by Diana Palmer
“Where is Tnurat?” Caneese asked.
“Trying to restrain himself from choking the president of the Dectat.” Dtimun sighed. “I wanted to assist him, but he said that one member of the family, at least, should keep a cool head. He will be along momentarily.” He approached Jasmine and smiled. “Dr. Dupont,” he greeted. “Chacon speaks highly of you, as does my sister.”
“They’ve both been very gracious to me,” she said, smiling. She bowed. “It’s an honor to meet you, sir. You’re legendary among the Rojok.”
He chuckled. “Chacon and I have had some interesting encounters over the years as enemies. However, our friendship goes back to the Great Galaxy War, when we studied together at the military academy on Dacerius.”
“He spoke of that, as well,” she said.
“Rhemun and Edris will be here shortly,” Dtimun added. “Kipling is being spoken to very sternly about his marks.” He glanced at his mate with sparkling green eyes. “It appears that our sons have been helping him evade his study hour in the evening.”
“Again,” Madeline groaned.
Jasmine was listening with fascination. She’d been in awe of the Royal Clan for years, even through her resentments. It had never occurred to her that they were like any other family, with the same problems and concerns.
Dtimun glanced at Mekashe. “I believe you expressed an interest in the new pavilion we erected near the religious compound. Dr. Dupont might find it enlightening.”
Mekashe hesitated.
Madeline cleared her throat. Dtimun and Mekashe read her mind. Mekashe sighed.
“Very well, Lady Maltiche. If you are certain...?”
“Most certain,” she replied. She opened her wrist scanner and performed a function with the minicomp. Seconds later she beckoned to Jasmine. “Two ccs in the artery at the base of the neck,” she told her with a mischievous smile.
Jasmine frowned. “I don’t understand.”
“You will,” Madeline said.
The others waved them away.
Mekashe led the way outside, opening the door for Jasmine before they wandered into the bamboo forest toward a group of stone buildings in the near distance.
“What is this?” she asked him, indicating the discs she carried in her palm.
“Dravelzium,” he said shortly.
She frowned. “I remember. It’s used to sedate large animals.”
He turned to her. “Also to prevent mating behaviors in susceptible Cehn-Tahr,” he interrupted gruffly. He opened the collar of his uniform. “If you please.”
She hesitated just briefly before she pulled out a laserdot and put the dosage into the artery. “I don’t understand why it would be necessary,” she said stiffly. “You don’t have those sort of feelings for me. Not after what I did and said.”
He drew in a breath as the drug took effect. He fastened his collar. “Emotions are less easily controlled than you might imagine, even after such difficulties.”
She looked up into his somber blue eyes. She sighed. “I was so stupid.”
“You were, as Kanthor told you earlier, a cub,” he said. “Cubs cannot be held to the same standard as adults.”
Her face was sad. “I destroyed my father’s career and cost him his life because I was spoiled and thoughtless,” she said. “I’d give anything to go back and relive those days on the starliner.”
He moved a step closer. He touched her soft, flushed cheek with the tips of his fingers. “I should never have taken you with me to see my cousin in the gym,” he replied. “It was reckless. I knew that he abhorred the humanoid form we must effect in company of other races.”
She winced at the memory. “We were so close,” she said. “I know what you must have thought when I behaved as I did.” She lowered her eyes. “I can’t imagine the pain. I behaved like a spoiled child. At least, now I understand why things happened the way they did when we got to Memcache.”
“The emperor had deep regrets about your father,” Mekashe said. “Our laws are absolute, although many have been changed in the past few years. Until Madeline bonded with Dtimun, it was forbidden for a Cehn-Tahr to mate with any other species.”
“Yes, well, that law was probably one of the better ones,” she said heavily. “It would have caused many tragic deaths.”
He nodded solemnly. He studied her lovely face. “You humans are so fragile,” he said softly. He smiled sadly. “I had dreams. Not until after your father was sent home was I allowed to know the truth, and then I had it from Hahnson. We are not allowed to discuss intimate subjects among ourselves, rarely even with Clan intimates.”
“Dr. Hahnson has had a tragic life,” she said.
He nodded. “He never recovered from the loss of his mate.”
“He seems like a kind person.”
“He is. Although he, and many of the crew, harbored resentment for you when you first came on board the Morcai.” He chuckled softly. “The humans in the Holconcom think of themselves as Cehn-Tahr.”
“I deserved what I got,” she confessed.
“As I said, you were a child.” His face hardened. “Compared to me, a very small child.”
She searched his solemn blue eyes. “The memories were sweet. Even when I hated everyone, I couldn’t stop remembering.” She lowered her face. “I grieved for a long time.”
“As did I.” He smiled. “You kept the virtual Nagaashe,” he commented.
She grimaced. “Well, yes. It was all I had of happier times, when we were close.”
“I had the jeweled clip you wore in your hair, the night we went to the last concert aboard the starliner.”
Her eyebrows arched. “That clip... I thought I’d lost it!”
He shook his head and his eyes made a faint green laugh. “In fact you did. I found it on the steps that led to the second deck. I would have returned it, but after I was required to report back to the emperor, I could not bring myself to do it. As you said, it was a reminder of happy times.”
