* * *
My tongue meets her fingers and we work in tandem playing with her clit. She calls my name out repeatedly as I tongue fuck her, and I inhale her like a starving man. She’s as hot and desperate for it as ever, and I wonder how she could have survived three months without being fucked hard and often. Just as she’s about to come, I pull my tongue away and grab her finger with my mouth to keep it away from her clit.
* * *
Rolling her hips, she tries to get me to go back to work. I move her legs off my shoulder and set her down on the bed before climbing over her. Eye to eye, she whimpers as she watches me slide my right hand down to her drenched cunt. I play with her lazily, nowhere near hard enough to get her off.
* * *
Like I said, I know her body, and I know what to do to keep her orgasm on the runway, desperately searching for a landing. I’m angry again. Angry that I’ve been denied the pleasure of having this body for the last three months, angry that I should be fucking her as my wife right now. I’m angry that I wonder if there have been others where only I’d ever gone before she left.
* * *
“Please, Ryder… oh, please… take me, baby. Fuck me!”
* * *
Looking into her eyes, I shake my head as I slide two fingers inside of her insanely tight sex and slowly begin thrusting them in and out. “You left because you didn’t want me, didn’t want this anymore. Tell me who else you let touch my pussy, Vi. Did anyone make you come like I do? Did any of them make you come like I make you come, so hard and so much that you soak the sheets? Tell me, Violet. Tell me whom you gave my pussy to. Tell me if you came screaming. Tell me the truth.”
* * *
Shaking her head emphatically, she whimpers as her hands come up to grab my face. Forcing me to look at her she says, “I have never, not for one second, stopped wanting you. I could never give myself to anyone else, because I gave all of myself to you, and that was forever. I’ve only ever been yours. I love you, Ryder Jennings. I’m only ever going to love you.”
* * *
Three months ago, I would have said that I knew when Violet was lying and that I could tell that she was being straight with me right now. Honestly, I don’t think she’s lyin’ right now. Her eyes say that she’s telling the truth. However, the thing is—I don’t know if I can believe her anymore.
* * *
She seems to sense that she’s losing me, almost as if she knows that I’m seconds away from leaving the room, because she grabs my cock and begins to stroke it. “Fuck me, Ryder. Take what belongs to you.”
* * *
Spreading her legs wide with my torso, I line up with her pussy. Looking down at her I growl, “If you put me in, I’m not going to be tender. I’m going to fuck you—and I don’t mean gently.”
* * *
She full body shudders beneath me as she nods. “God, yes.”
* * *
Shaking my head, I give it to her straight. “Listen to what I’m sayin’ and know what you’re sayin’ yes to. This is your last chance, Vi. I’m going to fuck you hard enough that you won’t be able to sit down without feeling me in you tomorrow. If you’ve been out of commission for three months, taking my thick cock is going to be a challenge. I don’t have slow and gentle in me right now. I’m going to stuff you full of cock and fuck you until neither of us can fucking move anymore, and then I’m going to come deep inside you. Can you take it?”
* * *
Looking into my eyes she says, “I want your cock. I want you. Take me.”
* * *
I’ve given her the chance to go and she isn’t taking it, so I take her at her word that she’s ready for what I’m about to do. She’s been with me for long enough to know that I’m not a minute-man. Hell, I’m not a twenty-minute man. When I want it hard, I can go for quite a while. Tonight, I want it harder than I ever have.
* * *
Nodding at her, I growl as she lines me up and rubs the tip of my cock against her slippery opening. The heat of her arousal hits the tip of me like a nuclear blast, and I lose my ability to be patient. Grabbing her hips, I shift back a bit, lift her up, and then slam into her with one hard thrust. She lets out a scream that would wake the neighbors, if I had any, as I let out a yell at the same time. For half a second I worry that I’ve gone too hard, but then I feel her hands gripping my ass and I start pounding into her with a speed and ferocity that surprises even me.
* * *
I use the spring of the mattress to my advantage, maneuvering her body so that with every thrust, she automatically bounces up and down my dick. I smirk when she comes within two minutes, screaming like a fucking banshee as her body writhes against mine and filth pours out of her mouth that would make the best buckle-bunny proud.
* * *
“So goddamn deep, fuck!” she shouts as I thrust. The wet sound of our frantic joining combining with the squeak of the mattress, her filthy talk, uninhibited noises, plus the slamming of the headboard against the wall, is like music to my ears.
* * *
I fuck her like I hate her, but I don’t. Far from it. I fucking love her as much as ever, and I hate myself for that. Changing the position up, I grab her ankles and push them up toward her head as I fuck harder and go deeper.
* * *
She wails beneath me, tears pouring out of her eyes as she seizes up around me and comes calling out my name, her come drenching my cock. Baby gets so fucking wet, and I love that it makes it even hotter and more slippery in her cunt. I fuck hard, pulling back only when I feel like I want to come. Every time that she comes beneath me I’m tempted to let go, but I promised her rough and I want her to fucking remember who’s dick makes her come like a fucking madwoman. This is a fuck of a reminder, and I’m pounding it into her with a purposeful ferocity that I’ve never had before.
