by Cathy Glass
‘Nervous,’ Marianne admitted. Derek nodded in agreement.
‘And how’s Beth?’ Jessie asked, turning to me.
‘All right. Not saying very much, but doing a lot of thinking,’ I said with a smile.
‘There’s a lot to think about,’ Jessie agreed. Marianne and Derek nodded. I thought, of the two, Derek appeared the more nervous.
‘OK. Now, to the reason we’re here today,’ Jessie said. ‘To plan Beth’s move home. Have you brought your diaries with you?’
I opened mine as Marianne took hers from her handbag and positioned it on the table between her and Derek, together with a pen.
‘Because this is a planned move,’ Jessie began, addressing us all, ‘and not an emergency, we have the time to do it properly, in stages, and it’s important we do. As you all know, I’m allowing a month to complete Beth’s move home, but this can be extended if necessary. I’ll be monitoring progress as we go and asking you all for regular feedback. Before we draw up the timetable for the move, does anyone have any questions?’
I shook my head.
‘I’m sure I should be asking lots of questions,’ Marianne said, with a small, nervous laugh, ‘but I can’t think of a single thing.’
‘Stop me if you think of anything,’ Jessie said. ‘We all need to feel comfortable with the pace of this.’ Marianne nodded. ‘So,’ Jessie continued looking at her diary, ‘I need to start Beth’s rehab home by visiting her, when I’ll explain the reason for our decision, and outline the timetable of the move to her. Although she’ll obviously need reminders as we go.’ Jessie glanced at me.
‘Yes, of course,’ I said.
‘I’d like to visit Beth on Monday after school,’ Jessie said to me, then, glancing across the table to Marianne and Derek: ‘This visit doesn’t affect you two.’
‘Monday is fine with me,’ I said, making a note in my diary.
‘Four o’clock,’ Jessie said. ‘I’m allowing a couple of hours. It’s important Beth understands what is happening. Now, to Tuesday,’ Jessie continued, looking around the table. ‘Marianne and Derek will visit Beth at Cathy’s house. I’m scheduling their visit in the early evening to avoid Marianne having to take more time off work. So what time can the two of you get to Cathy’s on Tuesday?’ Jessie now asked Marianne and Derek.
Marianne turned to Derek. ‘If you catch the bus to my office and we go to Cathy’s from there it will be quicker than me coming home first.’
‘Yes, I can do that,’ Derek said.
‘Good,’ Jessie said. ‘So what time would you arrive at Cathy’s?’
‘We can be there for five-thirty,’ Marianne said decisively.
We all noted this.
‘This first visit will be for an hour,’ Jessie continued. ‘And it’s important Beth sees the three of you getting along and working together. Keep it casual and relaxed. I suggest that over a cup of tea you chat and play some games with Beth.’
‘Beth may want to show you her bedroom,’ I said to Marianne and Derek. ‘She’s proud of it, as many girls of her age are.’ I’d been involved in rehabilitating a child home before, so I had expectations of what was involved.
‘That’s fine if she does,’ Jessie said. ‘And you can go in the garden with her if it’s a nice day, but you’re not taking her out on that day,’ Jessie said, now addressing Derek and Marianne. ‘Beth can be very insistent and she won’t necessarily appreciate the reasons why these visits are structured. The timetable gives everyone involved time to adjust to all the changes, so it’s important to keep to it. Understood?’
‘Yes,’ Marianne said. Derek nodded.
‘I’ll telephone you all on Wednesday to see how the visit went,’ Jessie said. ‘Then on Wednesday evening Marianne and Derek will telephone Beth.’ I made a note of this in my diary, as did Marianne. ‘Let’s set it for six o’clock. The phone call should last about fifteen minutes, and both Marianne and Derek will talk to Beth.’
Marianne and I noted this in our diaries. Then something suddenly occurred to me. ‘It’s Friday today,’ I said, glancing at Jessie. ‘Beth would normally telephone her father this evening. Will she still do that?’
‘Good point,’ Jessie said. ‘I’d forgotten.’ She looked at me thoughtfully. ‘What do you think?’
