by Beam, Brian
“Max? Is that really you?” I asked, my voice echoing in my ears.
He simply huffed.
“How did you get free?”
Another huff, this time followed by a twitch of his whiskers. “Just think about this for a moment, lunkhead,” he said in his raspy voice. It had been far too long since I’d heard that voice.
At his words, I looked around me. I was no longer in the tent I’d fallen asleep in. I was lying on a cold stone floor, the world completely black aside from a small circle of light surrounding us. I pushed myself up on my elbows, causing Max to jump down beside me. The blackness parted, keeping Max illuminated. My rising spirits from seeing my friend alive crashed as I realized what was happening.
“I’m dreaming, aren’t I?” I sighed.
“Such a genius,” Max replied sarcastically. “What tipped you off? The fact that you are not where you fell asleep, the unnatural darkness, or the fact that I am a cat instead of a squirrel?”
I ran a hand through my choppy hair, reminded of Sal’ as I did. “Yeah, I kind of forgot about the whole squirrel thing.”
“Lunkhead,” Max muttered, turning to bite at his haunches.
“Well, this is better than my other dreams of late,” I admitted. I was enjoying the absence of pain in my dream world.
Max whipped his head back towards me, his green eyes glowing in the unnatural light. “I would certainly hope so. This one actually means something.”
“And how can you tell me that? You’re not even real.”
Yet another huff. “Your subconscious is trying to tell you something, lunkhead.”
“Is it now?” I replied. “And just what is it trying to tell me? That I have a wise-ass cat for a best friend?”
“No, that you still owe me that salmon. It has been weeks since you promised me, you know.”
My laughter echoed through the darkness. It felt good. “I don’t think that salmon’s in the cards for you anymore, Max. Neither of us is exactly in any position to make it happen.”
Max shook his head. “I was being sarcastic. You would think you would know me well enough by now to recognize that.” Max shook his head. “No, Korin, this is all about not letting you give up hope.”
I laughed again, this time ruefully. “A little late for that, Max.”
“Korinalis Karell, quit being such an idiot. You have people who care for you. You have to live for them. Your current mindset is only going to lead to your death, and you know it.”
“Maybe so, but I don’t have much of a choice. With what these bastards want me to do, I’ll probably end up dead anyway,” I countered.
In a flash, Max was no longer a cat, but a wizened old man in a brown wizard’s robe. He had short gray hair and a long gray beard streaked with black that hung down his chest. This was how I’d seen Max in a prior dream, in his true human form. As Jonasir Spensolin. During that instant, Jonasir smacked me hard enough to flip me onto my side before turning back into a cat—into Max—again. As I rubbed my now throbbing cheek with a hand, Max casually licked at a paw.
“What was that for?” I screamed.
“For being such an Averninax-blooded lunkhead, lunkhead. I just had to turn into a human to deliver the type of smack you deserved,” he explained before going back to licking his paw.
I sat up, still rubbing my cheek. “But you’re a wizard, remember? Couldn’t you have just used magic?”
“Oh yeah,” Max replied. Suddenly I was knocked back onto my side again by an unseen blow.
“Me and my big mouth,” I muttered, sitting up again. “Can you actually give me any real advice? Something more than how gravy makes everything better?” Max stopped mid-lick and ran his tongue in a circle around his cat lips. “Seriously, Max.”
“All right, all right. Look, you have to stay alive to help your friends.” He stood up on his haunches and started counting his next points by extending claws on one paw while gesturing at them with the other. “One, you know you do not wish me to be a research subject. Two, you know that Til’ is coming after you. And Three, you know Salmaea loves you back, right?” He gave me a pointed look, holding up the three claws before me.
“I highly doubt that last part,” I replied, trying to decide if cats could extend individual claws at will in real life.
Max dropped his front legs back to the ground and let out another huff. “You are about to get smacked again. This is your subconscious telling you this. You believe she has feelings for you.”
