by Ava Harrison
“Okay. You’re right. I agree. When do I leave?”
“As soon as the doctors say you’re free to go. Everything’s already been taken care of.” She squeezes my hand in hers. “We’ll get through this. Okay? Together. No more secrets. I love you, and I’m here for you.”
I smile a tight smile back and then close my eyes. I can do this.
A knock on the door has my eyelids opening. My mother stands in the doorway, looking like hell.
“Hi, Mom,” I say weakly.
My mother rushes to the side of my bed, sobbing. Harper walks around, placing her arms over our mom’s shoulders in comfort. “I-I was so scared. Why? Why would you do this, Bailey?”
Alta Jameson is the coldest woman I know. Seeing her cry is breaking me even more. She’s never shown this much affection for me in all my years.
“I-I’ve struggled with pills before.” My words cause her to cry harder. “I don’t remember taking the drugs . . . It doesn’t matter because I did. And that fact alone means I need more help than NA can give me.”
That’s the truth. I might not remember taking the drugs, but regardless, I did. It has always been my crutch. When things got bad, I used. It seems all it took was a few shots, and I fell.
“I don’t understand. How could we not know? How?”
“It was hidden well. I moved away to hide all the trouble I was in. You were busy. You couldn’t have known.” I try to reassure her, but my words seem to only upset her more.
“It’s my fault. I didn’t spend enough time with you. I was always . . .” She stops herself as she sobs into my sister’s shoulder.
I study my mother’s face, the lines of aging evident and deep right now. The harsh lines of years of hard work have me feeling ashamed.
“I’m sorry,” I whisper. She looks at me long and hard.
“I’m sorry I failed you. I should’ve known what was going on. You are our number one priority along with your sister, and I failed you.” Her eyes well up, and I can’t handle it.
I place my hand on her arm, squeezing lightly.
“Things were hard for all of us after Dad died. I don’t blame you, Mom. I just fell into the wrong crowd, and then I got into the accident . . .”
“But I should’ve noticed!” she bellows, causing my sister to lift her head and scowl at her.
“Shh, you’ll get us kicked out,” she scolds.
“We should’ve known,” she repeats.
“It’s over. I need you to be here for me and help me get better. That’s all I want.”
“We’ll be here. We aren’t leaving you,” she promises. I take in my mother and my sister. Even though we may be broken and battered, it feels like we could be a mighty force coming together to fight for one another.
47
Drew
I’m pacing yet again.
Time seems to be standing still as I wait for word on Bailey. I’m supposed to be working, but I can’t. She’s all I can think of. All I see when I close my eyes.
As if conjured by my thoughts, my phone rings.
I swipe the screen once I see who it is.
“She’s ready to see you,” Harper says through the line.
It’s been a week since I saw her. Harper had asked that I give Bailey space, so I’ve stayed away. I’ve called every day for an update, and today she’s finally ready. The doctors say her concussion is gone, and she’s now strong enough to be moved to the facility in Arizona for rehab.
“Okay. Should I come to the hospital?”
“No, she’s being discharged within the hour. Why don’t you come to my house and sit with her while I run out and get some last-minute things for our trip?”
“Just text me when you’re there, and I’ll head that way. I have some errands to run, but everything is set at Serenity Vista. You’ll have to sign her in and finish the paperwork, but all the financials have been taken care of. She should have the best of everything there.”
“Thank you, Drew. Seriously. You don’t know how much this means to us.” I hear her sniffles on the other line. The emotion in her voice is a testament to how much she loves Bailey. It makes me happy to know she has the support system she’s going to need to get better.
“Anytime, Harper. Take care of her.”
“Always.” I hear the phone click. No goodbyes necessary.
I have grown to admire Harper in ways I never would have imagined. She’s a great sister and not a bad person. I think her dickhead fiancé brings out the worst in her. He never made it to the hospital. Fucking jackass couldn’t even support Harper during a family crisis.
I swing by the club to quickly do some paperwork. We’re in the final closing stages for the club, and it’s time I start telling the employees what’s going down. Not that it fucking matters. They all have their jobs firmly secured.
Three hours later, I get a text summoning me to Harper’s. I sit in the back of my Town Car with frayed nerves paralyzing me. I don’t know what to say to Bailey. How will she look? Frail? Ghostly? Or will she be my Bailey?
I rap on the door twice before it swings open, revealing a very eager-looking Harper. “What took you so long?” she questions.
“I got here as soon as I could. Go do your errands. Where is she?”
“She’s in the far room watching Netflix. She’s good, Drew. You don’t have to look so nervous.” She chuckles, and I scoff.
“I’m not nervous.”
She gives me the “oh, really” look.
“Okay. I’m petrified, but don’t say a word.”
She laughs lightly. “Just be honest with her. Tell her how you feel. She needs to hear how scared you were. She needs to know you’re angry because, Drew, you have every right to be. I’m angry. Her actions affected all of us, but you finding her like that. I can’t imagine what that’s done to you.” She shakes off the images that I’m sure are filtering through her mind.
“Go. You have stuff to do, and I can’t keep delaying the inevitable.”
