by Beam, Brian
“Awww,” I groaned, disappointed. Social inhibitions gone, an urge struck me that would never have come to mind otherwise. I grabbed Kait’s hand and pulled back her sleeve. “What are these leeches for?” I shuddered overdramatically.
Kait’ ripped her hand from my grasp and tugged her sleeve back down, her amusement quickly shifting to anger. For a moment, I thought she was going to strike me. The thought made me laugh.
Kait’s expression softened, but she was obviously still upset. “That’s none of your business,” she growled.
“Oh, come on, don’t be such a . . . such a . . . lunkhead!” I gave her a toothy smile, proud of myself for being able to use Max’s typical insult for me on someone else. The ellifil kept me protected me from the pangs of sorrow and concern I normally felt when thinking of Max.
“You will never ask me about them again.” Kait’s voice held a silent threat. Of course, it didn’t matter. She could’ve given the command with a huge smile and dainty words and gotten the same results.
I simply laughed.
Kait’ sighed. “I have a blood sickness. These leeches keep it from killing me,” she explained grudgingly. “You will never speak of this to anyone, not even me.”
I started laughing again. “That’s just weird,” I choked out.
Kait’ stepped in front of me, bringing us to another halt. “That’s it. Sit down. Right now.” I dropped to the ground and smiled up at her. “Stay put.”
“Why?” I asked, still laughing.
Kait’s eyes leveled dangerously. “Because these leeches let me use my magic as well, and if I have to put up with you for much longer, I’ll be using that magic to kill you.”
I fell sideways to the ground in laughter. Kait’s glare could’ve cleaved through stone.
“I’ll be back once the ellifil’s effects have lessened.” Kait’ turned with an exasperated sigh. “If I’d known you’d never taken ellifil before . . .” she muttered as she walked away. I stayed on my side and continued to laugh until my stomach began to cramp.
After Kait’ left my sight and I was able to suppress my laughter to giggling, I wrapped my arms around my knees and started rocking back and forth. My mind wandered aimlessly as I sat dumbly in the middle of the empty road, staring out at the lifeless trees. That’s when I started to hallucinate.
At one point, I was staring at my adoptive parents’ house, its natural oak door opening as Mathual and Harriet came out to greet me with warm smiles. Then Max, a gray-and-black cat once more, was at my feet, calling me a lunkhead. That sent me into another gale of laughter.
Wiping tears of laughter from my eyes revealed Til’ standing before me. Beaming with excitement, he started off on a breathless train of thought about all he’d been doing since I’d last seen him, childlike wonderment shining through his eyes. Then, he was gone in a flash, and Sal’ was suddenly there with me, wrapping her arms around my neck and telling me she loved me. I could feel the warmth of her skin as . . . I should probably move on now.
Given the smile plastered across my face, my emotions were obviously being manipulated by the ellifil. Seeing all the people in the world that I truly cared about should’ve made me ache to be with them. The ellifil-induced visions should’ve driven the fear of possibly never seeing them again deep into my heart. I should’ve been scared to death about the danger Max and Til’ faced. My heart should’ve been breaking from the knowledge that Sal’ had been taken away from me just when I’d accepted my love for her.
Instead, I felt like laughing and dancing. Only Kait’s order kept me from rising to my feet to do so. For the moment, the thoughts of being a slave and all my friends being gone seemed to be nothing more than a well-timed joke.
After what felt like an hour—in hindsight, it was nowhere near that—my giddiness began to wear off, but the smile remained on my face and I still felt no pain. A song from my childhood sprung to my mind, playing over and over in my head. It was about the goddess of song, Olapia. Its lyrics conveyed the tale of how Olapia shed her godly wings and used the feathers to fashion the strings used to create the first harp. That harp was supposedly used to compose the first song ever written. My adoptive mother, Harriet, had sung the song to lull me to sleep each night when I was a child.
