“You shouldn’t.”
She waved her hand around dismissively. “Anyway. I don’t think I told you last night, but I’m glad you’re back. I missed you. How long are you staying?”
“Don’t change the subject.”
“What do you want me to say? I haven’t seen you in months. Before that you were in a perpetual bad mood. And now that you’re back you want me to list all my insecurities for you while we sit in a clinic after we had a pretty big argument and you have a broken lip?”
“Yes.”
“No,” she huffed.
“Vi.” He arched an eyebrow and gave her the look that always got her talking…more than usual.
Her eyes were busy looking at the balloon print on her scrubs. “I just haven’t seriously dated anyone since…for a long time. I feel uncomfortable about it all. The whole process. Will he like me? Will I say the right thing? Will he think my stomach’s too lumpy?”
“Your dad fucked you up a little, Vi,” he said, causing her to finally look at him.
“I know that. And I don’t hate how I look or anything. It’s just that I don’t know what to do. I can’t tell when a guy likes me. When he’s hitting on me.”
Cain stood and helped her jump down. He reached behind her and pulled her top back and away from her body so that the front was now taut against her skin and the sliver of skin between the shirt and pants were exposed.
“Cain! What are you doing?” She tried to swat his hand away.
“Look down.” He gestured with his free hand for her to look at herself. “What do you see?”
She rolled her eyes. “The tops of my boobs,” she said incredulously.
He let out an exasperated breath and pulled her by the arm to the mirrored wall in the reception area. Before she had a chance to protest or question him, he stood behind her and pulled on the back of her scrubs again.
“Okay. Now look. What do you see?”
“Cain…”
“Have I ever backed down from anything? Tell me. You know I won’t stop till you do.”
She huffed. “Fine. I see…well…my boobs, my stomach.” She shrugged. “I know what you’re trying to do, Cain.”
“Yeah? You do? Then tell me what I want to hear.” His other hand reached to her front causing the front of his body to press against her back. His hand grazed her midsection, his fingers skimming under her breast. “You were dressed up yesterday. You looked nice, by the way.”
She looked into the mirror to meet his eyes. “So I look bad today—is that what you’re saying?”
“Don’t change the subject. You know that’s not what I meant,” he said, his eyes roaming her body. “Doesn’t look like you’re going to answer.” He smiled and looked back to her torso. “You know what I see? I see perfect plump tits. A long neck. A flat stomach.”
“I’m sure you’re used to well-defined abs,” she said with a self-deprecating laugh.
“Who the fuck wants a bony woman? I don’t.” With his other hand, he gripped her hip and bent down lower. His mouth was close to her ear as he spoke. “I also see hips, Violet. Deliciously full hips. The kind of hips a man wants to grab hold of while he’s taking his woman from behind.” Her eyes closed, and her lips parted. He knew it was a bad idea, but he couldn’t help but run the tip of his nose softly and reverently against her neck, inhaling her familiar scent, feeling her warmth. His hand gripped her hip a little tighter when a barely audible moan escaped her lips. Fuck! He’d been back twenty-four hours and he was already losing his goddamn mind, but he couldn’t help himself. This is why he had avoided being friendly with her again.
He let go of her waist and her shirt, moved a back a little, and looked down. “And God, look at that ass, Vi. That’s an ass. Look at those dimples.” He couldn’t help but groan a little as his fingers pressed against one of the small dimples at the base of her spine.
“Yeah, I know. Don’t remind me.” She looked over her shoulder and down to her ass. “I’m glad it’s back there so I don’t have to look at it.”
“I’m telling you, Violet, you could pretty much assume that if the guy has a dick, he’s hitting on you. Men love tits and ass, and fuck, Vi, you have both. Any man who can’t see that is either blind or stupid. Haven’t I always told you that you don’t need to lose weight? You look fine. You just need your insides to realize how perfect your outside is.”
Her face reddened. These were the boldest words he’d ever said to her, and he wasn’t quite sure if he’d just stepped over a line that shouldn’t be crossed, but everything he’d said was true and he didn’t regret saying it. She was beautiful and sexy, and she needed to know that, but evidently that didn’t stop her from being as surprised by hearing his words as he was to have said them.
