by Anna Edwards
“Fuck that. I’m hiring Yivi instead,” Cameron groans.
I smirk. “Don’t get me involved. I’d be the same as Zoey. After all, I’m learning from her how to keep you all out of mischief.”
The rest of the band erupts into loud laughter, and the other diners in the room stare at us. Tate holds his hand up to say sorry.
Liam looks down at me. “I know you’re working to get your GED, but what would you like to do afterward? When we go back to normal life, if you can call it that.”
“I don’t think I can think about a career at the moment. I’ve still so much to learn. I’m sure something will come to me eventually. I need to discover what normal life is like first. I’ve only ever spent my time with you traveling. I’ve never stayed in the same place with you for any length of time.” I pick up my fork and push in another little mouthful of my breakfast. “You guys live so closely together on tour, is it hard going back to living in your own homes and not seeing each other?”
I can’t imagine them all not being in the same room. It shocked me when Liam told me that, even though they live near each other, they don’t live in the same house when off tour. I was certain they lived on some sort of commune together, like I used to live with my family.
“When we get home, we’re glad to be rid of each other,” Austin immediately interjects with a chuckle. “No, seriously, we do try to take a break from each other and catch up with other people for the first week, but it normally fails, and we end up getting together most nights. We’re so used to being with each other. We’re like brothers, and it feels like losing a limb when the others aren’t there.”
“Has your relationship been affected by Zoey and I coming aboard?” I’m in an inquiring mood this morning.
“No, not at all. All we’ve done is welcome two sisters into our oddball family,” Cameron answers.
“Zoey had to leave us for a bit when we were on tour in Europe. It felt wrong without her being there with us, and when Tate followed her home, we joined him shortly after. We’ve added the dates we missed onto the end of the tour, but we couldn’t be there without her,” Liam explains to me. “I know I’d feel exactly the same without you. I’m too used to you being around.”
“And getting your dick sucked on demand,” Austin jokes. Liam picks up a raspberry from my plate and flicks it at his friend. “Seriously, Yivi, we’d all feel the same if you disappeared. We’re the six musketeers.”
“Weren’t there only three?” Tate looks confused.
“They’ve multiplied.” Cameron chuckles and waves his coffee cup at the waitress again. She shrugs at him, her hands full of plates.
The entire restaurant has been booked exclusively for the band this morning. However, there are lots of people present with all the roadies and invited guests. Even though a buffet breakfast has been laid out, the staff are still rushed off their feet. The entourage that travels with the band is enormous.
I get up from my seat and move around the table to take Cameron’s cup from him.
“I’ll get you some more from the self-service bar.”
“See, this is why I like having Yivi with us. She brings me coffee,” Cameron jokes as I walk over to where several guests are queuing to get drinks. I join them and wait my turn. I could probably line jump, but it won’t hurt Cameron to wait a few more moments.
Without turning around, I can sense other people have joined the line behind me. The restaurant must be making a fortune off the band eating here.
“You’ve certainly changed since the last time I saw you, Harmony Ward.” I instantly recognize the voice. My body tenses, as the deep tone of the Leader of Serendipity Falls comes from behind me. “Don’t turn around, keep facing forward. You make a scene, and I’ll make sure I tell everyone where you’ve come from, what a little whore you’ve become, and how you’ve abandoned your family to certain death because you refused to marry and provide for them.”
“I’m not going b-back,” I stutter. “I’m married to Liam. It’s legal, and we’ve consummated the relationship.”
“I know. I saw it in the news yesterday. I took the first flight here. Awful things planes—they’re the invention of the Devil. Man is not supposed to be in the air, flying is for the birds only. It’s put me in a foul mood.”
“What do you want?” I can’t turn around. I know I can’t look at him, because if I do, I’ll scream. I’ll make a scene, and he’ll ruin me in Liam’s eyes. I know this man and his sadistic streak. I’ve no secrets to hide from Liam. I’ve told him everything, but the Leader is an intelligent man. He’ll twist and turn the truth to suit himself. I grip tightly to the coffee cup—the china is under so much pressure in my hand I fear it may shatter.
“You’ve landed on your feet. I have to say that, and I think your good fortune should benefit those who looked after you for twenty years. Don’t you?”
“I don’t know what you mean?” I’m not sure how I’m maintaining my composure. I’m terrified.
“You’re married to a man who’s worth millions. I’ve been watching you, and he adores you. I want some of that money. You have a week to get me half a million dollars to buy your freedom. If you get it, I won’t contact you again. After that date, if you fail, I’ll talk to the press about you and paint a very different picture from the adoring wife you want to portray. And, Harmony, if you talk to anyone about this, I will snatch you back when you least expect it. You will live the remainder of your life in the hole—however long or short a time that will be. You’re one of them now, and we don’t deal with devils. I won’t have you poison the righteous people you left behind because of your selfishness.”
“I c-can’t,” I stutter. “I don’t even understand money?”
No answer comes from behind me as I move up to be first in the line for coffee. I spin around, but he’s gone, vanished into thin air. I can’t even see him in the restaurant.