I threw up my hands in exasperation. “And what does any of that matter? I’m a slave here. I can’t get away.”
“That is not the point,” Max replied, annoyance clear in his tone.
“Then what is?” I asked, irritated.
“You have to live. Not just for your friends, but to stop Raijom.” His voice had become completely serious.
I hung my head, pressure building in my chest, a sour burn filling my stomach. It was hard to speak through the constriction of my throat. “I’m only one person, Max. If Raijom’s starting a war, then it’ll be up to the kings of Amirand and their armies, or maybe even the Tahronian wizards, to take care of him. Not me.”
Max shook his head again. “Think about it. Why was Raijom trying so hard to kill you?”
“Because of the prophecy,” I answered.
“So . . .” he prodded, gesturing with a paw for me to continue.
I was silent for a moment. Then it hit me. “Because I’m a danger to him. Well, a danger to whatever his plans are, at least. He thinks I can stop him. The prophecy must have something to do with the threat I pose to him.” My heart, or at least my dream heart, started racing.
Max’s cat mouth curled up into an approving smile. It looked so unnatural on a cat, but I’d grown used to it over my years with him.
“Max, am I the only one who can stop him?” My voice echoed hollowly through the surrounding darkness as Max stared at me, lost in thought. I guess in all reality, it was really me doing the thinking.
“That, I do not know,” he answered finally, cutting through the fading echoes of my prior question. “But is it worth giving up hope when there is even a sliver of possibility that you are? Think about all we have been through. We have killed eldrhims. We lived through a fight with Prexwin. You found a way to get around the magic of your Activated Contract with Galius. This is just another bump in the road, another knot in the wood, another bone in your grilled salmon.”
“You’re absolutely right,” I whispered.
“I typically am,” Max smiled.
I eased back, looking down at myself for the first time. I was shirtless, but there was no glowing rock in my chest. My mind was telling me that I’d make it through this. Suddenly, without conscious thought, I rolled onto my side and curled into a ball. Strangely, a blanket was covering me.
Then someone kicked me in the ass.
“Max, I got your point already,” I mumbled in irritation.
Another kick.
“Max, I told you . . .”
****
“I don’t care who you tol’ what. Get up ’fer I kick ya again.”
My eyes snapped open, and I flipped onto my back to see Kevrin standing over me, his back hunched due to the slanted top of the canvas tent. His greasy blond hair hung down over his eyes. One of the black cuirasses kept his glowing rock hidden.
“Okay, I’m up,” I mumbled, rubbing my eyes.
“Jefren wants ya to stand watch outside his an’ Kait’s tent,” he told me in his backwoods accent, scratching at his beard.
Only hours before, I would’ve remained silent and mechanically gone about the task, but now, with my dream fresh on my mind, I took hold of something I hadn’t felt in days: hope.
I threw my blanket aside and stretched. It was the first time in days that I’d actually wanted to wake up. Even with just four hours of sleep, I felt energized. I stood, also having to keep my back hunched in the cramped tent.
The pain behind my eyes was t
orturous, my chest not exactly feeling pleasant either. Instead of letting it consume my thoughts as before, I took a deep breath of the cold night air and pushed the pain to the back of my thoughts. I still hurt like an old man on his Rizear-blooded deathbed, but accepting the pain and consciously focusing my attention away from it made me feel much better. It was like having iron hammer blows exchanged for punching fists. I know that still sounds bad, but trust me, it was a more than welcome reprieve.
As I turned to leave, I gave Kevrin a big smile. “Thanks, Kevrin.”
Kevrin eyed me suspiciously but said nothing as he tossed his cuirass aside and took my place on the thin bedroll, pulling the blanket over himself. Knowing that I’d been acting the same way just hours before made me realize how broken I’d been. Had my eyes looked so dead? Had my expression been just as haunted? Did Briscott see me the way that I’d just seen Kevrin?
