She shook her head in affirmation.
“If I felt uncomfortable about myself, I wouldn’t hesitate to take action to feel more confident. If that was working out every day, eating healthier, or plastic surgery, I’d do whatever I needed to do for me—not someone else and their perception of what I should be.”
“I agree with you, but Aria, I always thought you were happy with yourself. You seemed so confident. Even when we were younger, I always thought you were so sweet and pretty.”
“Most women are very good actresses. They let you see what they want you to see,” I said. “Sweet, pretty, and confident. Isn’t that how women want other women to see them? I’m no exception, but I was living a lie. Each time I examined myself in the mirror, I tore myself to shreds. Honestly? Declan helped me to change that.”
She smiled and shook her head at me. “Do you realize that you smile every time you say his name?”
Her statement made me feel warm inside.
“He does make me smile. Other than making me fall in love with him, the difference that he has made in my life is that he opened my eyes to the difference between manufactured beauty and true beauty.”
Her eyes were a bit misty. “It makes me sad to think of you as insecure, Aria. I’ve always been beautiful, both inside and out.”
“But I didn’t see myself that way—ever. I’m beginning to see myself that way more and more because he constantly calls me ‘Beautiful’. I’m not going to say that I don’t have days that I think my thighs are a bit too dimpled or my hair is too curly, but I’m learning to love them as uniquely me. I’m a person who loves, genuinely loves, the people in her life. They are my gifts. I’ve realized there are many definitions of beauty, and I won’t ever hold myself to the same definition that I once did.”
I thought for a few minutes, took a few bites, and then continued.
“Paige, you knew my dad. My father went to his death losing his body piece by piece. He thought less of himself because of the amputations, but it didn’t make me love him any less. It didn’t make my mom love him any less. We both know that my mom can be a bit overprotective at times, and she admits that she can be a bit assertive, but it doesn’t make me love her any less. Declan is handsome and adored by countless women for how he looks, which can be a real pain to his girlfriend, but it doesn’t make me love him any less. If he weren’t good on the inside, it wouldn’t matter to me how good looking he was; in my eyes he would be gross.”
That last statement made both of us laugh in agreement.
“He really is good, though. He’s helped me to see that the contents within your heart are the true measure of ‘beauty’. I knew it all along; I just had to see it through someone else’s eyes.”
“You are a beautiful woman…”
“So are you, Paige” I assured my friend, “and one day you will pass that on to your family. Declan constantly reinforces to me that ‘having one beautiful inside, is worth more than a million beautiful outsides’. I guess what he tells me is true.
We sat quietly for a few minutes, letting the words sink in. No matter how many times I said them to myself, each time I repeated them they sank in just a little deeper.
Paige reached across the table and put her hand over mine.
“He’s lucky to have you, you know that?” She was getting misty again.
I started laughing at her. “Stop. You’re going to have us both crying. Do you realize how silly it would sound to any magazine if they heard us say that Declan was lucky to have me?”
“I don’t care how silly it would sound to them! I think you’ve taught him as much as he’s taught you. You’ve taught him that love changes everything.”
…and at The Studio, as Declan was making his final presentation of the day, he was mindful of how much had recently changed…
T She Plays Up To You – Clairy Browne & The Bangin’ Rackettes
On my drive back up Coastal Highway, I decided to drop in to see Declan at The Studio. After my conversation with Paige, wonderful thoughts of him filled my mind, and I wanted to see his handsome face, even if just for a few moments.
He’d mentioned that Blake Matthews was sending down a small group of prospective models who were very young. He was hoping that Declan could speak with them, in a mentor-like capacity, letting them know what to expect when venturing into the world of fashion modeling. Blake thought it would be of benefit for them to speak with someone who had been in the industry and had experienced the advantages and disadvantages. I couldn’t think of a more qualified mentor than Declan.
“Hi, Aria!” Katherine called to me as I strolled into the lobby. “How have you been?”
I couldn’t help but smile at what a wonderful projection Katherine gave of The Studio. She was the epitome of professionalism from the moment I walked through the door.
“Great! How are you, Katherine? I haven’t seen you in a while.”
“I can’t complain. Declan’s still in a meeting with those young people that Blake sent down. Was he supposed to meet you?”
“No. I was just popping in to see him. If you think he will be long, then I’ll just meet him at home. I don’t want to disturb him.”
Katherine gave me a look that let me know that I wasn’t imposing.
“He’d never think you are disturbing him, and you know it. I think he’s almost finished. He’s in the large conference room. Blake sent five prospects for him to interview. You can go around and take a peek. He should be coming out of the conference room soon.”
“Thank you. We have to get together soon, okay?”
“Absolutely!” she answered as I was walking down the hall. “Just let me know when, and I’ll be there.”
I walked around to the bay side of the building, where the large conference room was located. The sun was just beginning to descend as we approached dusk. The rooms had glass walls so the view of the bay was unobstructed and beautiful.
I saw Declan sitting at the conference table, speaking with the small, and very attractive, group. He was so handsome and confident. He carried himself so well and was such a wonderful example of his industry. Who wouldn’t want to be like him?
