by Natalie Ann
She rolled over on top of him. “You’re where I want you for the moment.”
If the moment was all he could get, he’d take it for now.
***
“The fire was set in the janitor’s closet.”
Cam looked over from the dinner she was cooking. “Set?”
“Yes. It’s arson. Clear as day.”
Ian had just hung up the phone after talking to his captain again. Once they’d gotten out of bed, she’d taken a shower while he made a few calls. Then he showered and joined her in the kitchen, answering yet another call.
She was trying to dial her emotions back. Ian said he was staying to protect her. That was simple and to the point. He wasn’t staying to be with her. Or for her. She reminded herself this was why she grew up and stopped with the bad boys. This was why when she was fifteen and had gotten caught riding on the back of a motorcycle in the middle of the night speeding with a nineteen-year-old, she realized the stifling life she was leading.
That everyone had to be so perfect and life had to be so calm. Risks and danger were fun. Sneaking out and drinking as a teen, taking a few hits of pot, all that made her feel alive. Being caught the few times never made her stop.
Having her heart broken when she was nineteen and the man was twenty-four just looking for someone to add to his little black book, that had been the last straw.
No more bad boys. No more sneaking around. No more letting loose.
It had been time to figure out why she acted out. Why she did what she did. When it came down to it—what she’d discovered was—she’d been bored with her life.
But a boring life was catching up to her again. All those quiet perfect suit-wearing, clean-cut men she’d been dating. Yeah…not doing it for her.
Then there was Ian. Right in the middle? Maybe. Or maybe not. She couldn’t focus on it right now.
“How was it started?” she asked.
“I don’t have all the details. Some kind of accelerant in a basket. It was with all the cleaning supplies. It could have been a lot worse than it was, but the smoke built up faster and set the alarms off. By the time the fire department got there, they were able to contain it pretty fast. The sprinklers in the basement had turned on, controlling a lot of it too.
“I guess I should be thankful for the sprinklers, just not that I didn’t have time to get out before they went off. There’s a timer on them unless there is heat. Then they’ll go right off.”
“There was a lot more smoke than flames, most likely, from the chemicals around. Thankfully the system in that building was good.”
She nodded. There wasn’t much more she could say right now. Nothing more than she was thankful she was alive and in one piece. Chances are she would have been fine in the building anyway, but it wasn’t a chance she was willing to take again.
She tossed the shrimp in the pan after she poured in the white wine. She was starving right now and cooking a meal for the two of them was calming her down almost like the sex had earlier. Nah. Nothing would calm her like that.
“Are those your keys?”
She turned and saw her office keys on her table where she’d switched out her purses last minute this morning. Her old one was still sitting there. There were some papers on the table she’d taken out too. “Yes. See if my keycard is there?”
He got up and moved over while she finished up dinner. “I don’t see it.”
“Did you check my other purse?”
“I checked everything,” he said.
“That’s strange. Maybe it is in my car and I just missed it. I was focused on my keys. That purse was too big and things were always falling out of it. It just had a snap and not a zipper. That’s why I switched them out. I thought it was convenient to just slip my hand in and grab what I wanted, but realized it’s not if things are falling out of it all the time.”
She placed his dish and hers on the island, then poured herself a glass of wine from the bottle she was cooking with. He was sticking with water, it seemed.
“Tell me why you went into psychology.”
She laughed. “Where is that coming from?”
He shrugged. “I just want to know more about you. You know how I ended up on the force.”
That was because it was during therapy, though she didn’t bring that up right now. It wouldn’t be right. But did she want to tell him her reasons? She supposed it wouldn’t hurt.
“When I was younger my neighbor was molested by her uncle. She was a few years younger than me, but I talked to her a lot. I think she looked up to me at times. I didn’t know about it at first. But the uncle was in prison. Gabrielle, that was her name. Gabrielle was only five when it happened. When they moved in next to us she was ten. We talked a few years before I found out what had happened.”
“And you were inspired to help her?” he asked.
“Yes. Some days she was so happy and others sad. I couldn’t figure it out. Her mother talked to my mother and then I knew. I hated seeing her so down at times. I guess when I knew she had those sad days I made more of an effort to be there and talk to her. Just cheer her up. Her mother appreciated it, said I had a caring soul.”
“You do have one. You always seem to know what to say to make someone feel better. I know I joked about it before, but it’s true.”
“So that’s the reason I went into it.”
He hesitated like he wasn’t sure he believed it all. “You said before you wanted child psychology and then changed? Why change?”
“Because sometimes there are no saving people. Sometimes what happens to them is so hard and deep that it hurts even me. And sometimes it wasn’t the victim I had to treat but the accuser. I found I didn’t like that part of the job. I found that I’d rather be on this end of a crime. Helping put someone away, not trying to help them personally. I want to help victims if it comes to that. But kids...that hurts too much now, so I refer them on.”
“And you’re not going to tell me why that is, are you?”
