by C. J. Anaya
I also had to repair some damage to her heart and lungs due to the intensity of her illness, and after thirty minutes of diligent focus and strain I nearly collapsed on the floor from exhaustion. I managed to heal her, but I wouldn’t be able to help anyone for at least another twenty-four hours. I was completely spent.
After sending her and the mother away with a few herbs and some relieved and happy tears, I sat with Daiki and Hatsumi, allowing them to fuss over me as they were both aware of my limitations where my gift was concerned.
I didn’t mind being lectured about joining the rebels. Anything to take my mind off of the future planned for me and the large question mark replacing it. I didn’t want to think on the precarious position this revelation of Kenji’’s put me in, but my father’s reaction to this news would be anyone’s guess. We wouldn’t be able to hide the problem surrounding my soul mate for much longer. Not with my union to Katsu looming in the not-so-distant future. If he failed to heal my ki by then, he was going to figure out the truth and uncover Kenji’s lie in the process. My tutor had risked his life for my sake. The time for leaving the palace drew closer with every lie we were forced to tell.
Yes, escaping the palace would be the only option for Kenji, Saigo, and myself. I brought my thoughts back to the present, responding to Daiki and Hatsumi’s comments.
“I know you both wish to protect me, but helping the rebels lends me a certain sense of control over my life. It gives me hope that perhaps I can assist with ending all of the suffering and pain my father continues to cause.”
Daiki wore his concern like a mantel over his broad shoulders. Over time that mantel might crush him. “I know you are in good hands with Musubi, and assigning him the role of husband was a smart move on Akane’s part, but the danger to your person is real nonetheless. What happens if Musubi is set upon by more foes than he can handle while you are there healing the warriors? What if a soldier from your father’s army is able to reach you? With your ki as damaged as it is you’ll not recover before death comes to steal you away.””
“That’s why I am learning to fight.”
“Not fast enough,” Hatsumi interjected. “Training to fight like a samurai takes years to master. You may have learned some basics thus far, but you cannot fit into a few lessons what thousands of pupils have learned over the course of a lifetime. You will not last long in a fight to the death, Mikomi.”
Though I didn’t like it, I had to agree with their logic. I took to my lessons like a fish takes to swimming, but I was still hopelessly lacking when it came to defending myself or anyone else for that matter. There had to be a way to learn at a more rapid pace. With the prophecy flawed and my soul mate unaccounted for, a confrontation with my father seemed inevitable. I didn’’t want to consider my mother’s reaction to these recent developments.
I startled when the front door burst open. My heart nearly leaped from my chest at the sight of Musubi standing there with a small smirk adorning his tempting lips.
“Come to training early, have we? If I didn’t know any better, I’d think you were following me, little healer.” He folded his arms over his chest as Akane walked in behind him.
I stood up from the wooden bench and gave him a challenging smile. “Since when do we train at the tavern? I’m merely here visiting with friends. I believe it is you who is following me.”
His smirk grew more pronounced, as if my response had delighted him in some way. A wave of pleasure coursed through me at the lighthearted way he walked over to the table.
“Akane, Musubi,” Daiki greeted. “What brings you two here? Are you in need of some weapons?”
“No, nothing like that,” Akane said. “We ran into a woman in the woods who claimed her daughter had been miraculously healed by a talented medicine woman at the village tavern. And just how many talented healers in the village do we have the great pleasure of claiming an acquaintance with? I felt this was our best chance to pass along a message.” Akane motioned me to move over and then positioned herself next to me.
“I see.” Daiki gave me a resigned look and stood. “Hatsumi, let’s give them some privacy to talk these things over. No doubt the less we know the better.”
Hatsumi placed a comforting hand on my shoulder as she rose. “Try to get some rest when you can.”
I reached for her hand and squeezed it, then followed them with my eyes as they walked to the back of the tavern and through the door to their living quarters. I turned back to watch Musubi lower himself in Daiki’s place across the table from me. He intently studied me, something I found both disarming and exhilarating.
“Mikomi, what on earth has happened to your eyes? He reached across the table and lifted my chin. “It is painfully clear you’ve suffered some form of injury.””
He looked livid, as if he might kill the persons responsible.
I mentally berated myself for my folly. I’d managed to keep my injuries a secret from him during our trainings together. The layers of darkness during the lukewarm evenings aided my subterfuge, and Musubi’s reticence to make eye contact with me furthered my success. The emotion he exhibited now surprised me after the cold indifference I had endured for the past few months. His fight to maintain some emotional distance from me had barely wavered since my warning of the threat to the rebels’ camp. It was as if our intense moment together had scared him away, encouraging this great distance between us.
Our trainings were intense and draining, but he did his best to maintain our student-teacher relationship and never allow for anything more. I ached for his teasing smile and sarcastic comments, but he remained distant and inaccessible. It hurt to be so close to him physically and know he was so far beyond my reach.