“Miss, are you getting a drink?” the lady behind me asks, and I start to wonder if I imagined it all.
I pour the coffee into Cameron’s cup. My hands are still shaking so much I don’t fill it right to the brim. I know it will spill if I do. I take a few deep breaths and make my way back to the table, gripping tightly to the coffee cup as I look around for any sign of the Leader. Have I gone mad? Surely I must have been dreaming? Maybe it was a sugar high?
I place Cameron’s coffee down on the table. He looks up at me, “Did they run out, or am I on a caffeine diet?”
I look down at the cup and realize it’s only half full. “I’m sorry. There was a long queue of people behind me, and I wanted to leave some for the others.” I don’t hear his reply as I return to my seat in a bit of a dream.
Just as I’m about to sit down, a figure outside the window catches my eye. It’s the Leader. He places his finger to his lips, willing me into silence before he disappears.
He was real.
I’m in big trouble.
I sit down in my seat, not hearing what is being said around me. A terrible feeling of sickness settles in my stomach. I push my seat back quickly and make a run for the bathroom where I promptly bring up the contents of my heavenly breakfast. Every mouthful seems like a sin now. I was stupid to think I’d ever be free of my past. I’m a stupid, selfish girl who doesn’t deserve a better life.
Chapter 21
Liam
#WeAreTheMotherFuckingBestBandEver
It’s been two days since Yivi vomited in the restaurant, and she hasn’t been the same since. She’s become withdrawn and quiet, and I’m worried about her. I even had Zoey give her a pregnancy test just in case we messed up during the first time we had sex and were now expecting, but it came out negative.
All I can assume is she’s caught a bug, and it’s taking a little longer to get over than normal. I guess that’s to be expected as she’s been sheltered from the real world most of her life. She’s probably not had the plethora of childhood diseases most of us have been subjected to. If she’s not better
by tomorrow morning, I’ll take her to the doctors to get her checked out.
“Are you coming to the concert?” I ask Yivi as she lies on her bunk, reading a book.
Tonight the band are performing in Alabama.
“Of course, why wouldn’t I?” she replies, trying to smile at me, but it doesn’t reach her eyes.
“If you’re still feeling bad, you can stay here and rest. No one will mind.”
She shakes her head. “I’m feeling better today. Just a little tired. I’ll go, and if I feel bad, I’ll come back to the bus.”
“Make sure you get a guard to accompany you. You aren’t to be alone. My detail would be the best choice. I can always double up with the others if necessary.”
“I will.” Yivi looks at the time on her phone. “I hadn’t realized it was time to go. I’m sorry.” She jumps out of bed, and I see she’s already dressed for the concert.
I’m a little happier knowing she feels well enough to come with me tonight. Hopefully it means she’s getting better. I take her hand and bring her to me for a kiss.
“It’s good to see you smiling.”
“I’m sorry.” Yivi’s eyes well with tears.
“Why are you apologizing?”
“Because I worry you so much.”
“Don’t ever apologize for that. I worry about you because I love you.”
“We should go. You’ll be late, and Tate will give your balls to Zoey as earrings,” Yivi repeats the phrase Tate threatened me with earlier. “And I kind of like them attached to your body.”
“Don’t worry, I like them there as well.”
I help Yivi down the steps of the bus, and we greet a few fans who couldn’t get tickets for the concert.
“I’ll be back to sign autographs later,” I tell them, and they cheer and part like the sea in the story of Moses, allowing us to walk through the middle of them toward the venue.
The opening act has finished, and the crew has swapped around the instruments. One of them hands me a new set of sticks. I’m renowned for breaking them. I kiss Yivi on the top of the head before falling silent as the beats in my head take over. I do a quick mental run down of the set list, identifying any solos I have and where I need to go fast or slow.
The lights start to twirl around the stage before going dark. Tate, Austin, Cameron, and I are in a line, and we run to take up our positions. I place my sticks on the drum and count the beat in my head, ready to start. We all come in within a few bars of each other until finally Tate strides purposefully across the stage, singing at the top of his voice.
Water flows deep under the bridge of my soul,
A torrent of emotions twisting to bring me pain,
For I’m a demented devil in disguise,
A plague on the society welcoming me into their world.
No death, no feeling,
In my core I’m numb,
Bring me back to life.
Fire’s rage in the vessel I’ve become,
Twisting me into a bitter pill to swallow,
My mind is never fucking silent,
It’s corrupt against all feelings of hope.
No death, no feeling,
In my core I’m numb,
Bring me back to life.
The air is heavy with the blackness of the night
Promises to myself left to fly away forever,
I can’t be this person anymore,
I want to soar around a world full of love.
No death, no feeling,
In my core I’m numb,
Bring me back to life.
The earth grounds me to the plains of existence,
It gives the feeling of belonging to someone,
But I’m scared of what follows behind me,
One day I’ll be able to enjoy all of you in paradise.
No death, no feeling,
In my core I’m numb,
Bring me back to life.
