by Gale Borger
Ian held a finger to his lips, shushing her. Into the apartment, Ian raised his voice. "Anyone home?"
Immediately the Banana Palm said, in a high voice, "No one here but us chickens!" and then, "Cluck, cluck, cluck!"
Mag frowned. "I thought you said you lived alone. Who's the comedian?"
She started off toward the door. Ian grabbed her hand. "Wait. Watch this." He walked to the refrigerator and took out a mango. He sliced it in half, leaned on the breakfast bar, and made slurpy sounds. "Mmmm, chow time!"
The Banana Palm screeched and in a gravelly voice said, "Now wait just a cotton pickin' minute, you varmint!"
Mag watch wide-eyed as a huge Cockatoo flew out of the Banana Palm and skidded across the breakfast bar. He grabbed the mango and began munching. Ian stroked the bird and Mag watched in fascination as he ripped chunks out of the mango with his impressive beak.
Ian said, "Yum!"
"Yum, yum, yum," Bird squawked.
She backed into Ian, not wanting to lose a finger. "What's his name?" she whispered in awe.
"Kitty," he whispered back.
"KITTY, KITTY! HERE KITTY, KITTY, KITTY!" The bird screeched. "HEEEEERE KITTY!"
Mag stared at Ian. He shrugged. "That's all he would say when I first got him, so that's what I called him."
"HERE KITTY, KITTY, KITTY!" Kitty alternately tore into the mango and hollered for the non-existent cat.
Ian flinched. "But I don't call him that often. Most of the time I just call him Dumb Bird. Hey, Dumb Bird, don't talk with your mouth full."
"DUMB BIRD!"
Ian sighed. "Maggie, why don't you relax for a bit? I need to make some calls and get organized. The small bathroom is down the hall to the left, second door. The master bedroom is to the right. It has its own bathroom. You might like that one better. I'll be on the left behind 'Door Number One'. Just walk in when you feel like it."
He kissed her nose and picked up his laptop. He mumbled to himself and went into his office. She stood looking down the empty hallway. She glanced at Kitty, slurping away on what was left of the mango, then again at the empty hallway. She could hear Ian talking on the phone. Picking up her overnighter, she wandered down the hall.
She poked her head into the first bathroom and sighed. The walls were done in sand-washed burnt orange. Different species of cacti lined the many shelves. Interspersed were desert succulents and other arid climate plants. The walk-in shower was done in light beige, and accent splashes of blues, pinks, and reds made the room look like the desert at sunset.
She stood in the doorway and stared. Ian's words came back to her about liking the other bathroom better, but she didn't know how she possibly could. She said aloud, "You really think you know a guy…"
She wandered down the hall and stepped into Ian's bedroom. His personal space reflected a quiet glen. The massive four-poster looked as if it was made of fallen trees.
The design was asymmetrical, but the beauty of the natural hollows and ridges of the wood created by Mother Nature could never be duplicated by man. Mag ran her hand over the dark wood, which had been waxed to a beautiful luster. A green, beige, and chocolate comforter was a perfect compliment to the cream walls. Instead of curtains, she saw a high shelf set with ivies, vinca, and other trailing plants. A huge bamboo paddle fan delicately moved the air. The gentle breeze carried the exotic scent of flowers. Aside from the bed and a matching night table, no other furniture graced the room. Mag walked across the knotty pine floor. She peeked behind a door and found a walk-in closet the size of her living room.
She walked to the only other door in the room. She opened the door and understood what Ian meant by she 'might like this bathroom better'. Orchids of every color and size were scattered throughout the room. Flowering plants were on shelves, some hung in baskets, and others were planted in a natural environment in a raised bed. A large skylight loomed above a six-person Jacuzzi. The raised flower bed rimmed the wall side of the Jacuzzi. Tropical flowers she'd only seen in pictures gave off an intoxicating scent that made her feel light headed. "Oh my God. I don't know this guy at all. Or maybe I do."
Moving as if she were in a trance, Mag turned the jets on low and checked the heat. She lit the five pillar candles on a tray beside the faucets and dimmed the lights.
"Well, he did say relax. I hope he meant make myself at home, too. He'll probably be hours anyway."
