It was my father who made a beeline for me. "Nice kid that."
"He's hardly a kid, Dad," I said, giving my dad a hello kiss on the cheek.
"Yeah, but he was back when you first saw him."
"You remember him from then?"
"Sure. He's a tall, good-looking kid and he was staying over the road."
"Nona said you knew his mother."
"Walk with me." Dad took me outside, which wasn't unusual. He often showed me his latest garden upgrades. Unlike my mother who loved the madness, he enjoyed taking refuge outside. He picked up a hose and directed toward his roses. "What did Nona tell you?"
"She said you guys were in love."
"One of us was and I don't think it was her." He laughed. "He looks a lot like her. Tall, blond, she was really beautiful."
"I bet." I had seen more recent photos at his condo.
"And so smart. Crazy smart. That was part of the attraction for me. I'm not an educated guy, but back in high school I had aspirations. I was planning to go to college."
This was news to me. "But you didn't?"
"Nope, after Elise left me I kind of lost interest. I guess I thought college, like her, was out of my league."
"That's kind of sad."
He chuckled. "It wasn't just sad, it was incredibly stupid. But no one in my family had been to college, so another path was easier. Don't get me wrong. I love your mother. Elise was wrong for me, and your mother loves me in a way Elise never would."
"I think she's pretty self-centered even now."
"I gathered. Her parents kept me informed over the years. I could tell by what she didn't do, anyway. When Luke came to town, I always sought him out."
"You did?"
"Yeah, it was dumb but I felt a bit protective of him . . ."
"Who knew you had such hidden depths, Daddy?"
He chuckled again. "I know he broke your heart back then."
That floored me. Maybe my dad was much sharper than I'd been giving him credit for. "You do?"
"Yeah, I was hoping it would end differently for you, but it didn't."
"Secrets and lies are not a great basis for a relationship," I said.
"That's our fault. We were too strict. You know how your mother gets, and I had been burned by his mother, so I let her have her way with all this Italian only nonsense. You should pick who you want, then and now."
"Thanks, Daddy. I don't think it's going to work this time around either, but thanks for having my back."
"I hope you're wrong. He looks to me like a man in love."
"Maybe, but is that enough?"
Back inside it was the usual mayhem. Luke had one of my nieces on his lap and didn't look too bored as she listed her favorite cartoon princesses for him. He didn't look like he didn't fit in; actually, he looked pretty happy. He caught my eye and smiled. It wasn't a fake smile, or a help me face; it was an honest-to-goodness smile that crinkled the corners of his blue eyes.
In my ear, my sister-in-law whispered, "He's so hot."
"I know," I said. That was indisputable.
"Seriously, my ovaries are all in a titter, I can't imagine what yours are doing."
"Mine are fine. Though other parts of me are pretty happy he's here," I teased. It was easier to go along than say yes he was hot, yes he was sweet and kind, yes the sex was amazing, but he was emotionally unavailable and so tomorrow we'd be parting ways. I blinked back my tears and got busy taking some plates in to the kitchen. I could feel my Nona's eyes darting between him and me, but I was very careful not to make eye contact.
#
The shower was at a local Knights of Columbus Hall. I put Luke in a taxi back to his hotel. It was a ladies only event, and I was pretty sure he had had his fill of my family.
"I'll miss you," he said, kissing my cheek. "You're definitely coming by after, right? No matter how late."
"Yep, I'll be there."
He looked at me and it was clear he knew something was up, but like everything else, he wasn't going to ask, and, to be fair, this was not the moment.
I hopped into my mother's car with her, Nona, and trays of food. It smelled like an Italian restaurant only better.
It wasn't far, and I let my mother prattle on with some family gossip about a third cousin attending the shower.
"Looks like you'll be next," she said.
"I'm sorry?"
"Your shower, you will be next," she said as if it was the most natural conclusion in the world.
"Ma, we've been dating a week." I wanted to use one of my favorite Australian expressions, which I had learned from Piper, and tell her to pull her head in but that wouldn't have gone down well.
"What? All I'm saying is you two are a cute couple, neither of you is getting any younger, so . . ."
"Ma, please, I'm begging you. Let it be. Don't be spreading this wedding talk all over."
"A mother can dream."
I noticed Nona was quiet in the front seat. Not choosing a side. "Please, Ma, don't make this a bigger deal than it is. Luke and I are dating but it's not a long-term thing."
She turned around and looked at me, not a good idea considering she was driving. "What does that even mean?"
"Eyes forward, Ma." I noticed Nona was white-knuckling the dash. "It means that we're dating but we have no intention of getting married or settling down."
"That's crazy talk. Why date then?"
Why indeed? "We enjoy each other's company. He's in town, and it's nice to have someone to do things with but neither of us is expecting it to turn into more than that."
She shook her head. "Who lives like that?"
"Lots of people."
Inside, the shower was madness. Lucky for me, Piper and some of my favorite cousins were there to distract me.
I told her she needed to run interference about Luke and marriage for me with my older relatives, and of course she agreed.
"I still think you guys are great together," she said.
"We are, for now." Even she didn't need to know our relationship was ending tomorrow. I figured I owed it to Luke to let him be the first to know.
