As I walked over to my car, I wondered why I couldn’t be more like my siblings. Sure, they’d followed the career paths my parents had expected, but Lily and Hunter were so outspoken, so brave. Lily was a fierce divorce attorney—and certainly one of the most respected in LA. And Hunter had no qualms about speaking his mind. Why couldn’t I be like them? I had the same genes, so it must be in there somewhere.
All I had to do was find it.
Chapter 3
Xander
* * *
“Xander.” Mandy rushed into the staff break room, out of breath. She was one of the admins at LA CAD, and she’d been incredibly warm and welcoming.
“Hey.” I frowned. “What’s wrong?”
“Professor Tate,” she panted. “He had a stroke. I hate to ask on such short notice, but is there any way you can sub in for his class this afternoon?”
I tried to hold in a groan. My head was throbbing, and the last thing I wanted to do was teach another class. I’d stayed up late drinking way too much, trying to send myself on some misguided journey of creative liberation. Instead, I’d ended up with a hangover and a few drawings I’d quickly wadded up and tossed in the bin this morning. At least I’d drawn something, but it was complete and utter shit. I consoled myself with the thought that I’d been drunk at the time, so what had I expected?
“Which class is it?” I asked, hoping it wasn’t something I had little experience in—like sculpture.
“It’s—” She glanced down at her tablet, pushing her red glasses up the bridge of her nose. “Advanced life drawing. There’s a model scheduled for today, so you won’t need to deliver a lecture, just make the rounds and provide commentary.”
Her breathing had returned to normal, though her pale skin remained flushed. I should’ve said no; I had intended to do research for my exhibition pieces after all. But I knew she needed my help, and if a good excuse to procrastinate presented itself, who was I to turn it down?
“Sure. No problem.”
Theo was going to kill me.
“Thank you so much, Xander.” She glanced at her watch. “It was supposed to start five minutes ago, so you better get going. It’s just down the hall—Room 237.”
She handed me a piece of paper, and I rushed down the hallway, my large strides eating up the floor. I swung the door open, and all eyes turned to me as I marched into the room.
“Good afternoon, class,” I said, ignoring their curious gazes. “I’m Xander Kline, and I’ll be subbing in for Professor Tate.”
My eyes darted to a woman standing on the dais, clad only in a floral-patterned silk robe. I stared at her bare feet, following the long lines of her toned, firm legs. The hem of her robe rested mid-thigh, the smooth material draping over her curves. I knew it was completely unprofessional, but I couldn’t wait to see what was under that robe. I wanted to know if the rest of her was just as stunning as the parts I could see. For the first time in weeks, I felt a tingling, an excitement stirring in my soul.
“Did everyone sign in?” My voice sounded as if it came from somewhere else, someone else.
The students nodded, and they seemed to be alert and prepared. Even with experienced students, like the upperclassmen in this advanced life drawing class, it was always important to restate the ground rules for working with a nude model.
“We’ll start with standing poses, then progress to sitting and, eventually, reclining. There will be a break every twenty minutes. Please put away all cell phones, and do not leave the room until the break is announced. If you are late coming back, you will be locked out until the next one. Only I will address the model.”
The idea that I was the only one who could speak to her shouldn’t have gotten me as excited as it did. But every time my eyes scanned the woman on the dais, I felt that same zing of excitement again. That same spark I’d often felt in the past when creating something I just knew was amazing. It was a rare feeling, but one I knew better than to ignore.
“Any questions?” I asked, even though this was all pretty standard.
A student raised her hand, and I pointed to her. “Should we be focusing on any specific part of the model?”
Mandy hadn’t mentioned anything about the syllabus, and I didn’t want to waste a lot of class answering questions. I wanted the students to be able to spend as much time as possible working with the model. I could hear a number of them shifting on their feet, antsy to get started. I understood their impatience, and it was frustrating to know that I wouldn’t get to join them. My job was merely to observe.