It mattered little. I wasn’t going to win these men over when Briscott had failed to do so in the months he’d known them. However, I wasn’t going to become like them either. Yes, I’d killed men in cold blood, but my newfound hope brought forth another feeling: acceptance. I had to accept what I’d done, whether I was to blame or not, and move on. I couldn’t change the past. I could only focus on the future, a future where I was free again. A future where I could save my friends and attempt to do some good for the world.
Kait’ had been right about my ability to retain a certain amount of freedom with the rock in my chest. Not only did I have freedom with how I fulfilled orders, but I also carried an even more important form of freedom—I had the freedom to stay strong, to keep myself from breaking. The moment that I realized this, my soul sprang back to life and my spirit began to mend. My insides still churned at the memory of what I’d done, but I would no longer allow it break me. I had to live. I had to save my friends and find Raijom. I couldn’t yet see how doing so was possible, but at least I now held the hope that I’d eventually find a way.
But first, I wanted to find Briscott and apologize. He’d been the only one to show a whit of caring since I’d been drawn into this mess.
I exited the tent into the small wood where we’d set up camp. The night was dark, with several more hours left until morning. Above the leafless trees, the full moon was bright and the stars were radiant in the cloudless sky. The smell of wood smoke hung thickly in the air. Oslen was sitting silently by the campfire. He wore leather armor obtained from one of the brigands, the glow of his rock obscured by it.
I was wearing one of the simple, mismatched sets of leather armor myself. It sickened me to wear the armor of someone I’d killed, but I’d been commanded to by Kait’. I’m sure she simply wanted to make certain that I’d always remember what she’d made me do. As if I needed the armor of one of those brigands in order to do so. It was just another thing I couldn’t let tear me down. At least I‘d been able to scrub most of the blood out of it.
Eyebrows and Kait’ were most likely in their tent, given they wanted a watch kept on it. However, before heading there, I walked to the campfire and took a seat across from Oslen. I hadn’t been given a direct order to keep watch, so I decided to simply enjoy the freedom Kait’ had taught me about. Oslen’s eyes widened as if shocked that I was postponing my guard shift. I just smiled at him in return.
“Is Briscott around?” I asked cheerfully.
With a bemused furrow of his brow, Oslen answered, “Um . . . no, he’s on watch with Ullian.”
I was disappointed, but I knew I’d get my chance to speak with Briscott at some point during the day. So I stood, brushed off my backside, and waved to Oslen. “Good evening to you.”
After that, I went to Eyebrows’s tent and stood outside the entrance flap, brushing my cloak back and resting a hand on my sword hilt. Eyebrows had started making one of us keep watch over his tent so he and Kait’ could both sleep through the nights. Apparently having scouts was not enough to sufficiently ease his mind for sleep.
As I listened to Eyebrows’s snores behind me, I let my mind wander to thoughts of Sal’. The mental image of her face turned my mouth up into a grin. We’d been growing so close before she’d been whisked away to the Academy. Did she really love me back? In my heart, it sure felt like she did, and apparently my subconscious agreed. The warmth of that thought made my pain recede even further.
Could I really have a future with her? I’d have to stay alive to find out. And I intended to.
****
After an ostensible eternity outside Eyebrows’s tent, a scouting shift, and two shifts of driving the cart, I finally got my chance to speak with Briscott when we’d both been put on hunting duty together.
We’d been running low on supplies, and no villages or towns had been scouted ahead of us. That forced us into an early camp in another lightly wooded area just off the road. We set up in a large, circular clearing, giving us plenty of room to space out the tents and let the horses graze. Briscott and I were sent out to hunt, while two others were sent to find water. It was my first time on hunting duty. Truthfully, I’d never hunted at all before then and had barely even handled a bow in my lifetime. Eyebrows and Kait’ didn’t need to know that, however. If they’d been smarter, they would‘ve made sure I was capable of the task.
The sky was still grasping the last vestiges of daylight when we set out. Briscott wore one of the black cuirasses, and we both wore cloaks with the hoods raised as we trudged through the bare trees. Briscott had allowed me to take his longbow while he took the one looted from the brigand bowman. I could have kissed him for his generosity.