Being at the shower reminded me that I was a very lucky girl. Okay, I didn't have a soul mate and I was probably never going to settle for a Luke-alike now, but I did have friends and family who loved me. I was not alone and there were worse things than being single. My cousin Maria Christina was married to a man who treated her badly and whom she'd never loved; her lot was worse than mine. My aunt Theresa was suffering from horrible Parkinson’s and that was far worse, and my second cousin Anna was recovering from her sixth miscarriage. My heart broke for her. I had a nice home, a good family, and a great job. I had friends and I was lucky. I knew what love looked like and I knew what it didn't, and there was no way I was marrying someone who didn't want to love me completely. I wasn't competing with a ghost for the next fifty years.
Nona came and sat next to me. "How was the Cape?"
"It was amazing." She sighed, smiling up at me. She looked younger, different. If she'd been a younger woman, I might have speculated that her romance was physical, but it was my Nona and I really had to stop my mind from going there.
"That's good." I patted her hand. "I'm glad you've found someone who makes you happy, and if you don't want to tell the family, I'm happy to cover for you."
She patted my cheek. "You're a good girl, Cherie. And I love you."
My eyes pricked with tears. I knew my Nona loved me, but she wasn't really one to say it. "Thanks, Nona."
"Luke loves you, too. Have a bit of faith."
That was all she said. She didn't lecture me or advise at all. She just left that out there. She was right, he did love me, but did he love me enough?
#
Luke was reading in bed when I arrived. He had a faint but sexy five o'clock shadow, his shirt was unbuttoned, and he wore shorts. He looked content and very kissable. When he looked up and saw me, his face lit up. I needed to remember that look, that exact moment.
>
"Hey, fun party?" he said, snapping his book closed.
"You know my family now—so you know it was loud and crazy and, yes, it was fun."
"Were there strippers?" he asked.
"I'll never tell." There were of course. My cousin was a huge Magic Mike fan.
"It would be weird to be a stripper at the Knights of Columbus," he said.
"Don't you just think it would be weird to be a stripper anywhere?" My shoes were off and I had crossed the room. I sat on the end of the bed, just out of arm’s reach.
"Maybe, I guess Vegas would be less weird."
I shrugged. "You seem to have given this a lot of thought."
"I was bored this afternoon and I wondered if there were strippers, and then it got me thinking. We own strippers, you know?"
"You own them?" I was dating a pimp.
"Not me personally, we own the brand Striptastic America. The franchise is owned by our business."
"Really? That must have been fun to brand and market." This was not the conversation I expected to have.
"Yeah, we compete with the Australian boys, so we use the red, white, and blue pretty liberally. It was pretty simple really. Not one of my more exciting jobs."
"What's your next job?" I had put off asking where he would be off to next.
"A chain of Brazilian restaurants—they do churassco. You know, the meat on the spit style sticks."
I shook my head. I really had no idea. "Where?"
"California," he said. "Los Angeles. Most of my business is in Texas, New York, or LA."
"Boston was an anomaly?"
"Boston was a gift." He leaned forward and kissed me. I was a gift. I was a gift who would miss being kissed.
"How long will you be in LA?"
"Two weeks and then back to New York."
"Do you like LA?"
"I don't hate it," he said. His thumb was running a path across the back of my hand and up my forearm to my elbow and then returning. "It beats a New York winter. Although a New York Christmas is pretty special."
"I bet." That thumb was very distracting.
"Do you like LA?" he asked.
"I've only been once and I did the usual tourist stuff. It was fun." I had been twenty and I went there to stay with a college friend whose father worked in Hollywood. Fun was an understatement. Wild would have been a better description. I'd even made out with a B-list Hollywood actor, but I didn't feel now was the time to share that with Luke.
"Maybe you can visit me when I'm out there."
"Maybe."
"Is that a definite maybe?"
Mmm. I didn't want to answer that so I took his face in my hands and kissed him. I could feel his sharp whiskers beneath my hands and the softness of his mouth, and it was very sexy. I straddled him and we fell back on the bed together. I didn't know how to make the rest of our relationship work, but this part required no improvement.
I woke to hear Luke on the phone. I glanced at the clock—six in the morning. He was in the bathroom. He had a towel wrapped around him. His hair was all mussed up and, as always, my heart did a little dance at the sight of him.
All I could hear were words like shit and really. It did not sound like a good news phone call. I hoped it wasn't his family.
When I came into the room he looked ashen. "Are you okay?"
"Sorry to wake you."
"That's fine. What's up?"
"It's Chip. He had a heart attack. He died last night."
"Oh my goodness, I'm so sorry. I know you guys were close."
He looked down at me. It was clear he had things he wanted to say but didn't know how. "I have to go."
"Of course, I understand."
"No, you don't. I'm now the Company President."
"I thought you were the Marketing Manager."
"I was the VP in charge of many things. Now I'm the guy in charge of everything."
I didn't know exactly what that meant, but I knew the business owned several global fast food and restaurant brands. It was huge. "That is, not great under the circumstances, but you know also an amazing opportunity for you."
