“The reason onii-chan gave up on kendo and started avoiding me, you knew this long ago right? I am not your real sister so you put me at a distance right? Then, why are you so kind to me now!!”
No matter how bad it is, she couldn’t hold in the words anymore. As Suguha’s voice reverberated in the cold air in the corridor, Kazuto’s black eyes gradually lost their expression.
“I… was very happy when onii-chan came back from SAO. I was glad we had finally been able to regain the relationship we had as children. You finally looked at me, I thought.”
Finally, she could not bear anymore, and the tears came streaming down her face. Suguha harshly rubbed her eyes, and to her limits forced her voice out of her chest.
“… But… if I knew this would be the case, maybe it would have been better if onii-chan had remained cold to me. In that case, I wouldn’t know that I love onii-chan… Or find out about Asuna-san and feel sad… Then I wouldn’t have to love Kirito to replace you!!”
When he heard these words Kazuto’s eyes got a little wide, and he looked stiff. After a few seconds, while time seemed stopped, Kazuto shook his head and said sadly,
“…I’m sorry…”
Since he woke up two months ago, Kazuto’s eyes that looked at Suguha usually had a caring and gentle light shining in them. But now, that light was faded, in exchange a deep darkness was exposed there. Suguha was filled with severe pain, as though her heart was cut with the blade of regret.
“…Just, leave me alone.”
She didn’t want to see Kazuto’s face any longer. While being crushed with guilt and self-loathing, Suguha closed the door to run away and took a few steps back. Her heel touching her bed, she fell back as she collapsed.
Curled up with a sheet wrapped around her body, her shoulders trembled as sobs racked her body. Then the tears began to fall, leaving marks on the white linen sheets while being absorbed by it.
Part 6
With the door closed in front of me, I stood there for a while.
Soon, I turned and slid to the floor with my back against her door.
Suguha’s accusation that I had distanced myself from her because she wasn’t my true younger sister was almost correct. I had searched the net for my family registry, but I had found the deletion notice, so I asked my parents about it. I was ten years-old. I began to put some distance between Suguha and myself, but there was no specific reason.
At that time, I did not understand the meaning of the distance between other people.
I did not have any memory of my real parents, Kirigaya Minetaka and Midori had told me the truth, but their love for me did not change so I was not really hurt. However, a seed of a strange feeling was planted in me, by the time it started to bud, it was already deeply rooted.
That is, for someone who didn’t even know their relatives, who is that person really? That was my question. I came to think of a family as a set of acquaintances with a long relationship, someone who knows everything. I wondered who that person would actually be. Did I really know someone like that?
That sense of incongruity may be one of the reasons that led me to dive into the world of online games. There, the avatars that come in contact over the network are naturally different within the game. No one really knew who each other is. On this premise we interacted, that was to say it was a false world, that was something I found pleasant. By the time I was a 5th or 6th grader, I was already addicted to net games, without a side glance I moved straight forward. Finally I was imprisoned for two years, in that virtual world.
The world of Sword Art Online would have been something of a utopia for me, if not for the game’s rule of death. A false dream that I wouldn’t wake up from. The virtual world that could never end.
In that world, I played Kirito, who no one knew.
However, in the abnormal situation of a FullDive net game where I couldn’t log out, I was led without force to one inevitable truth.
Whether it was the real world or a virtual world, it was essentially identical.
Because humans understand their world by receiving the information from the five senses that had been processed by the brain. The only reason a net game is a false world is that you can leave by switching off the machine.
A world that your brain recognized through electronic pulses, a world that you can’t log out of.
Those are words that describe the real world itself.
When I realized that, I finally realized the emptiness of the question that had been confusing me since the age of ten. Worrying about who people really were was something with no meaning. The only thing you were able to do is believe what you see, and accept it. The person that I recognize is the true person.
From the door I had my back to came Suguha’s sobbing.
When I returned to the real world, the moment I first saw her face, I was honestly glad to see her. I wanted to shorten the distance that I had built over a few years because of my meaningless question, we would rebuild our bonds, I would approach her because I wanted to.
However, perhaps Suguha had also gained a new awareness of me over these past two years. She knew that her onii-chan was actually her cousin, and was likely trying to come to terms with the distance I had put between us. I who thought that she didn’t know the truth wasn’t able to notice her feelings.
To this Suguha, I had shown my feelings for Asuna many times. I had cried in front of her thinking of Asuna. It wasn’t hard to imagine how deeply I had hurt Suguha.
No, it was not just that.
Perhaps the reason the PC tone-deaf Suguha had started playing VRMMO games was also me. To know my world, Suguha dove into the virtual world, and after a long time nurtured another her. The person who helped me many times in ALfheim, Lyfa - who was the real Suguha.
Yui had hypothesized that the reason I met her after I first logged in was because someone in my neighborhood had connected to ALO at the same time as me. Because we made our dives not from the same neighborhood, but the same house, our global IP address was identical. So, after I naturally encountered Lyfa, the only thing in my head was Asuna, and I hurt Lyfa like I had hurt Suguha.
I closed my eyes so tightly that when I opened them they seemed to make noise, and stood up with all of the power in my legs.