I couldn’t hear him, but I could see from his expression that he spoke with passion and that the topic also brought him pleasure. He wore a smile that always melted my heart, and if it had the same effect on these people, then they’d want whatever he was talking about.
I began looking around the table to see the beautiful faces. None looked to be over the age of twenty-one. There were three gorgeous girls and two very handsome young men—all were focused on Declan. They each had a folder of information from The Studio in front of them on the conference room table. It made me recall the weekend Aimee, Katherine, Declan, and I stood at that table, assembling the first of the packets of information and placing them in those folders. We ordered pizza and spent an entire Saturday to do it.
A movement from the back of the conference room suddenly interrupted my reminiscing and caught my eye. I turned my head and saw her. What was it about her that always threw my nervous system into overdrive, and what was it that I was feeling? Panic? Anger? Disbelief? I couldn’t quite put my finger on it. T
The sight of Marisol sitting in the back of the conference room had completely caught me off guard. She was intensely watching Declan as he completed his conversation with the group.
As they all smiled and stood to exit the room, each approached him to address him as they went through the door.
“Thank you, Mr. Sinclair. That was great. I know so much more now about the industry…” I heard one of them say.
He addressed a few of them, “My pleasure. I hope the information I provided will help. You need the proper tools in order to make a good decision. Read it over and please feel free to call with any questions.”
He walked over to me.
“Hey, Beautiful. This is a nice surprise. I didn’t know you were stopping by,” he greeted me with a kiss.
“I wouldn’t have if I’d known you had company. I didn’t know she would be here.” I said and directed my head in the direction of Marisol, who was approaching us.
“Hello, Aria. So nice to see you,” her sugary fake voice addressed me.
“Marisol,” I acknowledged.
She went right around me.
“Declan, those kids hung on to every word you said. You were great!” she said, addressing Declan.
“Thanks. I like helping them to make an educated decision.”
“I’d say that you’re very good at it. Let me gather them together. I’ll be sending them back to New York in the limo. I’ll tell Blake how much they liked your talk. Maybe he’ll send more people and you can do this again.”
“Wonderful,” I muttered under my breath.
“Ciao guapo,” she said, smiling a dazzling and sexy smile in his direction. She kissed him lightly on the cheek. Turning to me, she wrinkled her nose as if she smelled something bad and smirked. “Ciao.”
Marisol sashayed out of the conference room, making her grand exit.
I stood in semi-shock.
Turning to Declan, I could feel the loathing for her rising up within me.
“What the hell was that?” I interrogated.
“What was what?” Declan answered clueless.
“Marisol!” I exclaimed. “When did she become a Studio regular?”
“Blake sent her down with a group of prospects. It was business. That’s all.”
He didn’t have a clue that Marisol appeared to have an underlying agenda. It was time that I educated him.
“It doesn’t look like Marisol thinks that’s all there is to it. You need to open your eyes, Declan. You may have been bantering back and forth before, but I think she’s more cunning than that.”
“It doesn’t matter what she thinks, Aria,” his voice becoming firm and authoritative. “This is my business, and I said that’s all it is.”
I wasn’t going to let Marisol play her games. Not here. She may have gotten away with them when she and Declan had to work on assignments together, but she wasn’t going to play these games with us. Not without him being made aware of the obsessive and threatening behavior she had underlying in her manner toward me. She exhibited it whenever she was in my presence.
“Since when did you become so comfortable with her being here? You used to hate her being anywhere near us. You acted like you were my bodyguard whenever she was near me. What changed? Is it about her pull and the money she can bring to The Studio? Is that what you’re becoming? Is that what you’re all about?” He shot me a cold glare.
“You can’t pull anything over on me, Dec, I know you too well. There’s more to it, whether you admit it or not. Do you not see that she was hanging on your every word? She was looking at you like you were a piece of choice meat, and me like a piece of shit; like I was an obstacle in her path to get to you.”
“Aria, knock it off. You’re overreacting. I can handle her.”
I was beginning to feel angry and upset at the same time. “No, I won’t. I don’t think I am…and I don’t think you can.”
Declan looked angrily at me, then momentarily considered my statements. He could sense the anger and fear I felt. Somehow, I sensed that Marisol was becoming a threat to more than our relationship. She was working her way into the business.
“Well, I do,” he said calmly and dismissively, as if to pacify me. “She was sitting in the back of a room, and now she’s gone.”
I opened my mouth to speak but Declan interrupted me “Aria!—End of story.”
Who the hell did he think he was? It wasn’t the end of story for me! This was my life and she was a psycho!
“It’s not the End of Story, Declan! She gave a true, Marisol grand exit. She was smirking at me and kissing you on the cheek. That was all for my benefit!”
He faced me in this stand-off. Our points of views were miles apart at this moment. Declan crossed his arms and stood with his legs apart as if he were facing an enemy when he spoke to me.
“No, it wasn’t for your benefit, Aria. Don’t be so paranoid. That’s the way she says goodbye to everyone. Look, you’re making this into a big deal and it isn’t.”
