They ate together in near silence. Adrian couldn’t think what to say to her anymore. Every topic of conversation felt like a lie. It felt like if he opened his mouth, he would be giving her false hope for a future union, and he knew now that such a thing would never come to pass. He had made his choice.
“Is everything all right, Lord Galdhor?” Lady Katherine asked after a spell.
He looked up at her. Her usual pout was missing, as was the whine in her voice when she felt she wasn’t getting her due attention. She spoke to him quietly now, and there was a sadness in her eyes that he hadn’t seen before.
She knows, he thought.
She couldn’t know, could she? Had he done anything that would give the game away? Hadn’t she just been talking about what things would be like when they were married?
She’s trying to remain hopeful, that’s all. But she suspects. How could she not? You never go out of your way to speak to her. You haven’t given any indication of enjoying her company.
He wasn’t sorry for that. He would hate to have given her false hope. And yet, as little as he liked Lady Katherine, it was difficult to know he was responsible for her sadness.
“Everything is fine,” he told her. “I’m very glad to be out on this picnic with you, Lady Katherine. I truly appreciate you taking the time to show me the grounds of Brackhill Manor.”
That much, at least, was true. He would rather have been picnicking with Lenora, or even on his own. But to have a day out on horseback, looking at these beautiful rolling hills—it was a pleasure. That couldn’t be denied.
She brightened a little. “Perhaps this evening I’ll wear my lavender gown for you,” she said. “It’s just been mended. I’ve been saving it for a special occasion. I think you’ll like it.”
In that moment, Adrian wished he could give her something more. He wished he had some words of encouragement for her. But he could think of nothing.
“I’d like to see that,” he said, and pledged that he would tell her the truth tonight at dinner, no matter what she wore.
Chapter 10
As soon as the picnic with Lady Katherine was over, Adrian excused himself from her company.
“Wouldn’t you like to join me and Mother for tea?” she asked. Again, her usual pout was absent, but there was a hint of desperation to her words. Adrian sensed that she knew her chances with him had slipped away.
“I’m afraid I’ve got a bit of a headache,” he lied. The truth would come out at dinner, but he wanted to speak to Lenora first. He wanted to know whether she would agree to come away with him before he told the Duchess of his feelings for her. If she hoped to stay at Brackhill Manor, his confession might make trouble for her.
He hoped very much that she would agree to come with him, though.
Once away from Lady Katherine, he returned to his rooms to collect his thoughts and change into something a little cleaner. He wanted to look and feel his best for the impending conversation with Lenora.
It was strange. He was not the sort of man who dressed well because it pleased him to do so. Most of the time, he would have said he didn’t care what he wore. He dressed according to custom and social requirement. He dressed to fit in with the rest of his class and to earn the approval of people who mattered.
But Lenora wouldn’t care what he wore. He knew enough of her to know that. She probably wouldn’t even notice what he wore. He could appear before her in his riding clothes, dirty and sweaty, and it wouldn’t at all impact her answer to the question he wanted to ask.
So why was he so concerned with his attire?
It’s because I want to give her the gift of knowing that someone has made an effort for her, he thought. I want her to see me and know by my clothing how important she is to me. He doubted whether anyone had ever made that kind of effort for Lenora in her life, and she deserved it.
So he dressed in his finest things, clothes he had packed in case of a special occasion while he was here. It wasn’t as fine as what he had worn to Lady Katherine’s ball—but that would have been too much, given that nothing was happening today. That would have aroused suspicion.
In brand new pants and a crisp white shirt, he left his room and went looking for Lenora.
It was mid-afternoon, and at this time of day she might be found in a few different places. Often, she was in the library, dusting the books, replacing any that might have been moved on their proper shelves.
He hoped he would find her there. The library would be a good place for the conversation they needed to have. It was private, with a door that closed, and Lady Katherine never ventured there. It was also one of Adrian’s favorite rooms in the house, with its smell of old books and the low lights and stained-glass windows.
But the library was empty.
Perhaps she was in the kitchen? He knew from her conversation with Jimmy in the stables this morning that she hadn’t had a chance to eat breakfast. He knew, too, that the cook often kept food prepared for the rest of the staff, so that they could stop by and eat something quickly if they hadn’t been given enough time for a meal. I’ll find her there. I’m sure of it.
But she wasn’t in the kitchen either. “May I help you, Lord Galdhor?” the cook asked as he entered. She was stirring something in a large pot, and the scent of fish wafted through the kitchen. Fish soup for supper.
“No, thank you,” Adrian said, unwilling to allow word to spread among the staff about what he was doing. No doubt the cook would have been able to point him directly to Lenora, but he would have to find her on his own.
He made his way up to the top floor of the house, thinking that perhaps she had retreated to her little bedroom with Lady Katherine out of the house. That might be a nice place for them to talk. He knew it was the only place in the house where she felt truly comfortable.
