“Four cups of coffee and who knows what in those bags…planning to be here a while?” I ask, as my curiosity for her visit is getting to me.
“We haven’t had a girl day in forever. I brought coffee in case you were hung-over, my lush of a friend.” She laughs, “Movies, ice cream, chips, popcorn, and chocolate are in the bags. All things necessary for a fabulous day together.” She says, as she’s unloading the junk food.
“Babe, you had me at coffee, but who am I to deny ice cream and chocolate?” She knows my weaknesses too well.
We settle in with our first cups of coffee on my couch. She has laid out an assortment of man candy movies. Violence, zombies, blood, and well pretty much anything goes as long as there are hot men to drool over. The little voice in the back of my head says that I am not really going to want to have the discussion she is actually here for, so I start to sort through the movies thinking if I hurry we won’t have to talk. Wrong! I’m stopped when her hand reaches out and pulls mine off the DVDs.
“Let’s chat first, Paige.” Her eyes meet mine in a gaze of acceptance, understanding, and compassion.
Blowing out a breath, I reply still attempting to hold back. “What do you want to chat about? Did you go home with Mason last night? Didn’t live up to the hype? I mean you guys have been flirting and dancing around each other, why not give it a go?” Distraction; that’s my first line of defense.
She laughs at the mention of Mason and her eyes dance with excitement. Too bad, but I know this wasn’t enough to derail her.
“I want to chat about you. More importantly, I think we should talk about you and Kale.”
“Not much to talk about, Pipe. In order to talk about me and Kale, there has to be a me and Kale…which there isn’t. Moving on.” I wave my hand dismissively and go to reach for a movie again, but am once more stopped as she takes my hands into her lap.
“This is me you’re talking to. Paige, come on, be real with me. I can see the look in your eyes every single time he’s around. For a long time I thought it was a simple crush, but it’s been forever and the looks never change. Now, when he comes around you find ways to disappear.”
How do I tell my best friend that for as long as I can remember, I have been in love with her brother? Oh yeah, the guy who doesn’t know I exist. The guy who is so far out of my league, not only are we not on the same playing field, we aren’t even playing the same sport. He is playing football and I am playing field hockey. I audibly sigh as she stares at me, waiting for a response.
“He’s Kale Matthew Benson. I don’t know. He’s everything that screams sex without saying one word. He’s confident and in charge. He’s the alpha male. It makes me uncomfortable, that’s all. It’s not my scene so I walk away.”
“Paige, it’s more than that. All those boys are confident, in charge, alpha males, and hell, a little crazy. They jump out of planes to battle out of control fires. Each one of them has to work out daily. Mason, Zeke, Ryan, Devin, Rolando, Leland and Finn are all just like Kale. You can hang out all night with any of them, but not my brother. Any other time, regardless of how drunk he was, you would’ve danced in a corner with Zeke. No, you wouldn’t be front and center anywhere, but you know how to let loose a little, as long as you aren’t the center of attention.”
“Last night, I was too drunk to dance. I didn’t want to bust my ass; otherwise, I would’ve danced with him.”
“You’re so full of shit today! If you were that drunk, you would be hung over as hell right now, not nursing a mild headache that’s more from lack of sleep and dehydration than from alcohol.” She huffs as her tone grows annoyed with my avoidance.
“What do you want me to say Piper?” I ask, hating that she knows me so well right now.
“Did my brother do something to you?” There is a look of desperation and hurt in her eyes.
“No. Why would you say that?”
Panic fills me. It makes me flash back to the one and only real boyfriend I have had, when I was in college. Piper knows about him and the way he treated me; she also knows that I have never been with a man after that, and I recoil a little at the thought of Brian.
Brian O’Malley was a cute pre-Med student I met in one of my chemistry classes’ freshman year. At first, we danced around each other, talking only in class and in the library when he seemed to ‘pop-up’ whenever I was studying. My mother’s teasing and verbal berating of my physical appearance is burnt into my mind. It has made me very insecure, but with Brian I felt it melt away little by little. After months of dating, and on the night of the very first Frat party I ever attended, I decided to give him my virginity. It is one of the biggest mistakes I have ever made and I have nightmares about it still.