Was he really that blind to the manipulations of a madwoman? He knew how Marisol had behaved in the past. What would prevent him from seeing through her games now?
“It isn’t a big deal to you, Declan, but it is to me. A very big deal. She’s trying to hurt us. Not only are you not seeing it, you’re trivializing how it makes me feel and, frankly, I think it’s all because of money.”
“Aria! Stop it! You’re letting your insecurities get the best of you, you’re pissing me off and you sound childish.”
With that, Declan turned his back to me to gather his things out of the conference room, dismissing me.
I wasn’t done with this. Now not only was I angry because of Marisol, I was now furious with Declan.
“Screw you, Declan! My insecurities? Because of Marisol? That’s a low blow for you! What are you doing? Taking comments that I’ve confided to you and turning them against me. She’s a bitch, and I wouldn’t want to be her. She doesn’t make me insecure. The fact that she’s a psycho and a stalker would be what’s getting the best of me right now. Maybe you should get the dollar signs out of your eyes to see how emotionally unstable she is. She’ll use any excuse to get close to you, and right now you may just be money-hungry enough to let her!”
He turned out the lights in the conference room, grabbed my hand and led me through the door.
“I don’t want to discuss this now. Let’s just go home.”
The man was exasperating.
“I don’t want to go home. I want to talk about this now!”
…Stand off…
We stared at each other for several moments. It was as if we were waiting to see who’d blink first.
Finally, Declan spoke, “Look, Aria. I’m going to have to be around her once in a while if The Studio is going to thrive and grow. You must have seen that. She’s a top model. There are lots of models coming in and out of here, if you haven’t noticed. She’ll be bringing prospects, or maybe even consulting with some, to help the business. Clients that we’ve both worked for may be sending her with prospects. You must understand my business enough to know that having her around is a part of it.”
“Really, Declan?” I said like a smartass. “Talking down to me about business is unattractive, even on you. I can respect business, but how does that fit in with the unbalanced way she’s behaved with me personally in the past? Business and personal are two different things! She’s alarmed even you with her actions. Do we just dismiss all that because she behaved well today? How can you say it doesn’t matter?”
His shoulders relaxed and some of the anger left his voice. I thought it was because he was trying to rationalize the situation. My mistaken analysis of Declan relaxing was in actuality due to his lack of sleep.
“It doesn’t matter because this isn’t about you!” he said waving his arms to indicate The Studio as a whole. “It’s about business. My business. It isn’t always personal, Aria. If you wouldn’t have stopped in here tonight unannounced, then you would never have known she was here.”
…I stopped—dead…
“So, in other words, you wouldn’t have disclosed it to me?”
I waited for an answer. None came. He just continued his professional, macho stance as he glared at me until I spoke.
“That’s what I thought.”
I could feel the tears that were threatening to spill along with the anger that would fuel the release of them.
As I turned and walked away from him, I heard him call my name, but I just kept walking. I was angry and hurt that he couldn’t see that Marisol was a threat to him, to his business, to me, and to our relationship. The fact that he couldn’t—no, wouldn’t—see through her games and tactics pissed me off. If I stayed here and faced him, then I knew that I’d say things that I�
��d later regret. The better decision was to walk away.
I couldn’t go home, so I drove to Paige’s. I didn’t want to be near him—we needed some space.
Marisol was many things to me. A bitch, conniver, manipulator, liar, parasite, elitist, deviant, leech, and psychopath—the list could go on and on. The role that she played well was Chameleon, and that was what alarmed me. She was now misleading Declan into believing that she was attempting to help him grow his business—but I knew better, and it terrified me.
Marisol was scheming, I could feel it. She didn’t expend her energy unless there was a benefit for her. She had an ulterior motive, and I’d do my best to expose her for what her true incentives were. She was beginning to infiltrate my life with Declan on every level. The fact that he wasn’t going to tell me that she was at The Studio was a clear sign of that. She had an evil agenda, and I was on to her.
Marisol had to be stopped.
…and as Declan sped away from The Studio, Marisol watched him drive off…and she smiled at the wonderful plans she had for Aria…
T The Mess I’ve Made – Heller Mason
TT You’re The Only One – Maria Mena
TTT Mine Would be You – Blake Shelton
To think that just hours earlier, I was in Paige’s company, praising Declan’s hard work and preaching to her of all the positive aspects of our relationship, and how wonderful we were. I would have felt like a fool at how I was going on to her if I weren’t quite so emotional at that moment. Thank God Paige and I had been friends long enough that she allowed me to pace and ramble! Declan had called my cell phone several times. At first, I let it go to voicemail; I was just so angry that I didn’t trust what I might say to him. The last time he phoned, I answered, but I didn’t allow him to speak. I simply said, “I’m fine.” “I’m at Paige’s.” “I’ll talk to you tomorrow.” I then threw my phone in my bag just as Paige handed me glass of wine. I sat there and told her everything. She listened—just listened. At the end of my rant, which seemed an hour long, I finally looked at her, waiting for a comment. T
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