by Bella Jewel
“He ... he ... he ...”
“Breathe, Baylee, and tell me what’s wrong.”
“He was in my house. He left a note.”
“Fuck. Fuck. Don’t move. Lock the doors. We’ll be right there.”
He hangs up the phone, and I lower myself down, pressing my back against the counter, too terrified to move. Every single noise has my heart launching out of my chest and my tears falling harder. Only when I hear the rumble of Harley Davidson’s coming to a stop outside my apartment do I feel even remotely better. I take a deep, staggering breath and push to my feet to let them in when they knock.
“Show me the note,” Maddox says the second he steps through the door followed by Krypt and Tyke.
With trembling fingers, I hand over the small, folded piece of paper. Maddox glances down at it, his eyes scanning over the page, then he looks up. “You checked the rest of the house?” he asks me, eyes kind but firm.
“I was too afraid,” I whisper, my voice too shaky to use. “I didn’t want to move.”
“Good call,” he murmurs, nodding to Krypt and Tyke who move away instantly and start walking through the house. “Is the pregnant girl still here?”
“Yes, she’s sleeping. She seems unharmed. I don’t think he touched her when he came in or she even knows he was here, which means he was after me and me only.”
“That’s what I’m worried about. Go and wake her up, pack a bag, you’re coming to the club. However this creep got into your house, he did it slipping past us and I’m not comfortable with that, at all. So, get the girl, pack up; I need you both somewhere I can protect you properly until I find this guy.”
“But ...” I say, my panic setting in. “Jack.”
Maddox’s eyes hold mine, and they’re gentle, but I know whatever he’s about to say is going to leave room for no argument. “He needs to know now. You’re not safe. He has that right.”
Dammit.
Maddox is right, Jack does deserve to know. I know he’ll be upset at me, though. I should have told him from the start, but I didn’t. He deserved that trust from me and I didn’t give it. Now I’m in danger, and his club is not only going to have to protect me, but they’re going to have to put me up in their clubhouse, too.
“Okay,” I say, because it’s the only thing I can say. Maddox is right, and he knows it.
“Go and wake the girl, get your things together. We’ll make sure you’re safe, Baylee. I promise you that.”
I nod, and with a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach, I turn and move down the hall, knees shaking with every step. I reach Rae’s door, pushing it open. She’s already out of bed and glancing around groggily, no doubt having heard the noise of the bikers stomping around the apartment. “What’s going on, Baylee?” she asks, rubbing her eyes.
“York was here.”
Her eyes widen, and for a moment, I think she might actually cry, but she gets it together. “Here, as in this house?”
I nod. “While you were asleep, Rae. He left a note. He’s found us. We need to go with Maddox to the clubhouse where we’ll be safe.”
She’s already shaking her head. “No. I’m not going to some dirty clubhouse with a bunch of bikers.”
“Rae,” I say, rubbing my temples. “Now is not the damned time to argue.”
“I don’t have to go,” she says, crossing her arms. “I won’t.”
“Yeah, you fuckin’ will.”
I spin around to see Krypt at the door, his big body filling the frame. Rae’s eyes get wide. Krypt isn’t as big as Maddox, but he’s got an edge about him that tells you not to mess with him. He’s scary. He crosses his arms, eyeing Rae. I wonder if she’ll argue with him, but he doesn’t really give her the chance. He keeps talking.
“We can do this the easy way or the hard way. The easy way bein’ you walk your ass out of here, drop the fuckin’ attitude, and be grateful someone is willing to look after you. Then there’s the hard way, where I will drag you out, kicking and fucking screaming, and believe me, I’ve dealt with men four times the size of you. What’s it going to be?”
Rae packs her bags without further argument.
I’m glad, because I don’t think I have it in me to deal with her right now.
No, the road ahead feels like it’s going to be a long one, and my focus needs to be on that.
On getting us safe, so we don’t fall in his hands again.
I will not go back into the dragons’ lair.
No.
