by Joanne Rock
“Carson, if I wasn’t in a dangerous position, would you even be out here talking to me?” How had she gone from a relationship with a man who hit her to a relationship with a man who was only with her to protect her? “Thank you for helping me with my riding, but I’m not longer your responsibility.”
“Yes, you are.” His blue eyes narrowed. “You’re still on my land. You’re still at risk, only this time it’s a lunatic ex-boyfriend and not a horse that’s threatening you.”
“So shut down the filming. Send me packing.” She couldn’t do this with him anymore. Wouldn’t put her heart in his hands only to have him go back to being a polite stranger once she was safe again. “That would be kinder to me than making me care about you, only to pull away afterward like we had just a meaningless one-night stand. I’m not that woman, Carson. I won’t be.”
Putting a toe in the stirrup, she swung her leg over the roan’s back and urged the twitchy mare forward.
Fast.
She squeezed the quarter horse’s sides gently with her legs, propelling her more.
Carson’s shout faded in the distance behind her.
Rain-washed air whooshed past Emma’s face as she leaned over the roan’s head, the horse’s mane fluttering against her cheek. The wind dried her tears.
She’d been wrong about the cool breeze soothing the burn in her chest, though. Nothing was going to take away the suffering in her heart that had Carson’s name all over it. She’d been such a fool to move in to his house. Welcome him into her bed.
But oh, hell, she couldn’t regret those beautiful moments with him—in Jackson last night and again today in the sauna. She wouldn’t trade that for anything.
No matter that it hurt now and always would.
She pulled the reins lightly to the right, seeing a muddy patch ahead. But the mare leaped it easily. Just when her hooves hit the ground again, however, lighting flashed in the sky.
Thunder rumbled at almost the same moment.
All at once, the horse spooked.
The mare dropped her shoulder, spinning to one side.
The movement was too fast for Emma. She couldn’t do any of the maneuvers Carson had taught her. She lost her seat too quickly, flying through the air.
Coming down on her back with a sickening thud.
* * *
Carson didn’t bother saddling the bay to go after Emma. He sprinted into the equipment shed and fired up his father’s ATV. He didn’t know where Dax was and didn’t take the time to text the security guard. If Emma’s maniac ex-boyfriend was out there, Carson didn’t have a second to waste.
Roaring out into the woods, he hadn’t gone far when the roan Emma had been riding came trotting out of the trees.
Riderless.
Carson’s mind filled with a dozen scenarios and none of them were good. His gut sank.
Fear howled through him. His chest felt like it would implode as he squeezed the last bit of speed out of the ATV, pushing the thing as fast as it could go. He flew over bumps, kicking up leaves and branches as he tore through mud, following the trail the horse had left in the muddy path.
Until he spotted Emma lying on the ground, her body contorted at a strange angle.
Horror flooded him, past and present mingling as a memory of his mother’s body lying prone in the cattle pen flashed in front of his eyes.
It had been his worst nightmare then, and one he couldn’t accept repeating. He must have shut off the ATV, because the next thing he knew, he was running to her side. That was when he became aware of another man on the periphery of the clearing.
“Don’t move her,” the man shouted. “I’m calling 911.”
The ex-boyfriend?
A momentary red haze passed over Carson’s vision as he turned toward the guy. But it was Dax, the security guard. He must have followed her out here, doing the job he’d been assigned. Carson blinked through the confusion, his focus returning to Emma.
“Carson?”
Her voice was whisper soft, but the word was distinct.
His heart lodged in his throat while, behind him, Dax shouted out directions to the emergency dispatch.
“I’m here.” Carson kneeled on the damp ground beside her. “You’re going to be fine,” he assured her, needing it to be true even if her legs were twisted awkwardly beneath her. No wonder Dax didn’t want her moved until EMS got here.
Carson tried not to remember the way his mother had clung to life for three interminable days when they’d careened between hope and despair. He shook off the past, needing to be here for Emma now.
Gently, he brushed a strand of brown hair out of her eyes, but it caught in her lashes.
“The thunder...” Emma’s eyes opened for a moment, unfocused. “It spooked her.”
He pressed his forehead to hers, willing her to be all right. He didn’t see any blood outside of some surface scratches, but that didn’t rule out internal injuries.
“I know, honey. It’s okay. And you’re going to be okay, too. Help is coming.”
“The roan—” she began, her eyebrows furrowed in question.
“She’s fine. She was already trotting home when I came to find you.” He wanted to wrap Emma up in his arms, even though it was too late to keep her safe.
He just wanted her.
Needed her.
He loved this woman too damn much for anything to happen to her. Love? Why the hell hadn’t he figured that out sooner, when he could have said it to her back at his father’s stable? Before she rode away and...
Eyes stinging, he closed them against the pain as he kissed her forehead.
“Emma?” He wanted to tell her now. To assure her that he cared, and not just because he wanted to protect her.
But as his gaze returned to hers, her eyes were closed. Her mouth had gone slack. Thankfully, he could feel the reassuring puff of her breath on his cheek.
