by Jaye Cox
You let me sing my own song
You amaze me each day by being you
You are my reason for being
My strength
I am yours
You are mine
Of this we are certain
You hold the key to my heart
It is forever and always yours.
It’s hard to not cry when I see her crying, she tries hard to gather herself.
Rayne through your eyes, I found you
Through your heart, I found love
Through your soul, I found life
With you I am no longer half, I am whole
You make me laugh, you let me cry
You are my breath, my reason to breathe
My kryptonite
I am yours
You are mine
Of this we are certain
You hold the key to my heart
It is forever and always yours.
By the time we exchange rings Tiny Dancer and Sam are both crying again. Sam is pulling tissues out of her dress and putting them in Tommy’s pocket for him to give Tiny Dancer when she needs them. The poor guy will have a pocket full of soggy tissues. Now we’re at the part of the ceremony I have been most looking forward to,
"I now pronounce you husband and wife, you may kiss your bride." I kiss her so she knows later tonight, I plan on ripping her dress of and showing her how much I love her by worshipping her body. When everyone starts a slow clap, I take it as a sign that we should stop kissing. I inch away and she looks up at me with her beautiful big blue eyes. I love the look in her eyes she gets right before she tells me she loves me.
"I love you, husband."
"I love you, wife."
The celebrant makes us all walk over to a table where we sign our wedding certificate. I love that John Legend is playing in the background and hum to the words. Time flies and before I know it the photographer is taking a million photos, making us stand in all these weird ways and do some stupid shit she claims will make great photos. I’ll take her word for it. As we walk in to the reception, the MC announces us as Mr. and Mrs. Rayne Hollywood.
"I need to sit down, my legs hurt," Tiny Dancer says.
"Go sit, I will get you a drink." I go off to get some drinks and see Richard and my mum walk over towards my beautiful wife and I don’t think I will ever get sick of hearing that.
"Congrats, mate," Tommy says.
"Thanks, you made a beautiful Maid of Honor by the way."
"Ha ha, funny man."
"Can you take my wife a drink? I have a surprise."
"Yeah, no worries." I go over to the stage where the wedding singer hands me the mic.
"If everybody could please take their seats? Firstly, thank you everybody for coming to share our special day with us. Now I have a surprise for my beautiful wife. This song is called Beautiful In White." The song is an expression of everything I feel today and how much I love her and how beautiful she looks.
ISABELLA
Today has been perfect. I couldn't have imagined everything would go to plan; that is until Rayne starts to sing to me. I start getting some painful Braxton Hicks. Doctor Layne said they’re quite common in late pregnancy. The song Rayne is singing is beautiful, I have always secretly liked Westlife and by the time we have our first dance to, It’s You by Westlife, a song with perfect the words and meaning, the Braxton Hicks seemed to be coming ten minutes apart. Doctor Layne said first labours were usually long, sometimes days, so these pains must be nothing compared to the real thing. I hold on to my husband a little tight and he must realize something is up. "What’s wrong?" he whispers in my ear as we sway to the music, being nearly nine months pregnant I don't have any dance in me.
"I had one of those Braxton Hicks contractions."
"Do I need to time them or rub anything?"
"It’s fine, just dance with me." As the song is finishing, my father walks over.
"May I have this dance?" he asks as he taps Rayne on the shoulder.
"Richard as much as I would love to dance with you, I think Tiny Dancer would get a little jealous."
"Still a wise-ass I see."
"You know now I should start calling you dad."
"Let’s not push it now," my father says chuckling.
"I will be over there with my mum, if you need me," Rayne tells me as he walks off.
My father signals them to change the music. I let him pick the song and much to my surprise he picked a Tim McGraw song, My Little Girl it’s a beautiful song. I never thought my dad listened to country music. My father has not hugged me like this since I was a little girl; he sings the words and we sway together.
"My little girl is all grown up and having a family of her own. I’m so happy for you, Isabella, and I’m so proud of the beautiful woman you have become. I couldn’t have wished for a better daughter."
"I love you too, Dad." Once the song is over I make my way to the bathroom, before I get hit with another contraction. They’re coming a bit closer now and I’m trying to ignore them until after the reception. In the bathroom I get a big one and have to grip the sink, once it passes I try to use the bathroom but silly, I picked a stupid dress that I cannot pull up so I start to cry, wondering why this is happening now.
"Why now Jagger? This is my day, you can have every other day."
"Are you okay in there?" Ruby asks.
"No. I can't pee with this stupid dress; I need it off now."
"Um would you like some help?" she says, opening the door.
"Yes," I say, but it comes out more of a sob. She unstraps my dress at the back.
"Now I look ridiculous," I say when I see myself in the mirror.
"It’s my wedding day and I’m big and fat standing in a bathroom with someone I barely know in my underwear.”
