“Hey, John. Thanks for coming,” she says, greeting the plain clothes officer wearing a sport jacket. His salt-and-pepper hair is clipped high and tight, and he carries a few too many pounds around his middle.
He dips in and kisses her on the cheek. “You’re lucky I was close by. Plus, you know I’d do anything for Kitty’s little sister.” He glances down at my dad, who lies moaning on the ground, and points. “I presume this is the douche bag who attacked you both?”
John turns to the uniform as he walks past. “Cuff this jackwad, Curt, and get him outta here.”
Jillian catches my eye. “Hey, John. This is Raine . . . my partner. Raine, this is Detective John Henshaw.” My heart swells with pride, and I give a half-smile. After the disaster with those people at dinner, Jillian asked if she could use “partner” instead of “boyfriend,” saying it felt more adult to her. I told her I was cool with it.
She glances over at my dad, still in a daze as he’s being hauled out. I landed a great right hook, if I do say so myself. “And that’s his father. I’ll pull the disk from the security system so you can view the entire incident.”
John turns to me with a friendly smile and an extended hand. “Nice to meet you. Wish it were under better circumstances.”
“Pleasure,” I say before turning to Jillian with pleading eyes. “I’m going to hit the shower if you don’t need me.”
“Go ahead. I’ll get John the security disks so he can take them into evidence.”
John waves his hand at me. “No worries, Raine. You and Jillian can come downtown later to make a statement.”
I nod gratefully and head to the stairs. I take them one painful step at a time.
It’s not until I shed my clothes and turn on the shower that I start to shake uncontrollably.
Chapter 31
Jillian
“JILLY, I DIDN’T REALIZE you liked ’em so young,” John says, wiggling his eyebrows at me once we’re inside my office.
I purse my lips and give him a good-natured shove. “Don’t start with me. He’s not that young. Well, maybe he is. But I don’t care. He’s really good to me and that’s what counts.”
“You’re into assaulting detectives, too, I see,” he says, wearing a broad grin.
“Only when it’s warranted,” I say and grab the CD from the disk recorder located inside my closet. Robert installed the security system a decade ago after a crazy client had stalked him. He bought me a Beretta, which I keep locked inside my desk drawer, and a Glock for himself, which is in my bedside table. John trained us both on how to use and maintain them.
“How’s Kitten?” he asks shyly. John and Kitty were high school sweethearts, but Kitty broke his heart when she married Bob. John later married, but then divorced. Even after all these years, I still see the love he has for her in his eyes.
I hand him the disk and smile sadly. “She’s been much better since the wake.”
He grabs my arm. “What wake? Who died?”
My eyebrows knit together. “Aunt Vera. The memorial service is Saturday. Didn’t Kitty contact you?”
John’s face folds, and he shakes his head. “No. Jilly, I’m so sorry. Where’s the service? I’d like to pay my respects.”
“St. Theresa’s. Ten a.m.,” I say, disappointed that Kitty forgot to tell him. I wonder whether it was intentional.
John pushes the painting aside and sits on the edge of my desk. His eyes size me up. “And how are you, Jillian? How are you really doing?”
I shrug and release a sigh as I drop into a chair facing my desk. “On one hand, fantastic and never been better. On the other, one step away from losing it.” I look down to study my hands. My calm cracks and I realize how close I was to pulling the trigger on another human being. “If I had seen him punch Raine one more time, I would have shot him, John. I swear I would’ve.”
“What was he even doing here? Fathers don’t come and randomly beat the crap out of their adult kids.”
I shake my head. “I really don’t know why he came here today.” I glance at the painting, but I’m not convinced retrieving it was the end game. All that did was lead him here. He wanted something else. “He shouted something about a ring that he needed back, thinking maybe Raine gave it to me . . . I don’t know.”
John crosses his arms. “Your boyfriend has some older bruising on his face. How did he get it?”