“Not tonight.”
“Now tell me the real reason you went into phycology.”
“I just did,” she argued.
“No you didn’t. You told me a nice story that has some truth to it. But there’s more. I know it. It’s easy enough to see for those you let into your life.”
“And what do you see?” she asked, crossing her arms.
“I see someone who wants the world to know she is perfect and calm and in control. But what I know is someone that likes bold colors in her bedroom where no one sees it but her. Someone that paints her toenails flashy as a hint of a wild side that you just can’t keep hidden. Someone that was all over me and stopping any tenderness I wanted to send your way.”
“Maybe we should switch fields,” she said.
“Am I wrong?” he asked.
“No.” That was all she was saying at this moment.
“What about your family then?” he asked instead. She was glad he wasn’t pushing.
“What about them?” she asked, starting to eat. Maybe if she ate, he’d follow and they could stop talking.
“You gave in pretty quickly when Gary mentioned going to the chief if you weren’t going to cooperate. Why is that?”
She could lie there too, but why bother? He’d figure it out. He was a detective, and from everything she’d seen in his file, he was a damn good one. That he hadn’t looked into her background that closely meant he didn’t have cause. He might feel he had it soon, so she’d be honest.
“Mason is my grandmother’s maiden name. I changed it when I graduated from college.”
“The reason?”
“Many reasons. First off, my parents are Francis and Madeline Groff. That was my last name at one point.”
“Groff Real Estate Investments?”
“That would be them. I didn’t want my family’s name to get me a job and I didn’t want people looking at me like that was how I got it.”
“But Gary knows. Chief Hillside knows.”
“The ch
ief knows. He’s friends with my father and that goes no further than here. My father didn’t get me the contract with the city. I fought taking it for the very reason of their friendship.”
“That’s the only reason you changed your name?”
“No. If you looked into my family history you’d see my mother’s maiden name is Jefferies. Her father, my grandfather, is a federal judge.”
He set his fork down. He’d been eating, but now wasn’t. “All the security you’ve talked about then is because of the family you come from. You’ve all been protected to an extent.”
“Yes.”
“Could any of this have to do with a family connection?” he asked.
“I’ve thought about it, but I don’t see how that is possible. When I met with the chief last week, he said he ran down anyone that my grandfather had locked up to see if they were recently released or in this area. There was nothing. I’m inclined to believe it has nothing to do with my family. If the chief thought it did, he’d be calling my father, then my grandfather.”
“Your parents know nothing about what is going on?” he asked, looking more stunned that she expected.
“No. There’s no reason. If they find out, they’d pressure me to close my practice. Or close it temporarily. They know I wouldn’t do it. Then they’d assign bodyguards everywhere I went without my knowledge. I don’t want that either.” She’d had enough of being watched growing up. Some of her own doing, probably making her break away from it rather than just asking for privacy as a teen.
“I’m not sure how I feel about being a compromise,” he said smirking at her.
“As for compromises, this one is turning out pretty damn good in my eyes.”
He held his hand out for her, she stood up and walked over, then sat in his lap. “Not too bad in mine either. So why don’t we go back to your bedroom and you can show me more of your wild side.”
“Gladly.”
Done Here
Two days of calm felt wonderful. Cam knew she’d never take for granted a boring day ever again. Never think of one in a negative light either.
There was no calm at night though. Not with Ian staying with her, and right now, she wouldn’t want it any other way.
Calm days, exciting nights. Yeah. That was a good routine to get into. A good habit too. Not that she’d voice that to anyone. It was her little secret for now.
One she was holding close to her chest.
But that calm was going to be put to the test today. Today she was going to come face to face with David Arrow.
Could he or his family be responsible for terrorizing her state of mind? Were they that devious? That power hungry to get their way? Would her testimony even make a difference?
She wasn’t sure she’d find out today if it was Simon Arrow or not doing this to her, and honestly, it wasn’t her job to do that. That was in the chief’s and captain’s hands. Ian’s hands. She had every faith in them. She just wished they’d move a little faster.
She walked into the jail, handed her bag and credentials over to be passed through security. Captain Taylor was meeting her here. He, the DA, and the prosecutor would be behind the glass during the meeting.
Twenty minutes later she was in the room where David was already seated in his orange jumpsuit and cuffs attached to the table with a guard behind him. David turned his head and barely glanced at her. Almost dismissing her and she was fine with that.
She took a seat across from him, waited until he looked up and acknowledged her, and when he didn’t, she said, “How are you feeling, David?”
“Why do you care?” he asked, his voice almost a whisper.
“I’m here to make an assessment of your mental state of mind.”
She wanted to add he could rot in hell, but she never would. She kept all those thoughts to herself, pushing them aside, hardly letting them creep in.
“I feel like shit,” he said. “Are you happy?”
“Why do you feel that way?”
“The beds are uncomfortable and the food sucks.”
The guard by the door snorted, but Cam looked straight ahead. “Aside from your physical discomfort. How do you feel about Amanda’s death?”
