How? What? Christ!
She’d been there countless times when she and Chris dated, and she immediately recognised the hall and the door on her left that led to another bedroom. Chris had disappeared into the bathroom Hayley remembered was on the right, so she rushed down the narrow staircase, instinctively avoiding the third step from the top because it creaked. She half expected Chris’ mother to appear, demanding Hayley explain her presence immediately. It would have been a difficult thing to do.
Clothes! Where are my clothes? My bag? What the fuck am I doing here?
Hayley charged into the kitchen. For a second, she felt a rush of vertigo. The cabinets had her favourite maple facings and the walls the exact off-white of her own kitchen. At first glance, it looked a bit like her house in Chiswick. Her eyes travelled round the room and came to rest on a Union Jack teapot displayed in one of the glass-fronted cabinets. It stopped her cold.
Her mum had given her a limited edition teapot exactly like it on her eighteenth birthday. Two days later Hayley had dropped the lid. You could still see the join where she’d clumsily glued it back together. She walked over to the cabinet and peered at the teapot, her eyes seeing the uneven edges of the do-it-yourself job, her brain trying to understand the implications.
It’s mine. But mine’s at home. Does Chris have one too? With the same break in it?
Hayley rubbed her head again.
That can’t be right. But I didn’t give him my teapot.
She blinked quickly half a dozen times.
Let’s replay this.
She remembered leaving Ellen’s the night before. Recalled paying the driver when he pulled up in front of her house. She was sure she remembered going to bed at home. Almost sure. Blood drained from her face and a shiver travelled down her spine inch by inch. Then it went all the way back up again.
Surely I didn’t ask the driver to take me to Chris’ place? I’m not that stupid. Am I?
She hadn’t even known that he still lived here and yet, somehow, she’d ended up in his house, with him upstairs. Naked. Unclothed. Birthday suited.
She fumbled around for a chair to steady herself and her stomach turned.
Oh fucking hell, no. I’ve cheated on Rick!
CHAPTER 5
1988
It was Genius
What Genius lacked in class and style it certainly made up for in fun, and in 1988 it was one of the coolest clubs in Ealing. Located in the basement of a Victorian property on one of the main streets, it hosted alcohol-free discos every Saturday afternoon from one o’clock until five o’clock. The under twenties came in their droves to dance, pose and pretend they were grown-ups, and this Saturday in October was no exception.
When Hayley and Ellen arrived they were greeted by the thick air, already full of the smell of sweat. A machine in the corner blew out a steady pffffffft of smoke that mixed with the strobe lights and made funky spider web patterns on the walls. Thirty or so bodies moved on the dance floor at the centre of the room to Kylie Minogue’s ‘I Should Be So Lucky’. Hayley hated the song – she felt as if it had been written about her love-life. Or lack of it.
They dumped their coats in the make-shift cloakroom at the bottom of the stairs and got a couple of fizzy drinks from the bar.
Hayley looked at Ellen, dressed in a black and green rah-rah skirt, red tank top and stilettos. She’d topped off her look with twenty bangles on each arm and a couple of long, multi-coloured necklaces. Her thick, blonde hair was bunched up and tied together with a bow, à la Madonna meets The Bangles. The flawless make-up – smoky eyes, big pink lips – accentuated her cheek bones and perfected her pout.
Hayley wished she looked as good.
Fat chance.
She’d planned on wearing her white drainpipe trousers, but, in typical Hapless Hayley fashion, she’d dropped her mascara, which had left a huge black splodge behind that no amount of rubbing, blotting or praying to the God of Rimmel would ever remove.
‘I look like sodding Minnie Mouse with these white boots and black trousers,’ Hayley shouted over the music. ‘And my stupid hair. I look like a sheep. If a farmer walks in he’ll pull out the shears.’
‘The boots are great, the trousers fine and your hair’s not frizzy,’ Ellen said.
‘Really?’ Hayley touched the bird’s nest on top of her head.
‘Really. Everyone’s getting perms these days and you don’t have to. And your skin’s looking much better too. You look ace.’
Hayley managed a smile. Being called Zitty Pimpleson at school hadn’t helped her confidence, and trying to be the smartest one in the class had backfired.