"Don't be silly you look hot, fat belly and all. Now I see why some people dig pregnant chicks, if only you were single," she says.
"I didn't know you’re a lesbian?"
"I’m not - I like to call myself a try sexual."
"Trisexual," I say skeptically.
"Yeah. You know, someone who tries anything once?" she says, as she fixes my make-up.
"And don't tell my brother, he can get a big stick wedged right up his ass when we talk about my choices,”
"Not Ty, he is awesome."
"Awesomely annoying." She makes me laugh; I think we’ll get along great. I hope she sticks around, and I know Ty likes having her around. They seem to fight so much, but you can see the love they have for each other.
"Oh God." I grab on to the sink again.
"What? What’s wrong?"
"I need to find Rayne."
"Okay, hold on," Ruby says. She runs and opens the bathroom door and Romeo must have been walking past, because she drags him into the bathroom.
"Shit Tiny Dancer, why are you in your underwear? Rayne will kill me," he says, turning around.
"Take of your shirt, dumbass, we need it." He starts taking off his shirt.
"I’m going to find Rayne, you stay here with her," Ruby instructs him.
"Let’s not tell him I saw anything. I want to keep my face looking like this."
"I’m sure you’ll be fine," I say, taking his shirt and putting it on. It’s huge on me; it could pass as a dress.
"You can turn around now," I say and holy cow, why is this man single. I get another contraction and they’ve gotten closer together. Rayne comes running in like a mad man, with Ruby close behind him.
"Tiny Dancer, are you okay?"
"I think Jagger didn't want to miss the wedding after all."
"Holy shit Romeo. Who’d have thought you had all that going on," Ruby says. It’s nice to see I’m not the only woman affected by Romeo.
"Isabella can I come in?” Tommy’s mum says.
"Yes please," I say.
"How far apart are your contractions, honey?"
"I don’t know - maybe five minutes?"
"How long have you been get
ting them?"
"I’ve had a few all day, but when we got here they started to get more frequent."
"You should go to the hospital and get checked out."
"No, it’s my wedding and I want cake, it’s pretty and this is my day."
"Tiny Dancer, please let’s just go. We will save the cake until after you have the baby," Rayne pleads with me. Now everyone is in the bathroom or watching from the door.
"No. I’m not ready. He isn't due for another eight days, it’s just a false alarm, I’ll be fine," I say locking myself in the toilet. Tommy even tries to convince me to come out and I tell him to piss off. It’s my day and I want cake.
"Tiny Dancer, you get your ass out here now and get to hospital. I lost one important person on a wedding day and I will not stand here and let you do this. On three I will jump over and drag you out if I have to," Dex threatens and I’ve never seen Dex pissed before. I open the door, and he is standing right there.
"I’m so sorry Dex, I didn't even think about how this would affect you today." I feel really guilty. Dex had filled me in a little on his wife Amanda and how she died and here I am, acting like a spoiled child without even thinking about what today might mean to him.
“It’s hard, but I’m fine now, but this isn’t about me. Go with your husband and have a baby."
Rayne holds my hand as we walk out, I feel horrible about my little tantrum. Honestly, I’m scared shitless about the pain, should it get worse than this, and about having a baby.
My father gives me a hug and says they will all pack up and meet us down there shortly. Tommy and Sam come with us. Sam is my birth partner and voice of reason, she has my birth plan. Tommy is my best friend and I don’t want him to miss this big step in my life; he has agreed to stay at the head end and Rayne agreed that would be best.
"Mum will meet us there, she left straight away"
"I’m happy she will be the one to deliver Jagger"
"She is over the moon that you asked her, Bells"
"Sam, call Ty and ask him to go home and get my bags?"
"He already said he would. Stop stressing and focus."
"Oh shit, it hurts, I think I need drugs. I want drugs, Sam, and lots of them."
"That isn’t what you wanted in your birth plan."
"Screw the birth plan, no one told me it hurts this bad and it’s only the start."
"Just breathe and count them down," Rayne says. When we get to the hospital and I get to maternity, I’m taken straight to the birth suite, I get a cannula put in and get hooked up to a machine that will show the midwives Jagger’s heartbeat and my contractions.
Tommy’s mum makes Tommy and Sam step out, so they can check how far I’m dilated. Rayne looks a little bit white and is very quiet, maybe he is in shock.
"You're five centimetres already, Isabella."
"Is that good? Five is halfway, right?" Rayne says.
"Five is great, Rayne." Another contraction builds its way up and it hurts more than the last one and lasts longer this time. I try to breathe through it as Tommy and Sam come back in.
"I want the epidural, it hurts too much."
"How about we try the shower first, I got your bag off Ty." Sam pulls out my birthing bikinis. Yep. She made me buy them so if I wanted to shower knowing Tommy would be here that I could cover up. Rayne helps me to the bathroom and helps me into the bikini with bottoms that tie up at the side. She said having easy access would be handy when I need to take them off.
