat racing through her body, even though snow sneaked its way beneath her long coat sleeves.
A shadow fell across her face as a silhouette stepped between her and the sun. “Taking a break?”
She shielded her eyes and saw Daniel Travato standing in front of her, his gloved hands buried in the front pockets of his denim pants. His feathery hair peeked out from under his navy blue knit hat, and the frosty weather turned his pale face a rosy pink. “Yeah, I’ve been at it for twenty minutes already. I thought I deserved a breather.”
“Want some company?”
She lifted her shoulders, and her haphazard, unofficial snow angel shrugged with her. “Be my guest.”
Daniel spread his arms wide and fell backward in a snow pile next to her.
Valerie laughed. “You did that so solemnly.”
He smiled. “I wanted to savor it. I heard you had the best snow on the block.”
Valerie snorted as she rolled her cap over her eyes, blocking the sun. “Is that what brings you to my neighborhood?”
“Yes, I’m patrolling the whole town, looking for the cream of the crop.” He cleared his throat. “But I decided to take a break and ask you if you’re doing anything tonight.” He turned to look at her, his cheek resting against the snow. “I know it’s last minute and everything, but I just got back in town today.” He rolled his eyes. “Driving eight hours to visit my grandparents and sitting between the twins is probably the worst thing that’s ever happened to me, so I hope you feel sorry enough for me that you consent to hanging out.”
Valerie frowned, her mood dropping at the thought of her evening plans. “I’m already doing something.”
“Yeah, I figured.” Daniel’s forehead creased, but his tone remained light. “So, who’s the lucky devil who gets the privilege of spending New Year’s Eve with Valerie Mercer?”
“Shannon’s dragging me to some party with her boyfriend.”
Daniel tossed a handful of snow her way. “Don’t tell me you’re spending New Year’s as a third wheel.”
The shock of Daniel’s playful words stung Valerie’s heart. “I’m always a third wheel.”
“Well, you deserve to be something better than that.”
She sat up abruptly and readjusted her cap. “No, I don’t.” She pushed herself up, taking the shovel with her, and dusted the snow off her pants. “I should probably get back to shoveling.”
“Val,” Daniel said softly as he stood. “I was only kidding.”
“I know. Don’t worry.” She chipped at a stubborn chunk of ice in the driveway with the edge of the shovel. “I just need to get back to work.”
Daniel studied her with worried eyes. His mouth opened several times as if to say something, but before he could speak, her mother cracked open the front door. “Valerie, phone’s for you.”
Valerie gave Daniel a shrug. “I have to go.”
He nodded with a frown. “It looks that way.” He gave her a halfhearted wave. “See you later.” He shuffled back to his brown, battered car parked across the street.
Valerie hurried into the house, clumps of snow spotting the carpet in her wake. Though she regretted how she’d just treated Daniel, her emotions soon bloomed into a sick hope as she ran through a small list of potential callers. She reached the conclusion, as she did every time the phone rang, that too much time had passed for Michael not to finally call after what happened between them, and she picked up the receiver in the living room. “Hello?” she said, trying to keep her voice calm.
“Sweetie, it’s so good to hear your voice!”
Valerie’s legs gave out and she sank onto the couch like it was quicksand. “Hi, Aunt Linda.”
“Your mother was just telling me how you’re still exercising and sticking to the diet we whipped up for you.”
Tears burned Valerie’s eyes, and she willed them not to fall as she rested her head against the back of the sofa. “Yeah, it really works.”
“I told you it would. Now all you need to do is visit me in California. You’ll fit right in with all the other gorgeous, skinny girls here.”
“That would be fun.” Valerie pressed a hand to her closed eyelids, flattening her wet eyelashes against her palm.
“Of course, getting you here might be hard to do, what with the boys being all over you these days.”
“They’re not,” Valerie blurted, her breath coming out in hiccups.