I shook my head. “I don’t care whether you focus on her feet or her profile, I just want you to convey a sense that the represented form is alive.”
When there were no more questions, I glanced down at the sheet of paper Mandy had handed me. “Before we get started, I’d like to introduce our model, Kate.”
The woman’s eyes snapped to mine, wide and innocent. She lifted her chin, revealing the graceful line of her neck. “Yes?”
She was stunning, and I itched to draw her, to see more of her. For the first time in weeks—perhaps even months—I felt…inspired. I cleared my throat. “When you’re ready, please disrobe and choose your first pose.”
She didn’t move, didn’t blink. And after a few moments passed, the other students began to whisper. I inched closer, lured to her like a priceless work of art. A living, breathing masterpiece. Despite the fact that she was standing on the dais, she still had to lean her head back to look at me.
I couldn’t decide whether she was going to barf or bolt, but she certainly looked pale. “Are you okay?”
She nodded, and a few strands of hair fell into her face. I had to stop myself from reaching out to tuck them behind her ear. I didn’t know what it was about this woman, but I felt drawn to her.
“I’m… Yeah, I’m good,” she said, though I wasn’t entirely convinced.
This close, I noticed that her eyes were gray. A beautiful shade of gray like gathering storm clouds—both alluring and potentially destructive. I was so focused on her eyes, on the curvature of her lips, that I didn’t notice the fact that she’d loosened the tie on her robe. I held her gaze as the material slid from her shoulders, puddling at her feet. Her chest rose and fell rapidly, and her skin flushed with color, which only made her more appealing.
I didn’t just want to draw her; I wanted to consume her.
“Perfect. Absolutely perfect.” I heard myself say as if from afar.
There was something light about her, almost ethereal. I wasn’t sure whether it was her long golden hair that flowed around her like a halo or perhaps those captivating eyes. Or maybe it was her perfect proportions. I didn’t know the answer, but I knew it was the type of beauty sculptors immortalized in stone and poets wrote sonnets about. She possessed a rare quality that made me want to put pencil to paper just to try to capture it.
Someone called my name from across the classroom, and I found it difficult to tear my eyes away from Kate’s. This wasn’t just about the fact that she was beautiful and naked. In my profession, I was used to nudity. I’d been around countless nude models—male, female, sometimes together. But there was something different about Kate, something I couldn’t quite put my finger on.
“I’ll be right there,” I said, finally forcing myself to move.
It didn’t matter where I was in the room, I felt myself drawn to her. I was tempted to take a picture of her with my phone just so I could try to sketch her later, but I knew it would never compare. Besides, that would be wholly disrespectful, unprofessional, and could get me fired.
“Something about this seems off,” the student next to me said, snapping my attention to her. “What do you think it is?” She blinked up at me, batting her lashes.
I ignored her advances and focused instead on the canvas before me. The shape of the hips was good, but… “Here,” I said, pointing to the juncture of Kate’s thighs on the canvas. I swallowed hard, attempting to sound detached. “The shadows on
the pelvis are off.” I indicated several that weren’t quite right.
The girl gave me a coy smile. “Thank you.”
I spoke with a few other students, giving pointers as I made my way around the room. Even so, my attention remained on Kate. On her round, full breasts, her rose-colored areolas, the gentle curve of her waist. It didn’t matter what angle I viewed her from; she was perfect.
“All right,” I said, realizing it had been a little over twenty minutes. “Stretch your legs. Grab a drink of water and be back in five.”
I knelt to the ground before Kate, gathering her silk robe in my hands, wondering if her skin was just as smooth. I lingered for a moment longer than necessary, relishing the opportunity to study her up close. The small thatch of hair that was slightly darker than the blond strands on her head. The scent of her arousal, thick in the air. My dick twitched.
When I handed her the robe, our fingers brushed, and it sent a bolt of lightning racing through my hand and up my arm. What the…?