He glanced up this time, his stare as hard as his father’s had been earlier in the week. “She was misinformed. I tried to tell her it was just a rumor. That I wasn’t cheating on her. She didn’t believe me. I hated myself for that. I hated she thought that of me. I hated her. I wanted to kill myself. I told her that, but she didn’t care.”
“So you killed her instead.”
“I didn’t mean to do it. It just happened. I just snapped,” he said, his voice cracking, her stare never wavering, never changing. “If I stay in here any longer, I’m going to hang myself. I’m telling you right now. I don’t want to live if I have to stay here.”
She jotted a few notes down, then looked up. There was no sorrow, no regret, no fear. No feeling in his eyes at all. No desperation either. It was a rehearsed speech that he’d said hundreds of times through his childhood. It scared his mother, and she sought help for him, but everyone that saw him said it wasn’t a cry for help, but rather one for attention. He’d never had any intention of harming himself.
“What about death makes you want to take your own life?”
His head snapped up straighter, his eyes narrowing now. He wasn’t expecting that question. “It’d beat being locked up in here.”
Nothing about not feeling any pain. Nothing about not being able to deal. About an overwhelming need to end it all. It was just “better than being here.”
“Is there anything you want to add to our conversation?”
“Nothing more than you’re a bitch,” he yelled. He stood up and spit at her. She jumped back, almost falling out of the chair as he tried to lunge. The guard was on him fast and holding him in place, not that he could have gotten far being attached to the table. She was backed against the wall, blocking everyone’s view from the window, but not the sound.
She wasn’t sure she’d ever been assaulted like that before and hoped never to be again. “You know what I think?” she said, as calmly as she could. Her heart was racing, but damn it, she wasn’t going to let it show. “I think it’s always been all an act. You aren’t getting your way. You were told what to do just now. You were told to act in different ways. Unstable. You want me to think you’re unstable, but you and I know the truth.”
“What’s the truth?” he asked, looking at her. It was there, in his eyes, honesty for once. She was on to him and he knew it.
“Only you know the truth, David. Not me.”
“Everyone thinks they know me. No one does. No one ever will. Do the right thing, my father told me yesterday. Make them all believe it.” He laughed. “Want to know what everyone should believe? The bitch had it coming. No one tells me no.”
Her hands were shaking. She’d come in contact with a lot of mental illnesses over the years, but she’d never been in with someone that was just pure evil. That just thought he could have what he wanted, when he wanted it, damn the consequences or the law or any concern for another person’s life.
“We’re done here,” she told the guard, then sat down when David was led out.
A minute later everyone from behind the mirror came in to see her. “Are you okay?” Gary asked.
“Yeah. I just need to catch my breath. It’s a good thing my heart is so strong as it’s being put to the test lately.”
“This case is going to be locked up tight,” Phillip said, all but drooling and even rubbing his hands together. She could see he was eying that judge post now.
“I just want it over with,” she said. “You heard what he said, right? Do the right thing. His father told him that.”
“I heard,” Gary said. “We’ll be talking to Simon again. Trust me.”
***
“I wish I’d been there with you,” Ian said later that night to her when he’d walked in her door. He couldn’t remember ever feeling t
he amount of pressure in his chest when he’d heard how the interview with David Arrow went earlier today. He wanted to be there but was told there was no reason.
His reason was to protect her. Hold her when it was done. Try to calm her.
“I was fine. Tomorrow I’m giving my testimony in court and with any luck, we’ll have a verdict by the end of the day. I’m the last witness.”
“I’ll be there tomorrow with you.”
“Why?” she asked.
“Because I want to give you my moral support.”
She stopped unloading the dishwasher. “Awww, now that is what a boyfriend does.” Then her hand flew to her mouth. “I didn’t mean to say that.”
“But you did.” He was thinking they’d have this discussion when everything died down. When she was no longer in danger, but now she brought it up.
“I did. And we don’t need to talk about it.”
“I didn’t think you were an avoidance type of woman, Doc.”
She walked over to him. “Cam,” she corrected. “Doc just gets my hackles up.”
“Doc is the same to me as Cam,” he said.
She tilted her head and eyed him strangely. Reading him, but not really. Or not saying. “We met under odd circumstances,” she said.
“How many people meet under normal ones?”
She squinted one eye at him. “More than you realize.”
He laughed. “Let’s table this conversation for now. I’m not going anywhere until I know for sure there is no threat against you. And when that is done, then we’ll talk about if you want us to go somewhere or not.”
She opened her mouth, but he put his fingers in front of it and shook his head. She nodded, then moved away. “No talking about it then.”
He wrapped his arms around her waist. “I can think of something else to do other than talk.”
“I like your thinking.”
“Then you’re going to love my actions.”
She’d Be Safe
The next morning while Cam was at her office, Ian was looking over the security tapes from her house. He’d seen them more times than he could count.