She pats me on the shoulder and walks out, throwing, “Good luck,” over her shoulder.
I walk slowly down the hallway. When I come to the opening of the family room, I silently peer around the corner to see Bailey sitting peacefully, watching some god-awful vampire show. She looks good, all things considered. I take a moment to watch her. She doesn’t know I’m here, and it allows me a few seconds to just see her. This very second, she’s the girl I fell in love with, and she’s alive.
Thank God, she’s alive.
She throws her head back and laughs at something said on the show, but I have no clue what it was. My entire focus is on her and her alone. God, she’s gorgeous. Breathtakingly fucking beautiful. I want to wrap her in my arms and take her out of here. I want to forget all the shit and just go live, but I can’t. We can’t go back. Everything is different now.
I love her but I can’t have her.
I came here tonight not knowing what I was going to say, but it’s clear now. I’m here to let her go. They say if you love something, set it free, right? I guess that fucking saying is about to have a whole new meaning for me, and it’s already breaking me.
48
Bailey
A soft noise pulls me from the show I’m watching. I turn my gaze to the side of the room and see Drew standing by the doorframe. His lean, sculpted body is resting against the wood. One foot is propped behind him, and his arms are crossed against his chest. A smoldering gaze locks with mine. My lips tighten, offering him a timid smile.
“What are you doing here?” I ask. I’m not sure why I ask since I did tell Harper I wanted to see him and say goodbye. “I mean . . . I mean . . .” God, why am I so nervous? “What are you doing here so soon? I wasn’t expecting you for a few hours.”
His gaze continues to unnerve me, my heart pounding in my chest, waiting for him to speak.
“As soon as I could get away from what I was doing, I came. Hope that’s okay?” His eyes bore into mine. It unnerves me.
/> “Yeah, of course.” I bite down on my lower lip. “Thank you for coming.”
“Of course, Bailey. I told you, if you needed me, I’d be here.”
“I know. I just—”
He raises his hand to stop me from speaking. “You didn’t think after what went down, I would still come? Of course, I would, Bailey. I love you.”
His admission knocks the wind out of my lungs. Breathing becomes more difficult as I try to think of a response.
“I know things happened. I know you don’t know what to believe. I get it. I know it’s no secret I slept around, and even that I once fooled around with Monica. I wasn’t looking for anything before I met you, and I haven’t been with anyone since we’ve been together. What you saw was Monica throwing herself on me. I know your sister told you this, but I wanted you to hear it from me. I love you, Bailey, and I would never do that to you.”
“I know. I know that now.” A tear falls down my cheek. “Drew, I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry for not trusting you, for finding Reese . . .” Dampness continues to slide down my cheek, and I swipe away at it, drying my face. “I can’t remember why. I don’t remember anything . . . but, god, I’m so sorry for hurting you and making you relive . . .”
A fine line forms between his brows as he gathers his thoughts. His left hand runs through his hair, then he pulls his hand away and covers his eyes.
“Yes, Bailey, and that’s why, as much as I love you, I can’t do this anymore. I wanted to save you, but I will always fail if you can’t save yourself.”
My eyes blink rapidly as I think about what he just said. Sadness courses through my veins, killing any joy I had moments ago. What does this mean? Have I lost him forever? Will he ever want to try again? But no matter what I feel and how miserable these unknowns make me, I know he’s right. I might not remember taking the drugs, but I did.
Regardless if it was a drunken mistake, I made that mistake. Everything he says is right. If all it takes is a few shots to make me go backward, I need more help. I need to get the help I should have gotten a long time ago.
Rehab is the best place for me right now.
I inhale deeply, and after a series of breaths, I finally gather the strength to speak.
“I understand that now. I know I need to get better.” I look up and find him looking intently at me. “I’ll get better for you.”
“No, Bailey. Get better for you. If you do this for me, you’re only setting yourself up for failure. Setting yourself up to relapse again. Only for you, okay?”
“Okay, Drew. You’re right. I’ll get healthy for me. But then what? If-when I get better?”
“I don’t know, Bae. I really don’t know.”
The uncertainty in his voice is my undoing, and I burst into sobs. He crosses the room quickly and takes me in his arms.
“Shh. It’s going to be okay. You’re going to be okay.”
I want to plead with him not to let me go. To stay with me. That I love him, but I hold it all in. Drew has already done so much for me. I can’t burden him with any more. I have to leave and heal myself, and this is the moment when I’ll start. This is the moment I will change my life.
His hand reaches under my eyes and collects the wetness gathering with his fingertips. My gaze focuses on the ceiling, willing the tears to stop falling. When I know no more will fall, I cast my eyes back to his. His gaze is hollow and raw. This is not the same man I met that first day at the club. I need to be strong for him.
No.
I need to be strong for me.
After a few minutes of Drew holding me, I feel him place a gentle kiss on the top of my head and pull away.
“I have to go, Bae. You can do this. I know you’re strong enough.”
“Bye, Drew,” I whisper. My mouth is dry from the emotions choking me.
“Goodbye, Bailey.”
I watch as he gets up.
I watch as he walks toward the door and walks out of my life.