I hadn’t thought of that song in well over a decade. Since the refrain has been floating around in my head ever since, I’d like to put it to paper:
With a draw of her hand
Feathers down the frame ran
A sound new to man’s ear
With delicate strokes
The words were then wrote
Notes to quell the world’s fear
Around the fourth time I sang through the entire song while continuing to rock back and forth, my smile began to fade. I still felt energized, like I could just start sprinting nonstop until I hit the ocean. The colors of the forest, though mostly dead-brown, were still vibrant. I could still smell the sweet decay of the fallen leaves as if my head were buried in them. The ellifil was still coursing through me, but I was starting to sober up from the worst of its intoxicating effects.
That’s when I finally started to feel the pain from the thoughts and visions of my friends and family. I snapped back to the reality of my situation and realized just how grave it really was. I still didn’t feel sadness, fear, or anger, but I was at least conscious of the fact that I should feel those things. So, I simply sat there and began to ponder. While I actually had some time alone, the world around me silent, I simply thought about what I could possibly do to escape my entrapment.
Maybe I could convince Kait’ to tell me more about herself. She must’ve been through some hard times, especially if she’d really been in prison. Maybe if I showed her a little compassion, she would be comfortable putting a little trust in me. Maybe, just maybe, she could then be swayed to help me. It was a long shot, but I’d have a better shot with her than Eyebrows. Since I didn’t know if I’d ever be alone with her again, I needed to go ahead and try my plan.
Not long after I came to this conclusion, I heard footsteps crunching through the leaves to my right. Kait’ was striding back towards the road where I sat, her face still a mask of anger. I tried to stand, but my body wouldn’t cooperate. She had told me to stay put, so that’s what my body was doing. She hadn’t told me not to stand, though, so I used her earlier advice and put my mind to the task of working around the wording of her order. With my mind clear and focused from the ellifil, it wasn’t very hard.
I stood, flashing Kait’ a broad grin.
“Oh, blighted hammers and nails, you’re still manic?” she huffed with angry incredulity.
“Not at all,” I responded immediately, though I realized my grin hadn’t been deliberate. I consciously dropped the smile. “Okay, maybe a little. But I think I’m okay to move on.”
Kait’ sighed heavily. “You better be. We’ll be coming up on the reason I brought you with me soon. Follow at my side now.”
My legs started moving. “And what reason would that be?” I asked as soon as I caught up to her, trying to keep myself from breaking into another smile.
“I’d hate to ruin the surprise,” she grumbled.
“Oh, cheer up,” I spoke brazenly. “You’re the one that gave me the blighted ellifil.” Apparently, I was starting to add Gualainian curse words to my spoken vocabulary. It’s always nice to be able to curse in multiple dialects.
Kait’ turned her hooded head to me and raised an eyebrow in warning. The ellifil kept her glare from intimidating me. After a moment, Kait’s full lips rose into a half smile, but she said nothing. It was time to put my plan into action.
“So, Briscott tells me you were in prison before.” My face scrunched into a histrionic wince as my words blurted out. I’d already formulated the words I would speak to Kait’ in my head, and the brash words I spoke were not even close to what I’d intended. Ellifil intoxication doesn’t make for good tact.
Kait’s eyes narrowed to slits. “Did
he, now?”
I nodded, fighting the urge to break into laughter. Perspiration broke out on my forehead as I pressed my lips together and ground my teeth in an effort to hold it back. Kait’ didn’t appear amused by my struggle. The ellifil hadn’t worn off as much as I’d thought. Stupid ellifil.
“What else did he tell you about me?” she asked through clenched teeth.
I was proud of my ability to fight my first inclination of answering that Briscott had told me that she and Eyebrows were “not quite right in the head.” “He told me that you puzzled out how the rocks work, and that you and Jefren have changed your minds about going to Tahron, that you plan on using the rocks on wizards there.” I was able to end my answer there, proving what Kait’ had told me about the specificity of orders. I’d been commanded to answer her questions, but in this case, her question didn’t specifically ask for everything Briscott had told me. That gave me the capacity to interpret the vagueness of her question.
