by Oates, Carol
“Are you okay?” he whispered. His warm breath combined with the coolness of Candra’s damp skin tickled her.
She turned her face to him and could see his trepidation. His eyes caught the dying light, reflecting the shimming rose color of the slowly waning day.
“It’s so beautiful,” she sighed.
Sebastian let out a long steady breath. It had the strangest effect on Candra, making the hairs rise on her arms and her nerves vibrate below her skin. Every fiber of her being seemed to reach out to draw him closer.
“Hey, I can breathe just fine.” It hit her that they were very high up and the air must be thinner, yet she had no problem breathing. She should be feeling cold too, but she didn’t.
He smirked, one side of his lips pulling up more than the other. “See, I told you it wasn’t all bad. It’s the angel blood inside you that allows you to do this.”
“But if there was no one else like me, how did you know?”
“I took a calculated guess that if you could heal, you could do this too.”
“You guessed?” Candra couldn’t keep the accusation from her tone.
“You are in no danger with me, Candra—ever. I can feel your breath and heartbeat; I can feel your blood moving under your skin and the temperature of your body. I would have stopped if you were in danger. My only concern is that you don’t want to be this close to me.”
Candra searched his expression for any hint that he was playing with her again, but there was none. They turned in slow circles, and her grip on his neck loosened a little. Her hands skimmed the silky hair at the nape of his neck to behind his ear. Sebastian closed his eyes again, leaning into her touch. She loved how his hair felt against her skin. Even damp, it felt like fine, smooth threads. She looked down, watching the top of his chest rise and fall, knowing there was nowhere for either of them to run, but also knowing she didn’t want to. That was the hardest part of all: knowing as the stars multiplied, the sky turned velvet, and the moon cast them in silver light, that she didn’t want to be anywhere else or with anyone else. The distant sounds of the city blurred to nothing, leaving only the calming swish of Sebastian’s wings.
Candra closed her eyes as tears burned and trickled over. This moment was perfect. It couldn’t be any more perfect, and yet she knew it was just that—it was only a moment. It was a dream, and dreams were only the imagining of a fanciful mind; they weren’t reality.
“Hey, hey,” he murmured into her hair when she released a quiet sob and leaned her face against his shoulder. “Don’t cry. I really can’t handle that female stuff. Haven’t you figured that out yet?”
Candra couldn’t help smiling through the tears and looked back up to him. “I’m sorry. I guess you’ve really swept me off my feet.” She laughed sadly, unable to wipe the tears away.
“Literally,” he quipped, to make her laugh, she knew. His arms tightened around her again. “I really don’t want to let you go,” he said, all the lightness gone from his tone. His eyes darkened with intensity in the way that made her feel he was connecting into her soul.
It was the first time that Candra allowed herself to believe, if only for that moment, that what Draven said was true and maybe Sebastian’s feelings for her ran deeper than either of them wanted to admit out loud.
Just as Candra thought it, she realized what she had been denying to herself and everyone else. She had been falling in love with Sebastian this whole time, and she didn’t know until that moment, because she had nothing to compare it to. Her insides clenched tightly, and her heart felt as if someone had it in a tight grasp, strangling the life out of her. Fresh tears spilled down her cheeks. She didn’t want to cry or show her weakness, although that was exactly what she was doing.
For some reason the words of the dream she had about this park came back to her, the younger her on the swing. I want to fly, she had said to her father, and he’d warned her even then.
But what if you fall?
I’m not afraid, Candra had told him in the dream. But she was afraid. Every barrier she had kept up against the emotions she felt for Sebastian shattered, and the fledging love for him flooded through, overwhelming her.
“Don’t,” Sebastian pleaded in a strained sigh, watching her tears as if they were daggers stabbing at him.