Now, I will do what I could for Suguha. When words were not enough, stretching out your hands, in the world of SAO, many people had taught me that with their whole self.
Part 7
A strong knock sounded on the door, pulling Suguha out of her stupor. Out of reflex, she cowered.
‘Don’t open the door’, she was going to shout, but the only thing that leaked from her throat was a blurred voice. However, Kazuto started speaking without turning the door knob.
“Sugu… I’ll be waiting for you on the terrace in the north side of Aarun.”
It was a calm voice, a gentle voice. She felt that he then moved from the front of her door. After the sound of a door opening and closing across the hall, silence fell.
Suguha closed her eyes tightly and curled up again. The tears began falling again, making a dripping sound.
Kazuto’s voice was not the least bit shaken. Could he have just swallowed the terrible words she had showered upon him?
‘- He was so strong, her onii-chan. I can’t be that strong…’
While whispering in her heart, she remembered the night a few days ago.
That night, Kazuto was like her now, curled up on his bed. Exactly the same thing, thinking about the beloved one he was unable to reach. It was the shape of a lost child.
It was the next day that she met Kirito. That is, Kazuto had found out that while Asuna’s body slept, her consciousness was in ALfheim - on the World Tree towering above. He threw himself into the virtual world again. Wiped his tears, with sword in hand.
- At that time, she said good luck to him. She had told him not to give up. However, she herself was continuing to cry like this…
Suguha slowly opened her eyes. A
glorious, round crown was placed in front of her.
Reaching out and taking it she placed it over her head.
Sunlight poured down from the partially cloudy sky and shone gently on the ancient styled streets of Aarun.
Looking around the log in point, Kirito’s figure could not be seen. Checking the map, she could see that she was in the south plaza outside the dome of the world tree, and the north side seemed to have a large terrace for events. He was probably waiting there for Lyfa.
Although she had come here, she was still scared about the meeting. She didn’t know what she should say or what to expect she would hear. Taking several despondent steps, Lyfa sat down on a bench in the corner of the plaza.
She couldn’t be sure how long she sat with her head down. Suddenly, someone landed in front of her. She reflexively hardened her body and closed her eyes.
However, the person who called her name was a surprise.
“Finally… I was looking for you, Lyfa-chan!”
A familiar, cheerful, but unreliable voice echoed. She lifted her head while dumbfounded, there stood the figure of the yellow-green haired Sylph boy.
“…R, Recon!?”
Seeing this unexpected face, Lyfa instantly forgot the pain she was in, and asked him why he would be there. Recon placed his hands on his hips, puffed out his chest and said in a proud voice:
“Well, after Sigurd left, my paralysis wore off so I killed the two Salamanders with poison and escaped from the underground waterway. I was going to kill Sigurd with poison too but he wasn’t in the Sylph capital, so I decided to go to Aarun too. I passed through the mountain range, training[2] active monsters on people on the way, and I finally arrived in Aarun this morning. It really took a full night.”
“…You, that is pure MPK[3]…”
“Don’t worry about the small details at this time!”
Recon did not care about Lyfa’s accusatory words, he seemed cheerful, and sat down close to her. Seeing Lyfa alone, he was puzzled, as he looked around the surrounding area, asked.
“What happened to that Spriggan? Is your party disbanding?”
“Well…”
Looking for the right words, Lyfa fidgeted, shifting her hips uncertainly. However, it was like there was a lump of constant ache in her chest, no skillful excuses seem to float up. When she realized, she was already saying what was buried in her heart.
“…I, said terrible things to that person… Even though I loved him, I said things that I shouldn’t to hurt him… I am, a fool…”
Tears almost overflowed again, but Lyfa desperately held them back. Recon / Nagata was just her classmate, above that this is the virtual world, she didn’t want to bare emotions that would confuse him. So she quickly turned away and continued in rapid speech.
“I’m sorry to have said such strange things. Forget it. I won’t meet that person anymore… Let’s go home, to Sylvain.”
Even if she tried to escape here, in reality she was laying only a few meters from him would not change. But she was still scared of meeting Kirito. Without going to the meeting place, she would go back to Sylvain, and after saying goodbye to several close friends, she would put «Lyfa» in eternal sleep, she thought. Someday the pain would fade, until that time.
Determined, Lyfa looked up and saw Recon’s face. She was startled and unintentionally leaned back.
“Wh… what!?”
Recon’s face flushed as red as a tomato, his eyes wide open, his mouth opened and shut with nothing coming out. For a moment, she forgot they were in a town, she wondered whether water-attribute suffocation magic was used. At that time, Recon suddenly moved at terrific speed, grabbing her hands then placing them on his chest.
“What-what’s wrong!?”
“Lyfa-chan!”
The nearby players turn toward them after hearing his loud voice. He craned his neck, and continued while moving as close as possible to Lyfa who was leaning back to her limit.
“Ly, Lyfa-chan you should not cry! If you are not always smiling, you are not Lyfa-chan! I, I will always be by your side… Either here or in the real word, I will never leave you alone… I, I, I love you Lyfa-chan…Suguha-chan!”
