by Bella Jewel
“We’re goin’,” I say to Janine.
She lifts her eyes, and I can’t meet them. Not when they’re all hurt and pained. It fuckin’ guts me. Maybe I’m bein’ unfair, but I just need time to cool off. I Just a fuckin’ minute to breathe, and process this.
“I wanted to see Addi,” she whispers.
“You can see her in the mornin’. She needs her rest.”
She steps away from the girls and nods, giving them a weak smile. They return that weak smile, and then turn and walk back to the guys. I take Janine’s arm, and I pull her toward my truck. She doesn’t say anything; she just lets me pull her. I open the door and help her in, and then I get into the front seat.
We drive home in silence. What is there to say? She knows I’m mad. I’m trying not to be, but I can’t stop it. I hate being angry, and it’s on a rare occasion that I end up so angry I can’t speak. It pisses me off when I’m like this; because it’s not who I am, but stopping it isn’t so easy. I want to turn to her, grip her beautiful face and tell her it’s going to be ok, but to do that, I need time to breathe.
I’m far too hurt, and, if I’ll admit it, I’m fuckin’ scared.
She’s everything to me now.
When we arrive at my house, Janine turns to me, confused. “W...w...why are we here?”
I don’t look at her; I just stare out the front of the truck. “You and Ebony are stayin’ with me until this shit is sorted.”
She opens her mouth to argue, but when she sees the angry expression I shoot her, she closes it.
“O...okay.”
I get out of the truck, letting my eyes scan the area around us to make sure we weren’t followed before opening her door and letting her out. She follows me to the front door, quietly. Just as I open it, she whispers, “I’m sorry Muff.”
Fuck.
Fuck.
Now she’s making this harder than it has to be, because she’s makin’ me feel awful. I know she’s sorry—fuck, I can see it in her eyes, but I am tryin’ to deal with my own anger before I can talk this out with her. I’m not one to say shit I don’t mean out of rage, and I’m not about to start now.
I simply nod my head at her.
It’s the best I’ve got right now.
~*~*~*~
Janine
I know he’s mad at me. I can see it in his eyes. The usual playful blue depths are flaring with wild anger. He’s hurting, too, and I know it’s because I kept this from him. I guess I was wrong about us. I guess we were closer than I’d thought, and the fact that I didn’t share this has obviously hurt him. I hate that he’s upset, but I don’t know what I can say to make that better. How do I remove a hurt I put down?
So I apologize.
He stiffens by the door, but he doesn’t answer me. Instead, he nods, and opens the door, stepping inside. I wait at the door while he scans the area, and, when he’s happy with it he nods at me again. I walk in, stopping by the couch. What do I say? I’ve said sorry, and he didn’t acknowledge it. I don’t know how far to push this. I don’t imagine Muff gets angry often—he’s usually so carefree.
When he storms into the kitchen and picks up a coffee mug, only to drop it onto the floor, everything explodes. The glass shatters, and he curses loudly. Then he grips another one, hurling it across the room and smashing it into the wall. I whimper and wrap my arms around myself as he continues on his rampage. Muff angry...it’s scary. He’s like a wild man, with that thick red hair whipping around his face. His big powerful body is scrunched with rage.
“I’m sorry,” I squeak again.
He doesn’t hear me. He’s panting now, gripping the bench, his head lowered.
“I’m sorry Muff,” I yell. Hearing me, he lifts his head, meeting my gaze. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. I didn’t think it was as bad as it is. Maybe that makes me naïve, but I thought I was doing everything I needed to do. I was organizing the money and...”
“Where were you going to get that kind of money?” he barks.
I shake my head, feeling my eyes burn with unshed tears. I have no idea where I was going to get that money, but goddammit, I would have found a way. “I don’t...I would have found it, and...”
“You would have found it?” he growls stepping around the counter and walking over. He stops in front of me and leans down, glaring at me. “You would have found it? How the fuck do you find over twenty grand, Janine? I thought you were smarter than that. You’ve been running with bikers for how long? And you thought you could just find it? Jesus, these men...they’re not going to wait for you to find something that’s not there. You should know better!”