‘If Beth doesn’t telephone her father as usual this evening she’ll want to know why, so I’ll need to give her some explanation.’
Jessie nodded. ‘Let her phone as normal, then, but please no one mention the move home until I’ve seen her on Monday and had a chance to explain everything.’
‘So only Derek will be talking to Beth tonight?’ Marianne queried.
‘Yes, unless Beth asks to speak to you, which is possible. She knows you’re living with her father and is more accepting of you now.’
Marianne and Derek both nodded and I saw Marianne smile, clearly pleased by Jessie’s comment and the progress Beth had been making in their relationship.
‘As usual, Cathy will make the telephone call tonight,’ Jessie said to Marianne and Derek. ‘But once we’ve started the move home you’ll make the calls. It will send Beth the message that you want to phone her – you’re taking the initiative.’
Derek was watching Marianne writing. He was now supporting his head on one hand and looked rather worried. Jessie must have seen this for she said: ‘I know it’s a lot to take in, and it all seems a bit daunting, but once we get started it will all fall into place.’
‘Thank you,’ Marianne said.
‘Now, to Thursday,’ Jessie continued, pen in hand. ‘Marianne and Derek will visit Beth at Cathy’s house. This time it will be for two hours and you will take Beth out for some of that time. I’ll leave it up to you how much time you spend away from Cathy’s, but the whole visit is for two hours. You can include a drink and something to eat while you’re out. I expect Beth will be hungry.’
Marianne and I were making notes in our diaries again.
‘Then on Friday’, Jessie continued, ‘I’ll phone you all, and see how the visit has gone. Marianne and Derek will phone Beth on that Friday evening, and they will both speak to her as they did on Wednesday, which brings us to the weekend.’
Chapter Twenty-Six
The Visit
The planning of Beth’s move home continued. It was a gradual introduction, for although Beth was returning home she hadn’t lived there for over five months – a long period in a child’s life – and Marianne had made some changes to the flat, refurbishing and redecorating, which Beth needed to get used to. The meeting lasted an hour and a half, but I left the room feeling positive. Marianne had clearly gained confidence in her role as stepmother, although she still had some doubts in her ability – only natural given her past experience of trying to look after Beth. Derek seemed to follow Marianne’s lead in any matter relating to Beth; whether this was because he felt more comfortable with Marianne in charge or it had been decided in therapy, I didn’t know. I thought that Derek and Beth were very lucky to have Marianne. Many women wouldn’t have stood by their partner and his child to the extent Marianne had. She clearly had their best interests at heart and I hoped that, in time, Beth would grow to appreciate and love her just as Derek obviously did. At the end of the meeting Derek had thanked Marianne for all she was doing, and as they’d left he’d held her hand. I thought that their relationship was clearly back on track, and all that remained was to fit Beth in so they could be a proper family at last.
I collected Paula from Kay’s, we had some lunch and then that afternoon I took Paula to the mother and toddler group. From there we went straight to school to collect Adrian and Beth. That evening we telephoned Beth’s father and they talked about school and the weekend, among other things. Beth didn’t ask to speak to Marianne, but she did ask after her: ‘What’s Marianne doing?’ she said, without her usual grumpiness or anger.
‘Relaxing after work,’ Derek replied.
‘OK,’ Beth said easily, and continued talking about some
thing else.
Clearly a lot of work had taken place in therapy to change Beth’s perception of Marianne, and once we began the programme to move Beth home, what had been learned would be put fully into action and to the test.
It was nearly nine o’clock before John arrived home that Friday evening; he said there’d been an accident on the motorway. Paula was already in bed asleep and Beth and Adrian were on their way up to bed. John said goodnight to them both, kissed Adrian and said he would see them in the morning. John and I didn’t have much time to talk, as he was very tired and said he needed an early night, but as he drank the cup of tea I’d made I did have the chance to tell him that Beth would be able to go home, and he was pleased for her. John had to leave again on Sunday afternoon, but we’d made the most of the weekend, and he promised that the following week he’d book time off work for our summer holidays.