This time I’ll fight if I have to. But I will not go back.
CHAPTER 26
NOW – BAYLEE
“What?” Jack asks, his eyes swinging to me, his voice hurt. “You’re name isn’t even Baylee. What the hell is it? Who are you?”
“My birth name is Madison, I had to change it for protection. So, my name is Baylee now. It always will be.”
I want to shrink into myself; I’m horrified that he’s finding out like this. I should have told him, I know that now, but at the time I honestly thought I was doing the right thing. But seeing him standing here in front of me, looking so betrayed, makes my heart ache. I didn’t want this. I trust Jack more than any person in the world.
“I’m sorry, Jack,” I say again, softly, standing beside Maddox.
“That’s not even the worst of it. You’ve been in danger and you didn’t tell me?”
I can’t look him in the eye.
“Look at me, Baylee, or Maddie, or whatever the hell your name is,” he growls.
He’s angry.
I’ve never heard him angry.
“Jack, she did the right thing coming to us,” Maddox says. “You would have gone off, and you know it.”
“I would have, yeah, but I would have calmed down because she,” he jabs a finger in my direction, “means more to me than fuckin’ losing my mind.”
Oh. God.
I made a huge mistake.
“She was afraid.”
“She should have come to me.”
Jack doesn’t look at me when he spits those words. Instead, he turns and disappears out of the room. “Jack!” I call after him, but Maddox takes hold of my arm carefully.
“Let him go, he’ll cool down. If you chase him now, it’ll only end up in an argument. Trust me. Go and unpack your things, make sure Rae is doin’ okay, and then go and find him.”
I keep staring at the empty door Jack just disappeared out of. “He’s so hurt. I should have told him.”
“That depends on who you ask,” Maddox grumbles. “He’s overreacting because his pride is hurt. I get that, I’ve felt that, but he will calm down.”
I hope so.
I’ll be so devastated if I’ve hurt him badly.
“I’ll go and check on Rae,” I say, my voice shaky.
“We’re going to get to the bottom of this. Swear it. Try and breathe easy. You’re safe here.”
I nod, my mouth in a tight line, and then I turn and move down the hall towards the small room at the end where Rae and I have been set up to sleep until this has been sorted out. Maddox assures me the clubhouse is fully guarded and there are always people here, so we’re safe. I believe him. I don’t imagine York could get through that many bikers.
“Hey,” I say, stepping into the room where Rae is sitting on the bed, arms crossed.
“I don’t want to be here, Baylee. Seriously.”
One. Two. Three. Four. Five. Six.
I breathe in sharply through my nose, exhaling through my mouth to calm myself. My nerves are on their last straw. I’m not coping, at all. I’m over Rae. I’m over her attitude. I’m over her brother. I have hurt the person who cares about me the most, and I’m scared out of my brain.
“I don’t care what you want, Rae,” I mutter. “You’ll stay here because it’s safe here.”
“I don’t have to do anything. You’ve been trying to keep me locked down for weeks. I’m not your child. I can go out if I want.”
Seven. Eight. Nine. Ten. Eleven.
/> “Yeah, well, right now you’re in danger, and I’ve been helping you for months, keeping you and your baby safe and fed. The least you can do is show me enough respect to do as I’m asking right now.”
“When did you get so high and mighty? I don’t like being told what to do, especially by someone like you. If it wasn’t for you, we would have never been in this situation.”
I can’t.
I just can’t.
I lose it.
“You know what?” I yell, so loudly I scare even myself. My hands fly out in front of me as I continue. “Do whatever the fuck you want, Rae. I’m done with you. I’m done helping you. I’m done being nice to you. It isn’t my fault your brother turned into a drug user, and it certainly isn’t my fault he took his rage out on us, mostly me. I was afraid, but I got you out of there, and I’ve worked my ass off to keep a roof over your head and food in your belly. But for what?”
I’m panting now.
