by S. M. Shade
He snorts. “You are nowhere near fat, Abby.”
I roll my eyes and sit down on a rock beside him. “I don’t know why you call this a cave.”
It’s more of a cliff, a giant rock that slopes inward creating a narrow overhang. The dirt below our feet is soft, almost like sand. It has obviously been sifted through for years by people collecting arrow heads and flint.
“I don’t have a better word for it.” He shrugs and glances up when it begins to thunder. The wind picks up, and it’s loud as it roars through the trees. “We’d better start home.”
We walk for about ten minutes before the storm is upon us. It’s getting dark. The clouds are black and ominous, but it’s the lightning that’s terrifying. It streaks down from the sky in wide jagged bolts, closer and closer.
“The barn!” Joseph shouts over the wind. His hand is cold in mine as the rain starts to pelt us. How does he know which way to go? I can’t see anything, and I’m trying to watch where I step so I don’t trip over a branch. When we break through the tree line, I can see the barn. We’re nearly there when a bolt of lightning strikes a nearby tree with an earsplitting crack. I scream, and we both clap our hands over our ears. Joseph yanks the barn door open, and we dart inside.
We stop just inside the door in pitch black. I can hear Joseph trying to catch his breath over the sound of the hail and rain hitting the roof.
“Damn, Abby! That was too close.”
I pull a flashlight from the emergency pack and flip the switch. This isn’t a bad place to shelter. It’s pretty clean for a barn. It’s dry and smells faintly of horses and hay. Two stalls along one wall are piled high with hay or straw, I can’t tell which in the gloom. A small hole in one corner of the roof leaks, and the dirt floor underneath is becoming muddy.
The radio blares, and I hand it to Joseph. “Where the hell are you?” Airen demands, his voice crackling with static.
“In the barn near the cave. We’re fine. The storm snuck up on us,” Joseph explains.
“Stay there, it’s really bad out here right now.”
“Yeah, we noticed,” I reply sarcastically.
“Are you okay, darlin’?” he asks, concerned.
“I’m fine. We have an emergency pack with us. We’ll head back when the storm passes. Tell the kids not to worry.”
“Keep the radio on so I can reach you.”
“We will. By the way, there’s a casserole in the fridge you can put in the oven for dinner.”
“Julie’s on it.” Airen chuckles.
“Good, Julie is there.”
“Right here, dear,” she replies.
“Take care of Airen for me,” I say. “Oh...and the kids,” I add with a giggle.
“Be careful and stay put,” Airen orders again.
“I’ll call when we’re on our way back,” I promise.
After I put the radio away, I hand Joseph the second flashlight. The storm pounds away outside, showing no sign of letting up. Joseph looks pitiful, soaked through and shivering, with his hair pasted to his head.
“You look like a drowned rat.” I giggle.
With a dirt floor and a hole in the roof to vent the smoke, I figure it’s safe to start a fire and try to dry ourselves. I hate to admit it, but Airen’s emergency pack has been a lifesaver. Using some dry lumber we found piled in a corner and a few handfuls of straw, we manage to start a small fire. Joseph locates two saddle blankets, a little dusty, but otherwise fine, and unfurls one for us to sit on.
“Better?” I ask.
“Much better.” He smiles at me.
“It’s not letting up at all.” My voice sounds small, as another sheet of hail blows against the walls and lightning flashes, illuminating our faces.
“Yeah, it may be dark when it does, and I’m not sure about finding our way home in the dark,” he admits.
The thought of getting lost in the woods at night sends shivers down my spine. “Perhaps we should wait here until the sun comes up,” I reluctantly suggest.
As if he’s reading my mind, the radio beeps, and Airen’s voice blares. “Abby! Joseph!”
“We’re here,” I reply.
“You two may be stuck for the night.”
“We know, don’t worry. We have a fire, and we’ll be fine.”
“It’s going to get colder,” he warns, obviously concerned.
“We found a blanket, and there’s a pile of hay we can lie in,” Joseph reassures him.
