by Ella Maven
Miranda and Justine sandwiched me on the cot, their arms slung around my shoulders as Val continued to work on my cuts. I knew I was filthy. I hadn’t had a proper shower since I swam through the qua, and I could still feel the wetness between my legs from Gar’s attentions last night.
Before I knew it, I had dropped my head in my hands and began to sob uncontrollably. “Gar… is … out there … all alone,” I blurted out between tear-filled hiccups. “And he … and he … said he was devoted to me … and I was his little one … and … and…”
I didn’t miss the way Miranda’s eyes dropped to my wrists, which only made me defensive. “We can be mates without the stupid loks!” I shouted at her.
Eyes wide, she reared back.
“They don’t matter.” I insisted. “I know how I feel, and he told me how he feels! But he’s dumb and took the tracker away so the Uldani wouldn’t find me and I don’t trust him not to sacrifice himself. That was what he planned! That would have happened if I didn’t follow him down into the Uldani’s secret lair or whatever. But then we found the cruiser, and he blasted his way out all, pew-pew!” I made finger guns and aimed them at the ceiling, feeling a little light-headed. “And now I don’t know where he is, and I’m heartbroken because I miss him, and I feel like I can barely breathe.”
I clutched at my chest and blinked away the tears to gaze around the room. Every female eye was on me. A few mouths gaped open.
Tabitha was the first to speak, her face pale as she said, “I’ve never heard you speak so much at one time.”
“I’m capable,” I muttered. “I just never had so much to say before.”
Val took a tentative step forward. “Let’s get you in the cleanser and then some rest.”
“I don’t want to rest,” I snapped. “I want Gar back. I want him here safe, even if he’s a big stupid head, I want him here. I don’t care about rest. I’m not hungry. I want Gar!”
The room roared with a loaded silence before Miranda finally broke it. She pointed at Justine. “Get the men.”
“Why do I have to—”
“Because most of us are pregnant. Get your skinny ass up and get some blue asses here now.”
With a huff, Justine shot out of the room. Miranda helped me to my feet and led me to the cleanser. “Let’s get you clean so you feel better and can tell them everything, okay? You’ll tell them all you know, and they’ll get on finding Gar right away.”
I nodded, letting her lead me. Good, that was … good. I was taking action. I couldn’t rest, not knowing Gar was out there leading around a pack of Uldani and Kulk who would have his head. No rest for me. They’d have to drug me first.
Fourteen
Naomi
They’d drugged me.
The bastards.
I woke up to arms around me, and for a split second of grogginess while I pulled myself out of REM, I was convinced they were Gar’s. Then I realized they weren’t scaled, blue, or fucking massive.
I was in Miranda’s room, judging by the massive amount of plants everywhere. One leaf extended down to tickle my nose and I blew it away with a huff. I turned to find myself spooned by Miranda. She was still asleep, with her mouth wide open and loud snores rattling her throat. She looked peaceful and well-rested, and I wanted to hit her. I settled for flicking her between the eyes. Jerking awake, she lifted her head off the pillow and batted her hand in front of her face as if to chat away a fly.
“Miranda,” I hissed.
Her eyes popped open, and she stared for a moment before flopping her head back down on the pillow. “More sleep,” she groaned.
“More sleep?” I asked incredulously. Just for that I flicked her again.
“Ow!” She slapped her hand over her forehead to protect it from more flicking. “Will you quit it?”
“No, I will not quit it.” This time I flicked her chin.
She shoved me, and I nearly fell off the pallet of furs.
I readied for a cat fight when a horned head popped up on the other side of the pallet, wide awake and narrow-eyed. “Miranda?” Drak said, rising to his full height. And he was… Great. He was naked. With a boner.
I threw the furs over my face. “Miranda, tell your man to put on some pants!”
“Drak!” My best friend cried.
“What?” He demanded in his deep, scratchy voice. “I sleep like this always.”
“Yeah, but we had a guest last night.”
“I gave up my pallet for her. I could not hold my bloom all night for her. I wasn’t putting on pants for her.”
