Her Secret

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by Shelley Shepard Gray

“Wow.”

  Jenny stilled. “Why are you looking at me like that? Do you not believe that men can be stalkers or something?”

  His eyes widened. “No, it’s not that. I was just thinking that for a while there, I thought you were facing the same kind of situation.”

  His comment seemed like it came out of nowhere. “I’ve never even had a boyfriend. I don’t know any boy well enough for him to want to start following me around or causing me trouble.”

  “Yeah. I guess not.”

  But there was something in his voice that made her think he was keeping a thought to himself. “You sure?”

  “Yeah. It sounds so stupid now.” Looking sheepish, he said, “See, for a while there, I thought Shane was your stalker.”

  A shudder went through her. “Shane? Why would you say that?”

  “He was always looking for you. He wanted to know all about you, too. Especially things like how often you were coming in here, and where else you went.”

  “He . . . he did all that?”

  Cole shrugged. “Listen, I’m probably making too much of everything. You should just ignore me.”

  “Nee, I’m glad you are sharing, Cole.” As a stronger feeling of foreboding coursed through her, she asked hesitantly, “Um, when Shane asked you those things, what would you tell him?”

  “Nothing much. I mean, it’s not like I knew your schedule or knew where you were all the time. But it was odd, you know? Sometimes he’d say a certain word or look a little panicked or on edge. It was like he was really missing you. And your sister, too, of course.”

  “My sister?” It was a struggle to keep her voice steady. “He asked about Hannah?”

  “Well, yeah.” He shrugged. “But I guess that’s normal, on account of him and her being such good friends and all.”

  She felt a wave of uneasiness but pushed it away. Surely, the things she was thinking couldn’t be true. “He must have been really confused. My sister has never met Shane.”

  Cole pushed his glasses back up the bridge of his nose. “Sure she did. I might not have known where you were, but I remember my conversations with him. Why, Shane talked about Hannah all the time.”

  “What did he say?”

  “He said they used to be real close in Berlin. That she hung out in the library there, too. Just like you are, here. It must be a pattern with you Hilty girls,” he teased.

  Warning bells went off inside her. “He knew that Hannah liked the library?”

  “Oh, for sure.” He paused, drummed his hands on his knee. “Shane said he used to go to the restaurant where she worked. He missed her.” He smiled, looking a little embarrassed. “I don’t know why I’m telling you all of this now.”

  “I wish you would have told me he said all that earlier.”

  “I don’t know why I didn’t.” Cole flushed. “I guess I was a little jealous, if you want to know the truth. He knew you so well, it made me think I would never have a chance with you.”

  “That’s sweet of you to say, but I didn’t know him well.”

  A line formed between his brows. “Sure you did. He knew everything about Hannah, and he told me that he intended to know you real well, too.”

  “He never talked to me about Hannah,” she said slowly. “When did you see him last?”

  “Yesterday. He said he had a delivery to make, then he was going to get out of here for a couple of days.”

  Jenny felt like her heart was about to stop. “He had a delivery?”

  “Jah. Then, he asked me to tell ya that he hadn’t forgotten about you. Just in case you were worried that he had, or something.”

  She pressed a hand to her chest. “Just in case,” she whispered.

  Cole stepped closer. “Were you worried about that, Jenny?” he asked. “Have you gotten really close?”

  “Nee! I—I mean, I already decided I didn’t like hanging out with him,” she said in a choked voice. “He was kinda old.”

  “Does this mean that the two of us can now hang out together? Because I would like that.”

  “Sure. Of course we can. I’d like that, too. You are a really nice person, Cole. I’m sorry I didn’t act friendly from the start.”

  Just as Cole was about to tell her something else, his focus shifted to something behind her. “Sorry, but I gotta go. Those are some buddies of mine. They’ve been waiting for me outside. I guess they got tired of waiting.”