Monday morning for Beth was an ordinary morning, just like any other Monday, but that was because she didn’t know what I knew: that later Jessie would be telling her she could go home. I was so excited for Beth, for although we would miss her dreadfully, as a foster carer nothing is more rewarding than seeing a child successfully rehabilitated home. The anticipation I felt on waking grew as the day went on, so that by the time I collected Beth and Adrian from school I could barely contain myself.
‘Jessie is coming to see you at four o’clock,’ I reminded Beth.
‘Yes, I know,’ Beth said, without much enthusiasm.
‘I expect she’ll want to talk to you alone,’ I said.
‘She usually does,’ Beth said flatly.
‘It’ll be nice to see your social worker,’ I said.
‘Will it?’ Beth said, now looking at me a little oddly.
Once home, I made us a drink and a snack to see us through to dinner and then, when the doorbell rang, I rushed down the hall to answer it, butterflies churning my stomach. Beth, unfazed, was in the living room petting Toscha. Adrian and Paula were upstairs. I opened the door and saw that Jessie was smiling too, clearly delighted that she was able to bring Beth the news she wanted to hear.
‘Big day,’ Jessie said, stepping in.
‘Absolutely. Would you like a coffee?’
‘Yes, please.’
Jessie went into the living room while I made coffee. She left the living-room door open and I could hear her making light conversation with Beth and putting her at ease. I took the coffee through, set it on the occasional table within Jessie’s reach and then came out, closing the door behind me.
I knew that Beth, like many children in care, had been keeping a tight lid on her emotions in order to cope, and that once Jessie told her the good news all her built-up emotion would be released. I wasn’t wrong. Suddenly I heard Beth let out a loud, excited scream, and the door to the living room burst open.
‘Cathy!’ she cried at the top of her voice, running into the kitchen. ‘Jessie says I can go home!’ She threw herself into my arms.
‘Oh, love, that is good news,’ I said, holding her close. ‘How wonderful.’
‘Jessie says I can live with Daddy and Marianne!’ Beth repeated, as though she was unable to believe it.
‘That’s fantastic,’ I said, and my eyes filled. Beth had her head buried in my chest and both arms tightly around me. I knew it wouldn’t be long before I no longer felt her hug. ‘I’m so pleased for you, love,’ I said, my voice faltering. ‘But we’re going to miss you loads.’
‘I’m going to miss you too,’ she said and burst into tears. Which set me off.
Jessie appeared in the kitchen. ‘Oh dear. What have I done?’ she said, with a smile.
‘It’s all right,’ I said. ‘We’re happy, really, aren’t we, Beth?’
Beth nodded and sniffed.
I could see Jessie wanted to continue talking to Beth, so I gently eased her away, then I took a tissue from the box and wiped her eyes. I took another tissue and wiped my own.
‘You’ll still be able to see Cathy if you want to,’ Jessie said to Beth.
Beth nodded and blew her nose.
‘And while you’re at the same school, we’ll see you in the morning and afternoon in the playground,’ I added.
‘There!’ Jessie said positively. ‘Now, let’s go into the living room and I’ll show you the timetable for your move home.’
Beth blew her nose again and followed Jessie out of the kitchen. I heard the living-room door close. Adrian and Paula appeared, having heard Beth’s cries of delight from upstairs.
‘Is Beth really going home?’ Adrian asked, his face serious, while Paula looked at me, hoping she’d misheard.
‘Yes, she will be in a few weeks,’ I said.
‘Oh dear,’ Paula said, close to tears.
Fostering involves the whole family, so the carer’s children miss the foster child as much as the carer. Having to say goodbye to a child you’ve all grown close to is the downside of fostering, and you never really get used to it. The best we can do is to reassure ourselves and our families that the child will be happy, which is what I did with Adrian and Paula. And in Beth’s case I was able to remind them that we would still be seeing her in the playground.
‘That’s cool,’ Adrian said, partly reassured.
‘Is Beth very happy to go home?’ Paula asked.
‘Yes, love. She is.’
‘So am I, then,’ Paula said. ‘But I’ll still miss her.’
‘I know, love, we all will.’