“For fuck’s sake.” A smack followed, and I was sure it was Miranda slapping her forehead. “I love you, my mate, I do. But please put on pants. And maybe get us some breakfast?”
“Pants and deliveries like a chit,” he muttered over some rustling. “I am a valued Drixonian warrior and—”
“And you are deadly and savage, oh so strong, and blah blah,” Miranda spoke with amusement. “But right now, I need you to be a doting mate and help me out. Please?”
There was a pause. “You’re right. Anything for my bloom.” Then the bed dipped, and suction sounds followed.
I was about to boil. “Are you two seriously making out right now?”
Miranda laughed.
I lowered the furs to glare at her.
She pushed Drak’s shoulder gently. “Take your time.”
“I will. But tonight. I return to our furs. With no pants.”
Miranda rolled her eyes, but her cheeks were rosy. “Of course.”
With a nod to me—which I returned with a haughty sniff—he turned and walked out the door. Thankfully, wearing pants.
When the door shut behind him, I whirled on my friend. “What the hell is going on? Why are we not sending out search parties for Gar? Who drugged me? Why are there a million Drixonians all over the place?”
Miranda heaved a sigh and sat up against the wall behind the bed. “Listen, first, you were so worked up that we needed to drug you to get you some rest. It was the right decision, whether you agree or not. You gave us enough information last night that we’ve sent scouts out to look for him. But this isn’t easy. As you saw,” she gestured at the door, “things have changed since you’ve been gone. Daz has been working tirelessly to unite the clavases and it hasn’t been easy.”
“I haven’t been gone that long. How did he manage this in a few days?”
Miranda shrugged. “He’s convincing, I guess. And it hasn’t escaped the notice of other clavases that the appearance of Kulks and Uldanis in our territory has increased. Shit’s about to hit the fan, and they all want to be on the winning side. We’re stronger together.”
“So, what about Gar?”
“They haven’t found him yet.” My eyes went wide, and she held her hand in the air, palm out. “I know. I know, but they’re looking.”
Despair swamped me, and my shoulders slumped. Without my anger, sadness bled into my veins, sapping my energy. I dropped my head into my hands. “I’m so worried about him. I can’t even breathe thinking of him out there, hurt or captured, or…”
Miranda’s arms circled me, and she rested her chin on my head. I burrowed into her, thankful for the physical touch locking me together so I didn’t fly apart at the seams. “What happened out there between you two?”
How did I describe it? “Everything,” I sniffed.
Miranda’s arms tightened. “Everything?”
I turned my head, so my voice was muffled by her large boobs. “We fought. We talked. We connected. We…” I shivered thinking about the way he touched me. “…committed.”
“Naomi,” she whispered.
It all poured out then. I started at the beginning and explained what happened but instead of the timeline of facts, I poured my emotions into it. I told her how I felt every step of the way and how I knew in my heart he was my mate. I wanted him back, whole and happy, and I was worried that that wouldn’t happen.
“There’s so much more to him than
being gruff and silent. He talked to me, and he told me about his nightmares and his dreams, and he talked about his sister.”
Miranda’s arms spasmed.
I continued into her chest, “He told me he wanted to be with me until the day he died, but that he would also fight to the death for me. Unfortunately, he chose the latter. He doesn’t get that choosing to live is the best promise he could ever make to me.”
“Oh Naomi,” Miranda murmured. She held me at arm’s length and wiped the tears from my face. I hadn’t even realized I’d been crying.
That was how Drak found us when he strode through the door, two trays in his big hands loaded with food and drink.
I hadn’t thought I was hungry, but the smell filling the room made my stomach rumble. As soon as he placed the tray on my lap, I mumbled a quick thank you and dug in. I polished off three taranta eggs and a bowl of cut fruit before my stomach protested. Only then did I lean back with a steaming mug of pula. I never actually liked coffee. What I missed the most was Diet Coke. Pula tasted more like a bitter tea, but I’d grown used to it, and it did have some sort of energy booster in it I really could use right now.