49
Drew
Broken.
I feel completely, utterly, fucking broken. Saying goodbye, whether it be for the short term or the long haul, was the hardest thing I’ve had to do in a long time.
As much as I’d like to say I was being selfless, that’s a fucking lie. I was being the most selfish bastard I’ve ever known.
I can’t do it. I can’t be around while she tries to get better. I can’t save her, and I feel helpless, which means I can’t do it anymore.
I get into the car and pound my fists into the steering wheel. A growl breaks through my throat as I release frustration like I’ve never felt before. Agony that I didn’t know could exist.
I love her. I am one hundred percent in love with that girl, and not to be able to have her is excruciating.
I pull myself together and drive to the club. I have business to attend to. My life has to move forward, and the steps I’ve put into place are just the beginning.
As I walk through the door of the club, the realization that this will likely be one of the last times I do so hits me hard. It’s not that I will miss the nightclub. It’s the fact that everything changes.
I see my staff sitting around and can only imagine the speculation circulating through the place. They were told that an emergency mandatory meeting was being held, and that if they didn’t make it, not to come back. It’s no secret about what went down with Bailey and Reese. Everyone knows. I’ve heard some of the rumors, and I know everyone is scared.
“Relax,” I say with a smile. I’m hoping this helps to ease everyone’s worries. When I see a few shoulders sag in relief, I know it worked.
“I can see you all know something is brewing. Let me just tell you, it’s not bad. In fact, I believe the coming changes will make Silver better. I also know these changes will benefit all of you.” The silence is so thick it’s palpable, but I continue.
“I’m selling the club. Silver will be under the ownership of a world-renowned club owner named Mathis.”
There is a collective gasp, and the room fills with murmurings and panic. I raise my hands to hush the crowd.
“You guys, give me a minute to finish.”
The room slowly quiets, and all eyes turn to me, beckoning me to continue.
“Mathis is a private investor, and he has been seeking out space to branch out in the city with his own nightclub. Guys, he’s savvy and has unlimited funds. The money he’s looking to invest is leaps and bounds above what I possess. If we were to go toe to toe with his club, we’d go under or, at the very least, feel a significant cut in business. By making a deal with him and selling this club, I saved all your jobs and prevented competition.”
Hands fly into the air. Everyone has questions, which I anticipated, but this level is beyond my scope. This is a club. These jobs should be steppingstones. Looking out into the faces of my employees, I see that this is so much more to them.
I point at one girl. “Yes, Amanda?”
“When you say you saved our jobs, do you mean we won’t be let go?”
“Yes, that’s what I said. Mathis and I negotiated the terms that every single one of you will keep your current jobs at the current pay rate. As long as you do your job well, you won’t be going anywhere. Fuck up and you’ll be out. It’s as simple as that. Mathis isn’t where he is today by being a pushover, but he’s fair.”
Hands begin to lower as the elephant in the room has been addressed. I answer a few more questions, mainly involving working conditions, etc. until Carter’s hand goes up.
“Are you going to be okay, Drew?”
I contemplate how to answer his question. “Honestly, I’m not sure.” I take a breath. It’s now or never. “That’s not true. For some time, I’ve needed a change, I’ll be fine.” It feels good to get that out in the open, to finally be able to start the next chapter of my life.
But when I look out at the club I’ve built from the ground up, the sentimentality hits me. This is it. It all ends tonight. The more I think about that
reality, the lighter my chest becomes. It’s strange. It’s as if I can feel the weight of each brick slowly release me from the spot they’ve had me pinned to. This place wasn’t what I really ever wanted. It was a prison sentence I imposed upon myself. It was the constant reminder of what I allowed to happen to Alexa. But after everything with Bailey, I now realize it wasn’t my fault. I can’t be held responsible for the decisions they made. With that realization, I feel free.
I smile a genuine smile, which elicits a confused look from Carter. “It’s going to be epic.”
I stick around to receive well wishes and answer any lingering questions before heading to my office to finish clearing it out.
This place holds such a battery of mixed emotions for me, but one thing’s for sure. At the end of the day, I won’t miss it. The cold, stark walls of this place hold nothing for me anymore.
For the first time, I’m in love, and fuck I can’t have the one thing I want more than life. Bailey makes me feel and I’m actually afraid that no matter how strong our love is, we can’t be together now and possibly not ever.
I finish packing the last of my stuff and head down to elicit some help from the barbacks. When I get to the bar, Carter and Austin are going on about something.
“What’s up, guys?”
“Not much. Just don’t go into room four. They are definitely fucking. I walked in and right back out.” Carter is nonplused, but I’m majorly disgusted. Doesn’t surprise me, though. I’ve been there, done that in another life.
“Jesus, well make sure to sterilize the shit out of that room before tomorrow.” Shaking my head, I look at room four just in time to see the culprits walk out while adjusting their clothes. It takes a second for everything to register, but when it does, I see red.
Cal Loche, Harper’s fiancé, is the culprit along with someone other than Harper. I don’t even think. I just stalk toward him and grab the collar of his shirt. I’m up in his face before he can even register me.