“Jefren was the one who wanted to avoid Tahron,” Kait bristled, anger bleeding through her words. “I changed his mind because those blighted wizards deserve to have the stones hammered into them.”
By a fortunate coincidence, my answer had hooked Kait’, provoking her to speak of herself and of potential animosity between her and Jefren. Recognizing this, I started to reel her in. “And why’s that? I happen to be fond of certain wizards.”
Kait’ spat off to the side of the road. “You really want to know about me?” Her menacing tone made me want to say no, but I had to seize the opportunity I’d been handed. Any connection I could make between us made her more likely to be of assistance in my finding a way out of my slavery.
“Sure do.” I gave her a huge grin, though I wouldn’t have sober. I could understand ellifil’s popularity. Ellifil had the euphoric effects of alcohol but enhanced the senses and mind instead of causing a general lack of coordination and judgment. Even so, I knew I could never let myself take it again. I would already suffer withdrawals from the one dosage. More could lead to a potentially lifelong—and possibly fatal—addiction.
“Wipe that blighted smile off your face.” I didn’t need the rock in my chest to make me drop my smile. Her cold tone overpowered the necessity of magic to make me obey.
“Okay, smile wiped,” I replied, wiping my hand across my face.
Kait’ let out an irate huff, but she still commenced with telling me more. “Most of my youth was spent being beaten by my father and watching him do the same to my mother and younger sister,” she began, her voice callous. I started at her words. I hadn’t expected her to start telling me her entire life story.
“I was confined to the house, usually bedridden due to my blood disease. One night, after a particularly bad beating, my father actually had some good judgment through the haze of his usual intoxication and sent for a physicker. Not only did the physicker keep me from Rizear’s blighted doorstep that night, but he introduced me to the treatment with leeches.
“My father would never spend money on something to help his family when it could be spent on booze or whores, but the physicker took pity on me. He paid me weekly visits out of his own beneficence, supplying me with fresh leeches and making sure my father hadn’t crippled or killed me with his beatings.” Kait’s voice was much colder than the morning air, and that was saying a lot, given my heightened sensitivity to the cold caused by the ellifil.
My urge to smile faded. Tears began to slide down my cheeks as Kait’ continued. The ellifil was truly doing a number on my emotions.
“With the leech therapy, I was able to escape the confines of my bed. In my fifteenth year, I discovered my . . . talent. I don’t know if the thought of me using magic threatened my father, but when he discovered my secret, the beatings became harsher. I couldn’t take it anymore and ran away.
“The physicker declined to take me in, telling me that it was not his place to hide me from my family, but he sent me off with a good supply of leeches and some money. I left Gualain without looking back. I hopped around different cities for a few years, begging and scraping to get by, living in alleys and shelters. That was my life for several years, and I’m not proud of some of the things I had to do just to survive.
“As I grew older, though, I started to feel guilty for leaving my mother and sister behind with my abusive, drunken father. I decided that if I could learn to use my talents, I could go back and save them.” Kait’ paused and pulled her cloak tighter against her lithe frame.
“I traveled to the Wizard Academy, half-starved by the time I finally arrived. The blighted bastards turned me away. I had no money to pay tuition, and they determined that I only had a singular talent with my metal magic.” She noisily spat to the side again. “They don’t give much consideration to those without broader abilities.”
I was taken aback. At the time, I had no idea that there were wizards who were unable to use certain types of magic. I did know that there were differences in magic strength among wizards and in their abilities to use complex magic, but not that some were limited to particular types of magic.
Kait’s callous tone shifted to anger, her thick accent making her hard to understand as she venomously spit out her next words. “They gave me a one-hour session on how to avoid killing myself with my magic, and then they uncaringly sent me on my way. I was destitute in a foreign kingdom. I didn’t know what to do. Then he took me in.” Her emphasis on the “he” held more hatred than I’d ever heard in a single syllable before.
