There’s another knock on the door.
When I open it, Myles stands waiting, wearing the ridiculous Santa sweater I left behind for him. I don’t know whether to laugh or cry at the sight of him, still so handsome, his blue eyes saying so much more than words ever could.
“Can I come in?” It takes a few seconds for me to realize what he’s asked.
My brain can’t quite comprehend he’s standing there. “Hey.” I take a step back from the door. His presence causes the air to shift. The electricity I normally feel when he’s around shoots right through me.
“What are you doing here? Why did you send all this?” I wave my hand over the apartment, glancing at the Christmas tree, the large piles of food, and the beautiful flowers.
“I’m here to celebrate Christmas with you,” he answers softly, holding my gaze.
“I can’t just forget about everything. I can’t pretend it never happened.”
His face remains solemn. “I don’t expect you to forget, but I need you to hear me out.” He turns his head, and his gaze lands on the couch. “Can we sit? I want to explain some things.”
I nod and take a seat beside him. He looks down at my Rudolph slippers, and a warm smile forms on his lips, the edges of his eyes crease, and the half dimple is revealed.
Sigh.
“I know I messed up the night of the accident. I didn’t want to lie. Everything was very confusing that night. Your brother was in a state of shock. We both were. And we were also very young.”
A cold shiver runs through my body. I wrap my arms around my torso.
“You were all Oli had. I didn’t have time to think through the repercussions of the lie. I know you are a strong, independent woman. I love that about you. I love that you’re fierce yet giving. I love how you fight for what you believe in, and how you love your family and friends. I’m in love with you, Flynn Russell.” He tries to smile, but I can tell from the sadness in his eyes he’s hurting every bit as much as I am. “It was a tough situation because it wasn’t really my secret to tell. I’d been begging Oli to do it since you came back to town. And I’m sure you hated us both for the way it went down.
“You opened up to me, and I didn’t do the same. I was scared of losing you a second time, so I kept things under wrap until your brother came around.” He runs his fingers through his hair.
“I was a coward.” He frowns. “I want you, Tink. I want and respect every part of you. I fucked up when I didn’t come after you. Yes, the guilt of the lie kept me away at first, but I didn’t lie when I said I didn’t feel good enough for you. That was all true. It was just that the lie made everything worse, and I was in a bad headspace. My self-doubt was a major part of the reason I stayed away.” He takes a breath. My own throat feels tight.
“I’m here now. I’m done fucking up. I’ll chase you to the end of the world if I have to. I’m not perfect.” He reaches for my hand, and his is trembling a bit. Something about that melts the small bit of ice left in my heart. “I love you so damn much. Just the way you are because you are perfect for me. And so what I guess I’m asking is for your forgiveness. I’m also asking you to love me for who I am, even if parts of me are fucked up.” His normally bright blue eyes are shiny. I can’t stop my own tears from falling. The tightness in my throat relaxes, and I take a soothing breath. Hearing those words from his mouth means everything.
“You need to swear right here and now that you will never keep another secret from me.”
“Deal,” he says. “Except for gifts and good surprises, but only every once in a while. And I will never lie to you again. I promise you.”
“Myles, I’ve always loved you. Even the broken parts of you, my Peter Pan. I just need you to promise me that whatever happens you won’t treat me like I’m breakable. I need you to be my equal partner. We need to navigate hardships together.”
He takes his thumb and swipes at my tears. “I swear. Fuck, Tink, I love you so much.” He presses a kiss to my lips.
“I love you, too.”
He wraps me up in a strong hug.
“I would get you undressed, but your brother is going to be here in, like, ten minutes, and Sloane is on her way home, too. We are doing Christmas right this year.” He stands from the couch and looks at the tree. He sighs. “It’s perfect.”
“You’re perfect.” I realize how much he probably needs to hear those words, too.
He gazes at me with tenderness and love. “I bought these ornaments the day we went shopping. I’m looking forward to so many Christmases with you.”
Warmth fills me, and I sigh. Even then, he’d been thinking about our future.