“Stay close to her, buddy, and keep her warm,” Airen pleads. “If you two come back with pneumonia, I’ll kick both your asses.”
“We’ll get naked and huddle together for warmth.” Joseph grins at me, and I smack him.
“Ha!” Airen scoffs. “Since Abby’s feet and ass drop thirty degrees when she’s naked, I doubt that’ll work.”
“Airen!” Jeez
“I’ll take care of her,” Joseph swears, grinning at me.
“I’m not exactly helpless, you know!” I swear, sometimes they treat me like a two year old.
“I know, sweetheart. Take care of Joseph. He’s delicate.”
“Good night, Air.”
“Good night, I love you.”
“I love you, too,” Joseph and I answer in unison, and I hear Airen chuckle before he signs off.
Joseph sighs. “It’s going to be a long night. We probably have around ten hours before sunrise.”
“I’m dry at least. How about you?”
“Almost. It was mainly my shirt that was wet.”
“Are you hungry?”
“Depends on what Mr. Prepared has packed in that bag.”
I dig through it and find packs of peanut butter crackers, cheese crackers, raisins, and dried apple slices. He has also packed two large bottles of water.
“Mmm.” Joseph munches on an apple slice. “Thank goodness for Airen’s obsessive overprotective tendencies.”
“It could have been a lot worse. No light, no fire, no food, or water. This isn’t bad.”
Joseph grins at me, displaying those charming dimples. “The company could be worse.” Something crashes in the woods, too close for comfort, and I glance up in alarm.
“Probably a tree, we’re okay.” When I scoot closer to him, he puts his arm around my shoulders. “You aren’t afraid of storms, are you?” he asks, an amused glint in his eye.
“No, I love the sound of a good thunderstorm. I’m scared of tornadoes. The sirens and warnings always used to freak me out, but at least we knew what to expect.”
“True, but the odds of being in the path of a tornado are pretty slim, honey.”
I nod nervously. “It’s just a bad storm.” Joseph gazes at me. “What?”
“I don’t believe I’ve ever heard you admit you were afraid. You’ve been kidnapped, shot at, and had another gun pointed at you, and you never blinked.”
“Of course I was afraid. I just try to stay calm to keep from panicking. I was terrified when you and Airen went to Evansville, and when Mandy had the gun on Airen, I nearly had a heart attack.”
“Well, you’re a pro at hiding your feelings.”
“Not anymore! I used to be, but I’m a regular cry baby now.”
Chuckling, he tosses another board on the fire. “That’s not a bad thing. A lot has happened to you, and anyone would be more emotional.”
“Tell me something that scares you.” I lean into him, and he tucks me against his warm body. His eyes meet mine, and I can see the flames reflected in them.
“Lots of things.”
“What’s your worst fear?”
“Losing Walker,” he answers instantly.
“Same here. If something happened to Carson, I wouldn’t even try to survive.”
“And being alone forever,” he adds quietly.
Oh no. “Oh, Joseph! You don’t have to worry about that.” I hug him. “You’re such a wonderful guy, and someone is going to come along and fall madly in love with you.” He’s blushing when I let him go. “How did you mee
t Tim?”
“In college.”
“Will you tell me about it?”
There is another crash followed by a clap of thunder that shakes the ground, and I peer up at the roof apprehensively while envisioning a tree slamming through the barn to crush us both. Joseph squeezes my hand. “It’s farther away than it sounds,” he lies. “I was eighteen when I met Tim, and he was nineteen,” he says, trying to distract me from my fear.
“Was he handsome?”
A sweet smile raises his lips as he answers. “He was hot, and he knew it. He was a little taller than me, with broad shoulders and a chest a mile wide. He had dark brown hair and brown eyes, and he worked out religiously so he had an amazing body. He was fun, really outgoing, and always surrounded by friends. The girls were all over him, but he wasn’t into girls. I gave him a ride home from a party one night, and he told me I had a beautiful smile.” He grins, remembering.
“Those dimples won him over.” I poke him.