Bring me back to life.
Tate wrote this song during a particularly difficult time for him after his sister’s death. He was in a very dark place, and I know this song talks about his depression. It was one of our very first hits and resonated with a lot of people. We received so many letters, emails, and social media interactions, thanking us for giving them hope. I’m glad he wrote it.
Maybe Yivi’s right, and I should see if Tate needs any help with song writing if I’m developing a way with words. One day the lyrics I write could be the difference between someone surviving a tough time or not. I’m so glad we have that sort of influence with our music.
“We’re going to speed things up a bit now. Liam, are you ready?” Tate asks, and I hit the drums at a frantic pace. Even though I’ve got a fan blowing directly on me and I’m wearing a sleeveless t-shirt and jeans, I’m already sweating buckets after the first song. The drummer fitness program is the best ever for looking good.
Tate counts us in, and we launch into one of our more edgy songs, during which I have a solo. My head gets lost in the music, my body dancing as I play to the crowd, and I sing along with Tate into the microphone when required. The piece in my ear allows me to hear myself individually as well as the band as a whole.
It reaches the middle of the song, and I’m just about to launch into my solo when I look over to where Yivi is standing, to get a smile of encouragement from her, but she isn’t there. All I can see is my bodyguard. The man Yivi was supposed to take with her if she left the concert.
Worry instantly flitters through me, and I miss a note. To an untrained ear, it doesn’t sound bad. To me, it’s completely off. Cameron must hear it as he looks at me confused. I don’t miss beats. It’s bragging, but I am that good. He must see where my attention’s been drawn because he glances over to the spot where Yivi should be. Tate now turns to face me as Cameron repeats his last set of chords, and Austin automatically follows.
There’s a part of me that wants to run from the stage and check on Yivi to make sure she’s all right, but I know the band will kill me if I do.
Cameron makes his way toward Tate and must tell him what’s going on. Tate raises his eyebrow and looks across at Zoey. I know he feels my dilemma as well. If the shoe was on the other foot, he would want to go after her, but we can’t keep letting the fans down. Yivi’s had a bug, and she’s probably tired.
Reluctantly, I grip my sticks harder and launch into the drum solo when Cameron and Austin finish their repeat. Tate normally rocks out when I play, but out of the corner of my eye, I see him walking off stage. Zoey hands him a towel, and he wipes his face with it before saying something to her. I come to the end of my solo, and Tate returns to the stage and starts singing. Zoey winks at me and runs off with my bodyguard following her.
We all continue to play while Tate sings. Cameron comes up to me, and as he does, he moves his microphone away from his mouth.
“I know that was the hardest thing you’ve ever done. She’ll be all right. Zoey will check on her and get back to us,” he reassures me.
“I get the love hurts bit now,” I reply, feeling my heart heavy in my chest.
“So never happening to me.” Cameron chuckles as he struts away, and we launch into the next song.
This is probably going to be the longest concert ever. I love my music, but I also love my wife. Why does everything have to be so difficult?
Chapter 22
Yivi
#PleaseLetMeGoItsTheOnlyWay
I hated leaving Liam’s side, but I couldn’t listen to the words of their song any longer. It made me feel like a fraud. I was the devil in the song. I have to get away. It’s the only way to avoid being found by the Leader again and destroying Liam’s life with the ghosts of my past.
My heart is breaking.
I can barely see through the tears running down my face as I grab a couple of the belongings Liam has given me and put them into a bag. I always said I’d leave with nothing, but some of these little presents mean so much.
Liam gave me a band t-shi
rt at the first concert, and all the guys signed the back. I need that with me. I have to keep a part of them alongside me. Zoey bought me this really nice planner with stickers. I’ve absolutely no use for it on the run, but I can’t bear to part with it either. The things I’m taking are my memories. They aren’t practical. They’re reminders of my family who I’m going to miss so much. My bunk has pictures of me and Liam on it. I should leave them behind, but I can’t. I pull a few of my favorites off and tuck them into the bag.
I’m still wearing the jewelry Liam’s given me. Taking it off, I place it on his bunk, along with the note I wrote earlier, begging him not to search for me, because I don’t want to be found.
I can hardly breathe.
I feel sick again.
I’m not sure I have the strength to get through this, but then I remember the Leader’s voice in my head. He’ll make me a devil in Liam’s eyes, the bad person in all of this, and I can’t bear the thought of Liam hating me. I love him too much. That’s why this hurts so badly.
Bending over at my waist, I try to get some air into my lungs as I pop a teddy bear Liam purchased for me into the bag. It’s such a silly little thing—a souvenir from Seattle, his home. I’ve no clothes other than the ones I’m wearing and the Saving Tate t-shirt. I’ve no underwear, and no food.
No money.
I pull the wallet out of my bag. I have some cash in it and a card Liam gave me should I need it. I can’t take it with me. It’s his, and I won’t take anything from him. I didn’t trick Liam into this marriage for financial gain, in spite of some of the things I’ve seen written about me.