I snort. “More work done compliments of his father. The man has a history of drinking and violence. Ten days ago, I picked Raine up from the hospital after his father cold-cocked him, giving him a severe concussion and broken ribs. I asked him to move in with me after that so he would have a safe place to stay. Supposedly, that was the first incident since he moved out when he was eighteen.” As far as I know.
John purses his lips and narrows his eyes. “You love him, don’t you?”
I nod, unable to avoid acknowledging what is so obvious. The truth is that I don’t want to hide it anymore, so I look him straight in the eye and confess. “More than I have a right to.”
John smiles and nods his approval. “Good. Love is good. Don’t waste it.”
“That coming from an old curmudgeon like you?”
“Hey, don’t let it get around.” He gets up and waves the disk at me on his way to the door. “I’ll make sure this gets in the right hands. In the interim, let me see what else I can dig up on this clown. I’ll file a restraining order for good measure.”
“Thanks. We’ll be down in an hour or so.”
“How’s your book going?” he asks when he reaches the entrance.
I shrug, and run my fingers through my hair. “If I don’t pick up the pace, you might have a homicide on your hands when Brigitte kills me.” I’m only half joking.
He chuckles. “She’s a tough one, that Brigitte.”
“Either way, I should have some preliminary research questions ready for you in about two weeks,” I say.
“I look forward to it. See you later, Jilly.” He hesitates and then says, “Tell Kitten ‘hi’ for me, will ya?”
I beam at him. “You know I will, and thanks for everything.”
As soon as the door shuts, I race upstairs and follow the sound of running water. The bathroom shower is filled with steam when I crack open the door. An alarm triggers inside me when I see Raine huddled in the corner of the walk-in shower with his arms wrapped around his legs. My stomach lurches. I strip naked as fast as I can.
“Raine?” My fingers graze his arm, and I drop down onto my knees next to him. The water cascades down over us. He lifts his head, and his eyes connect with mine. The look inside them is raw and wild. A wet clump of hair hangs down next to his cheek; I push it away from his face. He takes my hand and presses my palm to his lips a moment before he leans forward and wraps his arms around me, almost crushing me with his strength. His lips take mine. Urgent and hungry. The tiny stone tiles dig into my knees, but I don’t care. His fingers firmly press me closer to him until there’s no room left between us. The water wraps us in wet warmth, and I sip some of it as we kiss.
He pulls me onto my feet, and within seconds he’s fully erect against my belly. My body responds instinctively. My core clenches in anticipation, flooding the juncture of my thighs with heat and preparing me to welcome him.
With his eyes half-closed, he whispers hoarsely, “I need you, Jillian.” His lips seek out my jaw, devouring a trail down to the tender skin of my neck. “I need this,” he growls, and steps behind me, pulling me back against the hard planes of his chest and his throbbing erection. I crave this raw passion between us. I know exactly what he needs, because I need it, too. I need to cleanse myself and exorcise the ugliness and feelings of rage that I experienced earlier. I can do that with Raine—we can do that for each other.
A primal urge drives me to spread my legs and rest my cheek against the tile wall. With my hands to support me, I arch back and offer myself to him. I hunger to feel his strength inside me.
His hands curl around my
hips from behind, and he opens me with his thick head. In one thrust, he plunges deep, letting out a guttural roar as he enters. He thrusts into me with a wild abandon that he’s never had before and utters my name between impassioned groans.
I push back into him, meeting his punishing rhythm stroke for stroke, enjoying the wet, delicious friction.
Without warning, he slows his thrusts and covers my back with his chest. Wrapping his arms around me, he pulls me up into a standing position against him. His length swells and fills me, rooted there inside me. He leans his chin on my shoulder. His breath comes in ragged gasps against my cheek.
“Jillian . . .” he says, and lets out a husky sigh. His lips tenderly touch the base of my neck, and his movements inside me turn to a stroking caress. With a groan, he eases himself out, and turns me to face him. I whimper at his abandonment.
His eyes reflect a purposeful intensity, and he cups my cheeks gently as he kisses me deeply, exploring my mouth and taking possession. When he pulls away again, he presses his forehead to mine. His fingers weave into my hair, and I shut my eyes to keep out the water that’s streaming down my face in small rivers.