“You’re the most selfish, self-centered brat I’ve ever met. I’m not wasting a single second more on you if you’re not going to start giving something back. Show some damned respect. I don’t care what kind of life you’ve led, I’m not treating you like a fucking piece of shit on my shoe, so I don’t deserve to be treated like that either. So, if you’re going to continue to speak to me like this, then I’m done.”
She stares at me.
She just stares.
Then she stands and snaps, “I do not have to put up with this!”
“Neither. Do. I.”
“Fuck you, Baylee,” she bellows. “You’re ruining my life.”
With that, she turns and storms out of the room. Damn her. Damn it all. I can’t handle her right now. I need to find Jack and tell him I’m sorry, then I’ll deal with Rae. I can’t think. This is all getting to be a little too much. I walk out of the room, ignoring the stares of the bikers that clearly heard me screaming at the young pregnant girl. A twinge of guilt spreads in my chest. Maybe I was too hard on her?
No.
No.
She’s been walking all over me for too long. She needed that.
I exit the house, taking a deep breath of fresh air as I move towards the shed. I open the door when I reach it, peering inside. Jack isn’t in here, so I close the door and continue searching. I find him behind the house sitting on an old fallen down tree, fists clenched in his lap, just staring straight ahead, jaw tight. Taking a shaky breath, I shuffle closer and sit down beside him.
“I’m sorry, Jack.”
It’s the only thing I can think of to say, because what else is there? Jack is hurting, and I’m the cause of that hurt. He deserves an apology from me. He deserves a whole lot more, actually, but right now, that’s the only thing I have to offer. He doesn’t move at my words, he just keeps staring, his chest rising and falling with his heavy breathing.
“It’s not that I didn’t want to tell you,” I try again. “I did. But I was afraid. I didn’t want you to get hurt trying to protect me and ...”
“You didn’t trust me,” he says, his voice low and hurt.
“What? Of course I did,” I say quickly. “Of course I trust you. I didn’t want to see you get hurt, Jack!”
He finally looks to me, and I can see the anger in his eyes. “Because you didn’t trust me. If you trusted me, you would know I’d never put myself in danger. I’d never put you in danger. Sure, I might have gone off, but I would have thought it through, I would have protected you, dammit!”
My heart clenches.
“I didn’t know that. Jack, I know you’re upset, but please ... I thought I was doing the right thing.”
“He could have been there when you got home, Baylee,” he says in a pained, angry voice. “He could have been in that fucking house, and he could have gotten hold of you. I wouldn’t have fucking known. I wouldn’t have even fucking known.”
His voice rises on the last word, and my heart breaks. This is my fault, I know that. I should have told him. I should have given him a chance, at the very least, to prove himself.
“I’m sorry. I am, Jack.”
“I would have protected you. I would have stayed by your side, and I wouldn’t have left. He could have taken you, Baylee.”
My stomach twists, because Jack is right. York could have taken me. If he was still there when I got home, he could have hurt me, or worse. It’s only by sheer luck that I wasn’t there. I don’t think his intentions were to leave a note. I think his intentions were to barge in and make my life a misery. It was only lucky I wasn’t there.
“I know that, and I’m sorry. Please believe that. I feel terrible. I should have told you, and I promise you I’ll always be open with you from now on. Please don’t be angry at me, Jack, because right now I really need you.”
His eyes hold mine, and for a moment, I feel like he’ll stand up and storm away, but he doesn’t. He sighs, dropping his head and staring at the ground for a minute. “I’m angry, but I’m not going to hang onto it. Right now, I need to help make sure you and Rae are safe.”
I nod, but my heart still feels heavy.
“I’m going to go and do that, okay?”
I keep my eyes locked on his. I want to lean forward and wrap my arms around him, or kiss him, but I don’t do either of those things. He needs some time, and I’ll give it to him. “Okay,” I whisper softly.
He nods, standing. For a second, he just stares down at me, then without another word, he turns and disappears.
I let a lone tear roll down my cheek.
This is too much.
I truly wish, for the first time since I met him, that York didn’t exist.