Good move, Hayley. They still call you Spotty Swotty.
She shrugged. ‘Thanks, but it doesn’t matter. Nobody’s going to notice me anyway.’
‘Will you stop it? There are tons of boys here. You never know. You might meet the love of your life today.’
‘Hah. Love of my life? Yeah, right. But speaking of… is he here yet?’
‘Who?’
Hayley grinned. ‘Oh give over. You know exactly –’
‘Wotcha!’ A head popped up between their shoulders and Hayley felt an arm being draped over her shoulder. ‘Great to see you both. How are you?’
‘Oh, hi Mark,’ Ellen said and flicked her hair. ‘We’re cool.’
Hayley could tell the aloofness was as genuine as the Ray-Bans she’d bought at the market for three quid. Mark was the reason why Ellen insisted on going back to Genius in the first place.
‘He’s nineteen,’ Ellen had gushed last week after she’d danced with him for over an hour. ‘Only two years older than us. He’s studying finance at university. And he plays guitar in a rock band called The Bruised Bananas. He’s so cool.’
Hayley looked at Mark from under her fringe. She could see why Ellen fancied him. When he smiled it accentuated the dimples in his cheeks, and his red Mötley Crüe Theatre of Pain T-shirt hung loosely on his frame. Ellen had already told Hayley that his mullet would have to go. Lucky for him Ellen had taken a job as a hairdresser trainee after her O-levels.
Hayley suppressed a sigh and tried not to pout.
They fancy the pants off each other. Great. I feel as welcome as a T-Rex at a vegan party.
‘I’m going to the loo,’ Hayley said, leaning in so they could hear. ‘Back in a sec.’
Or in an hour, more like.
She walked past a group of guys with her head down. She’d always felt awkward around boys – whether she found them attractive or not – and never knew what to say. Even with her braces out, her teeth straight and her metal smile gone, she felt, well, awkward. In comparison to Ellen, Hayley usually ended up standing in a corner, fiddling with her drink and chewing on a straw. At least she couldn’t say anything stupid with a full gob.
As she made her way through the crowded room she tripped over a handbag, stumbled into the guy in front of her and fell down sideways. The guy she’d bumped into turned round and, seeing Hayley lying in a heap on the floor, quickly knelt down to help her up.
‘Are you okay?’ he asked.
She felt the heat rising from the bottom of her neck and spreading across her face. ‘I think so,’ she muttered, noticing a group of people staring and snickering. When she looked up at the guy she’d collided with, her embarrassment hit stratospheric levels in less than a nanosecond.
He’s gorgeous. Drop dead gorgeous. Oh just kill me now. Open up, floor. Open up.
Now Hayley stared, but she couldn’t help it. Despite him being on his knees he towered over her. His brown eyes were as smooth and warm as a delicious Galaxy bar. She looked at his dark hair, short at the sides with a hint of a quiff. Then she took in his all-black outfit; leather boots, jeans, belt with a silver buckle, tank top and leather jacket.
He looks like he’s stepped straight out of a page in Vogue.
‘Let me help you,’ he said, getting up and holding out his hand. Hayley grabbed it and he pulled her up effortlessly and she was
amazed he didn’t wince at her weight.
‘Sorry,’ she said. It came out as a ‘shwowee’ so she coughed and cleared her throat, buying some time. ‘I mean sorry. I tripped on a handbag on my way to the toilet for a pee.’
Oh my god, I just said ‘pee’. Will you shut up!
He grinned. ‘No problem. What’s your name?’
Name … uh, what is my name?
‘Oh, erm, Hayley.’
‘I’m Chris. I’m going to get a drink. Want one? After you’ve been to the bathroom?’ He smiled and winked. Hayley wished she could hold on to something to stop her from falling over again.
Sexiest smile, ever. Hang on. Did he really ask me if I wanted a drink?
Butterflies in fighter-jets flew loop-the-loops in her stomach.
‘Yes please,’ she said and fled to the loo.
