by Jaye Cox
Once we finish choosing his cake, we go pick out decorations -nothing fancy, just your typical happy birthday banner and some balloons. Tommy insists we buy party hats and party poppers. I tell him Audrey will be at the party; he just laughs and says that will just make it so much funnier. I go over the list again; Romeo will buy all the alcohol and drop it over; Sam will put up the decorations; Ty will be home to let in the caterers and Dex and Morris will set up the music. James just has to make sure he has Audrey, Abigail and Boston get here on time. Everyone has to be dropped off or catch a taxi - I made sure everyone understood that rule and made them swear to tell everyone of Rayne’s work colleagues and friends as well. We finish shopping just in time for lunch, and Tommy insists we stop at the botanical gardens on the way home.
"Now is no time to stop and look at flowers - I’m hungry and you don't mess with a pregnant woman and her food."
"Bells, it won't take long, I just need a few pictures for Uni," he says.
"Mhmmm" I look for signs he is lying to me. He has either gotten really good at lying or he really does have to take pictures for a class. I follow behind him thinking that the faster we get this done the quicker I can eat. Tommy is taking pictures with his phone so the class must not be that important. I wander behind him until I spot some coloured rose petals under a tree that has grown into an arch. It’s so beautiful with the way the light shines through the leaves, I follow the petals down to a lake where there is a picnic set up. I don't want to interrupt someone’s special moment so I turn to leave but find Rayne standing behind me with a single rose held out in front of him. “Have lunch with me, Tiny Dancer," he says as he hands me the rose and slips his hand in mine.
"I would love to, but what about Tommy?" I taunt.
"This was a setup and he has gone” he points out, taking me down to the blanket. We sit on the blanket overlooking the lake, which is breathtaking with a fountain in the middle and little baby ducks swimming after their mother. Rayne pulls out containers of fruit and sandwiches. He has definitely put a lot of thought into this picnic.
"This is beautiful, Rayne. I can't believe you went to so much trouble." He takes both my hands and interlocks our fingers. He is looking into my eyes and for the first time in a long time there is no darkness, no worry, just happiness and that makes my heart swell with joy. To know he is content with his life in this moment, the same way I am when I’m with him; I know we are meant to be together regardless of everything that’s happened. We’re finally getting our happy ever after.
"I swore to you Isabella Elizabeth Preston, I would spend the rest of my life making it up to you, showing you that you are it for me. You're the rainbow after my storm, the light to my darkness. You complete me, Tiny Dancer - I will love you forever and even then I will find a way to keep on loving you."
"I love you too, Rayne, forever and always." He has not dropped eye contact and even though his eyes are almost black, I love the new spark they have. He leans in and kisses me so softly, I kiss him back and even though his hair is cut shorter, it’s still long enough to run my hands through. When he pulls away from the kiss, it takes a few moments for me to realize it’s over, but I still have my eyes closed. I run my fingers across my lips, they’re still tingling. As I open my eyes I find him smiling at me. He knows what he has done - that he has turned my insides to mush.
We talk baby names and come up with a few good ideas. We are both agreed on a boy’s name, but cannot agree on a girl’s name. I like really girly names and he likes girl’s names that could also be boy’s names like Dylan. We agree to wait until we know for sure before we talk about it more.
"So Tiny Dancer... my birthday, have you made any plans?" he asks. I know he is fishing for surprise party information, just as I’m sure he has been harassing his mum to see what she knows. What he doesn't know is I’m smarter than he is and made sure I covered all bases.
"Actually I have. After we have the ultrasound, the guys have some boy time planned something about golf and after that you're all mine. I was thinking we could go see a movie before I take you out to dinner."
"Sounds like a good plan a nice quiet night." He tries to hide the disappointment in his voice. For someone who wants a surprise party so bad, you’d think he would stop prying information out of people. We lie down for a while and Rayne rests his head on my belly and sings With Arms Wide Open by Creed - I had never really listened to the meaning behind words before. The song is beautiful and heart-felt, and I lose myself in his voice and the song. Apparently the baby likes the sound of his voice too, because I feel the first real movement.
"Holy fuck, did you feel that?" Rayne says, shocked he just got kicked in the head.
"I did."
"It wasn't hard, just like a little pop right under my ear. He must like my singing."
"He?" I question.
"Yes, he. All the Hollywood men have sons first."
"What if he is a she?"
"Just wait and see Tiny Dancer," he smiles. We spend a while longer just lazing around and when I start to doze off, Rayne says he will take me home for a nap. He packs up the picnic and I see my car, which means Tommy must have taken Rayne’s motorbike. I’m sure he loved that.
I'm asleep by the time we get home and Rayne insists on carrying me inside, even though he woke me up trying to lift me out of the car. He tells me to close my eyes and pretend to be asleep so he feels all manly. Mocking him, I tell him he is so manly, he doesn’t need to carry me inside to prove that. He laughs and carries me to bed, brings me a juice, gets in beside me and closes his eyes. It doesn't take long before he is asleep and I watch as his chest moves up and down, his breathing evens out and he does this cute nose twitch. I can see myself falling asleep with him every night and waking up to him every morning. I get out my baby diary and write another note to our baby. I try to write in it as often as I can, more as a diary for myself.