“I know, okay?” I scream, shoving at his chest. “But what did you want me to do? Honestly, Muff! Ask you boys for money? Take it from my poor mother? What? What did you want me to fucking do?”
He steps back, shaking his head. “You come to me, Jay, that’s what you do. You come to me, and you tell me you’re in trouble, and I fucking sort it out.”
“Why?” I scream. “Why should you sort it out? You’re not even my boyfriend!”
His face drops, and his eyes fill with hurt. “Fuck, why don’t you just kick me in the fuckin’ balls while you’re at it?”
“Well, it’s the truth,” I whisper, feeling a tear slide down my cheek.
He’s panting with rage. “And why do you fuckin’ think that is?”
“I don’t know.”
“It’s because you’ve been holdin’ back. You’ve been keeping me at arm’s length, not letting me get too close. This is the perfect example of that, and yet here you are, complaining that I haven’t fuckin’ claimed you as my girlfriend. Fuck, Jay, maybe you should take a look at yourself.”
“I’m scared,” I cry. “Scared of getting tangled up in this world again. And this,” I wave my hands around, “is why.”
“Then why the fuck did you let me in? Why the fuck did you waste my time, if you were only goin’ to tell me it’s something you don’t wanna do? Fuckin’ hell - this is why I don’t do relationships. Why, Jaybird? Tell me why you fuckin’ went there...”
“Because...because...you were different,” I rasp.
“That’s not enough,” he bellows, clenching his fists.
“Because I fucking fell in love with you,” I wail. “You fucking asshole.”
He steps back, like I’ve slapped him. “What did you say?”
“You heard me! I love you Muff, I fucking love you more than I’ve ever loved someone in my entire life, and it scares me. It scares the living shit out of me because you...you could crush me like a fly if you decided you didn’t want this. I’ve been holding back because I’m trying to protect my heart. I don’t want to be hurt again, and I know you’re nothing like him, but it doesn’t make it any less scary. I want something for my daughter, for me...I need something in return. I can’t be the one giving all the time.”
We both stand there for a long moment, him just staring at me, his blue eyes searching my face. Then suddenly he steps forward, gripping my face and pulling me up against him. I whimper as my chest hit his. “You’re a fool, girl,” he breathes. “I fucking love you too, and I have no intention of letting you go. If you fuckin’ let me in for five fuckin’ minutes you’d know that. I’ve got everything to give you in return, if you just stop pushin’ me away.”
Oh, God.
“I don’t wanna push you away anymore,” I whisper. “I want you, Muff.”
“Then baby,” he growls, leaning closer, “take me.”
He crushes his lips down over mine, and my knees buckle. I hook my arms around his waist and clutch the back of his shirt, bringing his body closer until it’s flush against mine. A throaty growl leaves his throat and he tilts his head, deepening the kiss. His fingers slide down to my backside, and he grips it, pressing me forward. He begins to move his hips, sliding his cock up and down my slit, teasing me, using the friction of our clothes to send little bolts of pleasure through my body.
Oh, yes.
/> I claw at his shirt, wanting it gone. He steps back, panting, and grips it, tossing it off. He takes hold of his jeans, yanking them down until that beautiful cock springs free. “Suck me, baby. I need your lips on me.”
Mewling, I slowly lower myself to my knees, looking up at him through my lashes. His jaw is tight, his eyes are blazing, and his hand wraps around his cock. He slowly strokes it up and down, squeezing every now and then. I shuffle forward, licking my lips as I reach out, shoving his hand away so I can wrap my fingers around the hard, throbbing length. I groan and lower my mouth, desperate to taste him. I snake my tongue out, and lick the salty pre-come off the tip of his cock. He hisses, and tangles his hand into my hair.
“Baby, God, so fuckin’ good.”
I part my lips and gently lower my mouth over the head of his cock, taking him deep into my throat. His skin is silky smooth, and has the distinct taste of man. I tuck my bottom lip over my teeth and press against the bottom of his cock. He groans and his thighs tighten. “Fuck, fuck,” he rasps.