“I was ill for a few days,” I said, brushing his hand away and leaning back out of his reach. If I wanted to keep my thoughts organized, I couldn’t have him touching me.
“Really?” His skepticism enveloped me. “What happened?”
He didn’t believe me, but I didn’t have the strength nor the desire to go into the details, especially if I wanted to keep my cover intact.
“I think we shouldn’t waste time talking about my own awkward clumsiness when there is something important you have to say. What’s going on? Is there an injury that requires my attention?” I secretly hoped the answer to be no. I’d never manage it at this point.
Akane gave me a sympathetic smile, aware of the damage my ki had sustained, and no doubt wondering how much energy I had used to heal that small girl. She and I had become quite close over the last few months, sharing memories of our childhood and marveling at the many differences they held.
Though we came from different worlds, our desires, morals, and goals brought us together and bonded us in a familial way. In her I found a friend, a confidant, and a sister. Someone who believed in me, encouraged me, and fully adopted me into this world of intrigue and espionage. She even sparred with me after my instructions with Musubi and taught me a secret code she and Musubi used with the rebels; a mixed series of taps and whistles used within the forest.
I aided the rebels in many successful raids by imparting my news to my guards Yao and Chan with this particular code. By employing a series of soft whistles through the door and taps along the wall I could share my information without ever being caught in conversation, thereby furthering to protect their cover.
“At the moment, no one is on death’s door,” Akane replied. “What Musubi and I need from you is some information.”
Musubi let out a dissatisfied grunt, and she paused long enough to give him a stern look.
“We have it on good authority that the emperor is receiving a shipment of gold coming in from the south sea, but we don’t know the day, approximate time or even the exact location.”
“Akane,” he said in warning, but she gave him another hard glare. This argument with Akane was an old one. Musubi had never come to terms with my role as a spy.
She continued, “The emperor may be a god, but even
gods need resources to buy supplies, weapons, and soldiers. If we could acquire that shipment before he does, it would cripple his resources and fuel ours. It might also compel him to venture forth out of the palace in search of more resources.”
My father would have to be desperate indeed to consider that.
“Agreed, what would you have me do?”
“We need you to take advantage of your important position as healer for the imperial palace.”
“I am more than happy to do so, but I am only called upon when someone of high ranking is fatally wounded.”
Akane gave me a triumphant look, and I received the impression that I’d said exactly what she wanted to hear.
“It just so happens that the emperor’s first in command has recently been injured in battle and will most likely need a healer soon. The man is being transported to the palace even as we speak. I believe he should arrive by tomorrow if not sooner.””
“And the emperor will most likely send for me.”
“We’re counting on it.”
Musubi grumbled and pointed a finger at Akane. “She’s counting on it. As I’ve said before, I think this idea is dangerous and foolhardy. Akane, you’re putting her in a very precarious position.”
“She will be taken to the emperor’s quarters and left to her own devices in the healing process, as usual, I am sure. There is no way she will be caught retrieving the information we need.”
I sensed the double meaning in that statement. Akane was aware of my methods and knew it to be impossible for my father to catch me scanning the soldier’s memories.
“I’ll agree to the plan. If the emperor should summon me, I will do what I can to gather the information you need.” I dared a fleeting glance at Musubi. His thunderous expression conveyed his dissatisfaction with my response. I tried to assuage the turmoil bubbling just below the surface. “I will be fine. As Akane said, I am usually left to do what I must.”
“Mikomi, I warned you that this was not a game.” He clenched his hands upon the table. “You’ll be inside the palace within close proximity to the emperor and his guards. One false move and you’re captured.”
“I can handle this,” I insisted. “I have successfully gathered information for the rebels for months now. Why do you continue to take issue with my involvement?””
He shook his head, the steady thrum of his anger beating a cadence I both recognized and despised. “You and Akane know how I feel about this. You were to be our medicine woman. Not a spy and certainly not a soldier. I wish I could be there to help you in case something goes wrong. You are a talented student, but you will never survive against the emperor’’s guards should you be discovered.”
“Then I best make certain I am not.”
We stared at one another for a few moments. He didn’t want to let this argument go, and I refused to give up my place in this war. We’d arrived at an uncomfortable stalemate.
“I think this is the best option we have, Musubi, and whether I’m providing medicine or gathering information, I’m contributing to this cause in some way.””
“When do you think the emperor will demand your services?” Akane asked.
I ripped my eyes from Musubi’s stormy face, grateful for the brief reprieve. “If the emperor’s first in command is injured as you say, I am sure I will be summoned within a day or two. He cannot afford to lose such experienced men.”
Akane gave me a worried smile. “Am I asking too much of you?”
“Yes,” Musubi grunted.
I ignored him. “You know this is something I can handle.”
She studied me for several seconds before nodding. “All right then. We’ll wait for you tomorrow night at our current base camp location, though I assume you will meet Musubi tonight for more training.”
I nodded while Musubi continued to glower.