“They’re beautiful.” We stare quietly at the Christmas tree, until there’s another knock on the door.
“That must be Oli.” Myles’s voice is raspy.
“I can’t believe Sloane knew you were doing this and didn’t say anything.” I turn to go open the door for my brother.
“She’s a good friend,” Myles answers.
Oli’s got a puffy jacket on, and the Santa sweater peeks from underneath. He’s also carrying a bunch of gifts, including the ones I bought and left at his apartment. “I’m so sorry, Flynny. I was an asshole.”
“Come here.” I wrap my arms around his neck and kiss his cheek.
“Shit.” The presents go flying out of his hands. Myles walks over to pick them up.
Oli blows out a breath. “You aren’t mad?” he asks.
“I’m very mad. Don’t ever try to protect me like that again. I’m not made of glass. I need to be there for you as much as you are for me.”
“I know.” His tone is filled with regret. “I sometimes envy how strong you are.”
“You are amazing. I think you underestimate yourself. Look at you. You could have let it all go after the accident, but you stayed focused and made yourself a superstar. Not many people could have coped with that kind of pressure or put their sister through an Ivy League education.” I smile, and tears swell in my eyes.
“Get over here.” He wraps me in one of his bear hugs, practically cutting off my circulation. “Please don’t cry.”
“I can’t breathe,” I croak.
“Sorry.” He releases me.
I take a breath.
“I’m starved. Where’s Shorty?” Oli asks, and I giggle because some things never change.
Sloane walks through the door. I have her sweater all ready and wrapped because I didn’t give it to her yet. “I see all is well,” she says. She’s wearing a pair of yoga pants and a tank top under her winter jacket.
“Did they tape a Christmas special with you in yoga pants?” I ask, confused.
She snorts. “Shit…” She looks to the guys for help. They both shrug. “Turds,” she curses them.
“We taped the special yesterday. I went to the gym and asked you to make Tofurkey so you wouldn’t figure out what’s going on,” she admits, giving me a deer in the headlights look.
“To clarify. You didn’t want to eat Tofurkey?” I ask, lifting my forefinger in the air.
“Uh! No.” She nods her head. “I don’t like Tofurkey,” she confesses. I roll my eyes at her, and she walks over to give me a hug. When I embrace her, she whispers in my ear, “All good?”
“Yeah, better than good.”
“Can we eat?” My brother cuts in as he glares at the food trays in the kitchen.
I give him a look that says have some patience.
He shrugs. “I’m hungry. You know how I get when I’m hungry.”
I punch him in the shoulder.
“I’m starved,” Myles chimes in, and I roll my eyes at him playfully. He swats me on the ass.
“I need to give Sloane her sweater, then we eat.” I run back to her room, where I have my stuff piled in a corner, and grab her sweater, so we can all match as we eat.
“For me?” she squeals when I present her with her gift.
“Don’t get too excited, Shorty. It’s the same sweater we’re all wearing,
I bet.” Oli winks at her, and she flushes. I figure this is going to be a long night for Sloane, since she has a crush on my brother.
She rips the wrapping open and puts on the sweater over her tank top.
“This is awesome. Now, feed me.” She rubs her hands together and makes her way to the kitchen. We all follow her.
We get to work opening the foil trays, unveiling turkey with cranberry stuffing, roast beef, potatoes, grilled vegetables, and all kinds of fancy salads. We sit at the kitchen table even though there’s barely room for our plates with all the food containers.
“Did you think we’d be holed up in here for two weeks?” I ask Myles playfully, because there is no way we can finish all this food.
“Nah, I figured we could head to the homeless shelter and bring them all the leftovers.” I’m all melty now.
“I love you, Myles Sanders,” I say, placing my hand on his. I don’t care that my brother is sitting here with us, because it doesn’t feel awkward at all.
Sloane stops eating and holds her heart. “Kids that was beautiful,” she mocks, but the emotion in her eyes tells me she’s happy for us.