Miranda ate much slower, while Drak retreated to the corner of the room and pulled out his blades to sharpen on a whetstone. The slicing sound sent shivers down my spine, but I ignored him as Miranda mirrored my pose, holding her own mug of pula.
“I feel guilty relaxing. I don’t want to relax,” I said.
“We’re not going to relax long,” she answered. “Finish your drink and then we’ll both take a turn in the cleanser. After that, Drak will escort us to talk to Daz and the rest of the council.”
“Escort us?”
“Daz trusts the drexels of the clavases here, and they all told their warriors that us females aren’t to be touched or bothered, but Daz isn’t taking any chances. It’s why you didn’t see any of us when you got here yesterday. We’re sequestered most of the time.”
I wrinkled my nose. “That sucks.”
Miranda’s lips turned down. “It hasn’t been fun. Tabitha is crawling the walls, and Justine is grumpier than normal.”
I glanced over at Drak, but he hadn’t looked up from his task. I knew he hated crowds, and my concern for him grew. “How is your mate doing?”
Miranda’s eyes strayed to Drak and stayed there. She nibbled her lip as concern clouded her expression. “He hates it. Too many warriors. Too loud. Everyone is on a schedule, and he doesn’t do well living like that, not when he was free for so long.”
The sharpening sounds stopped, and Drak met her gaze. “It’s been fine, my bloom.”
“I can tell it’s bothering you,” she scoffed.
“I didn’t say it doesn’t bother me. It does. But I believe in Daz. He said he’d unite the Drix clavases and he’s done that. We will no longer live to defend. We will go to war with the Uldani, and we will win.”
His gravelly voice raised goosebumps on my arm. With a nod, he bent his head and began to wipe his blades clean. I slowly turned my head to Miranda, but she hadn’t looked away from Drak, and conflicting emotions flitted across her deep brown eyes.
Finally, she met my gaze, and with a sad smile, gripped my hand. “We’ll find him, and then we’ll get through whatever comes next, okay? We’ve come this far.”
I nodded, but my stomach cramped, and the last gulp of pula tasted sour in my mouth.
Naomi
It was very intimidating to sit in the council room at the rear of the dining hall with Daz, Sax, Xavy, Nero, and Ward. The worst part was the empty chair across from me—Gar’s chair. I couldn’t stop staring at it, picturing him there, all scars, broken horn, and scowls while in his heart he expected to die for the cause before reaping the rewards.
I swallowed around the lump in my throat and looked away. As the only female in the room, I had no comfort really. As much as I respected and appreciated the Drixonians for all they’d done for us and how well they treated us, I’d never been close to any of the males. Well, all except for Hap, and he was still absent, taken by Shep out of the camp to rest after his injury.
Ward was tense, and I hated to see him like that. Did he know how badly Gar hurt every day? Even if he did, I doubted he knew how to help him. I hadn’t been sure either, but Gar had been receptive to me. At least for a little while. I rubbed my damp palms on my pant legs and jerked to attention when Daz began to speak.
“You told us some of what happened last night,” Daz said. “And we’ve used that to start the search for Gar. We’d like to hear all the details please.”
I nodded and after gulping from a cup of qua in front of me, started from the beginning. When I told them Gar intended to blow up the bunker with himself in it, Ward slammed his fist onto the table with so much force he left a dent in the surface. I froze, my words stuck in my throat in the face of his anger. He refused to meet my eyes. When Daz urged me to continue, Ward stared off at the far wall motionless.
I soldiered on, leaving out the intimate parts—those had been for Miranda—and explained how Gar had sacrificed himself to lead away the enemy when he found the tracker left by the attacking Rizars.
“I didn’t want him to,” I explained. “He wouldn’t listen to me, and I had no choice to get the controller to you—”
“Of course, he led the enemy away from you,” Ward finally spoke up. “That’s his duty.” He glared at me, and I couldn’t tell if he was angry with me, or with the uncertainty of his brother’s whereabouts. “He’ll always put females first.”
Normally I would have cowered at Ward’s glower, but Gar had changed me. The courage I’d thought fled when he left my side in the forest sparked to life. “And I’ll tell you what I told him. I didn’t ask for him to sacrifice himself for me.”
