Just the other day, though, I realized that it was gone. I don’t know what happened to it. I guess it fell out.
It’s no big deal, but for some reason I thought I should tell you what happened. Just in case, you know, someone we know finds the letter and writes to you.
With another two paragraphs, Kirsten ended the letter.
Hannah read it twice more, trying unsuccessfully to pretend that she wasn’t worried about Kirsten’s story.
Surely, nothing could have happened to that letter. It would be ridiculous to imagine that the letter could have fallen out and somehow gotten into Trent’s hands.
But if it did . . . then he now had her address.
He could have found her. Which might prove that she wasn’t losing her mind after all.
Saturday, July 30
By the following Saturday, Hannah was starting to believe that she was going to only feel safe when she was away from her house.
Things at home had gotten worse. Her mother was working longer hours and her father seemed to be spending the majority of the day sitting in his easy chair in the living room.
He was often chilled, which meant he had taken to constantly burning logs in their fireplace. It made their small house smell like they were in the middle of a campfire as well as uncomfortably warm.
And while Ben was acting far more understanding and kind around her, he wasn’t around as much. He’d taken a part-time job at a dairy farm nearby. He’d also convinced their parents to allow him to enroll in the local Amish school. Now he left the house at dawn and rarely returned before sunset.
Jenny was another story. She was only around to do her chores and sleep. Otherwise, she was gone, freely ignoring Hannah’s attempts to control her or to help her with her studies. But her absence was better than her moody, restless disposition and sarcastic comments.
Though Hannah was a bit busier with the sandwich sale coming up, she now had far more free time than she’d had in years. She spent a lot of time wondering what to do with herself and dwelling on the past, even though she knew that wasn’t healthy.
Each person in her family, in their own way, had abandoned her. She was now as alone as she’d ever been, only this time it wasn’t by choice. Each morning, Hannah made breakfast, picked up around the house, and worked on laundry or other tasks that needed to be done. Then she either cared for her father or debated about whether to leave the house.
Some days were better than others. Some days, she was able to go through several hours without thinking about Trent or dwelling on the past. Other times, the shadows that she thought she saw would overpower her thoughts and she would be reduced to staying inside and staring out the window. Wishing things were different, but having no idea how to make them any different.
Her only bright spot had become Isaac. Like clockwork, he’d come by the house every afternoon. Together, they’d sit on her front porch or go on a short walk. She’d encourage him to talk to her about his siblings or his job.
And she would pretend she was far more normal than she actually was.
That morning, he’d picked her up and taken her to another meeting for the fund-raiser. When they’d arrived, everyone had gotten right to work.
BECAUSE OF THAT, the meeting had quickly evolved into a fun get-together.
After visiting with the women for a while, Hannah had noticed a large hutch in the back of their hosts’ yard. John and Karen happened to raise rabbits. After making sure that Karen didn’t mind if she wandered out to see them, Hannah walked over.
The rabbits were big and super soft, and though they lived in hutches, they seemed as happy to be around people as most house cats.
“Would you like to hold one?” one of Karen’s younger sisters asked. “They like to be held.”
“Sure.”
“Here you go,” the blond-haired girl said, handing her a pudgy dark-chocolate bunny. “This is Hershey.”
Hannah held her close, enjoying the way her nose twitched as she looked at her curiously. “Aren’t you sweet?” she murmured.
After smiling at her, the girl wandered off. Hannah sat down on the ground and petted the bunny.
Looking across the yard, she caught Maggie’s eye. Maggie smiled at her but didn’t approach.
Things really were going okay.
No one had looked at her like she was strange or asked her intrusive questions about her past or why she’d spent so much time alone when she’d first moved to Munfordville.
Instead, they seemed eager to get to know the person she was, without judgments.
Hannah was extremely grateful for that. Ever since Trent had left her that packet at the restaurant, Hannah had been doubting herself. Her family’s impatience with her had exacerbated this. That, combined with the ever-present feeling that she was being watched, had made her wonder if everything that had happened was her fault.
Maybe she’d brought on Trent’s actions somehow, though she’d had no idea what she’d done. Maybe she really was clinging to what had happened in some misguided attempt for attention. Why else would she have reacted to those daisies the way she had?
Why else would she have been so disturbed by Jenny cutting up the flowers and stems when no one else had?
She was tired of revisiting her past and wishing things were different, especially since Isaac had seemed to consume her thoughts.
Walking to her side, Isaac was making no secret that he was amused by her fascination with the rabbit.
“I would have thought a sensible girl like you would have no patience for a chocolate-colored bunny, Hannah. But you can’t seem to stop fussing with it.” Looking like he was fighting off laughter, he said, “Don’t tell me you didn’t have rabbits up in Ohio, either.”
“Lots of folks had rabbits, for sure. Just not me.” Knowing he had a point, she laughed at herself. “Besides, I’m not actually fussing with her.”
“No?”
“No. I’m cuddling her,” she countered. “How could I not? She’s so sweet.”
He reached out and ran a finger down the rabbit’s neck. “She is. Soft, too. Maybe you need one for yourself.”