I just wish he didn’t exist.
~*~*~*~
I sit on that log for so long my legs go numb.
I should go and see Rae, I know that, but I need some time to cool down. I can’t handle anymore of her attitude right now.
But still, I care about her or I wouldn’t do what I do. Once I’ve cleared my head, I’ll go and see her. Hopefully, some of my words penetrated. I want to get along with Rae; I want a good life for her. I know it’s not entirely her fault, but I also know she has a choice about how she behaves now, and all I want for her is to see she has control over her life, if she so chooses.
My phone rings in my pocket. It’s a new number, so when I see Rae’s number flash on the screen, I answer it without hesitation. Only a few people have this number. I wonder for a moment why she’s choosing to call me, but then, knowing Rae, she’s probably been told off by an angry biker and is sulking somewhere, wanting me to save her.
“Rae,” I answer, my voice still a little snippy.
“Is that any way to speak to my sister?”
My entire world stops moving.
That voice. I haven’t heard that voice for so long. It sends familiar shivers up my spine, and, for a single moment, I can’t move. I can’t even breathe. My entire body prickles, and my legs start shaking. A reaction I’m all too familiar with.
“Where’s Rae?” I finally ask, my voice barely above a whisper.
How the hell did he get Rae’s phone?
“She’s right here with me. You didn’t think you could escape from me that easily, did you, Maddie?”
Maddie.
I tremble.
Rae was here a not long ago. He’s bluffing. He must be. How could he have gotten hold of her so quickly? The bikers wouldn’t have let her leave, would they?
“You’re lying. Rae is here.”
York laughs, and my spine straightens at the sound.
“Rae, say hello for me.”
A strangled, broken scream can be heard through the phone. Oh. Oh. God.
“Baylee, help me,” she screams. “Please!”
No.
“Let her go,” I say frantically, standing up, preparing to run inside.
“I’ll let her go when you come here and get her yourself. You for her.”
No.
“No,” I say, my voice shaking. “
No.”
“I guess I’ll just keep calling you as I slowly torture her then, won’t I? And imagine that poor innocent baby she’s carrying ...”
My stomach twists. He’ll hurt her and that baby. I know it as surely as I breathe. I couldn’t live with that. I just couldn’t. There is no way I’d ever forgive myself if I didn’t help her. And he knows it.
“What do you want?” I say, my hands balling into fists.
“You, Maddie. Find a way out of that compound. Rae got out without a problem, I’m sure you’ll get out easily, too. I’ll be waiting down the road. If you so much as alert anyone that I’ve made contact, or tell the where you’re going, or try to have me followed, I’ll kill her in front of you, then I’ll kill that baby. Do you understand me?”
With vomit rising in my throat, I whisper, “I understand.”
“Ten minutes, Maddie. I look forward to seeing you.”
He hangs up the phone, and it slips from my hand as tears run down my cheeks. If I don’t do as he asks, he’ll take not one but two lives. If I do as he asks, I might buy enough time to get the help we need. I glance down at the phone on the ground, and I decide to leave it there, but not before reaching down and sending a text to Shania. By the time she gets to Jack, I’ll be long enough gone that York won’t get suspicious. It’s the only thing I can do. I can’t alert the bikers; he’ll know because they’d never let me leave.
Baylee – Shania, I need help. York has Rae and I. Find Jack. Tell him. I love you.
I drop the phone back to the ground.
I have to get to Rae.
I have to protect her and her baby. No matter what she’s done.
I move quickly after the message is sent. I glance at the front entrance. One biker is standing by the gate. He’s not familiar with me, but he knows I’m staying here. Pulling my best casual face, and hoping I can pull this off, I walk towards him with a smile. It’s the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do, because inside it quite literally feels like I’m dying.
“Hi,” I greet the man, who has just lit up a smoke.
He looks to me. “Hey, kid.”
“Maddox just sent me out here to let you know they’re having a meeting about my protection, and he wanted you to join in.”