After rattling on like a broken faucet, he didn’t wait for Lyfa to answer, but moved his face forward. There was a strange shine from those usually timid eyes, his lips expanding under a swollen nose as he chased Lyfa.
“Ah, that, wai…”
From ambush to surprise attack was Recon’s speciality, Lyfa was surprised by the unexpected words and actions, and her body went stiff. As if regarding her silence as consent, Recon was leaning as if to cover Lyfa, and continued approaching.
“Hey… wait…”
Feeling Recon breathe on her face, Lyfa finally recovered from her stunned state, and clenched her left fist.
“Wait… I said!!”
While shouting, she twisted her body and struck Recon’s solar plexus with a full strength short blow.
“Guhoo!!”
Since this was inside a city, there’s no direct damage but the knock-back effect still worked, Recon was lifted up about one meter then dropped back down to the bench. He raised his voice in agony while holding his abdomen with both hands.
“Uguguguuuu.. H, how cruel, Lyfa-chan!!”
“Which!! Suddenly saying something so stupid!”
Lyfa felt her face became hot and stood up. Her face blazing like dragon breath with a combination of anger and embarrassment as she realized her lips had nearly been stolen. For now she lifted Recon up by his collar and punched him several more times with her right fist.
“Uge! Ugee! S, sorry, I’m sorry!!”
Recon rolled off the bench, and sat on the ground holding himself up with his right hand while shaking his head. Lyfa released her offensive stance and sat down cross-legged on the bench, and bowed her head.
“Oh…. How strange… After that, I thought all that was left was if I had the courage to confess or not…”
“…Why you…”
Lyfa was amazed, and honestly said in a becoming tone.
“…Are really stupid. “
“Ugu…”
Looking at Recon’s wounded face, which looked like puppy that had been scolded, Lyfa broke into amazed laughter. With a mixture of sigh and laughter, Lyfa felt like something else came out with them. At the same time, she felt the depths of her chest become lighter.
I guess I was just swallowing everything up till now, she thought. Afraid that she would be hurt, she had clenched her teeth and borne it. Because of that, she was overwhelmed by a flood of emotions, and ended up hurting her loved one.
She might have been too late - but at least at the end she wanted to be honest. Thinking that, Lyfa’s shoulders relaxed, looking at the sky, and said:
“- But I don’t hate this side of you.”
“What!? Really, is that the truth!?”
Recon jumped back onto the bench, and tried to grab her hand, not learning his lesson.
“Don’t get carried away!”
Pulling back her hand, Lyfa rose into the sky.
“- Once in a while, I’ll try to learn from you. Wait here a while. - If you follow me, this time it will be more than that!”
Lyfa thrust her right fist with a pow toward Recon’s face, then opened it and waved, and reversed her direction. She beat her wings strongly, flying with abandon toward the World Tree.
Flying around the huge World Tree for a few minutes, a vast terrace came into view below. It seemed that space was often used for a flea market and occasionally guild events, but today it was deserted. The north side of Aarun doesn’t hold any buildings with great architecture, so there weren’t any tourists in sight.
The black shadow of a person stood out on the bare pavement in the center of the terrace. With sharp gray wings, and a huge sword strapped to his back.
Lyfa took a deep breath and landed in front of him with grim determination.
“…Hi.”
Kirito
saw her then with a slightly tense but the usual casual smile, greeted her briefly.
“Sorry to keep you waiting.”
Lyfa also replied with a smile. Silence lasted for a while. Only the sound of the wind passed between the two.
“Sugu….”
Kirito finally opened his mouth. A serious look in his eyes. But Lyfa gently raised her hand and interrupted him. She beat her wings once, moving back a step.
“Onii-chan, let’s have a match. A continuation of that day.”
Lyfa reached for her katana while she spoke, Kirito stared, eyes slightly wide. His mouth moved, as if to say something, but then stopped.
Kirito just looked at her with the black eyes which were the same as in reality, then several seconds later, nodded. He also started beating his wings, putting some distance between them.
“- All right. Now there is no handicap this time.”
Kirito replied with a smile, moving his hand to the sword on his back.
They drew their swords at the same time. The cool metallic sound of the two swords being drawn overlapping. Lyfa held her katana in her favorite middle stance, staring straight at Kirito. Kirito crouched down, in a low stance with his sword skimming the ground. In the same way as that day.
“You don’t need to stop just before hitting. - Let’s go!!”
Saying so, she kicked off the ground at the same time.
While in the instant that their distance shorten, I saw - Lyfa thought. That day, when we sparred, she had thought Kazuto’s stance was unreasonable, but it was something polished in the virtual world. Kazuto had gained all his experience in the two years of fighting with real swords at the risk of his life.
She seriously felt she wanted to understand that time for the first time. In that hated world, with the game of death, what he saw, what he thought, and how he lived, she wanted to know.
Lyfa held her sword high, cutting straight down. In Sylvian, it was said Lyfa’s attack was unavoidable, but Kirito seemed to move like the the flow of air and just shifted slightly, dodging it. Right after, the large sword immediately jumped in with a twist. She pulled back her katana and blocked it, but both arms were stunned by the heavy impact.
Sword Art Online - Volume 4 - Fairy Dance Page 11