Candra closed her eyes so she wouldn’t have to look at him. She couldn’t bear to, because this was all they had. In three days, it would all be over, and she was expected to walk away. Sebastian would walk away. He had promised to be there for her at the ball, but Candra was sure he would never be able to keep that promise. If his feelings were even a fraction of what she felt, how would he ever watch her go to Draven? Her fingers tightened, gripping his hair until she was sure it must have hurt, but he barely seemed to register it.
It was nearly insufferable to think that Sebastian had entered her life without invitation and would leave without request. It wasn’t fair that he believed he was the only one affected. That he thought he could come in, shake her by the shoulders, and twist her into someone she didn’t recognize, then saunter out as if she would spring back like a rubber band. Even rubber could crumble.
Without any warning, she felt soft, warm skin brushing her tear stained cheek. Sebastian kissed her tears. She didn’t move or open her eyes, staying perfectly still, holding onto him. She felt his lips touch her other cheek just as tenderly, and his nose skimmed her skin, only slightly cooler than his lips.
She blinked and opened her eyes. Sebastian was staring at her, his eyebrows pulled down in a frown, making lines form over his nose. His jaw was tensed, and the tendons strained in his neck when he swallowed. He looked like a man holding a tremendous emotional weight on his shoulders: confused, angry, and scared, straining under the great force bearing down on him. Candra saw her own reflection in the depths of his eyes; he looked like her.
“Is this real?” she asked Sebastian unsteadily, as his lips neared hers agonizingly slowly.
They were both battling raging waters, maybe from the beginning, and neither of them stood a chance. She cursed a destiny that would take her away from him. She closed her eyes and felt his breath on her lips as they floated through the night, above the city and the clouds, where no one could see them.
Sebastian’s fingers pressed into her back at her waist, finding bare skin where her shirt was ripped and had ridden up. It was fire and ice. It was never meant to happen and still it had.
“There’s a legend about the moon,” he breathed against Candra’s lips.
“There are several,” she murmured. Her entire body tingled with the anticipation of kissing him, and she knew without a doubt he wanted it too. Their position left little to the imagination.
She felt him smile, tantalizingly close, no doubt smiling at her inability to refrain from correcting him.
“This story tells of a time when there was a perfect world, when everything existed in blissful harmony and the sun and moon shared the sky together—day and night, in an endless dusk. One time while the sun was resting, the moon strayed further than normal from his side and encountered small bright lights in the sky. When the sun returned, they vanished. The moon told the sun that she must leave too, that they must separate even though they didn’t want to because there were many lights in the sky that would shine only in the presence of the moon. So reluctantly, the moon left. It was what she had to do.
“But the sun didn’t want her to leave and still loves her with a burning passion. So he spends forever chasing her across the sky, existing on only brief glimpses of her in the distance on the very edge of day, because even though she runs from him to protect the stars, he can’t help but love her.”
Candra nodded minutely. She hoped she was understanding correctly what he was trying to say in his usual messed up way. They were right, Draven and Ivy. Candra felt so stupid because she hadn’t seen it in him and she couldn’t see it in herself. Sebastian was in love with her, and despite everything, she had fallen in love with him to
o.
Before she could tell Sebastian, his lips touched hers with a featherlight caress that set her body on fire, then again with more pressure. His lips were full and soft, and she responded to him, allowing him to guide the unhurried pace as their mouths molded to each other’s. His tongue peeked out to caress her bottom lip, then met hers in a delicious, painfully slow rhythm.
Sebastian tasted of fresh mint and salt, like the sea and sweet spices she couldn’t remember the name of but which reminded her of home and comfort. Candra melted against his body, feeling his lungs stutter in ragged breaths. His fingers played over the small area of her skin where his hands rested but never moved far from the same spot. All too soon it was over, and he dragged his lips away, pressing his forehead to hers.
“What have you done to me, Candra?” Sebastian forced out through gritted teeth. The groan that followed was tortured.
She didn’t answer because she didn’t know what to say. She had done nothing more to him than he had done to her. She loved him too and was about to tell him.