“Maybe, though raising a rabbit surely isn’t a sensible undertaking. It’s not like I could train it to do much.”
He tilted his head to one side as he studied her. “I don’t see what that matters. Sometimes a person just needs something because it makes him or her happy.”
“That is true if one is a child.”
“I think it’s true at any age.” He waited a beat, then continued, his voice turning lower. “I’m of the mind that you’ve been through enough hardship. If something makes you happy, you should reach for it.”
“Even if it’s chocolate bunnies?”
“Jah. Even if it’s bunnies.”
There had been something new in his voice. Something lilting and caring. Part of her wanted to reach out to him. She wanted to feel his rough, warm hand against hers. She wanted to reach out and hug him.
She was sure that his arms around her would comfort her in a way nothing else seemed to.
At the very least, it would alleviate the chill that seemed to have taken hold of her heart. To tell him all about her fears and share the worries she was experiencing. But what if he thought she was being ridiculous? What if he was so disturbed by her thoughts that he, too, pulled away from her?
Then she would be left even more alone. She didn’t think she could take that. No, she knew she couldn’t.
“Hey.”
“What?” Startled, Hannah glanced at him. When she saw he was staring at her curiously, she flushed. “Goodness. I’m sorry, I guess my mind drifted. I didn’t mean to be rude.”
“I didn’t think you were being rude. I was worried about you. Are you okay? I thought I lost you there for a second.”
“Maybe you did.” She chuckled softly, hoping it didn’t sound as forced as she felt it did. “I was just thinking about something that happened recently.”
“Wan
t to talk about it? I’m a good listener.”
“Nee.”
He took a step back. “Okay . . .”
“I’m sorry.” She attempted to smile in order to ease the tension that had risen between them. “It’s just . . . well, what I was thinking wasn’t very good. There are some things that have been going on at home that I can’t seem to stop thinking about. It’s certainly nothing for you to worry about.”
“Are you worried about Jenny?” When she stared at him in surprise, he shrugged. “Sorry. I guess my family talks too much. Ben said something to Sam about your sister. Sam mentioned it last night when we were eating supper.”
She was torn between being curious about what he’d heard and feeling disappointed that, in her own family, dinner discussions like that were a thing of the past.
Because Jenny was such a sore subject with her, and she didn’t want to taint this sweet moment with him with more of her problems, she shook her head. “There’s no need to apologize. I’m glad Ben is talking to Sam and that Sam is sharing things with you. But I wasn’t thinking about my sister.”
Seeing Maggie and some other women laughing as they were writing notes on notecards, Hannah got to her feet. “I think I’m going to go to see if those girls need any help.”
Turning to where she was looking, he grinned. “It looks like they certainly might. Do you still want to walk back home together?”
“I do.”
“I’ll come get you in about an hour.”
“Danke, Isaac.” She hoped he knew she was thanking him for more than just walking her home.
It was for everything. For not pressing her about all of her secrets. For easily accepting her flaws. It was also for giving her space while at the same time promising her that he was not going to leave her.
“I’m happy to walk with you anytime, Hannah,” he said softly.
She smiled at him again before walking over to the girls.
“Hannah!” Maggie cried out exuberantly. “Please tell me that you know how to make heads or tails of all these lists and people.”
“I might. I’m actually pretty good at organizing things.”
Karen looped her hand around Hannah’s elbow. “Girls, she’s ours to keep.”
When Hannah laughed at Karen’s exuberant claim, Maggie smiled at her with true warmth. “She’s right, you know. You’re stuck with us, Hannah Hilty. We might never let you go.”
“Gut!” She laughed again, truly enjoying the silly comments.
But the truth was that she didn’t want to leave their company. Here she felt accepted, loved. Safe.
CHAPTER 13
Saturday, July 30
Do you really think we’re going to be able to sell almost a thousand sandwiches?” Hannah asked Isaac as they walked down the road, back toward their houses.
Looking over at her, Isaac thought she looked cute. For once, she looked completely relaxed walking by his side. Almost as if he was the one person she could be herself with.
He liked that. He was also very glad that she’d forgiven him for his callous first impression.
And that their relationship was progressing forward. Every time they were together, Hannah seemed to joke and laugh a little bit more. She met his gaze more often. Smiled softly at him. They were becoming closer. Becoming a couple.
He had no idea where their relationship was headed. Maybe they would one day get married. Maybe they were destined to be just friends. Only the Lord knew that. How He wanted it to go, Isaac didn’t know. But it didn’t really matter, as long as he had Hannah’s friendship.
“I don’t know,” he replied. “A thousand is an awful lot of sandwiches. To be honest, I was thinking five hundred was a good number. But Maggie and Paul are hopeful and think it can be done. They make a good argument for trying, I think. Every bit will go toward a good cause.”
Her eyes widened. “If we charge ten dollars for each sandwich meal, that’s going to be ten thousand dollars!”
“I know. That’s a lot of money. Plus, sometimes folks even give a little bit more, since it’s for such a good cause. I have no idea how high their bills are, but I’m hopeful that our sale will put a sizable dent in their hospital bills.”