“I wasn’t fishing for compliments. But thank you, Cain. You’ve always been…” She looked away as if trying to find the perfect words to say. She seemed somber, and a somber Violet was disconcerting. Normally she was always cheerful. Her voice was thick with unspoken emotion. “I just…I love you, Cain. You’re my oldest friend and you keep leaving me. I just…missed you, is all. It wasn’t so much that I was mad at you yesterday as I was sad.” She got on the tips of her toes and unabashedly wrapped her arms around him. He hesitated briefly and then pulled her close.
“I love you better.” He leaned in as if he was going to kiss her, his breath so close to her skin made her skin prickle. He used to kiss her cheek all the time but she was suddenly very aware of him. Of his lips hovering so close to her cheek, of his scent and his breath. He stepped back before there was any contact and pointed to the ointment on his lip as his reason for pulling away, but he could tell she hadn’t missed his reddened skin and hitched breath.
“I heard Tony and Slade talking about going out for drinks tonight with everyone. Are you going?” he said as he walked toward the door.
“Yes, I told Chrissy I’d be there.” She smiled as she cleaned up the small exam room.
As he walked back into the reception area, he thought back to how he’d felt when he’d been holding her. A lump formed in his throat. He’d give anything to have kissed her just now in front of the mirror. But he couldn’t do that. He could never have her.
He remembered how she’d looked at him, her smile. Her sunshine seeped into his pores, traveled though his body, and wrapped around his heart. It was almost too much, her light reflecting against his darkness. He had said, Love you better. It had been years since he’d uttered those words. It was what he’d always told her when they were younger.
He cleared his throat and strode toward the door. He needed space…again. If he could have taken the first flight back to Libya, he would have, because it was the only way he could stop himself from dragging her to the nearest flat surface and worshipping every single part of her body and soul with his own. Or telling her how he’d been in love with her for—he’d never not been in love with her.
He cleared his throat. “See you later,” he called over his shoulder before he walked away…again.
Like a pussy.
As he headed back across the street to the gym he realized he’d lose Violet forever if she knew the truth—that Cain was at fault for Jeremy’s death. It was a secret that ate at his soul daily. And to add to the cluster fuck that was his miserable life, the one thing he wanted most in the world was the one thing he could never have: his dead best friend’s fiancée.
Chapter 5
It was dark out by the time Violet walked into the Pier.
“Violet! Over here!” Chrissy, her boss and friend, waved.
Violet reached the booth to find four already tipsy women: Chrissy, Jessica, Francesca, and JL. “I thought you were working tonight, JL,” Violet said.
“I am. Sort of.” She pointed to a brunette behind the bar who looked like she was about to spill a tray full of drinks. “Penny needs to work a shift all on her own. I’m just here for moral support.” All five women cringed as they watched Penny’s tray teeter to t
he left, nearly spilling the drinks. “God, she’s terrible.” JL closed her eyes.
“The worst,” Francesca admitted. “Poor thing.”
“But she’s so pretty. Look at all the nice men helping her out,” Jessica, Slade’s fiancée, said as group of men flocked around Penny.
“Thank God for that. She’s sweet as pie, but the woman might be the worst bartender in the history of bartenders,” JL said.
“The men seem to like her,” Violet said as she sipped some wine.
“They certainly do. Look at your brother, I think he’s drooling,” Chrissy said to JL. The entire group turned to look at Travis, whose eyes were fixed on Penny.
“Oh yeah. Travis has been makin’ googly eyes at her since he first saw her,” JL laughed.
“Speaking of googly eyes, what’s going on with you and Cain?” Chrissy asked Violet. “I was going to ask you last night, but you seemed preoccupied, juggling that guy and Cain.” Chrissy waggled her eyebrows suggestively.
Violet scowled at Chrissy. “Cain was not making googly eyes at me.”
“You’re right about that.” Jessica said. “I don’t think the man has the facial muscles necessary to smile, much less make googly eyes.” She downed some wine. “Chrissy, you’re the doctor. Can a person be physically incapable of smiling?”