Ward’s nostrils flared. “It doesn’t matter. What he did is the only choice for a Drixonian warrior.”
I rose from my chair, which still only put me at eye level with Ward. I heard a gasp somewhere in the room, but I was on a tear. “Well maybe we need some revisions on your duties, because how is he putting me first when it killed me to watch him walk away? When I cried the whole way because I felt like he’d ripped my heart out? It’s not putting me first when he’s risking the life of himself, the man I love.” I ended my words on a near growl. When I finished, the entire room descended into loaded silence.
No one moved. Or spoke. Realizing I leaned halfway across the table, nearly in Ward’s face, heat rushed to my face. I sank back down in my seat, and the chair leg creaked. I wanted to crawl into a hole. I’d yelled at Ward and confessed my love for Gar all in one rant. What a freaking day.
Ward didn’t speak for a long time. His gaze flicked to Daz and whatever he saw there had his features softened a fraction before returning to study me. He bent his head in deference, and the action made my spine stiffen. “Forgive me, Naomi. I didn’t know. Gar is—”
“He’s difficult, brave, sweet, and loyal,” I spoke on a near whisper. “He’s all of those things, and he doesn’t deserve his life to end this quickly. Not when he promised me more. He tried to take it back, but I’m not letting him. I’m holding him to his promise of giving me forever.”
Ward’s eyes closed briefly and then he reached his hand out and slowly wrapped his fingers around mine. He squeezed, and offered me a small, genuine smile. “We will get him back,” he said. “And we will hold him to that promise. All of us.” After another squeeze, he lifted his head and nodded at Daz.
Daz nodded back, and something passed between them, some understanding, that I didn’t understand, but felt was important.
Nero cleared his throat. “Naomi, you said you know where Gar’s bike is?”
I nodded. “He hid it near the clearing where the bunker is located.”
He grinned. “I’ve been working on something. I tested it a few times, and just recently installed it on all your bikes. If we can find Gar’s bike, there is a locator signal that will tell us where he is. It works the other
way too, in case we lose our bikes. I haven’t been able to connect it to a third-party yet, as in I can’t access the signal on my tablet, but—”
“Did you do this without telling us?” Ward asked.
“I mentioned it to you several rotations ago, but all your eyes glaze over when I talk so you probably didn’t even hear me. Check your belts. There’s a button on the clasp. The locator signal connects to your comm and fortunately for us,” he held up a comm and wiggled it, “We have Gar’s.”
“Find his bike and find Gar.” Xavy clapped his hands together and stood up. “Let’s do it.”
I jumped to my feet, eager to do something rather than sit in this room. “Yeah, let’s do it!” I pumped a fist in the air.
All the warriors stared at me. “Naomi, you’re not coming,” Ward frowned.
I whirled on him, completely forgetting our earlier truce. “What do you mean? I have to show you where his bike is.”
“You can show us. Draw a diagram—”
“No,” I crossed my arms over my chest. “I’m coming. And since you can’t read my brain with your fancy techy stuff, you have no choice.” I lifted my chin in the air, prepared for a standoff. “And time’s wasting, so there’s no point in arguing.”
Xavy stared at me. “Seriously, what happened to you out there?”
“Gar happened,” I said, turning on my heel to march to the door. I placed my hand on the knob. “So, who’s bike am I on? I’m ready to find my man.”
For a beat, no one moved, then Daz rose and all the other warriors followed suit. He pointed at me. “I’m allowing this but let me make it clear. You listen to us during our search. None of this attitude out there because it can get you or one of us killed. Understand?”
I nodded, feeling contrite. “Yes, Daz. I’m sorry.”
“I’m letting this slide because I know you want Gar back. We all do.” He nodded at Ward. “If she’s coming along, then we’re taking a full formation. Bring along some Blue Bloods and Great Welfs. Put the rest on standby in case we need reinforcements. We’re heading into a hot zone full of Uldani and Kulks. I won’t be outnumbered.”