I had a lot of questions. Luke started to gather his clothes together.
I got up and started helping him pack. I was in the world's shortest pink silk negligee. He was just wearing a towel. His eyes caught mine.
"You're so beautiful."
"Thanks."
"I'm really sorry I have to go."
"Don't be silly. Where will you go, New York?"
"Texas, that's where the Head Office is. And the funeral will be there."
"Can I do anything?"
He looked so sad. He shook his head. Then he pulled his clothes on and sat down on the edge of the bed and got ready to leave again.
Chapter 21
I decided to stay behind in the hotel room after Luke left. I didn't walk him out to his cab because I didn't want to make a scene. Of course, under the circumstances, I couldn't very well tell him, "Good-bye, we're through." Maybe it wouldn't even be necessary. It seemed to me like he was going to have so much on his hands that he'd barely miss me.
Still he texted me from the airport. I miss you already.
Well, we'd see.
I ordered a stack of pancakes, smothered them with an insane amount of syrup, and binge watched reality television until it was time to check out.
I didn't want to leave because the room smelled like Luke. Was it wrong that I wanted to steal the pillowcase he'd slept on? Probably. Did I do it anyway? I'm ashamed to say I did, but only one.
My pillowcase went home with me via the store. We got chocolate, wine, ice cream, and chips. It was a pity Monday was my day off because I really could have used the distraction of work. Any distraction at all. I considered calling Lucy or Piper but I didn't know how to say what I wanted to say. I didn't even know what I wanted to say.
All I knew was Luke was gone again, and I was heartbroken. If I had thought that this could work before, I knew now there was no way. The job Luke was taking on was massive. His work took place in Texas and New York, not Boston. I couldn't leave my business and my family on a whim to follow a man who was in love with is late fiancée. If he'd been distant before, how would he be now?
Nope, there weren't enough chips and chocolates in the world to cure this.
At noon, as I sat at home on my pink sofa staring into space pondering how many cats I should get to keep me company for the rest of my life, Piper called.
"I just got an email about Chip and Luke and ohmygod!"
"Exactly!"
"He's the big boss, that's so exciting for him, I mean not under the circumstances, but for a guy his age, I mean that's amazing."
"I know. I think he's pretty shaken though. He and Chip were tight."
"You think, didn't you go with him?"
"No. I'm at home." He hadn't asked me. He didn't want me to come. "He got the call and had to go immediately."
"Of course." I could hear her thinking. "How are you?"
"I don't know yet. It kind of feels like he's at a meeting and he'll be back later."
"He will be back later," she said.
"No, Piper, he won't." And that's when the tears started. I couldn't speak, so I just sobbed into the handset.
"I'm on my way."
The phone went dead. I was lucky to have such good friends.
#
By Wednesday, the extent of what Luke had taken on was clear. It was in all the business pages and blogs; he was being interviewed all over the media and Internet. He was very clearly on deck to ensure the company stayed stable. His media statement said Chip had already been in transition to retire. I didn't have that impression over dinner but that's how one spun these things.
I couldn't help but read the obituaries. There were photos of Chip with Marigold and her mother who had died years ago. There were photos of Luke and Chip. Luke and Marigold. She'd been a pretty blonde woman with a wide smile. She was the sort of girl who made the cheer squad and
joined a sorority. She and Luke had made a handsome couple. Her death was described as an accidental overdose in the media. I didn't have to dig far to hear that their wedding had only been weeks away when she passed. It seemed that despite her death Luke had remained the closest thing Chip had to family. It was a sad story, so much money and so much sorrow.
I sent Luke random texts.
Thinking of you.
That blue tie is a good choice.
Hang in there.
Nothing that asked anything of him. No I miss yous. No requests to join him or for him to return. This time I needed to let him go. I'd planned to do that anyway, right?
I tried to keep busy with work. I was way behind on my paperwork. I was head down at my desk at seven that night when Aaron came in.
He was carrying a takeout bag from O'Shaunnessy's and a six-pack of light beer.
"I thought I'd find you here," he said.
"I'm way behind." I gestured to the mountains of paper on my desk. "How does anyone ever end up with a paperless office?"
"Beats the heck out of me," he said sweetly. "I have dinner."
"I'm not really hungry, but thanks."
"You need to eat, and you're welcome." He opened the bag and the smell of French fries hit me. Maybe I could stomach one or two. I reached in and took a salty fry.
He cracked a couple of beers.
"Are we sublimating our desire with work?" he asked.
"Are we pretending to shrink our cousin?" I retorted. I couldn't help but smile. "And look at you with the big words, sublimating, huh?"
"I am a lawyer you know." He laughed. "I know quite a few big words. How are you?"
"I'm okay. It's back to normal."
"Really? You expect me to buy that?" He laughed, shaking his head.
"I would love it if you would."
"Not likely. It's not back to normal. You miss Luke."
"I do, but I lived without the man for years and I can do it again."
"It's not really as simple as that, though, is it?" he suggested, grabbing a handful of fries for himself.
"It has to be. I'm here, Luke is there. He's running a huge company, his dead fiancée's father's company . . ."
"I knew her, you know."
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