“Jillian . . . I love you,” he whispers.
My heart skips a beat and my eyes flutter open to meet his gaze. For a second, my breath catches in my throat.
His words hang suspended between us.
I rest my hands on his chest, and set my heart free. “I love you, too, Raine.”
He closes his eyes, and crushes me in an embrace. “Oh, Jillian . . .”
My heart squeezes. I take him in my hand and glide my fist over his throbbing length. “Let me show you how much,” I whisper, and kiss his lower lip.
His eyes open and flare with desire. He dips down and flexes his arms underneath my thighs, lifting me. “Wrap your legs around me,” he says hoarsely.
I cross my ankles in the hollow at the small of his back, opening myself for him to enter. He presses my back against the chilly tile in the corner of the shower. Using the wall as leverage, he lowers me onto his erection until he’s buried deep. He lets out a hiss, and his fingers sink deeper into my thighs as he moves me in tandem with his thrusts. I moan at the delicious feel of him filling me.
His rhythm is fast and urgent. A groan rises from his throat, and his lips find mine. He moves us away from the wall, so that we’re freestanding, and plays my body like a Stradivarius. The precision of his movements stroke my core, and I feel the rising tide of my release.
He throws back his head, and grits his teeth. “Come for me, Jillian.”
I tip over the edge. “Raine!”
“I feel you.” He shuts his eyes and thrusts harder. His face contorts, and he loses himself in the chase. When he cries out, his expression turns to ecstasy and his body pulses in time with mine. He backs us up into the wall, and collapses against me. My muscles quake as I unlock my legs from his around hips and slide down along his body.
He draws me closer, breathing hard against my ear. “If he had hurt you—”
“Shh,” I say into his shoulder and hug him tight. The adrenaline rush from earlier begins to ebb, leaving my muscles weak and shaky. I hate to let reality ruin our moment, but we have an appointment downtown. “We’ll talk about it later,” I whisper. “I told John we’d be there in a little while.”
Raine shudders against me before he lets me go and reaches for the hand shower. He rinses us and shuts off the water.
Within five minutes, I’m toweled dry and digging in my closet for something to wear while Raine gets ready in the guest room.
A smile touches my lips from the delicious ache that remains between my legs, a pleasant reminder not only of our encounter but of the words we exchanged.
I turn and stare at the empty side of my walk-in closet and sigh. It’s time to see some clothes on that side, not to mention filling the other side of my bed. I’ve slept with Raine for the last three nights, but always in the guest room. I realize what I need to do to complete my surrender.
When I’m done dressing, I find him in the kitchen at the island having a snack.
He points to a plate with a sandwich on whole grain. “I figured you might be hungry, so I made that for you,” he says, then takes a large bite from his.
“Thanks.” I smile, and pull up the stool next to him. “What do you think about moving into my room?” I say, and pick up my sandwich.
“I’d love it,” he says, wide-eyed.
I finish chewing. “Good. You can move your stuff in when we get back.”
He hooks his arm around my neck, and pulls me close enough to kiss the side of my head. “That means a lot to me, Jillian.”
I brush a piece of his damp, tawny hair behind his ear. He’s stopped wearing it back, knowing I like it loose. My gaze locks onto his. “I know it does.”
“I hope you don’t get sick of hearing this, because I’m going to keep saying it—I love you.” His eyes shine such a bright blue. I don’t think I’ve ever seen such a beautiful pair of eyes. Maybe it’s the love in them that gives them their beauty, or maybe it’s just because they belong to Raine.
“I love you, too, Raine.” I cup his smooth cheek and sigh. “It’s impossible for me not to love you.” I surrender to the truth inside those words.
He takes my free hand and places his lips against my knuckles. His eyes never leave mine during the kiss. “You make me feel so good about myself, you know that?”
That he doesn’t feel good about himself to begin with practically breaks my heart. He’s blind to his own value sometimes. I’m committed to helping him find it and never doubt it again. When I look at Raine, I see a talented and loving man. And I don’t see Drew, not anymore.