There was no sign of her—or of anyone else, for that matter—at the top of the stairs. Which room belongs to her? Adrian wondered, taking in the row of doors at the top of the manor. This would be where many of the servants kept their quarters.
And he couldn’t very well just begin knocking on doors. He had no good reason for being up her.
He had no choice but to turn around and go back the way he had come.
He checked the dining room to see whether she was there, perhaps preparing the table for supper. Nothing. Nor was she in the parlor serving tea to Lady Katherine and the Duchess—he didn’t dare go in and allow them to see him, but he lurked outside the parlor door until he saw one of the kitchen maids enter with the tea tray.
Where could she be?
In all his time at Brackhill Manor, Adrian had never had such trouble locating Lenora. In fact, she had only become easier to find as the days had gone by. He had learned her schedule. He knew where she ought to be.
But she was nowhere. She seemed to have vanished into thin air.
It’s almost as if she knows, he thought suddenly. It’s almost as if she knows what I want to talk to her about and is avoiding me, unwilling to hear it. Afraid to be faced with it.
Was that possible? He didn’t want to think so. But she had told him over and over that their developing friendship wasn’t appropriate. And he had seen how friendly she was with Jimmy.
Jimmy.
If anyone knew where Lenora was, Jimmy might. He was clearly her closest friend at Brackhill Manor.
But could Adrian ask Jimmy for Lenora’s whereabouts? Could he trust Jimmy not to tell anyone that Adrian had been asking after her?
The answer to that was almost certainly yes. Jimmy clearly cared for her just as much as Adrian did. Even if he was upset by the thought of a rival, he wouldn’t do anything that would get Lenora into trouble. It would be safe to ask him.
He only hoped that his inquiry wouldn’t lead to the two of them sharing a laugh at his expense later. But it’s worth the risk, he thought firmly. I have to find her. Until I find her, I can’t talk to her. And I must talk to her before dinner, or else I won’t be able to come clean wi
th Lady Katherine.
He didn’t like Lady Katherine, but she did deserve the truth. And besides, once he broke the news to her and to her mother, he could leave. He could return home.
And I can bring Lenora with me.
He imagined leading her around his own manor. It wasn’t as grand as Brackhill, but there were special touches that made it his own. He would introduce her to his horses—he was sure she would love them. He would show her the nursery where he had grown up. Perhaps our children will call those rooms their own before long.
These fantasies buoyed him, and he made his way down to the stables with his confidence restored. Jimmy would know where Lenora was. It was possible that she would even be down there with him, and that Adrian would be able to talk to her right now.
He didn’t want to talk to her in front of Jimmy. But that won’t be a problem. I’ll ask her to come walking with me. We’re far enough from the manor now that she won’t have to fear being seen.
He reached the stables and walked in. Jimmy was seated on an overturned apple crate, tossing an apple and catching it. When he saw Adrian, he jumped to his feet and stowed the apple in the pocket of his vest. “Begging your pardon, Lord Galdhor,” he said. “Wasn’t expecting anyone this time of night.”
“Not to worry, Jimmy,” Adrian assured the stable hand.
“Were you looking to take a horse out again?” Jimmy asked. “It’s a bit dark for it—they won’t be able to see the path very well. Don’t like to send them out in these conditions, My Lord. Of course, I’ll get one saddled and ready if it’s what you’re asking, but—”
“No, no,” Adrian said. He was touched by Jimmy’s concern for the horses and his boldness in standing up to a man above his station to protect them. Of course Lenora admires him, he thought, reluctant though he was to accept it.
“What brings you down my way, then?” Jimmy asked.
“I was just—well,” Adrian hesitated. But indeed, what was the point in his having come all the way down here if he couldn’t bring himself to ask the question. “I wondered if you had seen Lenora.”
“Lenora?” Jimmy frowned. “Is Lady Katherine looking for her? She isn’t in trouble, is she?”
“No trouble,” Adrian assured him. “And no, Lady Katherine isn’t looking for her.” If Jimmy thought that was the case, he might try to protect Lenora by concealing her whereabouts. “I had hoped to ask her something.”
“I don’t know where she is,” Jimmy said. “I haven’t seen her since this morning. It’s a bit unusual, to tell you the truth. She usually comes by here in the afternoon at some point. I thought Lady Katherine must have her on a task.”
“No, Lady Katherine is taking her tea right now,” Adrian said. “And Lenora isn’t serving.”
“Strange.” Jimmy’s face twisted in a frown. “I haven’t a clue. Is your question one I might be able to answer, Lord Galdhor?”
“No, I—it isn’t important,” Adrian said. “I’ll figure it out on my own, thank you, Jimmy.”
Jimmy nodded. “Is there anything else I might do for you, My Lord?”
“No, there’s nothing.”
“If you do see Lenora, will you tell her I would like to see her?” he asked. “I’m a little worried now.”