Dear Baby,
Your daddy sang to you for the first time today on our picnic. He brought tears to my eyes with the amount of love he has for you already. I didn't think anyone could love you as much as I do, but when you kicked him in the ear, I knew from the look in his eyes he loves you more than anything in this world. Please be a boy, otherwise your daddy has some horrible girls names picked out, boy names but he says they are unisex names.
I think girls should have pretty names, but we will wait until we know for sure. I plan to make things official on daddy’s birthday and we will be a family. At first I wasn't sure I was doing it for the right reasons; I thought I was only doing it for you, but every day he amazes me and shows me what an amazing person he is and how lucky we will be with him in our lives.
I love you more than words can explain.
xxoo Mummy
I lie down next to Rayne and watch him sleep. I cannot wait to see where life takes us, but I’m glad I get to do it with him by my side. We had a rocky start to our relationship, and it seemed like no matter what we did, something would get in the way and try to tear us apart, but now we have come out of that stronger and in the process added two family members. I’m glad Ty came into my life - he is like another brother I never had. I close my eyes with a smile on my face. My life is perfect and for the first time I ’m happy to accept it’s not perfection. I’m okay with all our imperfections, we’re perfectly imperfect together.
CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE
Today I’m a nervous wreck, we find out the baby’s sex. Rayne is still dead set that we’re having a boy, but I think we are having a girl, even though we’re happy either way.
I send out texts to everyone before Rayne wakes up, to make sure they all know where they have to be and when. Sam sends me a very nasty text back because she’s a grumpy bitch in the mornings, so I text her back and tell her if she doesn't get up, I will send Tommy and all his cheer over to make her. It’s unusual for Tommy to sleep in late, he likes to get up and run in the mornings. I made sure when I texted Tommy he promised to invite Natalie. I need to
try make her see we are just friends; I have to at least try to get them back together. I can't wait any longer to wake him up and give him his birthday presents. I sneak into the spare room that we are turning into the nursery to wake him up. He insisted he stay here last night, so we could both go to his parents’ house for breakfast this morning. I sit on the edge of the bed; and when I say sit I mean I plopped myself on the bed hard enough to make my presence known, which isn't hard these days at four months pregnant. I’ve already gained five kilos and I swear most of it’s in my ass, it is huge, if it gets any bigger I will be off balance and fall over.
"Wakey, wakey, birthday boy," I say, as I run my hand through his hair and my finger down the side of his face along the day old stubble. He looks so peaceful when he sleeps.
"Five more minutes please," he grumbles, pulling the pillow over his head. I place his gifts on the bedside table and get ready for his struggle. He is getting up now; I know Rayne and five more minutes to him does not mean the same to me. My five minutes is more like three minutes, and five to him is more like an hour. He is laying on his side with the blanket pulled right up and tucked under his body, with the pillow over his head. I put one of my legs over the other side of his body and straddle him, leaning down over his blanket covered body and put my head under the pillow.
"I have presents."
"In that case I should get up then," he says, even though he still has his eyes closed.
"Really?" I say, taking my head out from under the pillow. Between his morning breath and mine, it’s not good in one small combined space.
"Nope, five more minutes.” Now he’s in for it - I rip the blanket out from around him and throw it on the floor. He wasn't expecting that but he anticipates the pillow and has a firm grip, but I’m a little distracted now by his naked body. I’d almost forgotten how good he looks naked and my mouth waters at the sight of him. He is perfectly tanned, with arm muscles to die for, lickable V's, a nice toned ass and as he rolls over I have never been happier than I am right now to see morning wood. This is another panty throwing, drool wiping moment - I get so lost in eye fucking him I don't even notice he is awake and watching me.
"I thought this was my birthday not yours," he says, startling me and I nearly fall off the side of the bed.
"Finally. I thought I may have had to get Tommy's help to wake you up."
"Thank God I woke up when I did. That dude’s way too happy in the mornings, that it should be illegal."
"I want to give you your first present."
"Give away, Tiny Dancer," he says sitting up. I have never given presents to someone who is naked before. As much as I love to see him naked, it’s very distracting, so I pick up his boxer briefs and throw them at him.
"Put them on you're distracting me." He puts them on with a huge ass smile on his face, because he knows what he is doing and I will have to pay him back for that tonight once everyone leaves, or maybe I will take a photo of myself in my new lingerie and send it to him halfway through the night, so he has to wait hours to see me in it. I hand him his presents saying "It’s only small, I didn't know what you would like."
"Tiny Dancer, you are enough for me." He opens the first present; personalized guitar picks I bought off eBay, some with a picture of us that were taken when we first got together and a few with a picture of me Rayne took. He loves that picture so much he made it his screen saver on his phone. It wasn't easy trying to pinch his phone and send myself the picture. I also had some made with the picture of the baby from our last ultrasound. I look up and he has a single tear in his eye. "Tiny Dancer - this is the most thoughtful present anyone has ever bought me, I love it."