She grabbed a huge fluffy bath sheet and placed it on the hot rail. As the steam rose in the bathroom, the smell of the plants seemed to grow more intense. Mag hugged herself and spun in a circle. She ripped off all her clothes.
She picked up a stereo remote and turned on some Chris Botti. She stepped across the stone floor and lowered herself into the warm, swirling, water. She leaned back and kept time with one toe, letting the music seep into her soul.
The water, the scents, the music, and the muted candle light assaulted Mag's senses until she was as limp as a rag doll. She whispered, "I think I'm in luuuv!" Eyes closed, she let her head loll back against the pool pillow.
* * *
Finished with his calls, Ian found her there. He stood looking down at her, thinking she was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen. He fell head over heels in that moment. Instead of feeling like he should be running to the nearest exit, the weirdest feeling of well being and rightness swept over him. Overwhelmed with emotion, he stood rooted to the spot, watching her.
Mag came slowly back to consciousness and realized she was no longer alone. She looked up and raised one hand toward him. "So, handsome man, what are you waiting for?"
Ian slowly smiled at her and she thought her heart would stop. He touched his palm to hers and they both felt the faint tingle. Feeling suave and debonair, he shed his clothes at nearly the speed of light. He paused for a second and she thought she had never seen anything as beautiful as this man. He threw his leg over the side of the Jacuzzi, his eyes never leaving hers. His toe caught on the faucet and pain shot through his foot. He bent to grab his foot and let out a howl of pain. He slipped and cannon-balled into the Jacuzzi right on top of Mag.
They both came up sputtering. Mag burst into peals of laughter, grabbed for a hand-hold and sank under the churning water. Ian hit his sore toe on the bottom of the tub and sucked in a lungful of water when he tried to take a breath and yell.
With him coughing and gasping, and her laughing so hard she hurt, she made the astute observation that they had to be the absolute last of the red hot lovers. The hilarity of the situation finally hit him and he laughed along with her. "Less like Carey Grant and more like Clem Kadiddlehopper, wouldn't you say?"
She nodded and agreed. "Yeah. Come here, Clem, and I'll show you some kadiddle hoppin' you'll never forget!"
She stretched her body along the length of his. He gathered her close and held her to him. The water flowed over them as the emotion flowed through them. They couldn't tell where one ended and the other began. He ran a finger lightly down the side of her face and cupped her chin. The kiss he gave her was so sweet, tears welled in her eyes. He trembled with emotion as he ran his hands up her thighs, over her derrière and up the slope of her back. His hand came to rest at the back of her neck and he supported her head as he deepened the kiss.
She gave as good as she got, and Ian finally snapped. Suddenly his hands and mouth were everywhere. She responded in kind. They came together on a tidal wave of passion that took them higher than either of them had ever been. She came apart in his arms. He felt her spasm around him and he tumbled after her.
As the emotion ebbed, they settled back in the tub, fingertips touching, eyes closed. They drifted on sensation and transcended to a new understanding of what 'making love' could mean.
"Wow."
"Wow."
"Hey, Ian?"
"Yes?"
"Do you really have to go to the office this afternoon?"
"Yes, Mag. They were expecting this stuff about an hour ago."
"Damn."
"Why damn?"
"I wanted to try out that beautiful bed."
Ian sighed heavily. "Me, too, but how about if you catch a nap in it and we'll try it out when I get home?"
"I don't have to go with you?"
"No, Mag. I'm dropping the stuff off at the correct departments and leaving instructions. Neither of us has slept. You take a nap, because when I come back to you and the big tree bed, neither of us are going to sleep, okay?"
"Mmmm-hmmm. I suppose we have to get out of this tub eventually, too."
"Yep. Right now, Princess. Let's go. I'm not going to have you fall asleep in here and drown on me while I'm gone."
She laughed and they clambered out of the Jacuzzi. Ian grabbed the towels on the hot bar and they wandered back into the bedroom. Ian fluffed her hair and dried her back. She ran the warm towel down his front and ran her tongue back up. He waited until she got nipple high before he grabbed her and tossed her on the bed. He pulled back the comforter on the bed and Mag slid in. He covered her naked body, kissed her nose and said, "Don't move until I get home."