I’d never had quite that reaction to someone. I wasn’t sure what to make of it. And if I was right, Kate didn’t either since her expression mirrored my own.
I might not know what it meant, but there was one thing I knew for certain—I had to draw her.
Chapter 4
Kate
* * *
“Kate?” a deep voice rumbled from behind me as I stood in line for coffee.
Music played in the background, and the milk frother hissed under the exertion of order after order. It was a busy place, a popular place, especially with LA CAD students.
I closed my eyes and swallowed, knowing that voice. Xander.
It had been a few days since the life drawing class I’d moaned for—I meant, modeled for. A few days since I’d run out of there like my ass was on fire. I took a deep breath and then turned to face him.
“Professor Kline,” I said, opting to address him by his professional title. I needed that reminder. I needed to put that space between us, especially since we were in a coffee shop across the street from campus.
“Can I buy you a coffee?” he asked.
He was just as handsome as I’d remembered and just as tall. His dark curls were still wet from a shower, and a gray T-shirt clung to his chest.
“Actually—” I tucked a strand of hair behind my ear, trying to ignore the way my body lit up when his eyes lingered on my lips. “I’m meeting someone.”
It was true, though I knew my best friend and roommate Brie wouldn’t be here for another ten minutes—at least.
“Can you come by my office later?” he asked. “I have a proposition I’d like to discuss.”
I crossed my arms over my chest, narrowing my eyes at him. “What kind of proposition?” I teased. Though, I couldn’t deny it; I was curious. What could Xander Kline possibly want from me?
He glanced around, then said, “I want you to pose for me.”
I blinked up at him owlishly as if I’d just imagined what he’d said. “You mean…model?” I tried to swallow, but the word got lodged in my throat. “For another class?”
“No.” He shook his head, his dark curls glinting in the light, tempting me to touch them. I wondered if they were as soft as they looked. “For me.”
Now I really didn’t know what to say.
“I have an exhibit coming up, and I’ve been searching for the right…inspiration. The right model.”
“And you think that’s me?” I laughed, thinking this must be some sort of prank. “It was a one-time thing. I volunteered on a whim. I didn’t even know what I was doing.” My words were getting away from me. I needed to stop before I embarrassed myself.
“You did fine, and I’ll show you exactly what I need.”
“You seem to have an answer for everything,” I mused.
He leaned in close, close enough his breath brushed against my ear. I got a hit of his scent—leather and charcoal. “I’m very good at getting what I want.”
“I bet you are,” I muttered, trying to hold it together. I was positive women’s panties melted at the sight of him. Mine certainly felt as if they were disintegrating.
He backed away, and I wondered if I’d imagined the seductive lilt to his voice. “I’ll pay you.”
I shook my head. I wasn’t going to take his money. I might be scrimping to pay for my art school tuition, but that was my decision.
And as much as I’d enjoyed myself in class the other day, I wasn’t sure it was a good idea. My parents were already going to flip out about my revised career path. Adding nude model to my resume wasn’t going to help. And Hunter… Oh god, I could only imagine his reaction.
The line moved, and we shuffled forward. “I’ll write you a great recommendation, give you whatever you want. Please.” He peered into my eyes, and I sensed he was desperate. What I didn’t know was—why?
“Why me?” I blurted.
“Honestly?” he huffed. “I don’t know. A feeling?” He lifted a shoulder, like he wasn’t quite sure he bought it either.
I laughed. “A feeling, huh? I bet you say that to all the girls.”
“Just the ones I want to see naked.” He winked.
My shoulders shook with silent laughter, and I inched closer to the counter. “I’m flattered, truly. But you should find someone else. Someone who’s not a student. Someone with more…experience.”
“I don’t want someone else.” He peered down at me, his blue eyes swirling with some unnamed emotion. His gaze was so intense, I almost had to look away. It reminded me of when I’d stood before him naked, and it felt like he could see through me. “I want you.”