I shake my head. “You have a lot to be proud of. Don’t ever let anyone take that away from you.”
He kisses me lightly on the lips in response and settles back onto his stool. A moment later, he says softly, “I think I know where I want to hang the painting.”
“Where’s that?”
He takes a deep breath, and holds my gaze. “Robert’s office.”
I nod. “It would be perfect there. There’s just one thing.”
His shoulders stiffen. “What’s that?”
“It’s your office now.”
He relaxes next to me and his lips caress mine.
Kissing Raine sustains me in a way I’ve never thought possible. I push away the fear that taunts me, telling me that I won’t be able to keep him. That someday he’ll leave me. That someday I’ll experience something worse than another funeral. But for now, I force down the fear and give myself permission to put my heart at risk. I release my passion, and let myself drown in Raine for today.
Carpe Diem.
Chapter 32
Jillian
“ASHES TO ASHES, dust to dust . . .” The priest delivers the passage that Vera selected years ago when she planned her own funeral.
Her ashes sit on a pedestal at the front of the church encased in a shiny silver urn that Kitty and I picked out. Classic and beautiful, just like Vera.
Raine stands tall next to me in a black suit with his hair neatly tied back. His fingers are entwined tightly with mine. I take solace in his strength. He leans in and whispers, “Are you doing okay?”
I nod, clutching a wet tissue in my hand. He’s checked in with me three times since I survived delivering the eulogy with Kitty earlier, and I don’t mind.
We stand next to Kitty, Bob, and Jenny. At the end of the aisle is my Aunt Sue who is my mother’s and Vera’s younger sister, and the only living relative from my mom’s immediate family. She flew up from Florida yesterday and is staying for the weekend. The rest of the cavernous church is filled with Aunt Vera’s senior citizens group, and the many families whose children she taught as one of the longest-tenured Sunday school teachers at St. Theresa’s. John is sitting in the back. I spotted him earlier when I was at the podium.
My stomach aches as loss fills the center. The finality of knowing I�
��ll never hear my Aunt Vera laugh in that girly giggle she had, or watch her face light up as she tells me about all the “sexy bits” in the latest romance novel she read, or eat her apple cake, or cry on her shoulder, I feel more alone in the world with her gone.
I squeeze Raine’s hand. He pulls me in front of him so that he can shelter me inside his arms.
As the final hymn ends, our row exits to the back of the church, and we form a receiving line for the mourners to file past and give their condolences. Raine stands silently next to me at the end of the line.
Like an automaton, I shake hands and receive kisses from people I know, and some that I don’t. Some I met at the wake, some I didn’t. Raine slips me new tissues as I need them.
John finally comes at the tail end of the procession of guests. Most of them have already scattered and gone to their cars. Only our immediate family, and Raine, will travel down to the beach house to transport Aunt Vera’s ashes. Kitty and I will spread them after dark, once the beach is clear of tourists and sunbathers.
John greets Aunt Sue and then stops in front of Kitty. He gives Bob only a cursory glance.
“Kitten, I’m so sorry for your loss,” he says. Bob steps away, half to give them privacy and half to hide his jealousy. I’ve watched this same dance happen many times over the years.
John’s mouth is grim, but his eyes are kind when they rest on Kitty. He takes her hands in his and squeezes. She smiles sadly. “Thank you for coming, John. Vera was very fond of you.”
I watch all the unspoken dialogue pass between them through their eyes. Kitty saying she’s sorry and that she’ll always love him, John telling her he’ll never forget her and will always love her, too. I wish I knew the details of why Kitty made the choice she made, but even after all these years, she won’t discuss it.
John leans in and gives her a kiss on the cheek, and tears glistens in Kitty’s eye as she closes them for a moment at the touch of his lips. I suspect her tears aren’t just related to Vera.
John clears his throat when he pulls away and moves to Jenny for a hug. “Sorry for your loss, Jenny dear.”
Caught Up In Raine Page 18