It wasn’t all butterflies in my stomach and sweet kisses like they tell you in the movies. It was a beer tainted, rough, painful, clumsy mess and lasted a whole five minutes. I chalked it up to the alcohol, but the next time was worse. Brian wasn’t a believer in foreplay, unless it was me going down on him which he would hold my head down until I gagged and tears filled my eyes, and after the third time we had sex, when it hurt so bad I was in pain for hours, I broke up with him.
“Paige, I get it. You’ve always been shy, especially after you know who,” see, she knows me like an open book. “But more and more, you withdraw when Kale comes around. Did you hook up and he hurt you? What is it? Just tell me… I don’t care what it is. You’re my girl, always. If he’s hurt you, I’ll kick him in the nuts.”
Oh my goodness. She thinks Kale actually broke my heart. Well, he did, and he does with each and every time he brushes me off. It’s unintentional on his side. In order for him to know he’s hurting me, he would have to know I’m alive. Piper doesn’t need to feel caught in the middle or think he has done something he hasn’t.
Avoiding her eyes, I take a deep breath say the words out loud. “I’m in love with him.” I look at my hands, and then at my coffee table with the movies strewn about before I look back up into her familiar stare. The look on her face as I meet her eyes is one of confusion. “But he doesn’t know I exist.”
She smiles, a Piper sunshine and roses smile, wide and ear to ear. Her eyes dance as she realizes what my problem is. “Oh honey, he knows you exist. You are Paige, the other ‘P’ in the pod, babe. He’s a dude. Unless it’s spelled out or you’re standing half naked or fully naked in front of him, he’s not gonna catch on.”
“Huh? He notices every other woman in this town, hell, in this county. I’m not his type, I get it.”
“Sweetie, you’re as clueless about him as he is about your feelings.” She giggles at me while shaking her head. She’s making fun of me and I won’t take it; not about Kale.
“Piper, don’t mock me.”
“You’re in the friend zone. More than that, you’re his baby sister’s best friend. Unless you are in front of him in little to no clothing, he’s not going to see past the six year old in pig tails he used to chase around the backyard with a squirt gun. Men are visual creatures. We’ll sex you up and sass up your wardrobe the next time we go out and he will open his eyes.”
“Piper, I’m not sexing up my clothing. Kale and I come from two different worlds. I’m not the kind of woman he wants.” Although the idea of getting new clothes does peek my interest, but no, I won’t let her win on this. I am who I am. Nerdy, geeky, meek and mild Paige.
“Stop. I know my brother better than he knows himself sometimes. Trust me; all he needs is a nudge in the right direction. Paige, there isn’t a woman better suited for my brother, and his life, than you.”
Wow, that’s something that really hits me. My best friend isn’t angry or beside herself with the giggles knowing that I love her brother. No, she is actually plotting in her little blonde head that he and I are good for each other.
Since my admission, Piper is more relaxed with me. However, her eyes dance that she has found focus and drive for a new cause. Yup, focused on Kale and me. What have I done? Maybe I shouldn’t
have admitted my feelings, but I can’t take it back now.
We spend the day continuing her plans for operation ‘Open Kale’s Eyes’ while snacking and watching movies full of Hollywood’s hottest man candy. For the first time in the last year, I am feeling better about my situation with Kale. Not that I believe Piper can change anything about my situation, but it is nice to not hide my feelings from my best friend anymore. I don’t agree with her idea that Kale needs a nudge, but maybe, in time, she will see that he’s out of my league and move on.
Family dinner night is probably my favorite night of the week. Unless I am out on a call, every Monday night my sister and I go to my mom’s house for dinner. Even though Piper works as a dispatch, I don’t actually see much of her. Since she moved back to McCall from college, we have done this every week. Mom loves having both of us here even if it’s only for a couple of hours.