Keep cool, keep cool. Don’t blow it. Don’t say anything stupid. Don’t even talk …
She checked her hair in the mirror and smoothed down her shirt, wishing she looked three times as pretty and felt ten times as confident. She wanted to splash her face with some water but decided against it as it might mess up her make-up. Besides, the blue fluorescent light was hardly ideal for pan stick touch-ups. Hayley swallowed hard, then took a deep breath and walked out of the bathroom.
Chris was there waiting and he led the way, bought two pops and handed one to her. She took a big gulp and managed not to cough and splutter when the fizzy bubbles almost went up her nose. Standing at the bar, desperately trying not to chew on her straw, Hayley felt the familiar sense of dread.
I’ve got to say something. Anything. Before he walks off.
‘Do you …’ they both said at the same time and then laughed.
Chris gestured with his right hand and bowed slightly. ‘Ladies first.’
She swallowed. ‘Do you like the film Dirty Dancing?’
Idiot! What did you say that for?
‘With Patrick What’s-his-name?’
‘Swayze.’
How could he not know Patrick Swayze’s name? The man was a god. The way he danced and his American accent were so hot. The first time she saw the film – and the four times after that – she wanted to claw her way into the screen and be Baby. She’d have fought Jennifer Grey with her hands tied behind her back. And she’d have won.
‘Swayze. Yeah, that’s it,’ Chris said. ‘It’s a bit of a girly film, isn’t it?’
‘Girly?’ She sniffed. This was sacrilege. ‘You make it sound crap. And it isn’t. It’s about a girl who meets a guy at a stuffy holiday resort and he teaches her to dance. It’s ace.’ She crossed her arms and stuck out her chin.
Chris’ eyes twinkled. ‘So … it’s not a favourite of yours or anything then?’
Hayley dropped her shoulders. ‘Definitely.’ She smiled. ‘The music’s brilliant and the dancing’s amazing. It’s so cool and –’
Chris nodded and shouted, ‘Give me a minute.’ He walked away.
He’s going. You stupid idiot. You blew it!
Hayley watched him weave his way through the crowd to the DJ and yell something in his ear. They both looked at her, then the DJ nodded.
Oh no, what’s he doing? Telling him he met Little Miss Dull?
She started looking around for Ellen so she could tell her she wanted to leave, but when Yazz’s ‘The Only Way Is Up’ faded and the next record started playing, Hayley recognised it immediately. ‘The Time of My Life’, the Dirty Dancing theme song. Chris stood in front of her and held out his hand, then he leaned in towards her.
‘You said the dancing’s good, yeah?’
She nodded.
‘Show me.’
They moved onto the dance floor and Hayley thought she might throw up. This kind of stuff didn’t happen in real life, at least, not to Hayley. She wondered if it was a dream or some kind of hallucination. Maybe she was actually lying in hospital, running a high fever, or even dying, her family gathered around her, weeping, and all the while she was being whisked off her feet by a demi-god. Or a god. Who was she to tell the difference?
Breathe.
Chris held her hand tightly, an encouraging smile playing on his lips.
Oh help. I’m not dreaming. This is ridiculous. Everyone’s staring …
‘It’s a bit, uh, sexy …’ she said.
‘Show me.’
Hayley placed her right leg between his and moved in close. She took his hands and put them on her waist before slipping her arms around his neck. Then they started moving to the music. A rush of excitement travelled through her body, making her tingle. She realised that, while she could dance well, Chris was far better. He got the moves right away, guiding her, pulling her even closer. Hayley’s pulse quickened.
Oh heck. His crotch is almost touching mine.
Other couples started watching and then copying them, until the room looked like the Kellerman’s resort itself. Hayley couldn’t believe she was dancing with this cool and handsome stranger. She caught sight of Ellen and Mark who were a few feet away.
Ellen winked at Hayley, pointed at Chris and mouthed, ‘Wow.’
The exhilaration kept on going for each new dance. When the slow songs came on, Chris pulled Hayley even closer and she could smell his deodorant and minty breath. She smiled.
This is so much better than standing in a corner. And nobody puts Hayley in a corner.
‘I’m glad we met today,’ he said as they swayed to the music.
‘Me too,’ Hayley whispered as she closed her eyes and put her head on his shoulder.