“He leaned over and kissed me before he got out of the car, and I was shocked. I didn’t know he was gay. He asked me to meet him for lunch the next day, and we never spent a day apart after that.” He continues, his forlorn gaze focused on the fire.
“We were never officially married, living in Illinois it wasn’t possible, but I called him my husband, and he did the same. We both wanted children so we hired a surrogate mother and used both of our sperm to inseminate her. We joked about seeing who had the strongest swimmers.” He laughs. “When we discovered we were having twins, we were ecstatic. Twin boys! It was a dream come true.
“When they were born, it was clear that Walker came from me with his light hair and green eyes. Mason was dark-headed and had brown eyes, like Tim.” His voice falters, and his eyes glaze with tears. “I loved them so much, Abby. I miss them every day.”
“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have asked you to talk about them.” I slide my arm around his waist, and he rests his head on my shoulder.
“No, I like to talk about them. I don’t want to forget. When we left, I was half crazy with grief. I didn’t bring anything with us, and I really wish I had a picture of them now.”
“Someday you’ll go back and get the pictures. You’ll be able to see their faces again, along with the rest of your family,” I reassure him.
“They were my family. I’m an only child and my parents...” He sighs. “That’s another long story with a bad ending.”
“Do you want to tell me about it?”
“Let’s get you warm first. You have goose bumps.” He rubs his hand up and down my arm, warming me. I build up the fire while Joseph rakes out a pile of hay, covering it with a saddle blanket, and we curl up together on top of it. He spreads the other blanket over us and tucks it around our bodies.
“If we get too cold, we can burrow down in the hay and use both blankets to cover up,” he suggests. His arm slides around my waist, and tugs me closer to him. His body is warm and firm against mine while I breathe in the rugged manly scent of him. My mind flashes to Airen, who might not like this if he knew. He told Joseph to keep me close and warm, but this may not be what he had in mind.
Joseph feels me stiffen and amusement sounds in his voice. “Airen won’t mind, Abby, but I don’t want to make you uncomfortable.”
“I’m fine, but maybe we could keep the sleeping arrangements to ourselves.”
“Your secret’s safe with me.” I lay my head on his shoulder and wrap my arms around him. He’s so warm. I’m spending the night cuddled with another incredibly sexy man, even though it’s completely platonic. It’s like I hit the ugly girl lottery. I relax into him, and he hugs me close.
“Are you tired?” I ask.
“Wide awake, do you think you can sleep?”
“Not yet. This is comfortable, though. The hay is softer than I expected, and you don’t make a bad pillow,” I chide.
“Any time, honey. It feels nice to sleep with someone.” I chuckle at him, and he tickles my ribs. “You know what I mean.”
“I do, and I hope the right person comes along for you soon. I know what it’s like to be lonely. Just know that Airen, the kids, and I all love you, although I know that’s not the same.”
He kisses my cheek. “I’m still a lucky guy.” We lie in silence for a few minutes, listening to the rain patter on the roof. Joseph is deep in thought, staring at the rafters sullenly.
“Hey.” I speak softly. He glances down at me and flashes a tight smile that doesn’t reach his eyes. They are a dark emerald green in the gloom of the barn. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to bring back painful memories.” I hate seeing him this way. He’s usually so upbeat and happy.
“You didn’t. They never really go away. You asked me about my parents.”
I nod against his chest, and he tightens his arm around me. “What do you want to know?”
“Did they die in the plague?”
“I don’t know. I hadn’t seen them in thirteen years,” he confesses. “Not since I was fifteen years old. They never met Tim or my boys.”
“You moved away from home at fifteen?”
“They kicked me out when I admitted I was bisexual.”
Christ, his family sounds as heartless as mine. “Oh, Sweetie, where did you go?”
“First, to a homeless shelter and then to a group home. An organization that helped displaced gay kids find a home stepped in and saved me. They placed me with a foster family, the Crane’s, who were lovely people.”
“You took their last name.” Now I understand why he prefers to be called Joseph instead of Joe, like his father.