Jessie was with Beth for an hour, and by the time she left Beth had a reasonable understanding of the timescale of her move home. Jessie gave Beth and me a printed copy of the timetable of the move, and on Beth’s copy Jessie had drawn a picture of a little house and written Home beneath the date she would actually move. Beth wanted to put her copy on her bedroom wall so she could tick off the days as they went, and also count the days to Home. We mounted the chart on her bedroom wall with Blu-tack, then she called Adrian and Paula in and showed them, proudly explaining what each day meant until Home. Paula was so impressed she wanted a timetable in her bedroom.
‘You’re home already, silly,’ Adrian said.
‘You can help me tick off mine,’ Beth said kindly.
That night Beth took a long while to go to sleep – hardly surprising with everything that must have been going through her mind. She asked me to run through the timetable again with her, which I did. Then she wanted confirmation that I would be staying with her during her first visit home. I said I would and pointed it out on her timetable: Cathy and Beth to visit Beth’s home. One hour. Beth then wanted reassurance that she would still see us in the playground after she’d moved. I understood she was feeling a bit insecure and that this would ease once the programme got under way and she slowly transferred the trust she’d put in me to her father and Marianne. I talked to her, hugged her and eventually Mr Sleep Bear got her off to sleep. I too was feeling anxious, although I didn’t let Beth know. Rehabilitating a child home can and does go wrong sometimes, resulting in the child returning into foster care. It doesn’t happen often, fortunately, but when it does it’s traumatic for the child and they can suffer feelings of rejection and worthlessness into adulthood. While I didn’t think that would happen here, you can never be completely sure.
The following morning Beth was very excited again. Over breakfast she told Adrian and Paula more than once that they would be meeting her daddy and Marianne tonight – their first visit. Then she described them in detail, even the ‘little lines’ Marianne had when she smiled, which I didn’t think she’d be too pleased about if she knew. Paula had actually met Marianne once before – when she’d brought Beth’s swimming costume – but it was a long time ago and she didn’t mention it. The way Beth now talked about her daddy was very different to the gushings of ‘Daddy’s little princess’ when she’d first arrived. Now her talk of her father was normal for a girl of her age. The contrast between this and her previous comments was so great that she could have been talking about a diffe
rent person, which in a way she was for all the changes Derek had made and was still making. Adrian and Paula must have felt comfortable with Beth’s talk, for they were happy to sit and listen until it was time to get ready for school.
That afternoon, when I collected Beth from school, Miss Willow came into the playground to see me. For a moment I thought there might have been a problem in school, as that’s often the reason a teacher seeks out a parent or carer at the end of the day – the child had fallen, or was upset, or hadn’t done their homework. But Miss Willow was smiling as she approached me.
‘Beth’s been telling me all about her visitors tonight,’ she said. ‘I’m so pleased.’
‘Yes, so are we,’ I said. ‘Jessie told you about the decision?’ For it occurred to me that perhaps the school hadn’t been updated, as they should have been.
‘Yes, she did,’ Miss Willow confirmed. ‘Jessie has been very good at keeping us informed.’ Then, addressing Beth, she said: ‘You have a lovely evening. I’ll look forward to hearing all about it tomorrow, and to seeing your dad and Marianne again when they bring you to school in the future.’ It was a lovely thing to say, and Beth beamed.
‘Thank you for all your help,’ I said to Miss Willow.
‘You’re welcome. I’m just pleased everything seems to be working out all right.’
Derek and Marianne arrived at exactly 5.30 p.m. as timetabled. Hearing the doorbell, Beth flew down the hall and then waited for me to open the door, as I liked all the children to do. ‘Hello. Come in,’ I said to them both.
Beth was so very excited and she hugged them both hard as they came in. Then, grabbing her father’s hand, she led him down the hall and into the living room, where she introduced him to Adrian and Paula. Marianne and I followed and I threw her a reassuring smile, for she looked even more nervous than Derek did.
‘And this is Marianne,’ Beth announced proudly to Adrian and Paula as we entered the living room. ‘She’s Daddy’s partner and is going to be my new mummy.’