“Open your eyes,” Sebastian told her in a hushed voice.
When Candra did, she realized they were back at her house, and Sebastian was standing on the roof. She suddenly felt embarrassed to be clinging onto a half-naked man. His wings were gone, and her leg had begun to throb a little again. The moment was over.
Candra slithered a little awkwardly down his body, feeling him flinch when she accidently skimmed the front of his jeans. She didn’t mean to; it was difficult to avoid because of the way her legs had been wrapped around him. She couldn’t deny any longer that she wanted Sebastian to be affected by her. She wanted to believe that he was the sun and she was the moon and that he would never give up on her. She had barely felt the cut on her leg while they had been flying. She knew it had stopped bleeding because she could feel the tightness in the bandage that had stuck to the raw flesh. Candra resisted putting her weight on it in case the muscle stretching would pull at the skin.
“Now, I heal you,” Sebastian pressed, reaching into his pocket for the curleax.
Candra couldn’t argue with him; she was already looking forward to being rid of the injury.
There was a sudden loud whooshing sound overhead. Sebastian’s soft expression hardened, and his whole body became rigid. Candra looked up in time to see Draven drop from the sky like a giant eagle about to pluck its next meal from the ground. He landed with an almost silent thump on the roof. Within a fraction of a second, Sebastian’s equally impressive plumage was on full display.
“You shouldn’t be here,” Sebastian warned darkly, pulling Candra close to his side. His jaw was so tensed it barely moved with the words.
Draven remained unnervingly stoic. His sleek wings fluttered before collapsing to his back. “I was informed Candra was injured, and I am here to check on her condition.”
“What, you’re spying on me?” Candra demanded, feeling her cheeks flush. Maybe they hadn’t been alone up there after all.
“Only on the ground, and for your own safety,” Draven insisted, “but I believe you didn’t remain grounded.”
“I’m taking care of Candra. She is ours to protect until the ball,” Sebastian fired back defiantly, pulling her so tightly to his side that she cringed, shrinking against him. Candra knew it would be perfectly apparent to Draven that Sebastian was claiming her as his.
The two of them were like kids, fighting over a toy in the playground. It would have been fascinating to Candra to watch the dynamics of the power struggle, if she wasn’t the toy in question. She would pledge herself to Draven despite wanting Sebastian, but in both cases, it wasn’t because of a feeble attempt to mark her as theirs. She wasn’t cattle.
Draven’s calm exterior slipped for an instant, and his eyes blazed with anger. “I can see that,” he spat.
He knew. Candra knew that he knew. She was promising herself to him and here he stood in front of Sebastian and her together. Draven couldn’t fail to notice the way she automatically curved her body toward Sebastian’s embrace or the way he held her, and Draven didn’t like it. Perhaps that was why his fingers curled into fists. In another thirty seconds they would be fighting on Candra’s roof.
“That’s enough,” she cautioned both of them, pulling herself away from Sebastian. “I will not be some prize in a game of one-upmanship between the two of you.” Luckily they both seemed to stand down—luckily because she was positive there wasn’t really anything she could do if they decided to go at it, except get out of the line of fire. “Draven, you are getting what you want.”
He seemed to relax infinitesimally. Candra wondered if that was why he was there. Did whatever he had heard since she left his presence earlier convince him she had changed her mind? She turned to Sebastian then and recoiled a little at the desperation she saw in his eyes before he managed to conceal it, taking on a mask of deadly calm and turning a glare on Draven.
“You promised me you wouldn’t make this harder. The moon, remember?”
Sebastian’s eyes darted to Candra. He nodded swiftly, letting her know he’d heard and understood.
“Draven, you need to leave. I will see you tomorrow as planned.”
“For anyone else the answer would be a resounding no. For you…I will do what you ask. We will talk tomorrow.”
Without another breath, he burst into the air with a booming whoosh and disappeared to the night.