“Valerie?” Her aunt’s voice filled with worry. “What’s wrong, sweetie?” Her question met with silence, and she added, “You can tell me.”
“No, I can’t.” Valerie wiped her eyes with the back of her hand. “I’m so sorry, Aunt Linda, but I have to go.” She quickly replaced the receiver, wishing to feel better, but she felt worse as she realized she’d just hung up on her aunt, who only wanted to help her. She covered her face with her hands and leaned forward, her body shaking as she cried the tears she’d been holding back for weeks.
She’d told herself all that had happened couldn’t have been real, that she was imagining things, that she was somehow overlooking a vital piece of information and jumping to conclusions. But now, she thought about all the times she’d called Michael since their tryst in his truck, all the rumors she’d heard about him and Breeze getting back together and all the times he’d looked right through her. She thought about all that and hated herself. She knew the only piece of vital information she’d overlooked was that she’d been a fool.
* * * *
“Look, baby.” Breeze gave the stovetop’s knob a twist and hovered a spatula over a pan. The flame rose from beneath the metal coils, providing a small source of light in the Vartanians’ dark kitchen, which had the faint odor of years of burnt dinners. “I’m cooking.”
“What, your brain?” Michael looked over her shoulder. “Are you roasting a spatula?”
Breeze erupted into a fit of giggling. “No, I’m melting plastic. I’m going to make you little army men. Consider them my gift to you now that we’ve agreed to sort of start seeing each other again.”
“I immediately regret that decision.” Michael pried the spatula from her grasp and turned off the stovetop.
“Michael!” Breeze slid her arms around his waist and moved her hands into the back pockets of his jeans. In the dim light coming from the refrigerator, which Rooney was rummaging through, Michael watched as Breeze batted her eyelashes at him. “Are you going to be this cranky all night?”
“It depends. Am I going to be fielding phone calls from Marie Bacall’s psycho father anymore?
”
Breeze gave Michael a playful slap on his ass. “You should be happy. I put an end to my fling with him and chose you instead. Can you blame the guy for being a bit upset? After all, he lost me, the only light in his life.”
“I’m surprised he’s not shouting with joy from every rooftop.”
“Shut up.” Breeze punched his arm. “There’s this thing called compassion. You should try showing some.”
“How does that lunatic even know my phone number?”
“Baby, your dad’s a preacher. It’s easy enough to look up. Just relax.”
“I can’t, okay?” Michael pushed Breeze away from him. “Because you were slutting it up around town, I’ve got some poor bastard calling me up, threatening me and crying about how much he loves you and how much you ruined his life.”
Breeze shrugged as she reached past Rooney and pulled a bottle of wine from the refrigerator. “Don’t you know you gotta take the bad with the good?”
“Of course I know that.” Anticipating her imminent request, Michael snatched the wine from Breeze and rummaged through a drawer for a corkscrew. “That’s been the motto of our relationship for years.”
Rooney let out a triumphant cry, silencing Breeze’s protest. “Found it!” He held up an Italian hoagie wrapped in white paper.
“How long has that been in there?” Michael asked, twisting the screw into the cork.
“Long enough to make me worry your dad got to it first.” Rooney closed the refrigerator door with the toe of his sneaker. “Where is the old man anyway?”
Michael tugged the screw upward, freeing the cork from the bottleneck with a soft pop. “Probably upstairs in bed.”
“But it’s only ten o’clock!” Breeze shrieked, grabbing the wine from Michael and taking a swig. “That poor guy. He must be so depressed and lonely. Let’s go cheer him up. Rooney, you bring the bong.”
Michael clamped his hands on Breeze’s shoulders, spun her around and led her out the front door. “Too late, we’re leaving.”
“Finally!” Breeze skipped out the front door with a childlike burst of enthusiasm while waving the bottle of wine overhead like a trophy. She leaped through the snow in the front yard, mimicking an astronaut on the moon, and made her way toward Michael’s truck.