She’d passed out, but she was still right there with him.
Still alive.
Carson ground his teeth, willing her to stay that way.
Fourteen
Waiting was enough to drive a man insane.
Carson paced the corridor at the hospital in Cheyenne three hours later, hoping the latest doctor who was in with Emma would give the all clear for him to see her. He wasn’t a relative of hers, so privacy laws meant he couldn’t have immediate access to updates. Which killed him. Especially since EMS had strapped her to a board to move her, a technique that made him fear paralysis.
But about ninety minutes after the ambulance brought Emma into the medical center, her condition was listed as stable.
Not critical.
He kept reminding himself of that when he couldn’t be in there with her, holding her hand. Watching over her himself. This wasn’t a situation like with his mother. Emma really was going to be okay.
“You want to talk about it?” Cody asked him from a seat by the window in the waiting room, careful to keep his gaze on some point on the horizon outside and not on Carson.
Carson hadn’t spoken much to his twin over the last years—they had too many fundamental differences. But Cody had been one of the first on the scene in the woods after Carson had found Emma. Cody had kept him from coming unglued when the EMS team refused to let him in the ambulance.
And yeah, it was Cody who had to know exactly why seeing Emma on the ground today had been the second most terrifying moment of his life. They’d both been there when their mother had been trampled.
“Talking. Isn’t that like pouring acid on a wound?” Carson asked, not slowing his pacing as he glared at the door to Emma’s room, willing the doctor to come out with a positive report.
The rest of the family had remained behind at Black Creek Ranch after the ambulance drove off with Emma, since the crisis was still unfolding with the blackmailer. Da
x had driven to the hospital in his own vehicle, and remained on duty now, outside the emergency room.
Just in case.
But Carson had already called the cops to let them know about Emma’s ex. She could make a more detailed complaint when she awoke. For now, Carson wanted the wheels in motion to find the guy and throw his ass back in prison for contacting her—a clear parole violation and a threatening move that had no doubt rocked her concentration in the saddle.
“Right. Maybe it is,” Cody acknowledged, rising from his chair to stand in Carson’s path. They stood nose-to-nose for a second before Cody grabbed Carson’s shoulders. “Would you consider listening then?”
For a second, memories of similar standoffs blended together with the present one. Times Cody had held him back when Carson wanted to brawl with some kid in high school. Times Cody had tried to talk him out of hopping on the back of a bull too soon after an injury.
So many times his twin had been the responsible one, the cautious one.
Funny how knowing Emma gave Carson a window into his brother’s frustration. It hurt to see people you care about put their neck on the line.
“Yes,” Carson agreed, dropping to sit in one of the cheap waiting room chairs. “But only until I see Emma’s door open.”
Cody lowered himself into a seat across from him, his eyes taking Carson’s measure.
“Okay. Then I’ll come right to the point.” Cody laced his fingers together, elbows on the arms of his chair. “I know what happened today had to have sucked the soul right out of you.”
He didn’t have the emotional resources for this. Not now. “I can’t do this—”
His brother continued speaking right over him. “But she’s okay, and it’s obvious she cares about you. Don’t screw things up by doing something stupid like pushing her away if you care about her, too.”
For the first time in a long time, Carson looked his brother in the eye. Really looked at him.
And let out a surprise bark of laughter.
“What?” Cody frowned, leaning back in his seat.
“I was just thinking that having a conversation with you is exactly like wrestling with my conscience,” Carson admitted, hating every minute spent in a hospital waiting room. Too many bad memories. “And then I remembered another time when you were doling out life wisdom when we were just little punks and I screamed at you, ‘Who died and left you boss?’”
Cody rolled his eyes, but there was the barest hint of a smile on his lips. “Here we go.”
“And without missing a beat, you shouted back, ‘Mom did.’” Carson couldn’t hold back a grin. “I believed that for a little while, you know.”
“Probably because I was always so much smarter than you,” Cody said, glancing up at an orderly jogging past while pushing a wheelchair down the hall.
“Not smarter. Just much less fun.” Carson took a small amount of comfort from the lifelong argument, the way they’d set themselves apart from one another when they were actually—truth be told—far too much alike.
“But are you going to listen to me for once?” Cody pressed, not getting sidetracked by the old disagreement. “Admit that I might know best, and that you shouldn’t push away someone you care about just because loving someone is a riskier proposition than anything else you’ve tackled?”
Carson wasn’t ready to admit to his brother that he was already committed. If he could explain to Emma how much he cared—if she believed him—he wasn’t giving her up. Emma deserved to be the first person to know that.
Besides, Carson had a question for his twin.
“Is that what happened with Jillian?” he asked. “You decided it was worth the risk even though she—”
He hesitated, knowing the mother of Cody’s future child was a breast cancer survivor of two years. She’d been the location scout who had chosen McNeill lands as a good potential spot for filming Winning the West, a job she’d taken to see the world. She’d asked Cody to travel with her for a few months before their baby was born, and he was actively planning the trip with her. It was a big compromise for someone so focused on his business.