“Yes, I did. They were also caring for a young girl, Jayla’s age, whose parents disowned her when she began questioning her sexuality. I lived with them until I finished high school, and I used to visit them often after I moved out.”
“Do you wonder about your parents?”
“I’d like to know if either of them are alive, or if they’re both in their heaven they were so confident I’d keep them from reaching.”
My tears overflow as my heart aches for him, and he brushes them softly from my cheeks before kissing my temple. “Don’t cry, honey. It’s all in the past. I have a family now that doesn’t judge me.”
“I’m sorry. Trust me when I tell you I know how it feels to be judged and to have people look down on you. I know how hard it is to have parents who hate you or just don’t give a shit, and what it’s like to be on your own as a teenager. I’m sorry for what they did to you. You’re the kindest person I’ve ever met. Thank you for telling me,” I whisper.
My eyes close as his long fingers run through my hair. “Will you tell me your story sometime?”
“Yes, what has Airen told you?”
“He said you had a traumatic childhood, and you’ve dated too many assholes who have destroyed your self-esteem. Also, you may be the only woman in the world who doesn’t want to hear she’s pretty.”
“That just about covers it, I suppose.”
Pinching my chin, he tilts my head back until we’re eye to eye. “Why Abby?”
“Because it’s not true, and I don’t want to talk about that tonight, okay?” I plead, yawning.
“I think you’re lovely, Abby. Inside and out.”
“Please…don’t.”
“Alright, we don’t have to talk about it right now, honey. We should try to sleep.”
The rain has let up, and it’s finally quiet. The fire has burned out and left us in the dark, but I feel safe with Joseph’s arms around me, and I’m content as I drift off to sleep. A soft kiss on my lips, so soft I may have dreamed it, draws a satisfied hum from my throat.
It’s too bright. While my eyes struggle to adjust to the sunlight, I try to remember where I am. I’m still curled up with Joseph, our arms around each other, my head on his shoulder. When I rub the sleep out of my eyes, and my vision clears, Airen is standing over us, smirking.
“You two are so busted,” he gloats. Oh Hell. Is he going to be upset? “I
can’t let you out of my sight for a minute.” He nudges Joseph awake with his foot. “You’re wrapped around my girl.” Arms crossed, he shakes his head in disapproval.
Joseph wakes and stares up at him, unfazed. “You could’ve warned me that she snores.”
“I do not!” I insist, sitting up and brushing hay from my hair. At least he’s not mad.
“And what do you have to say for yourself, young lady?” Airen teases, getting way too much enjoyment from this.
I smile up at him, still sitting in the hay. “Well, you got to make out with him, and I got to cuddle with him so I think we’re even.” Joseph laughs out loud while Airen helps me off the pile of hay. “What time is it?” I ask.
“Around six,” Airen replies.
“Did you go to bed at all?”
“I tried, but it was so empty. My girl was shacked up with my best friend all night.”
“We were not shacked up!”
“Looked pretty cozy to me,” he drawls.
“It was.” Joseph sighs, dramatically.
“You aren’t helping,” I inform him.
“I’m not trying to.”
He grins up at me, all dirty and covered in hay and dust. I must look a mess as well.
“Relax, Abby. I’m just teasing you. You know I wasn’t worried,” Airen says.
Joseph rolls his eyes. “Says the man who got up at five a.m. and hiked three miles to check on us.”
“In my defense, she did ask me what it was like to kiss you—and I quote—on your thick, full lips.” He chuckles when I gape at him, and Joseph beams from ear to ear. Bastards.
“Airen!” I snap, tempted to crawl under the hay and hide. My cheek burns as Joseph kisses it.
“Anytime you want to find out, baby,” he chirps.
“Now we’re even,” Airen whispers with an evil little grin, and I try to avoid looking at them.
“Let’s go. I’m hungry,” Joseph remarks, and leads the way out of the barn.
Abraham
I can still hear him screaming and begging for mercy. The whack of the cane and the blood that bloomed in a line across his naked skin was more satisfying than I’d anticipated. Our pound of flesh, Lord. He’ll wear my artwork until the day he dies.