  Jenny turned to see a group of four Amish boys all standing next to the open door and grinning at Cole like they were very amused by something he was doing. When they noticed her looking at them, the tallest one waved. She smiled at him and waved back, just as the librarian folded her arms over her chest and glared at the teenaged interlopers.

  Cole jumped to his feet. “Uh-oh. Miss Landry’s gonna get mad. I better get them out of here. See you later.”

  “Okay.”

  After he took about four or five steps, he turned back to her. “Hey, will I see you at the sandwich sale?”

  “I guess so. Are you going to go?”

  He smiled. “Of course. It’s a lot of fun. It’s not just sandwiches, you know. They usually offer quilts and other items to auction off. One time, it was two tickets on a Pioneer Trails bus to Pinecraft.”

  “Wow. It sounds like a lot of fun.”

  “Jah. Everyone goes. It’s a good way to see everyone, too. And it would be a real good opportunity for you to meet some more people. Wouldn’t it?” He edged away a little further, then blurted, “Jenny, would you like to go with me and my friends?”

  Nodding, she smiled. “Danke.”

  “Want to meet here?”

  “Can I just meet you there? I’ll probably be with Ben.”

  “Sure. I’ll look for you on Saturday.”

  “Cole Woods, stop talking,” Miss Landry called out.

  He blushed. “Sorry, Miss Landry,” he said as he put on his hat. “Bye, Jenny. See you then.”

  She raised her hand. “Jah. See you then. And danke. Now you had better go before Miss Landry gets really mad.”

  “Yeah, you’re right.” He smiled again, this time even sweeter.

  She smiled back, though she didn’t know if she’d ever felt so sick to her stomach without having the flu.

  After he walked out the door, Jenny groaned.

  Miss Landry glared at her.

  “Sorry,” Jenny said and wandered to the book stacks, then headed toward a back corner where the librarian always stored a stepping stool. When she got to it, she sat down and reveled in the small sense of privacy she found there. Of the many times she’d come here and sought refuge in the stacks, no one had ever come around and bothered her. It was her own secret hiding place.

  Now that she was certain that she wasn’t being watched, Jenny rested her head in her hands and her elbows on her knees. She was essentially in a small ball. And she was glad of it. She would’ve hugged herself if she could.

  Because everything that she was thinking wasn’t good. Shane had seemed happy to get to know her. She’d been grateful for his attentions and sometimes had talked too much.

  Now she realized that he’d encouraged her to talk about herself. He’d asked her questions about her family and about their old life in Berlin. He’d been so interested, and she’d been flattered.

  But now she realized that he might have simply been using her to get even more information about Hannah.

  She’d always assumed that she’d known who Trent was. But maybe she hadn’t known him at all. After all, her parents had kept him a secret as much as they could.

  And Hannah had acted like she never wanted to talk about Trent ever again.

  Because of that, Jenny had imagined him to be a scary-looking sort of man. Difficult. Violent. But today, when Hannah had talked in the police station, Jenny had realized that Trent hadn’t been like that at all. At first, he’d been nice and eager to please. Friendly and a good listener.

  A lot like Shane.

  No, exactly like S
hane.

  She might have been jumping to conclusions. Maybe she really was. Maybe Shane and Trent were two different people.

  Maybe.

  But if they weren’t, then Jenny had done something completely unforgivable.

  She’d allowed her sister’s stalker into their lives again. Why, she’d practically gripped his hand and pulled him in. And now they were all paying the price.

  CHAPTER 19

  Tuesday afternoon, August 9

  The fish weren’t biting. Isaac figured that was just as well. He had a lot on his mind, and he would much rather attend to his worries than reel in some unlucky fish.

  But as one hour passed into two, Isaac still wasn’t sure what to do about Hannah. He wanted to protect her and solve all her problems at the same time.

  He also felt the need to analyze his feelings for her. He wasn’t exactly proud of this, but everything about Hannah caught him off guard. He’d never met a woman who was so complicated. Learning about her past and the things that she’d had to deal with was eye opening. He felt naïve next to her.