Mag giggled and said, "Not a chance, Mister."
He laughed and went to the closet to get dressed. He came out in blue jeans and an FBI polo shirt. He checked his wallet and picked up his keys. He was set to go, but loathed leaving her. He turned to kiss her good bye and stopped. Mag was out like a light, sleeping like an angel. He left quietly by the front door.
Ian called the field office on his way downtown. Jeff Fuller had a team waiting when he arrived. Jeff took over explaining to Ian how responsibilities would be delegated.
"The M.B. lab will get the majority of the evidence. My guys will be able to do the RAPD, and the AFLP. Ned Thompson will work with cocaine and analyze the stable isotope and trace alkaloid data. The Palynology boys will take the seeds and check for anemophilous pollen, to see if they can hook up the seeds with one of the confiscated shipments from the south. There should be plenty of pollen in the wrappings surrounding the seeds. If all goes as we think it will, it will give us a jump on tracking the drug traffic to the north and back to the source."
Ian held up a vial of off-white powder. "Jeff, your molecular biology guys are going to have their hands full. Do you want me to do the breakdown analysis on this to see exactly what is in this stuff?"
"Already got it covered. I am personally going to do the analysis on this and the other samples to find out if they're making designer drugs, or cutting it for the streets. You're busy enough doing the field work, so get out of here. I have the phone and fax numbers of that Sheriff down in White Bass Lake. I'm going on your recommendation that we're not dealing with some hick Bozo, and I'll send everything I have to you through him."
Ian nodded. "Sheriff Green is a smart and savvy professional. We should have more guys like him out there."
Jeff doled out samples and paperwork to the lab techs. He moved nervously, and Ian could tell he was anxious to get started. He became more engrossed with each sample and spoke to Ian with a distracted air. "Uh, thanks for the drugs, Ian, and uh, we'll get right on those plants." He waved a hand in the air in Ian's general direction. "I'm sure you want to get into your bed as soon as possible, so you go on home and don't even think about this place. I'll call your cell tomorrow."
Ian sent him a crafty looking smile and said, "Jeff, you're a man after my own heart. I will take that as an order and make haste toward home and bed." He did an about face and practically sprinted for the door. He sang Bad to the Bone on his way to the car, glad it was mid-day and the traffic wasn't too bad. He stopped for milk, eggs, and ice cream on the way home, and practically danced through the door to his condo. He set everything on the counter and tip-toed to the bedroom. Mag was sprawled on her stomach across one side. Ian kneeled on the bed and kissed her ear.
She didn't even move. He nuzzled her neck and she said, "Mmmpf yum nar Eee-annnn!"
"Hey, Maggie," he said in dulcet tones, "Are you hungry, or do you just want to play?"
"Hmmmm." She rolled over. Away from Ian.
Ian flopped on his back and put his hand over his eyes. "I can't believe this! I guess I have my answer, though." He looked over at Mag and linked his fingers behind his head. "Well, sweetheart, I'm starving, how about you?"
Mag did not move.
"I agree. I'll make the eggs. Otherwise, my belly will keep me awake."
He went into the kitchen and pulled out the frying pan. He scrounged in the freezer and found some ham. He threw it in the microwave to thaw, and poured himself a glass of milk.
He checked Kitty's automatic waterer and filled his food bowl. The microwave dinged and he rubbed his hands together. "Aha!"
Kitty heard the bell and yelled, "Surf's up!"
He bowed to Kitty. "Meet Chez Ian at his finest. Take note, Dumb Bird!"
"Dumb Bird," Kitty replied.
Ian chuckled, "Well, at least we agree on something!" He plopped some butter, eggs, and the ham into the frying pan. He splashed a little milk from his glass into the pan, took a swig, and whisked the mixture together with a fork.
Putting the flame on low, he looked in the fridge. He eyeballed a block of moldy cheese, shrugged, then cut away the green stuff. He grated some in the pan and sprinkled in a pinch of garlic. Grabbing a paper plate, he dumped out half of the concoction and carried it to the breakfast bar. He wiped the remnants of mango off the counter top with a bleach cloth and sat down to eat.