“Right?” Oli looks at Sloane, then back at us. “That is fucking awesome. I’m happy for you two.” Oli’s voice isn’t swoony at all. He sounds more like a charged-up hockey player than a man overcome with emotion, but I figure he’ll get there eventually. He and Sloane look at each other. They are clearly just playing around.
Myles whispers, “I love you, too.”
After dinner, we sit around the tree while Myles forces us to sing a few Christmas songs. Sloane hits a few high notes that have Oli rolling on the floor.
“Time for spiked eggnog,” Sloane cheers.
“You mean you haven’t drunk anything yet?” Oli says, clearly poking fun at her.
“Very funny, Oliver.” She gives him the stink eye and grabs the eggnog from the fridge.
“To family and friends,” Myles toasts. The four of us clink our glasses together, and Myles presses a kiss to my lips. He clearly doesn’t care about PDA in front of my brother anymore.
We all pose for pictures in our Santa sweaters and then take a few selfies.
Myles posts one of our pictures on his Twitter feed along with the Tweet: Christmas with my girl. It makes me swoon.
“After the shelter, you’re coming home with me? Yeah?” Myles kisses me again. I nod not wanting to break away from him.
“Cut that shit out,” my brother whines. “Are we heading out to the shelter now?” he asks, looking at us.
Sloane gazes down at her outfit. “I should probably go change.”
“Why? You look good to me,” Oli says matter-of-factly, and Sloane’s cheeks turn pink.
The guys pack up the food while Sloane and I head to her bedroom. I change into a pair of jeans since I was basically wearing pajama pants.
“All good?” Oli asks when we come back out, holding a stack of food trays in his hand.
“Yup,” I answer, and Sloane and I follow them out the door.
In the elevator, Myles tilts his head toward me. “This Christmas is going down as my best ever,” he says, and as much as those words break my heart, because he missed so many things growing up, it also mends my broken parts because I know Myles and I are in this for the long haul.
Chapter Thirty-Eight
Myles
I adjust my tux and gaze in the mirror. Then I slip my wallet into my coat pocket.
“Flynn, you ready?” I call out. I don’t know what’s taking her so long, but we can’t be late. I am searching for my cell phone and keys, even though I’m not driving, when I sense her standing a few feet away. I look up, and I lose my bearings as I stumble backward, my palm moving over my heart to make sure it’s still there.
“Say something.” Her hands twitch in front of her.
“You’re stunning,” I answer, a little breathless.
“That’s a good start.” She cocks a brow and stalks toward me. The blush-colored gown shifts over her curves, holding her body like a glove. The dress is pale against her milky skin. Her blond hair is blown out and curled at the ends as she sways her hips.
“I have something for you.” I pat my tuxedo jacket nervously, hoping I didn’t misplace her gift with all the nerves brewing inside me.
“Are you going to tell me where we are going?” she asks. I presented her with this dress a few days ago and told her to take the night off and to go to the hairdresser or whatever it is women do before a formal night out and pamper herself.
“Not yet,” I say as I remove the jewelry box from the inner pocket of my tux. Her blue eyes sparkle. “I got you a little something.” I open it to show her the diamond necklace and earrings nestled inside.
She gasps. “Myles, this is too much.” I place the necklace around her neck, and she fingers the diamonds.
I press a kiss to the spot between her neck and shoulders.
“Nothing is too much for you,” I whisper against her skin. “I’ll leave you to do the earrings.”
She gives me a heated look.
“What?” I ask.
“You look so hot in that tux.” She bites her lower lip.
“Like what you see, do you?” I straighten my shoulders and puff out my chest for effect.
“Very much.” She continues to sink her teeth into that plump lower lip, and I fight to keep my dick from going half-mast. It’s a losing battle.
“Keep looking flushed, and you’re going to show up to the party looking thoroughly fucked,” I answer, my tone deep and commanding. This woman can get a rise out of me, that is for sure.
“Would that be so bad?” She bats her lashes. She’s playing hardball.