  Part of him also wondered if he was a good match for her. After all, he was basically a simple man. He had lived in one town all of his life and had a job that he’d learned from a trusted uncle. Until he’d met Hannah, most of his worries had revolved around his family or a small, select group of people he knew well.

  Now he was going to sheriff’s office and conversing about stalkers and photographs and laws and restraining orders. It wasn’t that he blamed Hannah for any of it. He didn’t.

  But he also wasn’t sure if he wanted to tackle such worldly problems. Even thinking of such things made him feel guilty.

  “I canna decide if you are getting the best of the fish or those fish are getting the best of you,” his father called out.

  Turning to watch his father approach through the weeds and grass in his thick-soled leather boots, Isaac said, “I’d say it was the fish, though I’m not real anxious to clean any.”

  His father chuckled. “You never have been, boy.” Walking to his side, he held out a hand. “Give me that rod and reel. I might as well catch us some supper while we talk.”

  Though Isaac wasn’t all that sure he wanted to sit on the creek bed and chat with his father, he handed off the pole without argument. Once his father claimed the fishing pole, he reeled it in, checked the hook, then at last released the line with a smooth flick of his wrist. Mamm always said that Daed could make a good amount of money teaching others to fly-fish, but Daed had always said it wasn’t the job for him.

  Isaac had wondered if he was more worried about the teaching or the fact that he would turn his favorite hobby into a job.

  After a few minutes, his father pulled out a familiar blue-and-red wrapper, opened it up, and popped a piece of gum in his mouth. “Don’t tell Mamm,” he said before chomping down with a look of pure bliss.

  Isaac shifted but said nothing. The fact was that their mother knew Daed liked his Bazooka bubble gum. She’d always known it for as long as Isaac could remember.

  Years ago, she’d confided to Isaac and Maggie that their father had once had a powerful addiction to chewing tobacco. He’d started chewing gum as a way of ending that addiction. However, now he was as addicted to that as he’d been to the tobacco.

  It remained his father’s secret, hidden vice. No one in the family had ever had the desire to ruin his secret, so they’d all pretended that it wasn’t happening.

  After another five minutes passed in silence, Daed reeled in the line, then swung it out again.

  The hook and line flew out over the creek like a fragile bird in flight, plunging into the rolling creek with a small splash.

  “You know, it always surprises me when I find you here, Isaac. I would have thought you would have found an activity that you liked better, to help you clear your mind.”

  “I don’t dislike fishing, Daed.”

  “It’s just that you don’t like it much. Come now. We know it’s more than just an aversion to cleaning scales.”

  Isaac laughed. “You’re right. But it does relax me. I like the quiet.”

  “Me, too,” Daed said as he swung out his arm again, smiling as the line made a perfect arc. After blowing a bubble, he cracked his gum and settled back in. “This is why I never wanted to give fishing lessons. Here, on the creek bed, I can do what I want. I can blow bubbles, watch the water, and listen and watch all the beauty that the Lord has given me.”

  His father’s comment had a lot of truth to it. With a start, Isaac realized that it had a lot to do with what he’d been thinking about when his father had walked up. “We are blessed. Sometimes I fear that I take it all for granted.”

  “You sound bothered by that.”

  “I’m not. But I don’t want to forget to count my blessings.”

  “We’d all be walking around with silly smiles on our faces if we only thought about how good things were all the time,” his father said with a grimace. “And that would make us all look ridiculous. Ain’t so?”

  Isaac bit back a smile of his own. “Indeed, Father.”

  “It’s not taking something for granted if you are feeling happy with your life.”

  “I guess you heard about what I did today. What Sam and I did.”

  His father’s gum cracked. “You heading up to the sheriff’s office? Jah, I might have heard something about that.”

  “Are you upset that I took Samuel there? I suppose I should have asked you or Mamm for permission.”

  “Have you met your brother? I don’t believe he would have stayed behind unless we locked him in his room. Besides, he was old enough.”