“Yeah, that man is intense,” Chrissy said. “But he’s got it bad for you, Violet. Trust me, if he could make googly eyes, he’d totally eye-fuck you.” All the women whipped their heads at Chrissy. “I mean, googly-fuck…Googly-eye…whatever. You get the gist of it.” The women all laughed.
Violet let out a big sigh. “I don’t want to talk about Cain and his mood swings. I want to talk about how I’m going to find a date for this stupid reunion.”
“You need a lesson in men, honey,” Francesca said. “You stood up the one from last night, and that time I tried to set you up, you barely said a word to the guy.”
“Oh, please. You’re one to talk. You were all weird before Tony came along and swept you off your stilettoed feet.”
“Okay, fine. I had issues. But the perfect man will fix all your issues.”
“I don’t want a man to fix me—I want a man who loves me just as I am. I don’t need to be fixed. I’m not broken.”
“Aren’t you sassy this evening?” Jessica said with a laugh.
The women drank and chatted for the next hour. Cain had yet to make an appearance, but the rest of the guys: Jack, Travis, Enzo, Slade, and Tony were all playing pool or darts in the back of the bar.
“You know,” Francesca said, her words slurring slightly, “I have a secret to tell you.” She placed a finger to her lips, then gestured for all the women to lean in. Once they were huddled together, Francesca said, “Cain has a Prince Albert.”
“A what?” Violet said loudly. All the women hushed her.
Ignoring her, Jessica asked, “How would you know that, Frances?”
“Know what? I don’t know what you people are talking about!” Violet said.
“I read it. It’s on his file from a medical exam. I asked Tony about it once, but he said some bullshit about bros before hos. Can you believe that shit? He thought I’d blab to you guys!” Francesca huffed.
“Uh…I think you just did,” Jessica said with a laugh.
“Oh, bite me. It’s not like you aren’t curious now that I’ve told you,” Francesca said with an arched eyebrow. “I know Tony’s seen it, because he didn’t seem surprised when I brought it up. He had a two-minute meltdown when he thought I’d looked at Cain’s cock. For those minutes I didn’t understand half the shit he was yelling, so I couldn’t defend myself. His accent came out in full force, and half the words were in Spanish.”
“Back up there, lady,” Chrissy said. “Your boyfriend’s been lookin’ at Cain’s junk?”
“No!” Francesca hissed. “Well, yes. But not on purpose. Once in a while, they walk around the locker room naked. They do the weigh-ins naked sometimes. It’s not weird. Okay, maybe a little weird.” Francesca shrugged. “It’s not something they talk about.”
“Damn. I want to go into that locker room!” JL put in.
Violet blew out a breath in frustration. “Hey! What are you people talking about?!”
“Keep up!” Jessica laughed. “Cain has a piercing on his penis. Tony’s seen it.”
“He what?” Violet yelped, and then quickly covered her mouth. “No way. Impossible. He doesn’t even have a tattoo. No way he’d have piercings. Super-law-abiding Cain? He’s a freakin’ Army Ranger. I don’t believe it.” Violet sat back as the women continued cackling. “How the hell does that even work?”
“You’re a nurse. You should know.”
“How would I know? I’ve never seen that. I just…I can’t believe that. It’s completely out of character. I’ve known him since he was…I’ve never not known him. No way. Why would he get his pecker pierced?”
“For her pleasure,” Francesca added matter-of-factly. “Wait! Did you just say pecker?”
“That seems like a lot of trouble to go to just to please a woman,” Violet mused, ignoring the question.
Chrissy raised her eyebrows. “Some men are all about pleasing. You should see what Jack could do with his fingers.”
“Oh, and Slade’s mouth…mmm,” Jessica added.
“Eww. No. No. No. I don’t want to hear about my brother’s mouth.” Chrissy made a disgusted face, and the other women laughed.
JL gave her a look. “You know what they say about the quiet ones.”
“I think our quiet guy is a force—not just in the cage, but in bed too,” Francesca added.
“And probably on the table, and in the shower, and…” Chrissy giggled.