The nostalgia of being in my childhood home with my mom and sister is a comfort. When my dad was alive we always sat down together for dinner as a family, unless he was out on a call. We shared our day’s highs, lows, and whatever else. After he passed away, my mom still made sure we sat down and ate meals together every day. When I was away at college, on my trips home, I could go out with my friends or whatnot; but, at dinner, my mom expected me to be at this very table at no later than five-thirty every evening. It’s her thing and who am I to deny my mother anything?
Entering the front door, I immediately take off my boots on the rug before I get yelled at for tracking grass or dirt into the house. The warm burgundy curtains against the beige of the living room walls are inviting making me feel home and safe, calming me almost instantly against the days simple aggravations. There are pictures everywhere on the walls of Piper and me growing up, adding to the feeling of home. Walking past the living room, I enter my mom’s favorite space; her kitchen.
The smell of garlic bread invades my nose and makes my mouth water. I smile as my mom swats my sister’s hand out of the bread basket. These two women keep me grounded. They are what I make sure I come out of the flames for. I walk up and hug each of them tightly before we settle in at the table to eat.
“Kale, did you see Paige the other night with Zeke?” Piper asks. Meeting her gaze, her eyes are dancing with excitement.
“Why wouldn’t I see Paige? She’s your other half.”
Seriously, those two are inseparable. Hell, I am surprised they don’t share a brain. Sometimes, I think if some of Paige’s down to earth attitude rubbed off on my sister that she wouldn’t be so airheaded at times.
“Well, I was just wondering if you saw her when we were at Castles the other night.”
“I saw her, yes. I said hello. What’s with the Zeke stuff?” Might as well ask, Piper obviously wants to go down this road for some reason.
“Nothing, he was drunk. She was drunk. They talked and went home.” Piper says, watching me intently.
Baby sister, what are you up to? Why is there this deep, inkling feeling that I should be worried about this?
“They went home, huh? Does Paige need me to be big brother or something? I know she’s shy. Zeke, he’s not. He’s a young, single guy; he’s not gonna settle down if that’s what she’s looking for. Whatever they did, they did. She’s got to put her big girl panties on and deal. He’s my teammate. I’m not getting involved because she read too far into a drunken escapade.”
“Kale Matthew Benson! If Paige needs you to be there for her, then you do it! That girl is our family. She didn’t have the easiest of time growing up.” My mother scolds and I nod my head.
I know Paige’s home life wasn’t the easiest as she spent a lot of nights sleeping in the double bed that Piper had, but I’m still not going to step in over some stupid drunken escapade. Piper is laughing as I drop my head to my plate. She knew mom would step in and make me be there for Paige.
“Oh my dear brother, Paige wears pretty panties. I don’t think you could handle her lace and silk. She doesn’t need you to protect her from Zeke, no worries.”
What the hell is Piper saying? I can handle anything from Paige Lockley, especially if it involves lace and silk. She would be almost too easy to bend. That little ‘P’ couldn’t handle what I would give her and suddenly my interest is a little peaked.
“Then why bring it up?” I question, but Piper’s expression gives nothing more away. “Look, I’ll keep an eye on Zeke, but I’m not gonna tell him what to do with Paige or any other woman.”
“Conversation, Kale, I’m makin’ simple conversation.” Piper says with a smile and a bat of her eyelashes. My sister is up to something that’s for damn sure. I don’t know what, but she’s definitely plotting.
“Nothing is ever simple with you Pipe.” I retort with a huff.
“Maybe you can bring Paige to dinner this week, Piper?” My mom asks.
Mom has always loved Paige. She used to be close with Paige’s mom, but when we were younger, they just stopped talking out of the blue. I’m not sure what happened. For years now, they barely even say hello when they pass one another in the grocery store; I know, I’ve been shopping with my mother on one or two occasions when I’ve witnessed it.
Dinner continues with us catching up on the last week. We sit down in the living room, each with a cup of coffee. Relaxing on the couch, my sister turns to face me, her eyes dancing once again.