  “I’ve been sitting here thinking about Hannah and her siblings.”

  “And about her note?”

  “Yes. And the pictures she received.”

  “Some had you in them, I hear,” he said lightly.

  “Jah.”

  Daed reeled in the line, then with a flick of his wrist, cast off again. “I don’t know if I’ve ever had my picture taken.”

  “I’d be lying if I didn’t take a good look at myself.”

  His father grinned. “What did you see?”

  Isaac thought about that. “A man. A man who’s bigger than I thought I was.”

  “That is who I see, too. I see you as strong and able, son. Maybe even a good protector. Maybe even a man who is better than he thinks he is.”

  Isaac liked that description, though he wasn’t sure it fit him all that well. “Daed, I don’t know if I’m the right man for Hannah Hilty.”

  “You ain’t supposed to. That’s what courting is for, son.”

  “She is nice. And sweet. And pretty.”

  “She is mighty pretty. Dark hair and hazel eyes are a striking combination. She’s probably caused more than one man to take a look at her twice.”

  Isaac wasn’t too thrilled about that. “I think I might really like her. Nee, no, what I’m trying to say is that I do like her a lot.”

  “That’s gut. She is a nice Amish girl who lives close.”

  It would be so easy to act as if that was all that mattered to him. “I’m kind of worried that she has such a checkered past.”

  “Are you worried that she did something to deserve it?”

  “Not at all.” Thinking of that note, he shook his head for emphasis. “She didn’t deserve it at all, but . . .”

  “But you are wondering if you want to take on all of her problems.”

  Isaac exhaled. “Yes. That is exactly what I’m thinking. She’s also got a sick father. He has cancer.”

  “A lot for one girl to handle.”

  “Yes.” Isaac shifted, hating how he sounded but feeling like he needed to be completely honest. “I like her and I am sure that she likes me, too. But I don’t know if I am the man she needs. Maybe she needs someone more worldly.”

  “Yes, I can see how a man who has more experience with stalkers would be a better fit for Hannah.”

  Isaac gaped
at his father. “Sometimes you say the craziest things.”

  There went the fishing line again. “Do I? Huh.”

  “All right. I get it. I guess that was a stupid thing to say. How about this? I don’t know if I’m strong enough to take on all of her problems. I don’t know if I want to.”

  The line twitched. Looking pleased, his father stood up and reeled it in slowly, gently guiding it toward him with the patience that only an experienced fisherman could have.

  Isaac got to his feet as well. Watched the interplay between his father and that fish. Suddenly, the line jumped and the shadow of a bass slid away.

  His father spun the reel. The hook was there, but the bait was gone. “Wily fish,” his daed griped under his breath.

  His eyes were twinkling, though.

  “You don’t look too disappointed, Daed.”

  “Nee?” He rubbed his beard. “Well, I guess I’m not. That fish was a fighter. Maybe even a bit smarter than the average bass.”

  Isaac grinned. “That was surely the reason he was able to beat you at your own game.”

  “Exactly.” Daed methodically reeled in the rest of the line, straightening the thin fishing wire as he did so, inspecting it for snags.

  “Are you done?”

  “Jah. I think so. You’ve been out here a while. Your mother would probably like me to bring you home. Let’s gather our things together and do chores.” He paused. “And get Freeman out of her hair.”

  Isaac gathered up his cooler and net before taking the rod and reel from his father, disassembling it, then putting it back in its case. With a look of regret, his daed pulled out the gum wrapper, spit out his gum, then neatly folded it into a paper towel that he’d pulled out of a hidden pocket.

  When they started walking, Isaac noticed that his father looked just as relaxed and at peace as he had when he’d first joined him. Though that made him happy, Isaac knew his father well enough to know that he’d come to the creek to do more than almost catch a fish.

  “Hey, Daed?”

  “Hmm?”

  “Did you want to talk to me about something?”

  His father adjusted his straw hat so it shielded his eyes a little better. “I thought we already did talk, son.”

 

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