“For where we are going, yes.” I adjust my pants.
“You won’t tell me, so I don’t know. I’m not one for surprises,” she says as I take her hand. She grabs her clutch from the table at the entrance to the condo, and we head outside, where Oli is already waiting beside the limousine.
“Took you long enough,” he complains.
“Don’t look at me. Look at her.” I shrug toward Flynn.
“You look beautiful.” Oli smiles and gives her a kiss on the cheek. “Did you get Shorty her dress?” he asks her.
“I did,” Flynn answers, adjusting her dress so it doesn’t wrinkle in the limousine. “I don’t like that you won’t tell me where we are going.”
Oli chuckles. “You’ll live.”
Twins, I think to myself, you gotta love them.
It seems we drive forever before the driver stops in front of Sloane’s building. Sloane enters the car in a formal emerald-green gown, and I watch my best friend’s eyes glimmer with a heat that is all too familiar.
The driver heads out toward our destination.
“What are these two up to?” Sloane asks Flynn.
“Wish I knew.” She shrugs, seeming so at ease. Flynn likes to be in control. She needs to know her next steps before they happen. The fact that she has placed her trust in me tonight means everything.
Twenty minutes later, the driver pulls up to the entrance of the venue where the gala is being held. Flynn peers out the window to see where she is and reads the big sign by the front door.
She looks back to me with tears in her eyes, but she gets out of the car. I take her by the arm and guide her through the entrance. Oli follows with Sloane on his arm. We are all quiet as the gravity of where we are weighs us down and lifts us up.
“You clean up nice, Shorty.” Oli winks. “Knew that color would look amazing on you. Matches your eyes,” he says as he adjusts his crotch. In my head I confirm that my friend has it bad. I will have to share with Flynn later, because she worries about him a lot.
Sloane smiles to Oli. “Aw! And here I thought you didn’t have a sweet bone in your body, Oliver,” she says sarcastically, causing a rough chuckle to escape my throat. I look over to Flynn, and she’s noticed their flirtatious banter, too. She seems pleased.
As we pass th
rough the door, I read over the sign, even though I approved the final version of it. It says: Fundraising Gala Dinner for MADD (Mothers Against Drunk Drivers) 2018. Hosted by Oliver Russell and Myles Sanders in honor of Kevin and Patricia Russell.
“It’s really amazing that you and Myles do this,” Sloane says, looking up at Oli. It plagues me that Flynn is still quiet.
As we walk inside the hall where the gala is being held, I notice most of the guests are still mingling while hors d’oeuvres and wine are being served. When I gaze at Flynn, she looks shell-shocked. I just pray that it wasn’t a mistake bringing her here tonight.
…
Flynn is quiet, maybe too quiet. It’s unlike her, so I don’t know how to gauge the situation. I proposed the idea of this fundraiser to Oli last year when he was traded to Chicago, and this is the second year we are holding the event. In the past, the lie and our fear kept both Oli and I from inviting Flynn. Now I want to show her I’m sharing every part of myself. I just wish she would say something. The fact that she hasn’t run away and is still holding my arm is reassuring.
After we’ve schmoozed around the entrance for a good hour, the main doors to the hall open. She squeezes my hand, and I do the same to her.
We take our seats beside Oli and Sloane at the head table, along with some other survivors and the National Board of Directors of MADD USA. The evening begins with a speech from the CEO. Flynn’s attention is solely on the woman. I can tell she’s hanging onto each word she says, from the yearly statistics to new awareness projects in high schools. It’s not until the first victim, a paraplegic in a wheelchair, comes up to the microphone that Flynn pulls her gaze from the man and stares wide-eyed back and forth between me and Oli.
“Hello, my name is Lucas. I’m twenty-eight years old. When I was seventeen I was heading home with my parents after a basketball game. My dad was driving the car. My little sister and I were in the back seat. My mother had just turned around to smile at my sister when out of nowhere there was a crash. I woke up in the hospital to news my parents had been killed.” Lucas pauses to take a breath.
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