I smile around him and reach up to cup his balls. They’re heavy and tight, which tells me he’s close. I suck harder, swirling my tongue up and down as my lips work his shaft. His growls get more frequent, and his fingers tighten in my hair. “Need. To. Fu...fuccccck...” he cuts off with a hiss, and he tugs my hair back. His cock pops out of my mouth.
He leans down, eyes wild, and grips my shoulders. “Turn over, remove your pants and press your hands on the floor, flat.”
I remove my pants quickly, then I turn and place my hands on the floor in front of me, flat. I hear Muff shuffling behind me, and then he reaches down and grips my legs, lifting them off the floor. The pressure on my hands suddenly increases. “Can you hold yourself up?” he rasps.
“Y...y...yes, I think so.”
“Good, ‘cause I’m goin’ to fuck you like this.”
“Like this?” I squeak.
“Yeah, baby, like this. Hang on.”
He uses his hands to spread my legs, and he steps between them. I manage to tuck my legs a little around his waist, and I can feel him pressing against my pussy. He’s basically got me in the position of a wheelbarrow, and it’s quite erotic and new for me. I’m relying on myself to hold the top half of my body up, if I let go, it won’t be pretty.
Muff steps closer, and I feel his cock press into the heated flesh between my thighs. I groan and wiggle slightly. One of his hands comes under my body and presses against my pelvis, tilting it just a touch, and then he plunges inside me. I cry out, and am forced to move my hands two spaces forward to stop myself from tumbling. Muff growls loudly, and slides his cock out, before plunging it back in.
“Don’t fall on me, baby,” he rasps.
From this angle, his cock is pressing right into that perfect sweet spot. I cry out, dropping my head and desperately wanting to reach up and stroke my clit. Muff slides back out and gently slips back in, jerking his hips in that perfect way. The way that hits every good part of my pussy and makes me climb higher and higher towards my release.
“So fuckin’ good, God, Jaybird...” Muff hisses.
“Muff, oh, God, it feels...oh...God...”
“Say my name baby, say it when you come around my cock.”
“M...M...Muff...”
“No,” he growls, thrusting harder. “My real name.”
Oh. God. Yes.
His hips work harder and deeper, our skin slaps together, and our cries fill the room. Sparks of pleasure shoot up my spine, and I know I’m screaming, but I can’t stop it. I’m going to come, and on this angle, it’s going to be explosive.
“Oh, God, I...I...” I clench my eyes shut as the first jerk of pleasure bursts inside me. “B...B...Brian!” I scream. “Oh God, Brian!”
“Fuck, yes, fuck, say it again,” he growls, thrusting so hard I feel my hands trembling.
“Brian, oh, fuck me harder.”
He slams his hips harder, and I hear his hiss of air as he begins to come, pulsing deep and fast inside me. His last thrust is deep and hard, and my hands finally give way. I try to stop myself, but I face plant the floor before I can. I cry out in pain as my nose crushes onto the floor. Blood spurts out, and I whimper. Muff curses, and gently lowers my legs before dropping to his knees beside me. I feel the warmth of his release trickle down my thigh.
“Shit, Jaybird, baby...”
I turn and look up at him, all disheveled and gorgeous, and I burst out laughing. Blood fills my mouth but I continue chuckling. His eyes widen, and he reaches for his shirt, pressing it against my nose.
“Jaybird, are you...why are you laughing?”
I laugh louder, and then cry out in pain as the movement causes my nose to throb. “You broke my nose...while we were fucking.” I pant, in between laughs and cries.
Muff stares blankly at me, and then bursts out laughing. “Fuck, Jaybird. Come on, we need to get that looked at.”
“Oh God,” I sob, hiccupping loudly.
Muff gets to his feet, bringing me up with him. He quickly dresses, and then helps me put my pants on before rushing to the freezer to get me some ice.
“Come on, it’s time to head to the hospital,” he says, stroking some hair from my eyes. “Shit, Jaybird, I’m sorry.”
“It wasn’t your fault,” I rasp, as the pain starts to intensify.