“Briscott,” I began when we were well out of sight from the camp, “I’m sorry for how I’ve been these past few days. I kind of acted like an ass there for a while.”
“Ha, that you did,” he chuckled, slapping a hand to my back. “You’re forgiven. Now if only these other blighted fools would come around.”
“We’d probably have better luck bedding Estille than that happening,” I remarked glibly.
Briscott let out a roaring laugh. Estille’s the goddess of chastity. “Truer words have yet to be spoken.” He wiped his eyes as his laughter died. “So, you’re not much of a hunter, are you?”
“And why would you say that?” I asked in mock affront.
“Because you’re too blighting loud,” he responded with a kindly smile. “We’d be more likely to attract a hornbear than sneak up on a deer with the way you’re talking.”
“Well, I’m not the one laughing like a madman,” I countered.
“Point taken,” Briscott replied. “Now that you’re not ignoring me like a blighted fool, will you tell me how your wounds are?”
“My shoulder’s healing up nicely. No signs of infection anywhere,” I replied, rotating my shoulder to prove the truth of my words.
“Good. I’ll apply some more herthil balm when we get back, just in case. Now, if you want to eat tonight, shut up.”
We made our way through the trees in relative silence as the sky darkened above. Briscott taught me some basics on following animal tracks and checking the freshness of their excrement. I never thought I’d ever learn so much about...well, dung. With no help from me, Briscott eventually shot down a good-sized doe and two small rabbits that would help keep us all fed until we made it to the next town.
As we carried the doe between us, Briscott turned to me. “If you want to save a little pride, we could say you bagged the doe.”
“Thanks, but I don’t have any of that left to save,” I laughed.
“Well, remember I offered.”
“Will do,” I returned with a grin.
We continued on in silence for a while. I started thinking about my dream and the hope it had given me. “So, what do you plan on doing when this is all over?” I asked.
Briscott seemed taken aback by the question. “You’re making a lot of assumptions there.”
“Okay, how about what would you do?”
“Whatever Jefren and Kait’ blighting told me to,�
� he replied with a sardonic chuckle. His voice became grave. “If we live, that is.”
I shook my head. “Now you’re just being a hypocrite,” I cautioned. “What would you do if you were free?”
Briscott eyed me pensively. “Honestly, I’ve never thought about it. There’s nothing for me back home, so I really don’t even know. How about you?”
“I would—” I stopped midsentence. We’d reached the outskirts of the clearing, the orange glow of a campfire in sight ahead of us. There was a lot of motion around it. Something was happening. “Come on,” I urged, though the rocks made us rush forward anyway. With the chance that Kait’ and Eyebrows could be in danger, the command to protect them kicked in.
Abandoning the doe, we sprinted to the camp, stumbling over roots and rocks in the dark. As we entered the clearing, I saw Kait’, Eyebrows, Oslen, Vhillin, and Ullian all standing with weapons drawn, a tall, shadowy figure standing before them. I dropped Briscott’s bow and drew my sword as I approached.
“Stand down,” Kait’ hissed at me. I stopped but kept my sword gripped firmly in my hand.
Smoke from the fire curled towards the figure. Its humanoid shape was seemingly composed of it. It had a ghostly presence, like some sort of apparition. The roiling smoke twisted and swirled, giving the dark apparition’s body an unsettling appearance of constant motion. Its arms were crossed over its chest, its head just a featureless sphere.
“Ah, two more.” The voice came from the apparition. It was a male voice, strong and commanding. Something about it tickled the back of my mind.
“What do you want?” Eyebrows asked hoarsely, his eyes gleaming with smoldering rage.
The smoky apparition laughed, the sound devoid of both sanity and humanity. “I have purely come for what is mine. You have been lucky to escape my notice for so long. That luck ends tonight.”
“What are you talking about?” Kait’ asked, her voice and expression cold, neither holding any trace of fear.