“—is a cancer survivor?” Cody didn’t shy away from it. “Hell yes. She’s worth the risk. Because the alternative is not being with her, and that’s something I refuse to consider.”
Carson understood all too well. He didn’t want to spend any more time without Emma, either. His half sister’s words floated around his brain just then, and he figured Cody would get a kick out of them.
“Maisie said you only dated women you wanted to marry, and I only dated women that I was sure I wouldn’t.”
Cody laughed. “Sisters have a way with words.”
Carson winced. “Speaking of which, I may have screwed up with Scarlett by hiring additional security for her in LA.” His gut knotted as he remembered how upset she’d been. “She was angry I hadn’t told her. She threatened to pack up and move down there, and it didn’t make matters any better that the call came at the same time Emma stepped out of the house and I was distracted.”
“I’ll get in touch with her,” Cody assured him. “You concentrate on Emma.”
Carson was about to thank him when the door to Emma’s room opened. A short, balding doctor stepped out, holding a chart in one hand.
“Friends of Emma Layton?” the guy asked, peering over the rims of narrow eyeglasses.
Carson was on his feet. “How is she? Can I see her?”
Cody was behind him, a silent shadow. Welcome support.
“She’s doing well, and she asked for you,” the doc replied, glancing back down at the chart. “Assuming you’re Carson?”
The fresh wave of relief nearly leveled him. It was all good news, and still, he felt like he’d been treading water for days and just got pulled into the rescue boat. Cody clapped him on the shoulder.
“I’m Carson.” He tried to focus on the doctor as the guy warned him about concussion symptoms and the need to keep Emma quiet and stress-free. He was glad Cody was there to listen, too, and help him remember everything later.
“No broken bones?” Carson asked, remembering how twisted she’d looked when she fell.
“Nothing is broken. Her arm is scraped up, but her X-rays came back clear.” The doctor went on to suggest her stunt work might have helped her to fall in a way that saved her.
Relief rushed through Carson. “So I can see her?”
“Of course.” The doctor stepped aside. “I’ll get her discharge paperwork started.”
Emma could go home. Carson couldn’t process anything else as he charged toward the door to her room.
He just hoped like hell that going home meant going with him.
* * *
Emma could hear Carson’s voice in the hallway.
She was awake now. And conscious.
So surely she couldn’t be dreaming his voice. Dreaming of him. He must have come to the hospital to see her. Judging from the tone of his voice, he was anxious to be with her, in fact.
Then again, she had to be dreaming.
Because earlier today, he’d pulled away from her after they’d made love in the sauna. All the intense heat and passion had vanished. He’d given her an easygoing smile, like they were just flirting.
He’d told her she didn’t need to come with him to his father’s house. That it was unnecessary.
He hadn’t wanted to be with her, and she wasn’t going to put herself in a situation where her heart would get broken. Not when she’d only just managed to scrape her life back together after the way Austin had messed with her head. Her self-esteem.
“Emma?” Carson’s voice was closer now.
Filled with tenderness.
She forced her eyes open, willing herself to face whatever happened next. Because if she’d learned one thing about herself since the day Austin’s fist smashe
d into her face, it was that she wasn’t a quitter. And she didn’t scare easily.
She’d already called the local police to report Austin, and had received a reassuring message just a few minutes ago that Austin had already been picked up in Los Angeles in an unrelated incident that the sheriff’s office wasn’t at liberty to disclose. Thank goodness. He’d never been in Cheyenne.
Now Carson sat beside her bed, his chair pulled up as close to the edge as it could be.
“How are you feeling?” he asked, his blue eyes searching her face.
“Better than you might think.” She didn’t want him to sugarcoat how he treated her in order to keep her safe. “I appreciate you being here, Carson, but the doctor said I’ll be fine.” When he didn’t respond right away, she tried to make her point more clearly. “You don’t need to worry about me anymore. Austin is already back in police custody, and I’m returning to the White Canyon Ranch for the rest of the filming.”
The words were her declaration of independence. She needed to show him she could stand on her own.
Still, they left her feeling hollow inside. She wanted more than anything to take shelter in his arms for one more day.
Or for a lifetime.
She closed her eyes for a moment, because just thinking about that made her chest constrict with anguish and she refused to let him see her cry. When she opened her eyes again, Carson’s face was a mask of—she didn’t know what. But his expression was unlike any other one she’d seen.
“If that’s really what you want, Emma, I will do whatever I can to make the move easier for you.” His words sounded wooden. As hollow as she felt inside. Then, he leaned closer and his hand grazed her arm, his expression shifting into something more real. More...urgent. “But I’d give anything for a chance to do things over today. To rewind to the sauna, and just stay there like we were.”
She definitely couldn’t think about that. Not with her head still aching from a fall and all her defenses crumbling. “I don’t think either of us are the kind of people who would be content with just a physical relationship.”