“It was. I was fucking you like a maniac.”
“I...like your maniac.”
He shakes his head, and leans forward, pressing a kiss to my head. “Come on, let’s get you looked at.”
Well, this should be interesting.
Chapter 8
So this is Christmas!
Janine
“What the fuck happened?” Spike says when we walk into the hospital.
“Um, she, hurt her nose,” Muff grunts.
“It’s a sex injury,” I mutter.
Spike’s eyes widen. “Do share,” he breathes.
“Fuck up, Spike,” Muff snaps.
“Chill dude, she started it. Coulda said she ran into a wall,” he grunts, turning and sitting down.
Jackson grins at us, and I know he’s trying to smother a laugh. Asshole. The girls are in the cafeteria, so at least I get to pass them without shame. For now. We head down the halls to the patient room and are greeted by a young, busty nurse.
“Muff!” She smiles, rushing over and throwing her arms around Muff.
Okay then.
“Hey Gloria, long time no see,” Muff says, grinning down at her.
She flicks her hair. “God, I’ve missed you. I haven’t seen you around the bar.”
“I’ve been busy,” he explains.
She pouts and crosses her arms. “Don’t be a stranger. I miss our...chats.”
Jesus.
Muff smiles at her again, and then turns to me. “This is my girlfriend, Janine. She...hurt her nose.”
Girlfriend.
He called me his girlfriend.
My heart flutters.
Gloria’s eyebrows shoot up, and she turns to me. “Oh, that doesn’t sound good. Can I take a look?”
“If you have to,” I whisper.
Muff shakes his head, grinning at me. “She does. Come on, Jaybird, sit down.”
Gloria leads us into a room and sits me on the bed. Then she’s in front of me, poking her big breasts in my face. I hate when that happens. I close my eyes and try to concentrate on something else as Gloria removes Muff’s shirt and inspects my nose. She moves it. I cry out, and she declares it’s fractured and hands me a fresh ice pack.
“There’s not much we can do for a nasal fracture, except give you some good painkillers and wait for it to heal. I’ll strap it as best I can, just to try and relieve some pain for you.”
I groan, and open my eyes to see her step back and wink at Muff. Isn’t that like...not allowed? She announces she’s going to get something to strap it, and leaves the room. I turn to Muff.
“Have you boned everyone in this town?”
He chuckles, and stands, walking over and sitting beside me. “Baby, jealously suits you.”
“I thought it was meant to be that it doesn’t suit me...”
He grins, kissing my lips softly. “But it does suit you. Makes you darn cute.”
“You broke my nose fucking me, and the nurse fixing me has fucked you before...that’s just mean.”
He laughs, and grips my hair, tugging it softly. “I haven’t fucked her, and I didn’t mean to break your nose.”
“You haven’t?” I squeak.
“No, baby, I haven’t. I won’t say there wasn’t some...fondling one night, but we mostly talked.”
“Ew,” I say.
He laughs again, and pulls me into his arms, gently pressing my face to his chest. I sigh and close my eyes. They feel like they’re swollen. “You won’t want to fuck me again when you see me tomorrow.”
“You’re gorgeous, Jaybird. Even if you have a busted up nose.”
I giggle.
“Here we are,” Gloria says, coming back into the room. I sit up, and see her expression is far less cheerful now she’s seen Muff and I cuddling. Get over it, lady. Go find someone else to ‘fondle.’
She patches up my nose, gives me some painkillers, looks longingly at Muff and then we’re on our way. While we’re here, I want to check up on Addi. We head down the hall to where everyone is waiting, and see Cade is standing with them. My heart speeds up. Maybe he has news. We join the group, and Ciara’s eyes widen when she sees me.
“What the fuck happened to you?” She gasps.
Everyone turns to look at me. Can anyone say awkward?
“It’s a long story,” I say. “Cade, is Addi okay?”
Cade smiles down at me. “We just did a scan. The baby’s heartbeat is strong and everything seems okay. They’re not sure why she was bleeding, but they’re looking into it. For now, though, the baby is ok.”
“That’s wonderful,” I breathe.