They didn’t stop dancing until the crowd thinned out, the lights came on and the music stopped. Chris helped Hayley into her coat and they walked up the stairs behind Ellen and Mark, who were holding hands.
‘Right then,’ said Chris, ‘I’d better go. See you next Saturday?’
‘Yes please, that would be ace.’
Oh shut up you pathetic, desperate cow!
Chris grinned, then leaned over, gently put his index finger under her chin and softly kissed her cheek.
‘I’ll look forward to it,’ he said.
Hayley’s legs trembled and she leaned against the wall. As she watched Chris walk away, he turned and winked at her, and the butterflies in her stomach turned into psychotic bats.
Ellen rushed over. ‘Well? Did he kiss you? Did he? What was it like?’
Hayley shook her head. ‘Only on the cheek.’ She sighed. ‘I’m still waiting for my first kiss.’
‘You’ve been kissed before,’ Ellen said, the corners of her mouth twitching.
‘No I haven’t!’
Ellen put her hands on her hips. ‘Oh yes you have,’ she said in a pantomime villain voice.
‘Oh no I haven’t.’ Hayley laughed. ‘Bobby Hill behind the bike sheds doesn’t count. That slimy tongue and his groping hands. Ugh.’
‘Wotcha!’ Mark appeared behind them, making Hayley jump. ‘You were showing Chris some right old moves.’
‘You know him?’ Hayley said.
‘We went to the same comprehensive for a while.’ Mark shrugged. ‘He’s got a bit of a reputation. With the lay-dees.’
Hayley’s heart sank.
Of course he’s a player. He’s probably forgotten me already.
While Ellen and Mark said goodbye with a rather long and very public snog, she sat on the wall, swinging her legs and thinking about what Mark had said. So Chris had a reputation – that was hardly ground breaking news, surely. He was gorgeous, all the girls would be after him, they’d be mad not to. She frowned. There had been dozens of prettier girls at the disco and yet Chris had chosen her, danced with her, only had eyes for her.
Hayley sucked in a lungful of cold air and puffed out her cheeks, then felt herself sit up that little bit straighter with an inch of freshly grown backbone.
CHAPTER 6
A Different Life
Hayley stood perfectly still in Chris’ kitchen, unable to move despite her instincts telling her to get the hell out
of there. The steady tick-tock from the clock on the kitchen wall was deafening.
What the … how …? Did I meet Chris somewhere and go home with him?
She shook her head. That wasn’t something she’d do. Maybe she’d spotted Chris on her way home, asked the taxi driver to give him a ride and ended up at his place? She tried forcing her memory but nothing came.
It doesn’t make sense.
Nothing made sense. Cold sweat trickled down her back and the dressing gown stuck to her body, making her shiver, so she pulled it away from her skin.
I need to get back to Rick and the kids. Oh shit.
She’d never cheated on Rick, never even kissed another man since they’d met. Yes, they were having problems, but cheat on him? She hadn’t seen, let alone spoken to Chris in almost twenty years but now she’d woken up in bed with him. Images of his bobbing penis flashed through her mind and she shook her head again in an attempt to get them out of her brain.
What did I do? Why can’t I remember? Did I go to a club? Or a bar?
She dismissed the theory as quickly as it had entered her muddled brain. She’d been at Ellen and Mark’s. They’d had drinks. She’d gone straight home.
Unless … unless I went on somewhere afterwards and someone spiked my drink?
She reached for the counter to steady herself.
What am I going to tell Rick? He must be frantic. Do the kids know I’m not home?
Hayley’s eyes darted around the kitchen for her mobile and when she couldn’t find it, she grabbed the phone on the kitchen counter and punched in her home number.
Before she heard it ring on the other end, she slammed the phone down.
No! We have caller ID.
Taking in big gulps of air, she closed her eyes and breathed out through her nose.
Think, Hayley, think.
She ran to the bathroom by the front door. Her head pounded, and as she sat on the toilet her stomach twisted itself into knots the size of tennis balls.
How could I let this happen?
She washed her hands and splashed cold water on her face. It slowed her breathing down, but only until she looked in the mirror.
Time After Time Page 4