“Paige is volunteering at the animal clinic now.” Piper starts on the Paige topic again.
“Well, she’s good for that job. She has always loved animals and being out in nature.”
“I don’t know how she does it all. Working full time at the county environmental office and then doing her rotations at the clinic.”
“Well, Pipe, some of us like having a social life and others don’t. Paige isn’t much for going out, so it’s a good job for her.”
“She likes to go out, Kale. She just needs to meet the right person to take her out.”
“Paige needs a hermit, crab of a man. She’s more likely to meet her type of man at her job than going out anyhow.” I try to think back to the last time that I saw Paige with a man, and frankly, I can’t bring up one. Wait, maybe when she was in college? I don’t fucking know, and again, I feel my interest being spiked by the look on my sisters face.
“Oh, Kale, you would be surprised at who her type of man is.” Piper laughs as she gets up to take her empty cup to the kitchen.
Why do I care what type of man, Paige Lockley wants to date? My sister needs to get a hobby or volunteer or something. Apparently, her week was boring if everything had to come back to Paige tonight.
But then again, what is up with Paige? I still want to know why she moved away from the table when I arrived at the bar. Well, whatever my sister is up to, she has my gears turning about Paige.
CHAPTER FOUR
Finally, the fire line is cut. The blaze contained to a small perimeter. Walking through the smoke resonating off the forest floor we are doing a quick scan looking for hot spots before we check out of this one. The fire call came at dawn and took us over fourteen hours to control and eventually contain, then two more hours of surveying the land. The mountainside now an ugly version of what was once a beautiful vast of trees and wildlife. The sun has set; we are maneuvering through with our flashlights when I come across a small fawn in a small thicket that somehow is okay in the midst of the mess of smoldering ash surrounding it. Newly born, still half wrapped in the after birth, it seems abandoned and neglected by its mother. The fire possibly sent the Doe into early labor. Nature has its own brand of instincts so she left the fawn thinking it too weak to survive.
Removing my jacket, I scoop up the helpless baby deer as I hear Mason radio in that we have an animal rescue coming back with us. The crackling comes back through on the radio, the fawn never moves, its breathing labored but still there. Fight or flight is gone from this baby, it is unresponsive. If we don’t take it in there is no chance of survival.
“Area cleared for Team Tango.
Gather your gear, take the animal to the clinic and head home boys.” Fire Captain Laus says over the radio.
“Roger out.” Mason replies back in as he’s pulling his jacket off and wiping his sweat and soot covered face on his shirt.
“Let’s get out of here man. Drop that fawn by Breathe Easy and go get showers and sleep. Damn if the opening of fire season is any indication of what things will be like we are in for a long summer.” Mason says as he’s adjusting to carry my gear bag for me now that I have the fawn in my arms.
“Yes, to get the grime off and cool down will be a welcomed reprieve man.”
We make our way to the rally point. Ground Fire Captain Patrick Laus is waiting by fire engine eleven as we approach. Seeing the injured animal he looks at me and points to the Ford F150 truck with volunteer emergency lights still running.
“Take my truck and get the animal to the clinic Benson. I’ll ride back in ladder eleven with the rest of your team.” He says pulling out the keys to the truck. “This key is to the back door of the clinic. If one of the volunteers is in the observation room or has an animal out they can’t always get to the door. It’s past hours so the doors will be locked.”
We jump into the fires. Our transportation in is by air so our extraction is usually a lift by the local fire department back to our base. The plane is still circling overhead for aerial surveillance in case a hot spot ignites.
“You want me to go with you man?” Mason asks as I start to walk away.
“Nah, I got this. Go shower and rest, I’ll meet you at the gym tomorrow morning, usual time.”
With a nod to my teammates, I settle the fawn in the front seat of the truck. The lights from the engines bringing life to the smoke filled blackness as I bring the vehicle to life. I wipe my eyes with the hem of my t-shirt. Mason has my gear. Since I’m gonna drop the fawn off and head home, I’ll just get it from him tomorrow.
Kale (The Fire Inside #1) Page 3