Ian polished off the eggs and eyed up the leftovers in the pan. He figured he'd leave those for Mag. He put foil over the pan and put the whole thing in the refrigerator. He stood and patted his belly. "Now that's some fine vittles! And no dishes to wash. That's my kind of cookin' too!"
Ian took his remaining milk with him into the office. He fired up his computer and typed out his report. Opening up a drawer, he grabbed a Snickers Bar and munched on it while he read his notes. His eyes grew heavy and his head began nodding.
Yawning hugely, Ian shut down his computer. He stretched and yawned again, then stumbled toward the bedroom. Dropping his clothes where he stood, he slid under the covers next to Mag. She mumbled in her sleep and snuggled her butt up against him. He threw an arm around her, inhaled her sweet scent, and tumbled off the face of the earth.
Six hours later Ian cracked his eyes open. He smiled, stretched, and felt around for Mag. His eyes flew open when he reached out and touched empty space. He shook his head and looked around. Orienting himself, he became aware of two things. One, there were people talking in the other room, and two, Mag's clothes were still where she left them.
Ian shot out of bed and into his closet. He grabbed a pair of sweat pants and shoved his legs into them. He was down the hall and in the living room in four strides. The sight that met him made his heart do a ba-da-bump in his chest. Mag sat on the sofa with a bowl of popcorn in her lap. Kitty sat at her shoulder sharing her popcorn, dropping pieces all over her and the immediate vicinity. She was wearing a pair of his flannel pajama bottoms and his Northland College jersey. She and Kitty were watching The Philadelphia Story on video.
She looked up at him and smiled. "Hey, cowboy, you from around these parts?"
He ruffled his hair, stretched, and scratched his belly. "Why didn't you wake me? Did the phone ring?"
"Yep. Some woman called for you. I told her you'd be verrrry busy for the next fifty years or so. I'm afraid she won't be calling back."
"Won't you be embarrassed when that woman turns out to be my mom?"
"Naw, this woman sounded young. She didn't have a 'Mom' voice. You got any stray girlfriends lying about, Plant Boy?"
"You goof ball! It was probably my sister."
She gulped. The popcorn stuck in her throat. "You have a sister? Oh no, it's coming back to me now. Sister, Shannon. Twenty-five and finishing up vet school at UW Madison, right?"
Sudden banging on the front door sent Kitty flapping toward the banana tree.
"Iiian!" Bang, bang, bang, bang! She pounded hard enough to shak
e the pictures on the wall. "Ian! I know you're home. Open this door you evil Son of a Gun!"
"Good thing I never gave her a key," Ian said as he turned the knob. A whirlwind blew through the front door and swept through the kitchen. She came to a stop next to the sofa. She took in Mag's attire and her bare feet on the table. She looked at the movie as Jimmy Stewart stumbled drunkenly out of the car at Carey Grant's carriage house. She took in the popcorn all over the place and turned to Ian. One look at his hair standing on end and her usually perfectly pressed brother dressed only in a pair of sweat pants, and she turned a sweet shade of cotton candy pink.
"Uh, Ian, this is the weekend I was going to stay here. Remember, no school? Spend the weekend doing the town? Uh, have you changed my plans?" She wiggled her eyebrows and grew more agitated. "Amber and Emily are supposed to meet me here in a couple of hours. Mom told me you were here, but I didn't believe her. I came in early to see for myself. IAN!" She grabbed his arm, "You have to go."
She looked at Mag. "You must be Maggie. Are you going to be my sister? Mom says Ian finally sounds serious. She can not wait to meet you. You guys aren't staying, are you?"
Mag laughed. She thought Shannon was adorable. Ian thought she was a pushy pain in the ass. "Shan, we're just stopping over. We will be gone in an hour or so. We need to get back to White Bass Lake tonight, but I overslept. You're early, Shannie Girl, but have no fear, Louisa is due any minute to clean up, I'm going to throw some things in a duffel and we are out of here."
She smiled–all straight white teeth. "You are the best brother in the world!" She bounced over and kissed him on the cheek. She chuckled and patted Mag on the shoulder. "Fifty years or so, huh?"
At Mag's groan she laughed and said, "Don't worry about it–I thought it was sweet. I like you, Maggie Miller." She hugged Mag and bounced back out the door to get her luggage.