* * *
After another of her mammoth orgasms, I flip her over onto her knees and slam back inside. She cries out as she shudders beneath me, coming again quickly just from the position. She loves to be ridden hard, and I hold her hips firmly as I fuck her like an animal.
* * *
Leaning over I growl into her ear, “Who’s fucking pussy is this, Vi?”
* * *
There seems to be no hesitation on her part as she turns to meet my eyes. “Yours, Ryder. My pussy is yours. I’m yours. Everything is yours. It’s all yours.”
* * *
It’s the honesty in her eyes that does me in. Pulling out, I flip her over again and cover her body with mine as I thrust back inside of her. Wrapping her arms and legs around me, she holds on as I fuck into her, slower but no less hard.
* * *
With my forehead against hers I groan out, “Feed me, Vi. Give me what’s mine.”
* * *
I feel her hand between us, her fingers brushing against me as she collects what I want. Pulling her hand back out from between us, she slides two fingers into my mouth and lets me suck the taste of us from them. When I finish, she slides the next two fingers in before pulling them out and replacing them with her tongue. We kiss for real this time, passionate and deep, our bodies moving against each other in time with our tongues. The taste in my mouth is us, our blend, something I can only ever have with her, and I revel in it. We’ve had a joke forever about the house blend being our ambrosia, and the intensity of being inside of her and tasting us is bringing me to my knees.
* * *
Pulling back from her mouth, I bite her bottom lip gently before pulling it out and sucking on it. I let go with a growl and then stare down at her. “I’m about to come, Vi, gonna come fuckin’ hard. Come with me.”
* * *
Sliding her hand back between us, I feel her rubbing her clit as I slide in and out of her. I watch her eyes and listen to her sounds, and when her pussy starts seizing up and fluttering against me, I fuck her hard and fast the way that she likes. Opening her mouth wide, she rakes her nails down my back as she begins to come and I let my
self go and start filling her full of my release. The heat of my come inside of her has always made her come extra hard, and this is no different. She gasps for air and cries out my name again and again as she comes, and my dick spurts like a fucking volcano that is no longer dormant.
* * *
When we’re both done, I collapse on top of her like an overwhelmed marathon runner. She runs her hands up and down my back and across my ass just like she has always done after sex, and I am so content that I let it go on—even as a voice in my head is tryin’ to remind me that I shouldn’t be letting my guard down. I’m fucking beat from coming so hard, so I roll us over so that she’s on top, wrap my arms around her and promptly start to drift off.
Chapter 5
I wake up just before dawn with Violet wrapped in my arms and her head resting on my shoulder. It feels so damn right to have her back in my arms, but I’m annoyed with myself for falling asleep and staying. She’s been home for less than a day and already I can’t keep my damn hands off her.
* * *
Shifting her head against my chest, she lets out what sounds like a sad sigh. “I can feel you getting tense, Ry. We need to talk.”
* * *
My defenses immediately go up. I know that we need to talk—I’m not an idiot—but I just don’t know if I can take hearing her tell me why she left. It’s so obvious that I’m just not what she really wants or needs. Call me a coward, but hearing this woman tell me that she vanished into thin air because she realized she wasn’t in love with me anymore isn’t high on my to-do list. If it wouldn’t make me look like a total pussy, I’d tell her I’m not interested in an explanation. Of course, I’d be lyin’. No, I’ve got to ball up, sit here, and take it like a man.
* * *
She seems to understand that my silence is an agreement, and she starts to speak.
* * *
“The best way for me to start is at the beginning. You know that my dad’s mental problems were a huge issue in my house growing up. It’s why Dustin, Daisy, and I spent so much time with granddaddy and ma-ma. I loved my daddy, but I was scared to death of him at the same time. For a while, he’d be fine, and then suddenly all rational thought was gone and he was terrifying. He’d go from loving us to tearing through our closets looking for ‘devices’ he said we used to spy on him. He screamed at people on the street about conspiracy theories, refused to eat for days at a time because he was convinced people were trying to kill him. Having granddaddy and ma-ma take us in was a godsend. It broke their hearts that their son was so ill, ripped them up that there was nothing that they could do to help him—so they threw themselves into making sure that we were okay. Without them… I don’t know how I would have survived.”
* * *
Running her hand over my stomach softly, she is silent for a few moments. I’m confused about why she’s telling me all of this. First, I already know everything and second, Vi hates to talk about her dad.
* * *
“You’re probably wondering why I’m talking about my father, considering the fact that I normally try to avoid it. Here’s what I now know. I successfully pushed down and hid my feelings about him for years—but that didn’t make the feelings go away. They were still there, lurking. When someone in your family is crazy, it’s natural to be scared about what that means for you. Those thoughts always upset me, so I tried not to think of it too often.