While Kait’ spoke, her fingers curled and uncurled against the fabric of her cloak as she held it wrapped around her body. Between the way her words poured out and the nervous energy displayed in her hand movements, I figured that she’d probably taken some ellifil herself. If so, it was no wonder that my simple inquiry had led to her sprawling life story. Despite the urge to burst into tears and give her a big hug, undoubtedly from my own dosage of the drug, I remained silent.
“Westis Nerefin, a bastard wizard who used to teach at the Wizard Academy. He had a nice house only a couple of streets away. He offered to take me in and teach me to use my magic. Didn’t even take him a day to reveal his true intentions. I lost my innocence to him on that first day. And then I lost five years of my life.” The fury-laced pain in her voice tore more tears from my eyes.
“He kept me locked up like some sort of blighted treasure. He thought himself a damned saint to keep me fed and provide medical care for my disease. He took my body as he pleased for payment. I can’t begin to describe the pleasure I felt when I finally learned to control my magic on my own and killed him.” She growled, sounding more feral than human.
The memory of the man I’d killed flashed into my mind. Menar, a man sent by Raijom to kill me, had set his men after me. I was greatly outnumbered and accidentally killed one of the men during the fight. Even without the ellifil, I could’ve brought the memory to mind in perfect detail down to the feel of my sword piercing the man’s body. The recollection of his death still sickened me.
Of course, if Kait’s story was true, she was completely justified in her actions. Heck, I almost wanted to applaud Kait’ for killing the wizard. However, I couldn’t imagine ending a life and being able to speak so coldly about it.
Kait’ continued, emotionless once again. “Westis had more than enough money for me to travel back to Yillia in comfort, something that felt foreign after so many years of abuse. I sent a letter to my mother once I arrived, not yet ready to confront my father. I waited at the local tavern for my mother to show, but my sister appeared in her stead, her belly rounded with child. She was still just a kid, not a year past coming of age.
“She started screaming at me for leaving her. She beat me with her fists, blaming me for our mother’s death by our father’s abusive hand. She berated me for her being with child . . . our father’s child. That’s the moment my heart died—the moment that life turned gray and became meaningless.” Kait’ paused again, and I could’ve sworn I heard her sniffl
e, but her hood obscured her face, keeping me from knowing for sure.
“My father had followed her to the tavern and stormed in, ready to end my life the way he had my mother’s. Before he could even get within reach of me, I used these,” she pulled out a handful of her metal spheres, “to rip through his blighted, gods-forsaken skull.” She shoved the spheres back into her cloak. “My sister dropped to his dead body and cried, calling me a murderer. And that’s the moment my soul died.
“I was arrested on the spot. I didn’t care; there was nothing left in life for me anyway. I was awaiting trial when the undead started plaguing the land. When I learned about it, the last shred of caring in my heart flared. I had to save my sister, even if she hated me. Using the chaos of the undead’s attack, I was able to escape my imprisonment, but she was already dead when I found her—both she and her unborn child. It was all my fault; I should have stayed from the beginning.” I was positive I heard her voice catch that time.
Tears continued to trace icy rivulets down my cheeks. I had to take a gasping breath to hold back a sob. “Kait’, I—”
Kait’ spun to me, her damp eyes burning with anger, her nostrils flaring. “Not a word of this is to ever be spoken to anyone,” she hissed. She turned away, muttering something about the ellifil.
After a significant stretch of silence spent trying to take rein of my emotions—following the euphoric rush caused by ellifil, a depressive crash is typical before emotions stabilize, especially in people unaccustomed to the drug—Kait’ stopped and turned to me. Her face was an emotionless mask.
“Here we are,” she stated. “How’s your pain? Is your mind still clear?”
“Yes,” I answered truthfully. I’d completely forgotten about the pain, my only discomfort coming from my sensitivity to the cold.
My senses were still heightened, allowing me to hear soft crunching noises ahead of us, though I only saw empty forest. Looking around, I could make out subtle depressions in the leaves where someone had recently been walking. I smelled traces of smoke from a long-extinguished fire.