“I hope so.” Her voice turned soft. “I feel so badly for them. I would imagine that it’s hard enough to care for a new baby without wondering how they are going to pay for a surgery.”
Isaac thought her worried expression was sweet. Giving into temptation, he wrapped his arm around her shoulders, and gave her a little hug. When she looked up at him, he smiled encouragingly. “It’s a good thing we’re doing, Hannah. It’s good for them, and it’s good for all of us, too. I, for one, am guilty of worrying so much about my own problems that I forget that many people have far greater problems on their plates.”
“Amen to that.”
“Now all we have to hope is that you are an early riser. Are you?”
“Of course I am.”
“You said that awfully quickly,” he teased. “So quickly, I’m wondering if I should believe you.”
“That’s smart of you.” Looking embarrassed, she said, “You found out my secret. Even though most Amish girls are supposed to like to rise with the sun, that ain’t me.”
“It’s not, hmm?”
“Not at all. Oh, I’ll get up, but I’m never too easy about it. It’s a lengthy process.”
“I’m just the opposite. I wake up with the sun, ready for the day.”
She rolled her eyes. “Show off.”
“What do you need in order to get you going?” he asked, liking their easy, irreverent conversation. “Lots of coffee or a full breakfast? A rooster calling?”
“Just a cup of kaffi.”
He couldn’t resist teasing her some more. “Just one?”
“All right. It’s more like two or three cups.” She shrugged. “I don’t know why I need that caffeine, but I do.”
“I’ll arrive at your house on Saturday with a coffee cup from Calvin’s. It will give me an excuse to stop in and get a couple of sausage biscuits.” Calvin’s was his favorite coffee shop.
“You don’t have to do that,” she said around a giggle. “I promise, I’ll have had plenty of coffee before you arrive. I’ll be ready with bells on.”
“I don’t mind. It’s the least I can do after roping you into this project. Especially since we’ll need to leave at five in the morning.”
“Leave at five? Oh, brother. In that case, yes, please bring me some of your Calvin kaffi, Isaac Troyer. And maybe one of those sausage biscuits, too.”
She sounded so aggrieved, he burst out into laughter. “It’s so kind of you to give in to my offer so gracefully.”
Her cheeks flushed. “You really don’t mind, do you?”
“Of course not. I’m just teasing ya.” He was about to tease her some more, just to hear her giggle and watch her eyes light up with mischief, when he saw movement in the woods next to them. It looked like a man wearing a white shirt and denims. A man who had been keeping pace with them.
Curious, he stopped and craned his head, hoping to catch sight of whatever he saw again.
Hannah turned around when she realized he wasn’t still by her side. “Isaac? What’s wrong?”
“Nothing. I . . . well, I could have sworn I saw someone just on the other side of that line of trees.”
“No one could be there.” Stepping closer to him, a new thread of doubt entered her tone. “Could they?”
“Well, sure. Someone could be on the path.” When she looked confused, he added, “That’s where the old walking path is. The one that you were walking on the first day we met. Remember? It’s filled with rosebushes, poison ivy, and oak. No one walks there who knows better.”
She shivered. “I sure learned my lesson. I didn’t get poison ivy, but I got a good amount of scratches and scrapes on my arms. And a slew of prickers on my shoelaces.”
“That’s why no one ever goes over there unless it’s in the middle
of winter.”
He kept his eyes glued to the woods, looking for any discrepancy or any trace of color that shouldn’t be there. No luck, though. Maybe it had been his imagination.
Beside him, Hannah was looking even more agitated. “I bet it was just somebody taking a shortcut.”
“I bet you’re right,” he murmured, though he knew what he saw. He knew the woods and surrounding areas well. He’d also had a lifetime of hunting in his back pocket. He was used to looking for the slightest slip of movement.
Scanning the woods again, he let his gaze relax. He hoped that would allow him to see the whole area better, as well as being able to spot the white fabric sticking out like a sore thumb.
“Can we go, Isaac?”
Surprised by how panicked she sounded, he stared at her more closely. Hannah had a faint coating of perspiration on her forehead and upper lip. She was frightened.
“Of course,” he said, wrapping an arm around her shoulders again as he guided her forward.
This time he let it stay while they walked. She was shaking and scared. When she leaned closer to him, he felt like he’d accomplished something important.
She was trusting him now.
“It’s going to be all right,” he soothed. “I bet it was nothing. I’m sorry if I scared you.”
“You didn’t scare me,” she began before shaking her head impatiently. “I mean, yes, that did scare me, but it wasn’t your fault. If you saw someone, I’m glad you told me. I don’t ever want to be kept in the dark about things like this.”
That comment concerned him. “Were you kept in the dark before? Did someone know about this man’s interest in you and not tell you?”
“Nee. At least, I don’t think so. I guess it was just a feeling I had.” Pulling away from his embrace, she looked into his eyes. “I was blindsided, Isaac. That’s the only way I can describe it. I went from talking to Trent, to seeing him a couple of times, to telling him that I was sure things between us wouldn’t work out. I thought he agreed.”
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