"I noticed your pick collection when we lived together," I whisper. I feel like I was snooping through his diary when I found the picks like they tell his life story. There are hundreds of them and some are amazing, I spent hours just looking at them.
"You saw my collection?" he asks.
"I wasn't snooping, I was trying to make more room for all my shoes and the box was just there."
"It’s okay that you’ve seen them. I’ll show you them again one day; there are a lot of memories in that box, both good and bad and I want to share them with you. I want you to know everything about me."
"It’s your birthday, so I will try not to cry too much. Open the other one."
It’s a guitar pick I came across one night at a pub. I found it in a box of stuff I packed up, when I got out of Sky Oaks, with anything that reminded me of Rayne. A few weeks ago I pulled the box out and it was on top, dark green with flickers of light green through it and when I picked it up and saw it in the light and thought how fitting it was that it resembles kryptonite. I had it inscribed on the front; it says My kryptonite and I had it put on a chain. It seemed like a good idea at the time, but as he runs his fingers over the pick I start to second-guess myself.
"My kryptonite," he says reading it.
"You're my kryptonite, my weakness, but I can't live without you, I need you in my life like I need air to breathe."
"Tiny Dancer, I need you in my life more than you know. I might be your kryptonite, but you're my strength." All my self-control crumbles with the way he is looking at me; with the way he runs his fingers along my jaw. I look away in hopes I can regain some self-control. When he lowers his fingers under my chin and lifts my head, I slowly open my eyes and all the worry and self-doubt melts away. He must feel the same way. When he leans in and puts his lips to mine, the kiss starts out soft and passionate, our mouths moving together harmoniously, until he places his hand on the back of my head; that’s when the kiss becomes desperate. Like every fibre of our beings needed this kiss, our lips collide, our tongues touch - too desperate to take time to care. I straddle him again and he stops kissing me long enough to take his shirt off me. He kisses down my neck like a man on a mission, until he reaches my nipples. Sucking hard on one, he pinches the other and it’s a pleasurable pain. I grind my hips into him and arch my body; I almost see stars with the pleasure that’s running through my body. He wets a finger in his mouth, moves my underwear to the side and plays with my clit; it’s been so long that every flick sends shocks through my body. I try to stay quiet because Ty is in the next room and bite my lip to muffle the sound. "Fuck, you're so wet,” he says.
"Oh God, Rayne, fuck me now." In the blink of an eye he lifts me up and slides himself slowly inside me. The slow movements are like torture and my body needs to move so bad I start to tremble.
"Stay still Tiny Dancer, it’s been so long. I need to feel my cock inside you." The trembling doesn't stop, he is so still, I can feel the veins on his dick pulsating and with every throb, and I have mini orgasms zapping through my body. I can't physically wait any longer and my body takes over. I lean back and rock my hips deep into him, he places his hands on my ass and guides my movements. He is still propped up a little on the head of the bed, so every time I move forward my clit rubs along the base of his dick. Unable to wait any longer I orgasm so hard, I scream his name and ride out the waves of pleasure. He must be able to tell I’m not moving anytime soon after an orgasm like that, my body has nothing left to give, so he lifts me up and carefully flips me over, watching he doesn't grip my belly too hard. He runs the head of his dick over my clit a few times and my body reaches with jolts of pleasure. I think I mumble for him to fuck me hard but I can't be too sure. He enters me suddenly, then hesitates only for a split second before he fucks me hard; so hard the bed is banging against the wall. I keep saying fuck me harder over and over. When I get a second burst of energy, his hands are on my hips pulling me back into him with every thrust. I feel another orgasm building. He must know I’m close again, because he moves one hand to play with my clit again and that’s enough to make me come. I feel myself tighten around him, and he goes still, then I feel him thicken and pulsate inside me.
My arms give out and I flop down onto the bed and pull the covers over my head.
"Tiny Dancer, I remember you telling me
not so long ago to get up," he says.
"I can't, I think I’m dead," I say and his laugh echoes through the room.
"Death by orgasm, now that’s how I want to go," he says. Lifting the blanket at my feet, he gets under the blanket and kisses up my leg until he reaches my belly.
"Hey buddy, tell your mum how hungry you are and grandma will have lots of birthday breakfast for daddy ready. There will be eggs and bacon and maybe I even requested pancakes," he says sweetly.
"Pancakes? Why didn't you say that earlier, we could have skipped the orgasms."
"Only you would skip sex for food."
"No, only for pancakes," I say as I slip his shirt over my head. “Let’s go shower Cowboy, and get the baby some food." After we shower, we walk out to the lounge room and Ty is watching the morning news, eating his breakfast.
"You're up early, Ty? I thought you had the day off?"
"I do have the day off, but my roommate was starring in a porno this morning, so now I’m up and I’m horny," he says.
"Sucks to be you brother, go have a pull. Do you want to come to the parents for breakfast?" Rayne asks.
"I'm good, I have things to take care of so I will see you later on," Ty says, getting up and putting his dishes in the sink. I think I’m officially mortified, I knew we were a little loud but not loud enough to wake him up.