“You must take care,” he said, reaching his hand across the table and wrapping it around mine. “I...we do not wish to lose you, and make no mistake, should you fail to show up for your training tonight, or any other night for that matter, I will assume the worst and storm that infernal palace myself, dragging you out of the dungeons even if I have to slaughter a thousand guards to do it.” He swallowed hard and then abruptly stood up. “I’’ll see you back at the camp, Akane.” He disappeared out the door in a hurry.
My hand felt warm and tingly, and in that moment I would have given anything to have sat across the table from him, holding hands and simply enjoying the moment before it slipped away.
Akane cleared her throat, breaking me from my tangled thoughts.
“He is quite taken with you, you know. I’ve never seen him like this with anyone, and believe me, I’ve tried to encourage him to take a wife.””
My eyes went wide at Akane’s openness. “You think he cares for me in some way?”
She let out a soft chuckle. “Musubi is a complex individual with many layers. Just when you think you’ve begun to understand where he is emotionally, you find yourself stonewalled. I may not know many details concerning Musubi’s past, but I can tell you one thing for certain: for as long as I’ve known him he has never looked at another woman the way he looks at you.”
I shook my head, not wanting to get my hopes up. “He is required to pay attention to me because I am his student.”
“Yes, I fully expected an insurmountable argument to deal with when I introduced him to you and told him for all intents and purposes you would play a married couple amongst my soldiers. Yet he hardly fought back. He gave in rather quickly, and Musubi is not one to be easily swayed.” She gave me an appraising look, and a slow smile lit her face. “You care for him as well. I can tell by the rising blush on your cheeks.”
I looked at the ground, embarrassment descending in uncomfortable waves. During all of my many heart-to-hearts with Akane, I had never allowed myself to broach the subject of my personal feelings for Musubi. If I didn’t acknowledge what I felt aloud then perhaps the constant longing and ache for him would fail to be so acute.
“Do you think he has discerned my true affections?”
“Doubtful, he’s too distracted by his own feelings for you and the way he is most likely fighting them to notice that you might reciprocate in any way.”
“Do you think he will continue to fight any feelings he might have for me?”
“Absolutely.”
“Why?”
Akane sighed. “He’s punishing himself for something he has never once been willing to discuss with me. Perhaps you’ll be the one to draw him out where I couldn’’t. You’ve healed so many of my men with your power, Mikomi. Would you consider using one specific healing power to fix whatever is broken within Musubi?”
“And what specific healing power might that be?”
Akane smiled. “The healing power of love.”
* * *
I sat at the table long after Akane left, puzzling over our conversation. Though my heart ached to be loved by someone as brave and honorable as Musubi, I had to acknowledge the impossibility of something so wonderful hovering within my reach. My complicated circumstances would be enough to deter anyone from assuming they could change their fate simply by wishing it into being.
But there were other factors weighing in on my life right now. Who was my soul mate, and what would happen when I finally told Katsu the truth? Would he believe and accept the obvious or insist upon our union regardless of the consequences?
There was one thing Kenji mentioned that gave me reason to believe I might find answers to all of these troubling questions.
The prophecy.
If the prophecy was flawed, then I had to get my hands on the original copy. The one written by our First Parents before it was translated into our current form of Japanese.
Which begged the question, how? Would the monks preserving those ancient writings be willing to hand over something as valuable as a prophecy, written in the hand of the gods, to a young woman even if she was The Healer?
&n
bsp; I thought not.
Kenji would no doubt have access to it, but even if he copied the entire prophecy in its original dialect, who on earth might be capable of reading it?
I came out of my troubled musings when I realized I had lingered much longer than intended. I needed to hurry back before Katsu noticed my absence. I searched for Daiki and Hatsumi, wishing to bid them farewell, but they were nowhere to be found.
Perhaps they took their son on a leisurely walk.
As I left the tavern and made a right toward the woods, I received the distinct and disturbing impression that someone within the vicinity monitored my movements. I surveyed the sparsely populated roads, taking note of the usual vendors and shop keepers, but they paid me little heed, accustomed to seeing “the village healer” walking from Daiki’s tavern.
I shrugged away the eerie feeling and entered the woods, though I swore the same set of eyes followed me as I continued forward. After a few minutes of crippling anxiety the oppressive presence slipped away, and I was left to wonder if perhaps I had simply imagined the entire incident due to my stressful situation coupled with my damaged ki.
Waves of exhaustion rolled over me. The unusual stillness of the forest preyed upon my frazzled nerves, leading me to wild, paranoid musings, which drained my energy and served absolutely no purpose. I hurried forward and then broke into a run. I didn’t stop running until I arrived at the Ivory Palace.
Just before I broke through the brush, I paused, watching the area for imperial guards who regularly patrolled the palace grounds. I waited for two pairs to pass by and then bolted, knowing I had a ten minute window to sneak back into the gardens and hide myself behind some foliage.
This outing had been too risky. With Katsu’s overbearing smothering and my father’s endless attempts at summoning me, my absence would be that much more apparent.