My labour progresses fast and after two hours in the shower, rocking on a birthing ball, I start to get a strange feeling. Tommy’s mum gets me back in the bed to check how far dilated I am.
"You are at ten centimetres, Isabella. You can push whenever you feel ready." The pain is unbearable at this point, with contractions head to tail.
"Sam I hate you. You should’ve just LET ME HAVE THE DRUGS!" I yell, as I get another contraction and make sure to squeeze her hand extra hard.
"Tiny Dancer, you are doing great."
"Oh shit. I think I need to push," I manage to say, as I get an overwhelming feeling to push like I have no control over it. My body has decided it’s time to push and I get no say in the matter.
"Get your catcher’s mitt ready, mum" Tommy says.
"Shut up, Tommy or it will be your balls I squeeze next," I bite out. There are two other midwives in the room along with Tommy’s mum; they ’re all gowning up and turning the lights on the baby bed they have set up in the corner.
After another push Rayne comes back up from the ‘fun end’, as he has been calling it. "Tiny Dancer, he has hair. I can see it more with every push." I just nod as another push comes. Tommy grabs my hand; Sam wipes the sweat from my face and does some breathing techniques we learned in antenatal classes.
After what feels like an hour of pushing I feel like giving up, I'm tired and it hurts. I keep trying to tell myself every push is closer to seeing Jagger and that keeps me going.
"On the next push give it everything you have until I tell you to stop."
Tommy takes my hand again, Rayne is holding up one of my legs and I push until I have no push left.
"It burns so bad," I say.
"It’s normal, Isabella. His head is almost out.”
"Stop pushing now, let's wait until the contraction then push again but not so hard this time. We only need a small push."
"The heads out, Tiny Dancer; his little head..." On the next push I feel the strangest feeling and then he is put on my chest while one of the midwives rubs him over. Rayne is back at my side.
"You did it, I love you so much," he says, giving me a kiss on the forehead.
"He is perfect," I say staring at Jagger. I look up into Rayne’s eyes and he is crying again, for the second time today.
"How did I get so lucky, you became my wife and our son was born all in one day?"
"He didn't want to miss our wedding day after all."
The doctor comes in and checks me over, telling me I need a few stitches. I tell Rayne to go with Jagger while he is being weighed and dressed. Rayne freaks out, even though Tommy’s mum tells him he has nothing to worry about. I ask Sam to go help him and Tommy stays with me to hold my hand while I get stitches. He says if it’s anything like the time I had stitches in my foot when I was ten after cutting my foot trying to prove princesses can do boy stuff as well, I screamed the hospital down the whole time they stitched me. I only need three stitches, and it didn’t take much time at all.
"They’re taking Jagger to the nursery to check his breathing. He was making a weird noise and will bring him straight back to your room," Rayne says.
"I'm allowed to have a shower now," I say and Tommy takes that as his cue to leave. Sam says they will go wait with the others and show them pictures. Rayne helps me into the shower, and I feel like I ’m ninety. Trying to walk hurts a lot, but with Rayne’s help I get showered and dressed. By the time I get back to my room a nurse is bring Jagger back. Rayne goes to see our families to let them know they can come back tomorrow for a visit. The nurse tells me he weighed in at seven pounds exactly and was born at 12:02 am. We’re going to be busy every year with our wedding anniversary on the twenty-third, Jagger’s birthday on the twenty-fourth and Christmas on the twenty-fifth. After the nurse shows me how to breastfeed, Rayne comes back and gives Jagger a hug and tells me to get some sleep.
I’m completely exhausted and close my eyes. I’m not sure how long I’m asleep for but I wake up when I hear Jagger stirring. Rayne starts singing him a song I heard him sing a few times before, when he thought I was sleeping. It’s a song by Usher called Prayer For You. I lie there quietly and watch him cradle Jagger’s head in his hand, staring at him, and tears roll down my face. We created a family, our own little miracle. Rayne smiles at me when he realizes I'm watching him. He brings Jagger over and sits on the bed next to me. Jagger opens his eyes and looks at me. His eyes are so dark, so pure. Any worries I had about not being a good mum disappear. I know we won't be the
perfect parents. This last year I have learned no one can be perfect, but I do know we will be the perfect parents for him and that is all that matters.
THE END
Author Bio
Jaye Cox was born in Frankston Victoria and as a young child, she moved to sunny Queensland. Jaye is a wife and mother to six kids. While raising her children for the last twelve years, she decided she wanted to pursue her love of writing, which started with her love of reading. It is the one thing that became her break and escape from the insanity of a large family. Jaye loves being a full-time mother and wife, watching her kids grow and enjoying every minute of it. You will a catch her with her family having family barbecues every weekend during the warmer months, and enjoying life to the fullest.