“Oh, God,” Violet groaned. “I feel so inadequate right now.”
“Howdy, ladies.” Travis, JL’s brother, came over with a tip of his cap. The rest of the men were close behind.
“Come on, wife, it’s time to go home.” Jack reached for Chrissy’s hand. The way that Jack looked at Chrissy was the stuff fairy tales were made of.
“I gotta stick around and make sure Penny doesn’t break anything else,” JL said.
“Come on, babe. We need to let the dogs out of their crates,” Jessica said to Slade.
“Guess we should head out too,” Francesca said to Tony.
“I’ll stick around,” Violet said as all the women said their goodbyes.
Travis slid into the booth across from her. “Another round then?” he asked, and JL signaled for Penny.
Fifteen minutes later, Violet and JL were laughing so hard at Travis’s stories that Violet’s cheeks hurt. But she stopped laughing abruptly when the door of the bar opened and in walked Cain holding a tall, slender redhead close to him with one arm while trying to shut an umbrella with the other. His blond hair was wet and his black shirt clung to him in the most perfect way.
“Violet? Hello? Earth to Violet,” Travis said, and whistled.
She turned her head to see Travis and JL looking at her knowingly.
“Googly eyes,” JL said, pointing at Violet.
Violet swatted her arm. “Stop it.”
“Darlin’, you got a little crush on Chatty over there?” Travis teased.
“I do not have a crush,” Violet hissed.
“Sugar, you’re so full of shit, your eyes just turned brown,” JL drawled.
Violet looked at the siblings and barked out a laugh. “You are so gross, JL.” Her eyes were teary from laughing so hard. Violet may have been from Texas too, but those twins had the slangs, twangs, and sayin’s down to a science.
“Yo.” A deep voice interrupted her laughter. She looked up to see Cain giving her the chin nod that passed for a greeting with him. “Vi, thought you’d be home by now.”
“Nope. Still here.”
Without missing a beat, JL leaned over Travis and looked down at Cain’s crotch, then at Violet, and giggled stupidly. Cain’s eyebrows drew together. Violet’s face flushed and she
threw a napkin at JL. “Stop that! Travis, would you control your crazy drunk sister?”
JL looked like she was about to say something snarky and embarrassing, but just then a crashing sound and a yelp came from the bar. “Son of a bitch!” JL pushed her brother out of the way and jumped out of the booth. “Penny! What did you do now?”
“She sure is pretty, though,” Travis said as he stared at Penny, who was bent over picking up broken glass from the floor. He shrugged and turned back to Violet. “Guess it’s just you and me, darlin’.” He gave her a wink.
Cain didn’t look amused. Instead he grunted and went back to his date, who was sitting at the bar waiting for him. Violet shook her head and ignored him.
“What’s his problem?” Travis asked.
“Who knows?” She finished her glass of wine, suddenly unable to think about anything but Cain, his date, and the fact that he’d all of a sudden reverted back to being a jerk. “How ’bout some shots?”
A few minutes later, when JL had rejoined them, two men walked into the Pier, both looking devastatingly handsome in sharp business suits. The taller of the two, with inky black hair slicked back, smiled at Violet as he walked past her to sit at a few tables behind.
JL eyed the two men. “Holy hotness! It’s Bruce Wayne,” she said, loudly enough for the men to hear, and they gave her a smile.
Travis snorted. “Stop staring.” He downed a shot of tequila.
Ignoring him, JL called out, “Hey, Batman and Robin. Want to join us for some drinks?”
“Oh my God.” Violet winced. “Stop talking.”
“It’s been a while since I’ve had tequila.” JL coughed. “The tall one’s checking you out. So quiet down. Fluff your hair or something,” she ordered.
Violet looked over her shoulder and saw Cain scowling at her in an overbearing, overprotective way. The intensity in his eyes made her shiver. He was such a handsome jerk. She licked salt off her hand, her eyes glued to his, and downed another shot. She wasn’t sure why she kept staring at him—she just couldn’t look away. She knew that her drinking was pissing him off. She wondered whether she was trying to rile him up, but she was too drunk to care.
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