“I’m sure everything’s fine,” Adrian said. After all, he had just seen Lady Katherine. She couldn’t be bullying Lenora.
It was more likely that Lenora was simply avoiding him.
But as he made his way back up to the manor, he realized that didn’t make sense. Lenora might have avoided Adrian, but why would she avoid Jimmy? And yet Jimmy hadn’t seen her since this morning either.
Strange.
What if Jimmy was right to be worried? What if something had happened to her? The idea of that gave Adrian a pang, and he felt suddenly heartsick.
I’ve only just met her. I can’t lose her now. Please don’t let anything have happened to her.
He was almost certainly overreacting—and yet, he had a horrible sense that he wasn’t overreacting at all. That something serious was wrong, and that if he didn’t act quickly, he might never see Lenora again. It was as if she had disappeared.
You’re being ridiculous, he told himself. It’s a big manor. There are plenty of places she might yet be. I’ll continue to search for her until supper. I won’t allow myself to lose my head. I’m sure I’ll find her in no time, and then I’ll feel foolish.
Foolish, yes. But it was a foolishness he anticipated, because it would mean that Lenora was all right.
He had been overwhelmed with worry that she might turn down his proposal. Now he merely wanted to see her face, and to know that whether she wanted him as he wanted her or not, she was at least safe and sound.
Where could she be?
* * *
Supper time arrived in short order, and there was still no sign of Lenora.
Adrian could hardly focus on the meal. The Duchess tried again and again to engage him in conversation, but words evaded him.
“Isn’t the soup marvelous, Lord Galdhor?” she asked. “This is one of the cook’s specialties. You won’t find a finer fish soup anywhere.”
“Yes, Your Grace, it’s quite good,” Adrian agreed. The soup was delightful, and in some part of Adrian’s mind he was surprised by it—he had never enjoyed fish soup before, and he had not expected to enjoy this dish.
He would have enjoyed it a lot more, though, if he hadn’t been so distracted. All he could think about was Lenora and the fact that things were unresolved between them.
“Would you like more wine, My Lord?” the Duchess tried again. “It’s a special vintage. We opened it just for tonight’s supper.”
“No, thank you, Your Grace.” Adrian wanted to keep his wits about him. It would have been nice to indulge, given the way he was feeling right now, but he felt the need to keep alert in case a clue to Lenora’s whereabouts surfaced.
“Doesn’t Lady Katherine look lovely in her lavender gown?” the Duchess asked. “She hasn’t worn it in months, but of course it still fits like a glove. And I think it brings out the color of her eyes, wouldn’t you say so?”
“I would, Your Grace.” He hadn’t even noticed what Lady Katherine was wearing. It was just another in her endless parade of gowns. How could they be preoccupied with clothes when a member of their household staff was missing? Had they not even noticed Lenora’s absence?
They must know where she is. That was the only answer that made sense. He knew Lady Katherine disliked Lenora, but she wasn’t so cold as to completely overlook a missing servant.
Lenora must not be missing after all.
Adrian felt embarrassed. He should have known he was overreacting. How foolish he’d been to think that Lenora was missing just because he’d been unable to find her for a few hours. Just because Jimmy hadn’t seen her. This manor was enormous. She was around somewhere. Of course she was.
It was just that he was so utterly confused by the fact that he had feelings for Lenora. He had never expected to become enamored of a maid! But he had never expected to meet a maid who was so lovely, a maid with such wit and kindness.
How could he help but prefer her to Lady Katherine? How could any man?
He would feel better, he thought, more himself, once he had spoken to her. Once he had tracked her down and told her how he felt. Once he had her answer and knew whether she would be accompanying him back to Galdhor Manor.
He had hoped to leave tonight. But it looked now as if he would have to spend one more day at Brackhill.
Adrian regarded Lady Katherine across the table. He felt sorry for her. He could see the spark of hope in her eyes every time her mother spoke to him, and he knew she was waiting for the topic that would finally engage his interest. She wanted to be chosen.
Perhaps she even had feelings for him, although Adrian doubted that. Lady Katherine wanted to make a fine match with a respected member of the ton. She was interested in Adrian for his looks and his title. Nothing more.
To be true, she hardly knew anything about him.
Lenora, though—Lenora knew him. It was true that they hadn’t had as many opportunities to talk as Adrian would have preferred—that would change once they got back to Galdhor Manor. But he had been himself with her in a way he had never felt free to do with Lady Katherine. She had met the real Adrian.
And she liked him. He felt sure of that.
Supper seemed to take forever. It was an exercise in futility—the Duchess continued to try to engage Adrian in conversation, and Adrian continued to give her brief responses. He knew he was being unpleasant, and that his mother would be aghast if she could see him. But she’s going to be aghast anyway, when I bring home a maid instead of the daughter of a duke.
A Game 0f Chess With The Marquess (Historical Regency Romance) Page 13