“That’s not unsettling at all,” Candra mumbled to herself sarcastically, regarding Draven’s sudden disappearance. Not only did they fly, they were fast, and she imagined that meant Sebastian had gone easy on her, unless Draven was exceptionally fast. Either way, flying without a seatbelt or even an aircraft was another thing she probably needed to get used to. Either that or keep her feet firmly planted on the ground.
“Can we go in now please?” she asked Sebastian.
He smiled, but his jaw was still tight. He looked stiff and uncomfortable. Her immediate thought was that he regretted kissing her, and she tried her best not to let it show on her face. Candra understood this was a disaster waiting to happen. Nothing could ever come of it, no fairy tales, no happily ever after. But now that she had kissed Sebastian, she wanted to do it again. She wanted to do it a lot. There was so much about him that she still wanted to learn and understand, and they were running out of time.
They went inside, and the very first thing Candra did was change into a pair of track pants and a clean T-shirt, peeling off the makeshift bandage which had stuck to the wound. It hurt a little coming off. When she came out of the bathroom, Sebastian turned toward her, and for a moment she was caught in his gaze, unable to look away. Sebastian had also changed into track pants from the small bag that now permanently resided in the corner of the room. Sadly for Candra, he had also put on a T-shirt, covering his beautifully sculpted upper body. The air in the bedroom was viscous, electrically charged, and Candra’s heart began to pound. Sebastian spent every night here, and she had never had this reaction to him being in her room. She was nervous. Everything had suddenly changed between them.
“Come here,” Sebastian requested gently and gulped, probably loudly, but it was hard for Candra to tell with the insistent banging of her heart in her ears.
She flicked the bathroom light switch off and made her way toward him, keeping her eyes on his and clenching and flexing her fingers by her side in a vain attempt to still the butterflies that were raging in her stomach. As she got nearer, it was as if the charge grew, popping and sizzling in the air between them. The hairs on her arms began to rise, and she felt as if she’d been magnetized, drawn to Sebastian by a force she was utterly powerless against.
Again it crossed Candra’s mind that he might be regretting kissing her. She felt like a lamb being dragged to the abattoir, instead of merely herself, walking to her bed as she did every night. What would she say if Sebastian denied any feelings for her? Would she tell him how she felt regardless, knowing she was running out of chances, or would she say
nothing, preserve her dignity, and pretend it never happened?
Sebastian stepped back, leaving room between him and the edge of the bed. His shoulders were rigid, and he was breathing faster than normal. Candra stopped in front of him.
“Sit…please,” he said. His eyebrows were pulled together, fighting a frown, and his lips pressed into a hard line. His voice, although still in control, was more strained than usual.
She dragged her eyes away from his and sat down, curling her fingers into the edge of the comforter. Sebastian knelt down in front of her, one knee at a time, sitting back on his heels, and when he began to carefully roll the leg of her track pants up, she realized he still intended to heal her.
“You don’t need to—”
“You agreed,” he said flatly, tilting his face up to her. His tone held a cold note of accusation.
Candra looked into his face, but refused to meet his eyes. It seemed as if they were back to square one, except it was worse because she had finally understood that all this figuring-Sebastian-out had consequences. It led to her falling in love with him. For her, she was sure there was no way back. For him, it seemed all it took was one confrontation with Draven before he backed away. Candra never imagined Sebastian would be the type to give up so easily.
Her leg really didn’t hurt anymore. It stung a little when it rubbed on anything, but she was pretty sure it would have healed nicely on its own.
Her thoughts were interrupted when Sebastian whipped the T-shirt he was wearing over his head quickly and dropped it unceremoniously on the ground beside him. Candra’s mouth went dry at the sight of him, and the pounding in her ears returned louder than ever. She remembered he’d told her that healing made it harder to control the appearance of their wings.
“I like this one too.” He half-grinned, and his cheeks took on a slight unfamiliar blush.