* * *
When Dustin started showing signs of depression, it was like a bullet to the heart. He went through so much more hell with Daddy than Daisy and I did, and that tipped the scales for him. He saw and had to deal with things that no child should ever have to. I prayed every single day that Dustin wouldn’t be affected in the same way that my father was, but none of those prayers were answered. He always felt things differently than anyone else- always was prone to getting upset. I knew he was having the hardest time, and I just prayed that he would listen to his doctors and take the medications that they were giving him. You know how they say wish in one hand, shit in the other, and see which one fills up faster? That’s how I feel about Dustin. Wishing didn’t change a damn thing. When he took his own life… seeing him like that, realizing what he had done—I lost it.”
* * *
Running my hand over her shoulder, I try to comfort her by telling her the truth. “I knew that it hit you hard, and I understood that. No one should ever have to lose someone they love like that.”
The hitch in her breathing alerts me to the fact that she’s getting worked up, and my heart squeezes painfully as I feel her tears falling onto my chest. This? Right here? This is my hell. Even now, I’d lie down in front of a moving train to keep this woman from crying.
* * *
“Baby, you’ve got to stop cryin’. You know this isn’t good for you.”
* * *
I barely contain my groan of annoyance to myself. I should probably put my favorite pair of cowboy boots up my own ass at this point. I am such a jackass. Less than twenty-four hours with her back in my life and I’ve been inside of her and am now back to callin’ her baby.
* * *
Nodding against my chest, she’s silent for a long moment. Lifting her head, she looks me in the eye. “After everything that happened with Dustin, it was like the floodgates opened for me. I started having panic attacks and I’d cry for no reason at all. I had nightmares, I relived the moment I saw Dustin, I thought about seeing the trail of blood in the bathroom at my old house when Daddy tried to kill himself the first time and Momma sent us back here to live with granddaddy and ma-ma. It was like I couldn’t turn my brain off to those bad thoughts.
* * *
Then Daisy left, my mother went nuts blaming my father’s genes, and I felt so lost. I carry my daddy’s genes too. I was scared that what she was saying was true—that crazy runs in my family. I was terrified, Ry, all the damn time. The only time that I felt normal at all was when I was with you. I was the worst girlfriend last year. I felt like I was holding you hostage, forcing you to come to New York City almost every weekend…”
* * *
I stop her right there. Putting my fingers under her chin, I stare down at her. “Vi, that’s not true at all. I never thought of it as an obligation and I sure as hell didn’t feel like you were holdin’ me hostage. I wanted to be there with you, needed to be with you just as badly as you needed me there. I know for damn sure that there is no way that I ever gave you the impression that I was annoyed—I wasn’t.”
* * *
Nodding her head, she closes her eyes for a moment and takes a few quiet breaths. “I know that, but I was keeping things from you, Ry. Things that I was ashamed of.”
* * *
I’m pretty sure that my heart has just stopped beating. She promised me last night that no one else had been inside of her—was she lying? Fuck me, had she been cheating the whole time?
* * *
Sitting up, she straddles me and grabs either side of my face with her hands so that I’m forced to look at her. “No, Ryder! Not like that. I have never, not once, wanted someone other than you. You’re my other half, my one true love. What I have with you is magic, the kind of thing that people read about but don’t believe is real. I didn’t leave because I fell out of love—that’s never going to happen. I will love you every single day that I’m on this earth, and even when my time here is done, I plan to spend my eternity with you in heaven. I was, I am, and I always will be yours, Ry. No hesitation, no desire for anything or anyone else. How could I want anything else when I have you?”
* * *
Liftin’ her up and off me, I quickly scramble from the bed. Naked and angry, I stand before her and snap, “Then why the fuck did you leave, Violet? You saddled up and got out of here in the middle of the fucking night. Do you know what that fucking felt like? Do you care? You walked out of here like a thief in the night without a word of warning! You might have left the ring and that goddamn Dear John letter, but you took my fucking heart with
you. How could you do that to me, to us?”
* * *
Her tears are falling so fast now, but she stands her ground and doesn’t crumble. Looking me straight in the eye, she gives me a look that seems like a plea for understanding. “I thought I was sick, Ry. I felt like I was going crazy.”
* * *
I can’t immediately think of a response to that, so I simply gape at her for a few seconds. Violet is the least crazy person that I’ve ever known. Finally, I manage to string together some words. “Vi, you’re not fuckin’ crazy—far from it. Why would you think that and why would that make you leave?”
* * *
She motions for me to come to her and then pats the bed for me to sit down. When I comply, she sits next to me and holds onto my arm. “When I got home from school, I immediately felt better just being back with you. I loved being out on the ranch and soaking up the sunshine, but I was also constantly waiting for another flair up of my anxiety. It was so bad there those last few months… It was terrible, Ry. When you weren’t there, I woke up every single night in a cold sweat feeling like I couldn’t get enough air. It got so bad that I couldn’t sleep unless you were there. I felt like I was losing it and I was terrified that what was happening to me was what happened to my father and Dustin.”
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