His words and the rough way in which he spoke them sucked the air from my lungs. Everything and everyone around us faded into the background, the colors and sounds coming at me as if through a tunnel. It was just him and me. Alexander freaking Kline and me.
“Next,” the girl at the counter called, and everything came rushing back. “Next,” she said again, more impatiently this time.
“I, um—” I spun to face her. “Hi. Can I get a tall chai latte with almond milk?”
“Name?” Her tone was curt as she held a marker poised over the cup.
“Kate.”
She scribbled my name on the cup and started ringing up the order when Xander stepped forward. “And a tall cappuccino, please.”
She froze for a moment, blinking slowly at Xander. I understood her reaction—the man was hot. With his muscular, tattooed body, he looked like a cross between bad boy and brooding artist. Or at least, that’s what his motorcycle boots and gorgeous tattoos said to me.
He handed over his credit card before I could stop him.
“What are you doing?” I huffed.
“Buying you coffee, well, technically tea, I guess.”
“You can’t do that.” I crossed my arms over my chest.
“Why not?” He tilted his head to the side, genuinely perplexed.
“Well, because—” I glanced around before lowering my voice. “You’re a professor, and I’m a student.”
He shot me a wicked grin as he dropped a few bills in the tip jar. “You’re not my student.”
“Even so, don’t you think the school would take issue with, well—” I gestured wildly, not entirely sure what to say before settling on “—this?”
“Relax.” He grinned as we moved aside so the person behind us could order. “This is just coffee.”
“Okay, so maybe the coffee isn’t a huge deal. But a student modeling for a professor? That’s sure to raise some eyebrows, if not break some rules.” I was careful to keep my voice low.
“I hadn’t really considered it.” His tone was so blasé.
I shook my head with a laugh.
“What?” He lifted a shoulder. “It’s a professional arrangement.”
“It’s just that most so-called ‘professional arrangements’ don’t require nudity as part of the deal.”
“Most but not all. What will it take to convince you?�
�� he asked. “Because I need your help, and I promise to be nothing but professional.”
I found that oddly disappointing, though I was intrigued.
“You said this would be for an exhibit?” Was I actually considering this? Had I lost my mind?
He nodded as people brushed past us to pick up their drinks. “I need twenty pieces.”
“How long do you have?” I stepped forward when the barista called my name, grabbing my latte from the counter. “Thanks for this,” I said, lifting the cup, “by the way.”
“Six weeks.”
“And how many are outstanding?” I sipped my chai latte, the spicy beverage filling me with warmth.
He rubbed the back of his neck. “Ten.”
“Let me get this straight.” I turned to him, a hand on my hip. “You need ten pieces, finished pieces, in six weeks?”
“Mm-hmm.” He thanked the barista for his coffee, adding some sugar before replacing the lid.
My mind spun, and I felt dizzy on his behalf. That was nowhere near enough time to complete so many paintings. “Was this a last-minute thing?”
“No.” He twisted the sleeve on his to-go cup. “I’ve been…stuck.”
“No shit,” I blurted before clapping a hand over my mouth. “I’m sorry,” I said, though it came out garbled.
“No.” He laughed. “It’s true. But I think you could help me get unstuck. Just think about it, ’kay? But don’t take too long because…”
“The clock is ticking.”
“Yep.” He gave me a rueful grin as he removed his wallet from his back pocket. “Here’s my card. I really hope you’ll consider it.”
He turned and strode toward the exit, denying me the opportunity to shut him down once and for all. Nearly every woman in the coffee shop had stopped to stare, and a few men too. When he reached the door, I spotted Brie standing off to the side, watching us with wide eyes.
I slid his card into my back pocket and gave her a little wave as she walked over to me. “Hey.”
She glanced back at the door Xander had disappeared through and then back to me. “Was that—” Her brows furrowed. “Were you just talking to Alexander Kline?”
Forbidden Desires Page 7