“Neither of us knew how hopeless things were.” She sighed.
“No. But I think it would have made no difference. We were very much alike.”
“Except that I was terrified of cats,” she murmured drily.
He cocked his head. “A fear you seem to have discarded.”
She nodded. “I had therapy when I first joined the Rojok military. They don’t have cats as religious objects, but there’s a form of sand cat that they’re very fond of. They keep virtual pets of it. I lost my fear of cats soon after I enlisted.”
“I should have been kinder to you, when you first came aboard the Morcai, but my resentments ate at me.”
“So did mine.” She touched the trunk of a nearby tree. “I was actively hostile. But after I learned the truth, people were kind. Especially Dr. Hahnson.”
“He knows how it feels,” he said simply.
“Yes, he does.”
He started walking again.
“It’s so beautiful here,” she said. “I remembered the holoroom where you showed me your villa. It was lovely.”
“We must make time to visit it, while we’re in port.”
She turned. “I would love that.”
He drew in a breath. “We might take Rhemun and Edris with us, however,” he said. “It would be unwise to venture too far alone together.”
She searched his eyes. “You haven’t given me anything. I haven’t accepted anything,” she added, recalling that gift-giving was a prelude to courtship.
He smiled sadly. “That would not matter, if I became careless with you.” His eyes darkened slightly. “Even touching can initiate it, when strong emotions are involved. Thanks to Hahnson’s drugs, I was able to touch you when we were aboard the starliner. But the drugs become less effective with long use. Even with the dravelzium, it would be reckless to become too...invo
lved with each other, physically. Once begun, the mating cycle is relentless and brutal. Past a certain point, control is lost. A Cehn-Tahr male, as I told you once, will kill any other male who comes close to the object of his interest.”
She bit her lower lip and moved forward. “Cehn-Tahr women are lovely,” she began.
“I have never been involved with any of them,” he replied. “Nor have I wished to be. Only one female has ever moved me to thoughts of a shared life.”
Her heart jumped. Of course, he might not mean her. But even as she processed the thought, she looked up at him and saw the helpless attraction in his face that found an echo in her own heart.
She felt the pain to the soles of her feet. “It’s so hopeless,” she said miserably.
He averted his eyes and fought for control. The dravelzium had a short life span. “Yes, it is. We should return to the others. It is unwise for us to remain here.”
She turned and walked beside him, subdued. “It’s probably a good thing that I’m stationed aboard a Rojok flagship and you’re confined to the Morcai.”
“I agree.”
They walked in silence.
* * *
WHEN THEY RETURNED to the Fortress, a tall Cehn-Tahr in the blue uniform of the Imperial Guard was standing beside a small blonde human female. Beside them was a tall boy with long, curly blond hair and blue eyes. Next to him was a little girl with black curly hair, laughing.
Mekashe smiled. “Rhemun and Edris.” He introduced them to his companion. “And their children, Kipling and Larisse. This is Dr. Jasmine Dupont.”
“You’re in the Rojok military!” Kipling said excitedly. “I’d love to hear some of your adventures, Doctor!”
She laughed. “I’d be delighted to tell you, although I don’t do much actual fighting. I’m a doctor.”
“So was Mom,” Kipling said.
Edris groaned. “I flunked out of combat school with the lowest grade in academy history,” she confessed. “I was better at being a doctor!” She laughed.
“I’m happy to meet all of you,” Jasmine said, smiling. “I’ve heard a lot about you from Mekashe.”
“Did he tell you that I can beat him with the Kahn-Bo?” Kipling asked excitedly. “Almost nobody else can!”
“Stop blowing your own horn, mister,” Edris chided.
“Okay, Mom,” he said. But he grinned and his eyes flashed green suddenly, the color of humor.
Jasmine’s surprise was obvious.
“I look like my mom, but I have a lot of Dad’s characteristics,” Kipling said, revealing that he read Jasmine’s thoughts.
“Amazing,” Jasmine said, and she wasn’t exaggerating.
“Too many, at times.” Rhemun chuckled.
“Are you coming in now?” Lady Caneese said from the door. “Cook almost has the meal ready, and we must dress.”
Jasmine ground her teeth together. “Oh dear...”
“We have a surprise.” Lady Caneese chuckled. “Come with me, if you please.”
Jasmine glanced at Mekashe, who still wore a faintly pained expression. She smiled at him, and then followed Lady Caneese inside.
* * *
“I’VE BEEN ASKED to pass something along,” Hahnson said to Mekashe when they were briefly alone after they’d dressed in contemporary finery for the meal. “By the emperor.”
“Oh?” Mekashe asked.
Hahnson looked around to make sure they weren’t attracting too much attention. “Holon.”
Mekashe frowned. “Excuse me?”
“Holon,” Hahnson repeated. “You know what it’s used for primarily, and why.” He waited until Mekashe got the message.
The Cehn-Tahr’s chiseled lips fell apart on an expulsion of breath. “But the other obstacles...”
“The primary one is the mating drive, which is alleviated by mating,” Hahnson said. “The holon would allow a relationship that was almost normal. Of course, there couldn’t be children.”
“That would not matter,” Mekashe said at once. “We both love them, but even that sacrifice would be preferable to a lifetime apart.”
“I thought you’d say that,” Hahnson said with a smile. “You would still have to bond, and there would be the issue of separation. But it’s better than the alternative.”
Mekashe felt his heart lift. “Far better. I had not even considered that it was a possibility.”
“You’ll have to talk her into it,” Hahnson continued. “But the emperor has given you permission to share the holon tech with her.”
“I’ll ask her today.”
Hahnson chuckled. “I think I can guess what she’ll say.”
Mekashe hoped that she would agree. It would be a sort of half life. But without her, his life had no meaning at all.
* * *
WHILE HE WAS pondering the possibilities, he heard her step on the winding stone staircase and looked up.
His heart stopped and ran wild. Jasmine was wearing a white gown with blue and gold accents. It reminded him very much of a gown she’d worn on board the starliner. Her hair was curled toward her lovely face. The gown clung to her exquisite figure. Mekashe was so captivated that he didn’t even notice the amused stares of his family around him.
Jasmine had eyes only for Mekashe. She came the rest of the way down and stopped in front of him.
“The empress had it woven for me,” she stammered, nervous now. “I haven’t worn anything feminine since... Well, not for a long time.”
“You look enchanting,” he said huskily.
She smiled softly. “You look devastating.”
They stared at each other for several seconds.
“I have something to discuss with you later,” he said.
“All right.”
“But for now, we should join the others.” He held out his arm. She put her hand on his forearm and let him lead her into the enormous dining room, where a table laden with all sorts of foods had already been set.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
JASMINE SAT SANDWICHED between Mekashe and Madeline Ruszel. She and the doctor had a great deal in common. Madeline was an ongoing encyclopedia of medical research.
“Lady Caneese and I have been working on something revolutionary,” she told Jasmine with twinkling green eyes. “In fact, we’ve just made a breakthrough. In a few months, we’ll be ready to announce it. But we have a series of virtual trials to get through first.”
“I’ll look forward to hearing about it,” Jasmine said. She smiled sadly. “I’ll have to go back soon. My assistant is filling in for me aboard the flagship.”
Madeline just nodded, but that twinkle was still in her eyes.
Mekashe was depressed when she said that. Did she want to leave? He felt less sure of the path ahead.
Jasmine, aware of his withdrawal, felt uneasy, too. She didn’t know why he looked so demoralized.
“It will be all right,” Lady Caneese said suddenly. She cocked her head and studied Jasmine. Then she smiled. “You will see.”
She glanced at Mekashe, who was blocked by her mind. But she smiled at him, as well.
* * *
LATER, MEKASHE WALKED Jasmine out to a small glassed-in conservatory, where many flowering species of plants encircled a central bench that wound around the building.
“The Rojok military has been your home for five years,” he began as they sat together.
“Yes. I had nowhere else to go, after...” She paused.
“My villa is very close to the Fortress,” he continued. “There is a small clinic, devoted to Alamantimichar, our Royal Clan, where ailments are treated. They are always short staffed. We have many children in this sector who go to the clinic.” He studied his highly polished black boots. “We have a secret device, called a holon. This tech is never discussed with outworlders. I have
permission from the emperor to tell you about it.”
She frowned. “Why?”
“You and I can never mate,” he said heavily. “I would kill you. But the holon is very much like the tech used aboard the starliner, which permitted us to visit many virtual realities.” He studied his boots again. “It is used primarily for bonded mates who are far apart from one another. It permits an intimacy which is indistinguishable from reality. If we used the holon, we could mate. We could bond and have an almost-normal life together, here on Memcache.”
Her heart ran wild. She’d never considered that there might be any way that she and Mekashe could be together.
“You want to bond with me?” she asked, fascinated.
He turned and looked down into her eyes. “More than I want to continue breathing,” he said roughly.
She swallowed. “It’s like that with me, too,” she confessed huskily as she searched his eyes. “I’d give anything to live with you.”
“There could never be a child,” he said sadly.
“I know.” She forced a smile. “But there are worse things...”
His arms closed around her. He’d had Hahnson use dravelzium and the nanotech he’d employed once before. It made it possible for him to fold her close and kiss her with impassioned need. Despite the drugs, he had to keep a tight rein on his passion, to keep from hurting her.
She held on for dear life and kissed him back hungrily, five years of total abstinence feeding the anguished need.
When she thought that he wasn’t going to be able to let go at all, there was a loud cough from the area surrounding them.
They both turned, still locked in each other’s arms, with blank looks.
Madeline Ruszel smiled knowingly. “The empress thinks it might be wise if you rejoined us. In fact, so do I. Unfortunately, there are limits to the dravelzium. I have a rather intimate knowledge of its use,” she added with a wicked look in her sparkling green eyes.
Mekashe chuckled. “Indeed,” he said, reluctantly letting Jasmine move away. “We have heard many tales of your relationship with Dtimun in the Holconcom.”
